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Thread: Diddy did Eurovision 2011 - the countdown

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    disco Diddy did Eurovision 2011 - the countdown

    HELLO HELLO. Gosh, this feels like such old news doesn't it?

    I left it this long because I wanted a chance to watch the DVD and have a good look at the performances. Those with decent memories and a passing interest might remember that I went to Dusseldorf for this year's contest, so I didn't really get a chance to see the show in the controlled environment I wanted.

    I did manage to go to the second semi-final 2, happily sparing me another night of utterly terrible BBC coverage by Sara Cox. We were right at the back, and we did have to make it from the airport runway to our seats within 50 minutes, but it was only 5 Euro and we got a good view of the massive TV screen.

    Also, as we did last year, rather than spend Ł170 for Grand Final tickets (and good luck, the booking system crashed for 4 hours and reopened with most of the tickets sold), we went for the Jury final on the Friday night, and got given THE WORST tickets. I'm still complaining to NDR about THAT. But we got a great view of the backs of the performers' heads (when we weren't seeing the backs of the audience's heads).

    ANYWAY, I would say that the show was as flash as could be expected from a Big Four host, though I couldn't help but feel that Oslo put on a better show with more personable presenters, and the show didn't quite hit the bombastically extravagant look of Moscow's show. I would agree with early criticism that a stadium wasn't well suited for the show. The walkway was a nice idea but it was SO big that it took a large part of the 3-minute songs just to get there!

    But what of the MUSIC? Well I'll do my usual and count down the 43 entries this year. HOPE YOU LIKE IT, or at least enjoy commenting on just the bits you disagree with

    <3

  2. #2
    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    If Popular is #1 I will lose every picogram of respect I have for you.

    That's right, BOTH OF THEM
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

  3. #3
    1-2-3 drink Mugatu's Avatar
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    Hooray!



    Kati Wolf mulls over her chances of grabbing the top spot.

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    43. Homens da Luta - A luta é alegria (Portugal )
    #18 in Semi-final 1



    Hmm well someone has to come last, and it was a surprisingly easy decision to come to. In fact, Europe nearly agreed, placing them just ahead of Poland in the first semi final, not least by virtue of 8 points from Spain. How the fuck in these days of anti-political voting separation did Spain end up voting in Portugal's semi??

    Anyway, a novelty/protest song that managed neither definition. If there was a message, it was mostly lost on the viewer by being in Portuguese. Of course there were some signs in various languages but God knows what that was about. The song itself was quite uninteresting, the sort of thing I could imagine hearing in Nandos. No wonder they've never won it.

    I just hope it's not about their financial situation, because this was NOT worth paying the entry fee for.

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by David View Post
    If Popular is #1 I will lose every picogram of respect I have for you.

    That's right, BOTH OF THEM
    I was going to say, WHAT RESPECT

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    STADIUM ANTHEM MIX Penelope's Avatar
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    If we don't have a WOLF/SAADE top two I may have to trash the tags with Saade graffiti.

  7. #7
    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    I kinda found Portugal charmingly shit, definitely one of the worst three songs in the contest (though I dislike 'So Lucky' more) but sometimes crap can be endearing.
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    42. Musiqq - Angel in Disguise (Latvia )
    #17 in Semi-final 2



    Oh actually, maybe the last place wasn't so clear-cut. These guys managed to make 3 minutes feel like slow death, and here was me lucky enough to see them perform live! What an ungrateful cuss.

    At least it sounded vaguely modern, but the lyrics were hugely shit and it just felt flat and rubbish. Even the rap bit was a slight improvement but pretty dated. Kill me with killer kiss? The main guy had a weird face to, like an overinflated balloon.

    Well done Latvia on failing to deliver on my already low expectations. THAT WAS SARCASM

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    HORSE TRANQUILISERS PLZ Tetris-Rock's Avatar
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    Don't worry Diddy, I still think "Popular" is the TITS.
    Last edited by Tetris-Rock; 16-07-2011 at 10:29 PM.
    GIVE YOURSELF A SHINY
    Twittah.
    Talking Pop and Politics.

  10. #10
    STADIUM ANTHEM MIX Penelope's Avatar
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    Latvia probably are my least favourite Eurovision country of all time (tied with Lithuania, but at least they didn't give us an utterly shit winner), but I do have to say Musiqq was punching more at typical Estonian than Latvian levels. Not GREAT, but enjoyable enough.

  11. #11
    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tetris-Rock View Post
    Don't worry Diddy, I still think "Popular" is the TITS.
    *makes note for next mod election*
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

  12. #12
    STADIUM ANTHEM MIX Penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tetris-Rock View Post
    Don't worry Diddy, I still think "Popular" is the TITS.
    So does everyone with any sense! I make it my morning alarm so I can have a moment on waking up every day.

