Victoria Wood needs to get back to comedy SHARPISH

[rural juror]

:Oi:

[TomLondon]

i take it you watched housewive 49 and didnt like it ?

i taped it, so shall watch it another day

[cwej]

I forgot all about it. Is it gonna be repeated on ITV2 or anything?

[rural juror]

Itas in the background

its dull

and she works in comedy but I'm not being funny, she doesnt CUT it as a dramatic actress

[rural juror]

I forgot all about it. Is it gonna be repeated on ITV2 or anything?

inevitably

[Alex]

Oh I liked it...very sad though :(
Maybe not the best sunday night viewing idea..

[rural juror]

it was just DULL and she doesnt have the RANGE to pull it off :(

[lolly]

Recorded it. Is it a bit of a sobfest then? I can't put myself through it if so.

[rural juror]

I cry at anythinhg and I have to say well....... NO

[lolly]

Is it straight drama then? I assumed it would be one of her bittersweet type things.

[rural juror]

no, no comedy as I saw, well she did her usual thing of northern women being a bit SHARP but far more restra8ined than usual and... you mknow when she tried to inject drama into series 2 of dinnerladies it diod nothing for me... oooh bit of PATHOS :manson:

this was like series 2 of dinnerladies without the laugfhs :(

[TomLondon]

the reviews said funny and sad...

[rural juror]

well I paisd less attentyion than I might I may have do9ne it a disservice but happy to go out on a limb and say it was dull shit

[Indie]

no SHE DOESN'T

because let's face it, she's REALLY NOT VERY FUNNY EITHER

[rural juror]

she was in her DAY :Oi:

[TomLondon]

no SHE DOESN'T

because let's face it, she's REALLY NOT VERY FUNNY EITHER

oh come on.. she's had some GREAT funny stuff...

[Indie]

i just can't ABIDE her comedy.. and never have... especially when she was on the piano... ugh.

[rural juror]

i just can't ABIDE her comedy.. and never have... especially when she was on the piano... ugh.

lets do it, Lets do It :)

[lolly]

I love her. She's rarely disappointed me. But most of the times she has, she's been sat in front of a piano.

[TomLondon]

Tracy Clegg and Nicola Battersby !

[Agnetha]

I HATE HER!

[rural juror]

Tracy Clegg and Nicola Battersby !

Have you seen my friend? KIMBERLEY?
:durst:

[lolly]

Tracy Clegg and Nicola Battersby !

They're dressed to kill and looking fantastic
Tracy's gone for rubber and plastic
Nicola's dress is a piece of elastic
It's under a heck of a strain

[cwej]

She';s wonderful.

I read an interview she did about this programme and she said she doesn't want to do comedy at the moment, so I assumed this was straight drama.

[Erri]

Shit! I missed it!

[rural juror]

IS IT ON THE TROLLEH?

[TomLondon]

Have you seen my friend? KIMBERLEY?
:durst:

Shes really really tall and really really wide.

We're going out drinking, I know what Kimberley will be having, Malibu. Shes malibu mad is our Kimberley

:D

[rural juror]

She';s wonderful.

I read an interview she did about this programme and she said she doesn't want to do comedy at the moment, so I assumed this was straight drama.

NO COMEDY is clearly the womans MANTRA right now

[TomLondon]

Ive got two fave monologues as well..

one where shes aerobics teacher, and she says "who else ? Kylie ? No I'm sorry, for me Kylie is too petite-o, I mean theres a point where skinny goes onto scrawny, and I should know, Im dangerously near it myself"

the other where shes a hairdresser " what was i saying previous ? oh yeah, my mother was hairdresser, my sister was a hairdresser and my cousin she was a hairdresser and my mother said to me what you planning on doing our madeleine, and i said modelling, she said modelling, i said yeah, she said you are modelling madeleine over my dead body, which were comical for a kick off, you couldnt do nothing over a body that size, except maybe volleyball"

[Agnetha]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1d/Victoria_Wood.jpg

FAT CUNT

[Sild]

Her best song is the one about Pamela Patricia

[Sild]

Can I tell you who I am?
I’m Pamela Patricia, but they call me Pam.
I don’t like shorts, or sling back shoes.
My only pair of trousers are my gardening trews.

I don’t say "who". I do say "whom".
I never use the toilet, just the smallest room.
I don’t say gay. I still say queer.
I think that Mussolini had the right idea.

Got engaged in sixty-two,
Got married in the April in a nice pale blue.
It all turned sour to say the least.
I was stuck in Abergele with a sex crazed beast.

Our wedding night, I heard a cough.
There was Harold in the doorway with his jamas off.
I said, "Now look, I must be blunt.
I couldn’t give a begger on the whole sex front.

Not me, not my scene.
I prefer a game of rummy and an Ovaltine.
Harold dear, now do get dressed.
I’ve seen one in a book and I was not impressed

Once divorced, I lived alone,
Then I chummed up with a woman by the name of Joan.
She moved in. She seemed quite nice,
Wore army boots and braces, but I didn’t think twice.

Then one night she seemed upset.
I said, "Are you not happy in my maisonette?"
She drained her rum and Babycham,
Ran here fingers through her crewcut, said, "I love you, Pam."

I didn’t faint. I didn’t scream,
Just carried on demolishing my custard cream.
She said, "Please come upstairs with me.
Let me show you just how wonderful a love can be."

