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Thread: Diddy did Eurovision 2006 - The countdown

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    Diddy did Eurovision 2006 - The countdown

    OH NO IT'S ME AGAIN

    I'm still quietly trundling through previous ESC contests in a vain effort to gain acceptance from the ESC loon community. I know I'm ultimately DOOMED but it's still a lot of fun. At least until this stage.

    So it's time to look at the 2006 contest from Athens. Sakis and Grace from Will and Grace did the presenting honours, and what amazing hosts they were!

    Oh did I say amazing? I meant terrible, awkward and incompetent. Never mind though, at least there were a decent crop of songs that year, at least ten, but maybe not quite twenty.

    I might as well bite the bullet and kick off with the bottom 7...

  2. #2
    Look at the old girl now, fellas RobotBoy's Avatar
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    CAROLA FTW

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    L! U! V! Penelope's Avatar
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    About time I did quite enjoy your other countdowns (even if Oro finishing bottom ten was UTTER OUTRAGE )

    I expect nothing other than a Carola/Kate/Dima Bilan gay top three.
    Last edited by Penelope; 20-11-2010 at 05:11 PM.

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    37. Eddie Butler - Together We Are One (Israel )
    #23 in the Grand Final



    Nothing REALLY atrocious at the bottom this list, but BY FUCK this was insipid. Feels like it came straight off Inspirational Hour on some foreign Christian worship show on satellite TV. The performance was pretty excruciating too.

    Jesus knows how this qualified over some amazing songs, but it deservedly did terrible in the final, JUSTICE.

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    I like how that picture makes it look like he's beatboxing

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    L! U! V! Penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diddy View Post
    37. Eddie Butler - Together We Are One (Israel )
    #23 in the Grand Final



    Jesus knows how this qualified over some amazing songs, but it deservedly did terrible in the final, JUSTICE.
    Someone's unfamiliar with autoqualification :geek:

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    36. LT United - We Are the Winners (Lithuania )
    #6 in the Grand Final



    *chorus of boos*. The Greeks really didn't like this did they? But while you might argue that Lordi's win was a bit of an anti-vote, THIS must surely be the real "Fuck Eurovision" song? Outrageous that this qualified ahead of Silvia Night who was essentially doing the same by congratulating herself on her win but at the opposite end of the fabulous scale.

    The only thing I did like was some of the Van Halen-esque tinges to the production, if they actually had a SONG with it other than something that resembled "ner ner-ner ner nerrr" it could have passable. But it didn't. Much as I hate booing on TV shows, something that ESC has usually avoided, it was rather DESERVED in this instance.

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ta'Lisa Shardone Quahvique View Post
    Someone's unfamiliar with autoqualification :geek:
    Oh shit, yes I forgot

    Well that DOES explain a few things

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    35. Vocal Group Cosmos - I Hear Your Heart (Latvia )
    #16 in the Grand Final



    This could have worked a lot better (see Lithuania 2010). On record it's got something about it just about, but the performance was a real DIN.

    I appreciate thinking outside the box for this contest but it's also nice when the finished product doesn't make me die inside.

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    L! U! V! Penelope's Avatar
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    Have Latvia EVER come out with something not absolutely -worthy? I think not. May their 20% fall in GDP continue FOREVER.

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    34. Nonstop - Coisas de nada (Portugal )
    Did not qualify, #19 in Semi-Final



    What a lovely photo!

    So the hapless Portuguese wheel out another doomed attempt at victory. But I mean REALLY? This is just such a weak song, I can't quite put my finger on WHY. I'd venture a guess that it's the rubbish chorus that sounds like it was made up in about 5 minutes.

    But then you have the Portuguese bits that sound a lot nicer, but you still have the issue of the quite irritating trumpet accompaniment that makes it sound like some foreign Chumbawamba tribute band. GUH...

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ta'Lisa Shardone Quahvique View Post
    Have Latvia EVER come out with something not absolutely -worthy? I think not. May their 20% fall in GDP continue FOREVER.
    I did rather like Pirates of the Sea for my sins

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    L! U! V! Penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diddy View Post
    I did rather like Pirates of the Sea for my sins
    I did too, but then to be honest I find the vast majority of novelty entries to be simultaneously and -worthy, to my eternal shame

    Apart from Leto Svet, which merited the mega-manson.

