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It's so emotional and Mariah sounds so fragile...have you guys no hearts?!
I still think 'Never Too Far' is a great little ballard
It's so emotional and Mariah sounds so fragile...have you guys no hearts?!
I love just how DESPERATE she was to make 'Never Too Far' a hit.
Even turning up as Cat Deeley's bridesmaid on Chums
Originally Posted by Loufoque
That was the best thing about the Charmbracelet era. She'd do ANYTHING.
And people say this bitch can't ACT!
FEARLESS FEMALE
50. Sweetheart (featuring Jermaine Dupri)
Average: 5.76
Released: 1998
Chart peak: 125 US
Voxious or noxious? Showing the very first signs of vocal decay
How black is she here? 81%
Look up in the dictionary: Casanova (noun) Italian adventurer; known for his memoirs that describe his sexual encounters and other exploits.
Best listened to... at the back of the school bus with the black girls circa 98
When Sony insisted on a new Mariah record in late 1998 (quite possibly to wring the last few dollars out of her as her star went into decline), she cobbled together a bunch of new tracks to accompany her #1s compilation. This cover of the minor Rainy Davis hit from 1986 is a perfectly servicable version, complete with signature production values from Jermaine Dupri, but failed to match the highs of the other songs included on the record. It continued Mariah's flirtation with the hip-hop sounds she'd incorporated on her Butterfly album the previous year, and was accompanied by a more interesting remix by Lil' Jon (of Usher's Yeah! fame).
I don't know if it's because it's Sunday morning or because there's fuck all else to say about this but... NEXT!
LYM: Raspberry Swirl, Halli, straightorbroken
Hate on me much as you want to: Christian, chlamydia92, That One, Suomi, Agnetha
FEARLESS FEMALE
The #125 peak on the Hot 100 (and its '98 release date) must mean it was at the end of its run when Bllboard made that change so that non-commercially sold singles could enter the Hot 100. The same thing happened to Janet's "Every Time" which had a similar peak.
I haven't been commenting on this WORK OF ART enough.
I love myself some Sweetheart, but #50 is a fine place for it in the context of her oeuvre. That said, it's still an 8/10 but she's just THAT GOOD
On another note, I rediscovered this by accident the other night. Hot.
This will resume THIS EVENING or TOMORROW
FEARLESS FEMALE
Calling all us hignorants out for not knowing "Sweetheart" is a little HARSH.
I've since given it a few spins and can proclaim it a (kind of) STONE COLD SMASH
8/10 from me
Last edited by Christian; 29-02-2012 at 02:38 PM.
I think I actually PREFER the Rainy Davis ORIGINALÉ
But as dUb says, it's a solid moment in an EXCEPTIONAL OEUVRE
FEARLESS FEMALE
I will always have fond memories for the Sweetheart video
That scene with the motorcycle could have been the very first time I ACTUALLY CRAVED SOME BC
cat, hat; in French, chat, chapeau in Spanish, el gato in a sombrero.
Oh God, I don't know when the first time was for me
Maybe D'Angelo's Untitled video
FEARLESS FEMALE
Oh Peeps
I thought we HAD SOMETHING
But now I realise that I could NEVER SATISFY
Don't worry
It only happens every once in a while during summers Chrissy
cat, hat; in French, chat, chapeau in Spanish, el gato in a sombrero.
49. Forever
Average: 5.86
Released: 1996
Chart peak: n/a US, n/a UK
Voxious or noxious? Her vocal peak
How black is she here? A mouthful of B.C. was only a dream at this point
Look up in the dictionary: unfailingly (adv.) reliably or constantly
Best listened to... on a record player in the 1950s
One of my absolute faves. Sometimes a queen is in the mood to put on a ball-gown, throw on a screamathon ballad and LIP the SHIT out of it like his life depended on it. And THIS is UNFAILINGLY my track of choice. Now I know that some lambs aren't of the same opinion (you won't find Floella in the throes of vocstacy to this 1950s schoolgirl anthem any time soon), but in many ways, this track encapsulates everything that was so WRONG and so RIGHT about the Daydream era in one fell swoop.
