Nicole Scherzinger - Killer Love (The 'Debut' OPUS)

[Johnkm]

Rubbish VoR! It was her first BUZZ SINGLE and THE BEST

Nonsense, nothing Queen Nic did pre-Poison was anything other than SHIT.

[Kevin]

This doesn't even have a release date yet over here, so I just ordered it on amazon

[VoR]

Well dUb obviously didn't last the course, but I am going to do a PROPER first listen party.

1. Poison - The frantic stench of desperation reeks from every note of this song in a manner not seen since the glory days of Lisa Scott-Lee. I do think it's essentially quite a weak pop song, but the utter ridiculousness has grown on me. It's just trying SO SO hard, and the fact that it ultimately falls short sort of adds to the charm. 7/10

2. Killer Love - So this is the one about bumsex, right? Very shouty vocal and it really is generic as fuck aside from the eyebrow raising lyrics, but undeniably catchy and quite possibly another big (UK & Ireland only) hit. That SCREAMED OUT glory note actually does sound like the result of somebody shoving a 12 inch cock up her arse with no lube and no warning. CONCEPTUAL 8/10

3. Don't Hold Your Breath - Genuinely one of the best pop songs of the year so far. I just love the beat and the way it drives along. It's perfect to POWER STRUT to. I'm so, so happy this was an actual #1 hit single. I think it's quite a clever lyrical hook, too. Y'know, relatively... 10/10.

[VoR]

4. Right There - Oh my God is she singing PATOIS? This is such a transparent attempt at a Rihanna-esque summer hit as to be quite LAUGHABLE. Her voice sounds so processed here. It makes a nice change from her throaty screaming, but I'd be interested to hear her attempt this live as it sounds almost nothing like her. Pleasant but unremarkable with moderate hit potential if Rihanna takes a break this summer and the radio needs some SUMMER FILLER. 6.5/10

[VoR]

5. You Will Be Loved - BORING. Drippy inspirational balladry of this kind is NOT what I want from the Queen of Desperation. Bumped from a 3 to a 4 for the gloriously retarded bridge where she starts YODELLING for no apparent reason. 4/10

[Suomi]

I'm surprised that I'm surprised that this is an 'event album' on Moopy

I mean, she's OKAY but are we all just bridging the gap between Britney and Gaga?

[VoR]

6. Wet - The verses to this sound a LOT like Only Girl (In The World) and the chorus sounds like some other pop hit I can't quite place. So yeah, generic-o-rama again but entertaining. I can see this working as a single. 7/10

God she REALLY wants to be Rihanna, doesn't she? YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER MOTHER NICOLE!

[VoR]

I'm surprised that I'm surprised that this is an 'event album' on Moopy

I mean, she's OKAY but are we all just bridging the gap between Britney and Gaga?

You know how we prefer our desperate no hopers to legitimately succesful pop stars.

[Johnkm]

I'm surprised that I'm surprised that this is an 'event album' on Moopy

I mean, she's OKAY but are we all just bridging the gap between Britney and Gaga?

But do they REAK of DESPERATION? I think NOT

[Johnkm]

And in case anyone is confused, Queen Nic is indeed used with more than a small degree of irony attached.

[VoR]

7. Say Yes - God this album is so generic it might as well have been produced by RedOne's PHOTOCOPIER.

That said I enjoy the pre-chorus to this and it's more of a traditional pop song than an attempt to cling to Rihanna's coat-tails. The chorus doesn't exactly jump out and grab you, but much like Don't Hold Your Breath, the whole thing chugs along at a very enjoyable pace. 7/10

[VoR]

8. Club Banger Nation - What the HELL is THIS?

One of my very favourite things in modern pop is the variety of expression pop stars have used while crowbarring the obligatory "RedOne!" shout-out into the intro of their songs. Here, Nicole seems to have set her tone to STERN, as if she's a primary school teacher and RedOne is the unruly kid picking his nose at the back of the class.

In fact her entire vocal on this song is so ANGRY. I feel like I'm being disciplined.

As the title suggests it's a game attempt at a proper club track. I'm sure it'd have the likes of Funky and Widge clutching their chests and turning pale, but it's exactly the kind of RIDICULOUSNESS I was hoping for from this mess. 9/10.

[Johnkm]

I have to say, much as I was expecting to hate Club Banger Nation I am starting to love it. Her angry tone further into the song is AMAZING

[VoR]

9. Power's Out - Oh Christ, another ballad. This time with added STING.

Is it actually sampling the riff from 'Every Breath You Take' or is the similarity coincidental?