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    1-2-3 drink Mugatu's Avatar
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    I am counting on a strong showing for SALIBRATE.

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    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    I don't mind 'Angel In Disguise', and I have a sneaking regard for a number of Latvian entries (My Star and Questa Notte I quite love actually) but there has been some dross.
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

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    STADIUM ANTHEM MIX Penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mugatu View Post
    I am counting on a strong showing for SALIBRATE.
    PUTCHOR *clap**clap* HAAAANZAAAAP!

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    41. Yüksek Sadakat - Live It Up (Turkey )
    #13 in Semi-final 1



    One of the selling points of this year's show was the number of interesting stories coming out of it. First of these in this countdown was the rather shock fall from grace for the Turks. I think practically everyone was cynically (and correctly) assuming that Turkey would qualify this year, someone even suggested that they could armpit-fart their way to the final (which of course they did with Hadise in 2009).

    Trotting out some REAL MUSIC, particularly some dated RAWK heightened our cynicism further. Given Turkey's massive success last year with MaNGa taking 2nd place in Oslo, history seemed set to repeat. Except then it didn't! Well I don't think many people cried for the loss of this pretty uneventful crud, despite the contortionist shoe-horned into the staging. The group just didn't have the command of the stage that MaNGa did, nor the quality of song.

    At least it feels like justice was done in some measure during that shocking first semi-final.

  17. #17
    STADIUM ANTHEM MIX Penelope's Avatar
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    I think we can safely assume given Yuksek and Emmy would've made it through on televotes that Armenia and Turkey are unlikely to miss out in the future unless they get some proper jury hatred.

    Still weeping for Stella though Fucking juries.

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    40. Witloof Bay - With Love Baby (Belgium )
    #11 in Semi-final 2



    Acapella must sound like such a good idea sometimes. Put some faith in the talent of the performers instead of relying on flashy performances and gimmicks, YEAHHH. Indeed there is an almost yearly history of vocal groups at Eurovision in recent years, and for a few moments this even sounded like it was going to work.

    I did quite like this at one point, perhaps due to my low expectations of how good it would be. Very divisive I'd imagine, at least to begin with. After several listens I was getting a bit sick of it, but that was before the performance. To give them credit, they NEARLY squeezed Moldova out of the final, though that's not much of a tradeoff.

    But the point with putting your faith in a vocal group is that they don't fuck up the vocals, because that's ALL YOU HAVE. It wasn't a total disaster, but surely it didn't go to plan. Keeping it simple paid dividends for Tom Dice in 2010, but I think they took the wrong lesson out of that success ... better luck next time Belgium.

  19. #19
    Valar Morghulis Johnkm's Avatar
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    I actually quite like the Latvian song, it's not a highlight by any means but it's not exactly one of the lowest points either.
    'Sue, did the President call?' ... 'No' Last.fm

  20. #20
    STADIUM ANTHEM MIX Penelope's Avatar
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    Wait, I've just realised. Why the fuck are Moldova this high Diddy?

  21. #21
    Valar Morghulis Johnkm's Avatar
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    The other 3 are all UTTER UTTER SHITE.
    'Sue, did the President call?' ... 'No' Last.fm

  22. #22
    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    I'm not used to getting to these heights without Lithuania being featured
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

  23. #23
    Valar Morghulis Johnkm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penelope Stagnant View Post
    Wait, I've just realised. Why the fuck are Moldova this high Diddy?
    Good point, knowing Diddy it'll be top 20.
    'Sue, did the President call?' ... 'No' Last.fm

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    1-2-3 drink Mugatu's Avatar
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    I think Belgium had an interesting idea but the execution of it was piss-poor (those clothes, the beatboxer...). They looked like a budget Euro version of The Unconventionals.

    Haba Haba missing out really was a travesty. JUSTICE4Stella

  25. #25
    STADIUM ANTHEM MIX Penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnkm View Post
    Good point, knowing Diddy it'll be top 20.
    Does that make it at least a 12/10 for him then?

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    39. Christos Mylordos - San aggelos s'agapisa (Cyprus )
    #18 in Semi-final 2



    It's a bit of a struggle even referring to Cyprus as Eurovision hopefuls, because fuck knows they rarely seem to have a hope of qualifying. While last year their entry seemed to have a lot of good feeling about it, even that only just squeaked into the final. This Greek-language song had a few good moments in the choruses, and that whole Smooth Criminal-esque leaning routine, but it does have a feeling of "toilet break song" doesn't it?