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    33. Las Ketchup - Un Blodymary (Spain )
    #21 in the Grand Final



    From Portugal to their Spanish neighbours, and one of the "big names" of the contest. I mean you remember them right? From The Ketchup Song, and also The Ketchup Song (Xmas remix)?

    It's a pretty dull and very Mediterranean experience that isn't particularly great on record, and even worse live. Apart from the well-known name, I struggle to see how a country as big as Spain couldn't come up with a better song, but that's the age-old problem with a lot of Big Four entries isn't it?

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    Valar Morghulis Johnkm's Avatar
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    I'm going to wait to comment later once all the DROSS is bypassed.
    'Sue, did the President call?' ... 'No' Last.fm

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    L! U! V! Penelope's Avatar
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    I think it's safe to say that it wasn't Iberia and the Big Four's year in 2006

    (NO NO NEVER ASIDE OF COURSE )

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    Valar Morghulis Johnkm's Avatar
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    Dima Bilan should top this though, as he should have done in the real thing. A much better song than Believe.
    'Sue, did the President call?' ... 'No' Last.fm

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    32. Annet Artani - Why Angels Cry (Cyprus )
    Did not qualify, #15 in Semi-Final



    I really hate writing up the bottom bunch of songs, since usually I have to listen to them again. There were few real shockingly awful songs this year, but there is a pretty large quagmire of bland toilet-break songs, handy for those with bladder problems.

    Cyprus arrive next, with a typically laclustre effort. Schmaltzy and boring, I'm really struggling to find much else to say about it.

  19. #19
    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    The song wasn't as exciting as that fellatio-tastic picture suggests

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    L! U! V! Penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnkm View Post
    Dima Bilan should top this though, as he should have done in the real thing. A much better song than Believe.
    Oh yes. I mean, Russia put on a truly fabulous show in 2009, and we'd have probably been robbed of Serebro if Russia hosted in 2007 (as well as the wonderful Hanna Pakarinen and Natalia Barbu), but it is truly diabolical that Believe won when Never Let You Go didn't

  21. #21
    L! U! V! Penelope's Avatar
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    The beginning of that Cypriot chorus always sounded SLIGHTLY EXCITING as if it was about to rip off Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You. ALAS, it was the most exciting element of that complete non-song.

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    31. Mariana Popova - Let Me Cry (Bulgaria )
    Did not qualify, #17 in Semi-Final



    Last one for now, I may do another 10 tonight. So off to BULGARIE for a slightly more uptempo effort than Cyprus, but what it has in tempo it matches with shrieking. This is a real chore to listen to, and that's before the bonechillingly awful guy at the 2:10 mark who sounds like he's straining out the spikiest poo imaginable. Let me SKIP

  23. #23
    Nothing's ever black and white Kevin's Avatar
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    I don't like booing at Eurovision. Poor Silvia Night got booed as well by those horrible Greeks. I was kinda glad that LT United did better than Anna Vissi.
    What's confusing? We just find the heart of the prison and the dragon who speaks without walls, and we're home free. Simple.

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    Look at the old girl now, fellas RobotBoy's Avatar
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    I get the praise for 'Never Let You Go' as a SONG, but as a piece of recorded, or live, music it is DIABOLICAL. His voice, his accent, everything about it. Hideous.

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    Nothing's ever black and white Kevin's Avatar
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    Still no Treble? They were AWFUL. Nice girls, terrible song. Worst Dutch entry of the last 10 years at least.
    What's confusing? We just find the heart of the prison and the dragon who speaks without walls, and we're home free. Simple.

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    L! U! V! Penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RobotBoy View Post
    I get the praise for 'Never Let You Go' as a SONG, but as a piece of recorded, or live, music it is DIABOLICAL. His voice, his accent, everything about it. Hideous.
    Well yes, but the vocal performance is still a lot better than 'IIHVAN WAN THE THUNDURREEEENG STAWWM BEE GINS' surely?

