Portugal's absolute failure is one of the few redeeming aspects of this year.
VILE results tonight in many ways. UK, Spain, Norway, Iceland all massively fucked over in various ways. North pissing Macedonia doing well...
Nice of Madonna to pop in and patronise the established artists in the green room.
She’s not singing is she? I don’t think I can cope with this...
The turgid bint glut of Latvia/Romania/Denmark felt fucking endless but overall I liked this semi. Norway and Switzerland obvious highlights, and...
4. The Netherlands
LAST: North Macedonia
The lie detector is treated like a smoking gun by this show, but they're known to be wildly inaccurate. God knows how many other people have been...
They're the only practical remain vote. Maybe the Greens.
Labour SHOULD be filling that role, but they'll only use any remain support to claim a...
Did you not like it? I thought there was a bit of spectacle to it, a lot of the other performances looked a bit swamped by the massive stage.
This was the absolute standout of the night. Everything about it was correct.
I actually worried that Cyprus wouldn't qualify. It all just felt a bit lost in the shuffle.
You don't need to be a brain scientist to know it was a big steam pile of old shit.
He was already giving you Keala Settle farting over eleven different backing tracks at once, and now you want him to bung in a tune as well? Some...
Will everyone now admit they thought Portugal was shit and only liked it out of pity?
Delighted for San Marino as well.
Well done Portugal, thoroughly deserved.
10 out of 10 motherfuckers. Where's my fucking carriage clock?
Ooh hasn’t she got a lovely voice?
It’s fucking FOUL.
This cunt really has out-cunted himself. Unlistenable.