I think it was Suomi who once ventured that the big ballads on Daydream say much more about Mariah's state of mind at the time than the urban-leaning uptempos that she has been rehashing ever since. Indeed, Mariah's performance on this and other ballads from the album see her in fine vocal fetter, but bitch has never sounded more BORED. In fact, if this was the album that solidified her status as the go-to artist for downtrodden housewives crying into the kitchen sink, it was because Mariah was ONE OF THEM. BELLOWING her way through Walter Afanasieff's latest schlockfest with all the emotional engagement of a 12yo chorister with Aspergers, Mariah conveys a deadness behind the eyes that even Britney Spears can't attain as she is propped up on stage by a gaggle of dancing homosexuals.
Except, of course, Mariah's apathy was filled with far more pathos. She wasn't a drugged-up shell; she was a ruthlessly ambitious, fun-loving 25 year old woman DYING to experience the fruits of her success and GAGGING for some musical B.C., which at this point she had only been allowed to experience in its most sexless of forms, in the shape of collaborations with the most unfuckable pygmy in hip-hop, Jermaine Dupri.
So I implore you to reconsider Forever in light of this. As you listen to her obliterating her own vocal chords with yet another run in full-belt, think about whether Mariah was actually any different from Whitney at this point. Trapped in a dysfunctional marriage, releasing singles that were the musical equivalent of sewing your own ankle-length skirts with material from Laura Ashley, yearning to cut loose and have some fun. No wonder it resonated with me as a 14yo queen.
Forever and ever: Raspberry Swirl, Loufoque, straightorbroken, Logic?, Suomi
Never have I ever: Pipo, Floella, Halli, Beryl, Agnetha, Steptacular, That One
Last edited by Loufoque; 02-03-2012 at 10:00 PM.
FEARLESS FEMALE
Oh, it's not really GREAT, is it? There's no denying we all love a good LIPATHON, but who in their RIGHT MIND would pick "Forever" to do it to? That whole faux 50s vibe it drips with is really QUITE DULL and the drama is dialled back to MINIMAL. And who needs a ballad with MINIMAL MELODRAMA?!
I really like "Forever" but that whole dead-eyed ballad period in the mid-90s was never her BEST MODE. Funnily enough I always assumed it was a cover, it's just that retro sounding
Oh, it totally sounds like a cover Pop!. The retro geetarr stylings of the start and leaden, plodding melody scream forgotten (for a reason) 60s b side.
Let's FACE IT, if we're going to LIP to Daydream, it doesn't get much better than the borderline-(emotionally)-hysterical "I Am Free" ("OH-HOOO-WHOAH-OH EEEEEAI-EHHHM-FUUUHREEEE!!!!!1!!!1!").
And that's before you get to the amazingness of "One Sweet Day"
Speaking of a LIPATHON
48. Through The Rain
Average: 5.93
Released: 2002
Chart peak: 81 US, 08 UK
Voxious or noxious? Her chords had taken a battering, but they weren't broken yet
How black is she here? Lightened for commercial appeal
Look up in the dictionary: steadfastly (adv.) with resolute or dutiful firmness
Best listened to... post-breakdown
If you want MELODRAMA Chrissy, HERE it is!
In the aftermath of Glitter and the subsequent termination of her Virgin contract, no one knew quite what to do with Mariah Carey. As her fellow divas faltered one-by-one, the 90s seemed like a long time ago.
But in an attempt to recapture some of the lost magic, LA Reid scrubbed her down, bleached her up, got rid of the rappers, and gave her back her music box. The result was supposed to be an empowering ballad for the ages, Hero for the post 9/11 generation if you will (NB. it's no coincidence that Mariah ambles down the streets of Manhattan for much of the video, even though it's pissing it down and there are an ABUNDANCE of cabs around - the clip is, after all, supposed to be SYMBOLIC of Mariah and Manhattan's SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP).
Of course, our favourite insomniac didn't bounce back as quickly as the CITY that never sleeps. With the drag queen hair and cheeks that looked fully stocked for HIBERNATION, she'd never looked worse. And the LIMP material didn't help matters. Indeed, to say that Through The Rain is one of the highlights on its parent album is to DAMN with the FAINTEST of PRAISE.
I do, however, have a soft spot for it, and have been known to emit a quiet squeal of enjoyment whenever it accompanies a triumphant X-Factor audition. And on the sole occasion I've heard the HQ2 remix played in a club, the Spastic Singing Hand was out in FULL-FORCE. And that's before we even GET to the video, with its fabulously heavy-handed RE-IMAGINING of Mariah's parents' courtship. I particularly like the CRUEL WHITE MOTHER who seemingly DOESN'T get invited to Mariah's triumphant dry-off in a sunflower-laden church. Maybe she died, but the moral of the story is that we're not supposed to CARE. Racist bitch.