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    Nothing's ever black and white Kevin's Avatar
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    I prefer Lordi to Dima. It should have been Carola OBVIOUSLY.
    What's confusing? We just find the heart of the prison and the dragon who speaks without walls, and we're home free. Simple.

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    Valar Morghulis Johnkm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
    I prefer Lordi to Dima.
    Oh dear
    'Sue, did the President call?' ... 'No' Last.fm

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    Nothing's ever black and white Kevin's Avatar
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    I would never admit it to my Sweden / Carola hating friend, but I was highly annoyed that Romania pushed Sweden down to 5th in the last vote.
    What's confusing? We just find the heart of the prison and the dragon who speaks without walls, and we're home free. Simple.

  30. #30
    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ta'Lisa Shardone Quahvique View Post
    Have Latvia EVER come out with something not absolutely -worthy? I think not. May their 20% fall in GDP continue FOREVER.
    I kind of LOVE Latvia actually, 'My Star' is one of my favourite ESC entries ever, and I've never ever been bored by them, they never send the same thing twice.
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

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    L! U! V! Penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by David View Post
    I kind of LOVE Latvia actually, 'My Star' is one of my favourite ESC entries ever, and I've never ever been bored by them, they never send the same thing twice.
    My Star ASIDE, but it's a bit before my time. Without wishing to verge into Barack Osama territory, I think Probka is the greatest argument possible for the forthwith destruction of Latvia.

  32. #32
    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    I'm also fond of Questa Notte
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

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    Never thought I'd work again Pingu's Avatar
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    I didn't mind Bloody Mary

    Their performance was godawful though

  34. #34
    Never thought I'd work again Pingu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by David View Post
    I'm also fond of Questa Notte
    Me too!

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    30. Arsenium ft Natalia Gordienko & Connect-R - Loca (Moldova )
    #20 in the Grand Final



    Ho hum ... Moldova are a bit hit and miss with their entries, and while the studio version of this JUST about shambles along without a major disaster, the same could not be said for the live performance. Who imagined someone from vocal powerhouses O-Zone could balls things up.

    Actually he was the least of their worries, the blonde was rather shrill, and we didn't need a guest rapper. Just a bit of a mess. Arsey was quite cute but I still prefer Dan Balan (gay).

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    29. Hari Mata Hari - Lejla (Bosnia and Herzegovina )
    #3 in the Grand Final



    Do I hear bloc-voting? That's the only explanation I have for its baffling success in the final. It comes to a decent climax but that's all I really have in the way of positive comments. It's a pretty boring ballad that could really have come from anywhere and been sung by anyone vaguely competent.

    Alright but NOT the 3rd best of the contest (obviously)

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    28. Treble - Amambanda (Netherlands )
    Did not qualify, #20 in Semi-Final



    Well they were DUE weren't they? Not sure I quite agree with the comment about it being the worst Dutch entry (I haven't forgotten 2009 yet). It's jaunty and energetic, if a little fraught with all the drums etc.

    Difficult to remember apart from the chorusy bit, but it sounds like a decent Portuguese entry, which is more than Portugal managed this year.

  38. #38
    Nothing's ever black and white Kevin's Avatar
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    I was never so sure we wouldn't be in the final.
    What's confusing? We just find the heart of the prison and the dragon who speaks without walls, and we're home free. Simple.

  39. #39
    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    I actually QUITE LIKE Amambanda.

    There, I said it. Well certainly more than dross like 'Without You' and 'Shine'
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    27. Luiz Ejlli - Zjarr e ftohtė (Albania )
    Did not qualify, #14 in Semi-Final



    Finally a few twinges of interest, it only took 10 songs. I like that mysterious intro with a rather autotune-sounding ethnic instrument.

    Obviously my Albanian isn't up to much (though I think he's saying something about Mandy Moore in the chorus), so I am left to enjoy the music and melody. Happily, while I've heard more memorable choruses, it's an interesting enough sounding song not to make me want to die.

    Not the best Albanian entry by a long shot, but not the worst.

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