    Even the wailing woman swinging her balls around on the front stage didn't really do much for me, and Europe placed them second-last in the second semi. Whoops.

  27. #27
    Valar Morghulis Johnkm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penelope Stagnant View Post
    Does that make it at least a 12/10 for him then?
    13/10 - it's alright.
    'Sue, did the President call?' ... 'No' Last.fm

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    38. Zdob şi Zdub - So Lucky (Moldova )
    #12 in the Final



    Alright guys, calm yourselves, here is Moldova. It was at LEAST better than Turkey for having some vague interest, and some TUNE to it (in places). My irrational hatred of unicyclists was tested here, as well as shouty Eastern-bloc rock music that I don't give a shit about. Watching the performance I can imagine why some ironic viewers might have picked up their phones, which I guess partly explains their 12th placing in the final despite being the lowest-scorer qualifying from the semi-finals.

    I'm not even sure if this was a gimmicky novelty entry, seeing as they are a quite established act in that part of the world, in fact they even represented Moldova in 2005 too. Maybe this is what all the Moldovans listen to... but not me.

  29. #29
    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penelope Stagnant View Post
    Does that make it at least a 12/10 for him then?
    Quote Originally Posted by Johnkm View Post
    13/10 - it's alright.
    SORRY, am I being LECTURED in HYPERBOLE by YOU TWO!!?! *hypocrisy detector melts*

  30. #30
    Valar Morghulis Johnkm's Avatar
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    CALM DOWN DEAR.
    Last edited by Johnkm; 16-07-2011 at 10:56 PM.
    'Sue, did the President call?' ... 'No' Last.fm

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    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    It's not mean if it's true...
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

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    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    37. Poli Genova - Na inat (Bulgaria )
    #12 in Semi-final 2



    Right, just to announce to you all, I don't really dislike anything from this point onwards, but we are now entering the AMBIVALENCE ZONE. So I will do a few of these tonight because I don't think I'll make it through this boring bunch without cutting corners in my commentary, heaven forbid.

    So Bulgaria, they're always a bit of a wildcard aren't they? Hardly a glittering history of success, only qualifying once in the 7 years since their entry to the contest. After trying some eurodance last year, and some ... well I'm not quite sure how to describe their 2009 entry, they entered a middling rock-pop track with a lesbianish frontwoman.

    I mean it's ALRIGHT, but it's not really breaking new ground, a bit of a mid-00s-sounding noise but doesn't do a lot for me. One where I remember the background visuals more than the song, not a good start...

  33. #33
    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    Na Inat would be borderline top 10 for me... deserved to qualify based on the performance I feel.
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

  34. #34
    GET LUCKY Win_the_game's Avatar
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    Bulgaria were easily one of my favourites this year.

  35. #35
    STADIUM ANTHEM MIX Penelope's Avatar
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    If P!nk were Bulgarian I imagine Na Inat would be one of her CHOIX lesbian anthem CUTZ.

  36. #36
    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    36. Vlatko Ilievski - Rusinka (FYR Macedonia )
    #16 in Semi-final 2



    One last one before bed I tihnk, and a track that promised to be more interesting than it ended up being. Actually this isn't too bad, it starts off sounding like some sort of eurodance rock hybrid, but emerges as a pretty straightforward modern rock track with a vaguely Soviet folksy feel to it.

    FYR Macedonia again hardly have the best track record, generally because the juries twice booted them out of the final in favour of Sweden and Finland despite coming 10th in their semis. I won't get too upset because usually they are shit. But this was at least LISTENABLE, and I quite like the word Rusinka. I feel like 16th place in the semi was a bit harsh, but then I guess I'm only giving them 36th place from 43 songs so maybe I don't feel that bad.

  37. #37
    Valar Morghulis Johnkm's Avatar
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    Na Inat is rather brilliant, it did grow old with a few too many plays around the time though but it's still top 15 of the year for me.
    'Sue, did the President call?' ... 'No' Last.fm

  38. #38
    WATERMELON Diddy's Avatar
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    OK boys, that's my lot for tonight, I'm BUSHED. I might try and do #35-#21 tomorrow night. HOW EXCITING

  39. #39
    Misanthropic Old Bastard David's Avatar
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    We have Moopyvision results tomorrow (possibly), we don't NEED you

    Come back Monday
    You are a depraved bird of hate, get out of my sight!

  40. #40
    Nothing's ever black and white Kevin's Avatar
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    As said before, Macedonia having a great intro makes it probably even worse for me.
    What's confusing? We just find the heart of the prison and the dragon who speaks without walls, and we're home free. Simple.

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