Dry and empowered: Natalie Tauziat's Analpony, Beryl
Wet rags: Pipo, VoR
Last edited by Loufoque; 02-03-2012 at 10:34 PM.
FEARLESS FEMALE
Praise to the TOMMY M in heaven that we're still at #48
I need some INEXCUSABLE STONE COLD GAY HITS and I need them STAT!
See I don't find "Through the Rain" empowering in the slightest, it's about the dreariest she's ever been
True indeed Pop!. It's a LOADOFOLDTAT!
"Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme)" is my personal light at the end of the tunnel anthem
I don't think anyone could argue with that!
Those vocal runs were surely designed in Gay Emancipation Heaven to unequivocally separate the men from the boys.
47. Don't Forget About Us
Average: 5.93 (3x 10s)
Released: 2005
Chart peak: 01 US, 11 UK
Voxious or noxious? More nox than vox
How black is she here? White wasn't big in 05
Look up in the dictionary: trickery (noun) the practice of deception
Best listened to... if you're trying to cut back on listening to We Belong Together
As triumphant as the Emancipation era was, I've always felt that the singles didn't do the album justice. Yes, there was the opening one-two punch which set the scene perfectly, after that the quality control went out of the window as Mariah went hard for every #1 she could get her chubby hands on. Of course, when Shake It Off failed to repeat We Belong Together's success, it meant we were in for the inevitable repackage. I remember how excited the Moopy lambs were to hear the new single, which we were certain would be Mariah's next big anthem. That early signs indicated it would repeat the trick she'd pulled off a few months earlier didn't bother me much. Mariah has, time and again, demonstrated an ability to rip herself off to great effect. After all, what is Heartbreaker if not Fantasy by another name; Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme) is just Hero on the dole; and After Tonight was a package holiday Torremolinos to My All's weekend break in Barcelona.
But this time she didn't quite pull it off. Sure, Don't Forget About Us quickly scaled the top of the charts, but it went as quickly as it came, and is certainly one of her most forgotten hits.
The only saving grace for me in the fabulous video, which features Mariah trying to pull off a range of "sexy" poses: in between a set of goalposts, in the pool, on a sofa. It was the 2005 equivalent of standing in front of your bathroom mirror, trying to take your new Grindr profile pic: most of them make you look like a twat, but the odd one works. Thankfully, Mariah didn't take the opportunity to do a spread-arse shot to the camera, but you never know what made it onto the gag reel.
Don't Forget About Us Whatevar, Suomi, Natalie Tauziat's Analpony
I don't know her dUb, Pipo, Agnetha
FEARLESS FEMALE
When are my TENS and ELEVENS coming up?!
Who knew I was so in touch with popular opinion?
It's objectively terrible. But in her dribbliest era, it stands out for the mere fact that it has a TUNE.
FEARLESS FEMALE
You have one 10 coming up before we hit #40, but other than that Chrissy, you're in tune with the MASSESWhen are my TENS and ELEVENS coming up?!
Who knew I was so in touch with popular opinion?
FEARLESS FEMALE
How upsetting.
Though I think my eleven is quite out of kilt with general opinion...
But who cares. Loving the write ups Lou!
I highly approve of your 11
It's QUITE the MOMENT
FEARLESS FEMALE
A flick through iTunes reveals that LOADS of my Mimi faves were actually not singles. Which may explain a LOT...
You were so insecure
And your crew was so immature
Conversations painfully weak
You were much better off
When you didn't speak
OFFICIALLY one of the most HATED Mariah tracks of all time
I love it!
FEARLESS FEMALE
Me too! Ooh, did I do that?
Poor 'Don't Forget About Us' - in fairness she was setting herself up for an inevitable fail by trying to recreate 'We Belong Together' so soon, but I still LOVE it - it's much more of a late night slow-jam and I think it DOES have a place on 'The Emancipation Of Mimi', just perhaps not as an actual single
Judging by the latest entries anyone could say I'm a NON LAMB
hoe embarrassing
cat, hat; in French, chat, chapeau in Spanish, el gato in a sombrero.
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