Mariah Rate: THE RESULTS!

[dUb]

Do you still have that dUb?

I remember playing it to DEATH back in early 05!

I don't! The clearance bits became so ingrained into the song that the final version felt WRONG. I'm sure that's why it underperformed.

[VoR]

I wonder if it would've been as big a hit as Shake It Off if it'd been single #3? It's a vastly superior song.

[Slave]

I know 'Shake It Off' has aged horribly, but I think it was a great song to be the follow-up because it had a bit of personality, 'The Emancipation Of Mimi' was as much about the resurrection of Mariah's persona as it was her music and 'Say Somethin', whilst objectively a better song, is still fairly generic as that sort of thing goes...

[Loufoque]

TBH anything would have succeeded after WBT. But Shake It Off was the safer bet, given that it was THE sound dominating at US radio in late 05

[RaspberrySwirl]

Not a fan of the Mimmi era, but Say Something is one of the better songs.

Is there any explanation to When You Believe's poor chart performance in the US?

[Loufoque]

Must have been low airplay, as single sales were apparently quite high...

[RaspberrySwirl]

You'd think a high profile duet like that would get a lot of airplay.

[Pipo]

I always thought it was silly to release Say Somethin' AFTER The album was re-released and after Don't Forget About Us went #1 in the US (but didn't it flop in the UK?) instead of any of the new tracks, The One And Only would have been though

And then those rumours about her wanting to give Fly Like a Bird a full single release with a video and everything, wouldn't that had been like the 8th single?? You're not Katy Perry mimi!

[Loufoque]

23. H.A.T.E.U.
Average: 7.43 (9x 10s 5x 11s)
Released: 2009
Chart peak: N/A UK, N/A US



Voxious or noxious? A cut-and-paste approach to voxality if ever I heard one
How black is she here? Let's put it this way, she is NOT H.A.T.I.N.G. B.C.
Look up in the dictionary: metaphor (noun) a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable
Best listened to while… SPELLING IT OUT to your piece that you actually HATE THEM!

A lot of Moopy queens LOVE THEM THIS SONG.

I would argue that the only reason this 10/10 moment is not in the Top 15 is because it's not well-known enough outside hardcore lamb circles.

Unfortunately, the song is best remembered by non-fans for the candid shots that were taken on the set of its video.



I truly can't decide which is more fabulous.

L.I.V.E.F.O.R.I.T. dUb, straightorbroken, SDF, Polaris, Pipo
L.O.V.E.I.T. Floella, Christian, NonEvent, Suomi, Dance In The Dark, POP!, Johnkm, Whatevar, Loufoque
H.A.T.E.I.T. Halli, NTA, Agnetha, That One

[Loufoque]

I'm glad that in the battle of the Moopy poster jams (Whatevar = Breakdown, dUb = H.A.T.E.U., Loufoque = The Roof) MY JAM has TRIUMPHED

[POP!]

"Shake It Off", as much as I'm apathetic towards it, was the right choice for single #3. Radio hammered it for months, I forget what kept it from hitting #1 in the US. "Say Somethin'" is actually my second favorite single off the Mimi album, I was shattered when it got such a dismal peak on the Hot 100 but I guess the album had already sold like SIX MILLION by then so that's a decent trade-off.

And I don't think she's ever been heavier in a video than she is in "Say Somethin'" ("Auld Lang Syne" excepted because she was two months pregnant)

[Pipo]

according to Wiki it was Kanye's Gold Digger and Chris Brown's Run It

[Loufoque]

Didn't We Belong Together hold Shake It Off off the top spot?

[Whatevar]

That's only the second time I've watched the Say Somethin' video. She looks nice with straight hair.

I'm a bit indifferent to the song. I just don't think the vocal is anything special and the song is a bit ploddy for me. I prefer To The Floor

[Loufoque]

To The Floor has aged terribly

That basic Nelly sound was so of its time

[Pipo]

except it's more NEPTUNES than Nelly tbh

Lest we forget Nelly had a Top 10 single in the US/UK about a year ago

[Loufoque]

22. It's Like That
Average: 7.54
Released: 2005
Chart peak: 16 US, 4 UK



Voxious or noxious? Who needs vox when your nox sound THIS GOOD
How black is she here? I had my first taste of B.C. during the It's Like That ERA!
Look up in the dictionary: emancipation (noun) setting free, esp. from legal, social, or political restrictions
Best listened to while... relaxing your hair and putting your make-up on before a night in DRAG!