I said, "All right, but don’t be late.
There’s a thing by Alan Bennett on at half past eight."
So up we go, and off she went.
But all I seemed to think about was Stoke on Trent.

Not me, it didn’t jell.
I prefer a cup of cocoa and a Ruth Rendell.
Joan dear, do get dressed.
No woman over forty suits a mauve string vest

Then last year, to beat the blues,
I booked myself a cabin on a ten-day cruise,
So much to do, so much to see,
With a load of single women who looked just like me.

Then one night I clicked like that
With a bachelor called Billy in a golfing hat.
We were so happy hand in hand
Listening to a lecture on the prostate gland.

I told him sex had been no go.
He took it as a challenge and we went below.
We kissed and hugged without delay.
He tried to take my rain hood off. I said, no way.

He said I bet you ten whole pounds
I bet you have an orgasm while I’m around.
He got stuck in. He really tried,
But I only felt a tremor down my left hand side

Not me. That’s my boast.
I prefer a bit of ironing and a slice of toast.
"Bill dear, do get dressed,"
But he just fell over moaning as he clutched his chest.

He went "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Well, it was that kind of sound.

Bill was dead. He’d died for me.
They took him on a stretcher as I drank my tea,
But as I poured another cup,
I thought, I never had an orgasm, I’m ten quid up.

[Erri]

The shoe shop sketch always does it for me...that and the Turkish Bath one...oh and the canteen sketch ("very wise with THOSE HIPS!") and...and...(I could go on!!)

[Jonfessions]

Can I tell you who I am?
I’m Pamela Patricia, but they call me Pam.
I don’t like shorts, or sling back shoes.
My only pair of trousers are my gardening trews.

I don’t say "who". I do say "whom".
I never use the toilet, just the smallest room.
I don’t say gay. I still say queer.
I think that Mussolini had the right idea.

Got engaged in sixty-two,
Got married in the April in a nice pale blue.
It all turned sour to say the least.
I was stuck in Abergele with a sex crazed beast.

Our wedding night, I heard a cough.
There was Harold in the doorway with his jamas off.
I said, "Now look, I must be blunt.
I couldn’t give a begger on the whole sex front.

Not me, not my scene.
I prefer a game of rummy and an Ovaltine.
Harold dear, now do get dressed.
I’ve seen one in a book and I was not impressed

Once divorced, I lived alone,
Then I chummed up with a woman by the name of Joan.
She moved in. She seemed quite nice,
Wore army boots and braces, but I didn’t think twice.

Then one night she seemed upset.
I said, "Are you not happy in my maisonette?"
She drained her rum and Babycham,
Ran here fingers through her crewcut, said, "I love you, Pam."

I didn’t faint. I didn’t scream,
Just carried on demolishing my custard cream.
She said, "Please come upstairs with me.
Let me show you just how wonderful a love can be."

I said, "All right, but don’t be late.
There’s a thing by Alan Bennett on at half past eight."
So up we go, and off she went.
But all I seemed to think about was Stoke on Trent.

Not me, it didn’t jell.
I prefer a cup of cocoa and a Ruth Rendell.
Joan dear, do get dressed.
No woman over forty suits a mauve string vest

Then last year, to beat the blues,
I booked myself a cabin on a ten-day cruise,
So much to do, so much to see,
With a load of single women who looked just like me.

Then one night I clicked like that
With a bachelor called Billy in a golfing hat.
We were so happy hand in hand
Listening to a lecture on the prostate gland.

I told him sex had been no go.
He took it as a challenge and we went below.
We kissed and hugged without delay.
He tried to take my rain hood off. I said, no way.

He said I bet you ten whole pounds
I bet you have an orgasm while I’m around.
He got stuck in. He really tried,
But I only felt a tremor down my left hand side

Not me. That’s my boast.
I prefer a bit of ironing and a slice of toast.
"Bill dear, do get dressed,"
But he just fell over moaning as he clutched his chest.

He went "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Well, it was that kind of sound.

Bill was dead. He’d died for me.
They took him on a stretcher as I drank my tea,
But as I poured another cup,
I thought, I never had an orgasm, I’m ten quid up.
YES. I desperately want an mp3 of this.

I saw a tranny mime to this in Manchester's illustrious Hollywood Showbar a few months ago. FABULOUS.

[Sild]

Don't know about a mp3, but it's on her 'new' DVD that's just come out (I use the word new advisedly loosely, as it's a show of hers from 1998)

[Sheena]

I ADORE Victoria Wood, but i just didnt fancy this AT ALL so didnt bother

[Agnetha]

She's about as FUNNY as stepping on BROKEN GLASS

[lolly]

from digitalspy

ITV1 drama Housewife, 49, written by and starring Victoria Wood, managed an audience of 8.2 million and a 33.5% share at 9pm last night.

The two-hour wartime drama was well above the channel's slot average of 6.3 million for the year so far.

[lolly]

Don't know about a mp3, but it's on her 'new' DVD that's just come out (I use the word new advisedly loosely, as it's a show of hers from 1998)


Is that THIS one, Sild?

http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/P/B000JLTSZI.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V36935532_.jpg

I saw that was released a couple of weeks ago. But I'm sure I've already got in on DVD.

[Jimmy]

I like the line in 'Let's do it' about beating her on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly. Reminds me of when my mum used to read that Magazine.