This is very boring and Sting sounds bored. It threatens to take off a couple of times, but just descends back into gloop before it actually goes anywhere. Pointless, and the epitome of FILLER. 3/10

[VoR]

10. Desperate - Not unpleasant, but a total album track. 5/10

[VoR]

11. Everybody - Drifting into definite end-of-album filler territory now. This has quite a nice, slightly moody chorus though so I'll bump it up to a 6/10.

[VoR]

12. Casualty - INSTANT marks off for not using the Oxide & Neutrino sample

Another MEH ballad. Why was 'Cold' left off in favour of gloop like this? Did a more high-profile artist nick it? 5/10

[PercyPig]

What do you rate Cold VoR?

[RobotBoy]

CLUB BANGER NATION is both brilliant and hilarious. I am already obsessed with it.

[Jark]

I think they were just UNAWARE of how much the fans like Cold. She keeps being asked about it and telling people IT MIGHT BE A B-SIDE.

[VoR]

13. Amenjena - Ah, the obligatory stripped down piano ballad to close things off. There really isn't an original thought within a ten mile radius of this record.

Again, this REALLY isn't what I want from Nicole. What the fuck is Amenjena anyway? It's reasonably nice though, probably sounds better coming after the drearily generic and more produced ballads that precede it. Drags on a bit, though. 6.5/10


Overall the first half is pretty entertaining but it really falls off a cliff about 2/3 in. 7/10

[Jark]

AmenJena means 'Peaceful Paradise' apparently

A lot of the uptempos especially keep on revealing themselves over repeated listens. This is my adjusted tracklist:

01 Killer Love
02 Poison
03 Don't Hold Your Breath
04 You Will Be Loved
05 Right There
06 Wet
07 Say Yes
08 Cold
09 Club Banger Nation
10 Casualty
11 Desperate

It works MUCH better with Killer Love as the opener, the run of the three big uptempos in the middle and Desperate closing things.

[PercyPig]

And in case anyone is confused, Queen Nic is indeed used with more than a small degree of irony attached.

I think Devil might have something to say about that!

[Halli]

This is #24 on the Amazon chart.

I predict #9 or #10 in the midweeks tomorrow.

[Johnkm]

I think Devil might have something to say about that!

I started it, so he can JOG ON.

[Jark]

And in case anyone is confused, Queen Nic is indeed used with more than a small degree of irony attached.

I don't believe that for ONE SECOND.

[PercyPig]

I’m waiting for a man with the fan who can give me a breeze

Ain’t we all Nic! Ain’t we all!

[Tramell]

The rise of MISS SCHERZI is all the more FASCINATING since it's been (for now) a UK based rebirth.

Isn't it the first time a U.S. popstar considered a "has-been" by the entire industry suddenly goes BOOM thanx to good old England???

Now I just hope the whole world follows and she can take the place of Rihanna as the new BLACK MADONNA.

[PercyPig]

Did we practically keep Anastasia in sunglasses for the most part of her career?

[Devil]

I started it, so he can JOG ON.

No need to stress, I'm bringing Queen Nic to Australia She's replaced Britney as my "oh-my-god" artist now for all my straight friends to DESPISE

[Johnkm]

Queen Nic going INTERNATIONAL

[Jark]

(selected territories only)

[Johnkm]

It's only a matter of time before everywhere is a CLUB BANGER NATION

[Penelope]

God, this album is INCREDIBLE Everything I'd have ever wanted from a generic pop album (Cold's non-inclusion aside ). Killer Love for next single thank you.

[Johnkm]

#7 in the midweeks.

[VoR]

Performing about the same as Alexis then - although it's a busier week so probably higher sales.

[PercyPig]

Halli needs to get back on his horse for some PRO-MO

[VoR]

I'm surprised she isn't doing signings up and down the country.

Global superstar Nicole Scherzinger - appearing at HMV Sheffield Meadowhall this Friday!

[Christian]

Halli needs to get back on his horse for some PRO-MO

That poor nag has been RUN RAGGED trying to get the single to NUMBER ONE

But I agree. OLD COMPTON ST awaits you HALLI

[Johnkm]

Now that Queen Nic is a bonafide $UCCE$$, maybe Halli can UPGRADE to something more suited to the #1 ARTIST IN THE UK, like a white helicopter