There was a quote in a recent Guardian article about the death of Whitney Houston that has stuck with me:

It's ironic she was twinned so often with fellow virtuoso Mariah Carey; though they shared rare talents, their sensibilities could not have been more different. By turns giddy and vulnerable, Carey delighted in what she could make her voice do, as excitable as a tween – not for nothing does she repeatedly call herself "eternally 12". When she endured a nervous breakdown, she rebounded by embracing her own ridiculousness; when her voice began to lose its range, she compensated with humour and sheer character.

And THIS was the moment that what we have come to know as a PERSONALITY ARTISTÉ was born. Of course, it wasn't a complete surprise. We'd seen THIS...



And THIS...



But this was the moment that Mariah came into herself. It was the moment she finally STOPPED apologising for being the person she always wanted to be: she embraced her sense of humour, she pushed her personality to the forefront of her music and became the DIVA that we know today.

Not that she WASN'T a diva before, of course. But I feel It's Like That was the first time she said to the world: you don't like it? Well FUCK YOU BITCHES, because I'm BACK and this time I AIN'T SINGING FOR YOU.

It's Like That is a ridiculous song on so many levels that it would take me days to do them all justice. Lyrically, it was the most adventurous song of her career. Sonically, it sounds like a complete MESS but if you have ever seen blacks go OFF to it in a club, you know that you can't DENY IT. And visually, the video DEFIES ANY FORM OF LOGIC. I certainly DO NOT know a single beauty expert who would recommend BLASTING A FAN IN YOUR FACE while you apply your make-up and get your hair DID but Mariah clearly did not GIVE A FUCK.

What made the video even more EMANCIPATORY was the thinly-veiled dig at Tommy. She'd spent years avoiding the issue, remaining demure and classy about the whole affair. Then all of sudden, when she had nothing else to lose, she drops the bitch bomb we'd been waiting for for years: Babes, you might be rich with a big house, but I want to hang with the BLACKS and get fucked by a HOT PIECE! And frankly, it was a story that many Mariah fans could relate to.

I like the song, but don't LOVE IT. But for me, what it represents for her career is so much more important than its musical merit. It truly was her Emancipation, and the creation of the woman I ADORE to this day.

And it's like THAT y'all.

Hot tamale: VoR, Christian, Polaris, Steptacular
Cold sick: Natalie Tauziat's Analpony

[Slave]

'It's Like That' SHOULD, by rights, have aged dreadfully along with the majority of the album, but somehow the tin-can beat still works for me, totally.

[Loufoque]

I've just watched the video again, and as a moment it's just so JOYFUL

This IS MY NIGHT

[VoR]

It's FABULOUS. I agree, her music finally matched up to her personality. It seems to have been eclipsed by the massive success of WBT, but it was a crucial record for her and its success was a major achievement considering how badly the Charmbracelet singles did.

[Slave]

Although it peaked at #16 in America, it really had a much stronger 20 week chart run than I remembered

53-36-24-20-19-20-16-16-17-19-24-30-36-27-33-45-51-53-64-66

[VoR]

Re-watching the video, I really love how everything about the way the song was presented was as if she was still at the peak of her career. These was no sense that she had actually seemed completely irrelevent in the CB era. It's effortless, fun and doesn't seem desperate it any way, whereas I think WBT might have looked a bit craven as a lead single. As Lou says, it's just: "YEAH, I'M BACK BITCHES".

[Floella]

It's Like That really was just a GREAT MOMENT.

The video premiere was the moment of realisation that this album campaign was truly going to be ON POINT and RELEVANT. Not to mention the artwork. It had seemed like Charmbracelet was her send-off to go join Diana Ross, Tina Turner et al as a CATALOGUE DIVA.

I still love the song, but it's rarely one I choose to listen to. It's a SHUFFLE DELIGHT these days.

Oh and the Morales Mix

[POP!]

You know what, I haven't listened to "It's Like That" in AGES, it really has been eclipsed by "We Belong Together" but is a grand little comeback song in its own right.

[Loufoque]

21. Someday
Average: 7.55
Released: 1991
Chart peak: 1 US, 38 UK



Voxious or noxious? SERIOUSLY VOXIOUS
How black is she here? The album version is for whites; the single version is for blacks
Look up in the dictionary: conceive (verb) form a mental representation of; imagine
Best listened to while... giving your ex-piece a KISS-OFF!

"This song is dedicated to anyone who's ever been DUMPED... by someone they love."

I LOVE SOMEDAY. It really is one of the few times Mariah really SPITS VITRIOL.

Believe me
I'm NOT pretending
It's not hard to see THIS ENDING now

There are only a few other instances in her career where she does it so well: on early album cuts Prisoner and You're So Cold and more latterly on Side Effects, Betcha Gon' Know (The Prologue) and Standing O. But this is possibly still my favourite FUCK YOU Mariah anthem.

As someone who has been WRONGED on a number of occasions by HEARTLESS MEN, I have got a LOT of mileage out of it. The song itself is a fabulously-constructed early 90s pop song, build around a pounding drum beat, a driving synth line and one of the few electric guitar solos in the MC back cat. I much prefer the angrier album version to the pared-back New Jack Swing mix, which I believe was the official video mix (although that version isn't without its charms either).

Of course, Mariah herself is not fond (according to Nick Cannon in a recent interview with Perez Hilton), probably due to the fact that neither she nor co-writer Ben Margulies were allowed to co-produce the song which was more "horn-driven" in their original arrangement. So we won't be getting a live rendition any time soon boys - not that she could handle the song anymore. Some-*whistle*daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Better than all the others: Polaris, NonEvent, straightorbroken, Suomi, Loufoque, Tyler Durden
Had it all but did NOT know: Agnetha, chlamydia92

[ameraal]

god i can't believe i will have to catch up with all of this hotness
as for someday it is the 10/10 tits
i love her delivery, she totally overdoes every single word but it still rolls off the tongue like it's precisely the way god meant it to be

[Whatevar]

Believe me
I'm NOT pretending
It's not hard to see THIS ENDING now
I thought it was "It's not hard to PRE-DICT this ending now" ?

I still like It's Like That - as Lou said, it was a true mega club hit - for once people saw her as an authentic R&B artist. The image was perfect. Shame the chorus doesn't come to much. It's all about the bridge and those gorgeous warm backing vocals on "leavin' all behind".

[Logic?]

Enjoying the countdown. Breakdown is FAR too low though.

I agree about Its Like That being an important song in her career. But I think the most important song or should I say REMIX is still to come. I'M IN HEAVEN

[Loufoque]

20. Touch My Body
Average: 7.64 (3x 10s)
Released: 2008
Chart peak: 1 US, 5 UK



Voxious or noxious? Were her vocals ever WORSE than they were here?
How black is she here? Kind of
Look up in the dictionary: YouTube (noun) a video-sharing website, created by three former PayPal employees in February 2005, on which users can upload, view and share videos
Best listened to while... having vanilla sex

It was the BEST OF TIMES; it was the WORST OF TIMES.

I don't think there's a single in MC's back catalogue that managed to be such a big success, but feel like a colossal failure.

It's all a question of context.

Mariah was coming off one of the biggest pop comebacks in pop music history. She had released the biggest song of her career, scored three US Top 3 hits, sold more albums in a year than she had in a decade, and even won over the notoriously hostile Grammy panel.

Now, perpetual pop pessimist VoR has gone to great lengths to impress on the lamb community that Mariah would have scored a massive hit with whatever she released in 2008. And to a great extent that is true.

However, Touch My Body was a hit based on more than just hype. Sure, it was accompanied by a massive promotional push, but the song itself outlasted the first week explosion. Let's not forget that it's one of the few Mariah single to CLIMB in its second week on the UK chart - quite unprecedented for a woman who had been making the most of a small but rabid fanbase for the previous eight years.

Why? Because Touch My Body was everything a throwaway pop song should be: light, fluffy and with an undeniable hook. Throw in a killer video (certainly one of the best of her career) and you have the recipe for a big fat success. I mean, when Ms ARETHA deems it worthy of covering, you know you've done something right, because as we all know MS ARETHA DON'T PLAY



This is before we get on to how utterly fabulous her promotional appearances were around the release of this single. Who can forget dUb and Whatevar QUEENING AWAY in the audience at the TRIUMPH that was the Friday Night Project?



For ONCE in her UK career, Mariah wasn't HATED. You heard people saying things like "Oh, she's actually quite nice, isn't she? Not the bitch I thought she was." Not that I WANT those braindeads LUMPED INTO the LAMBILY with me, but it was nice not to have to DEFEND the fact that you liked her for once. Such a shame she had to go and undo all that good work with her CATATONIC X-Factor appearance later on in the year.

And WHO can forget this MONUMENTAL piece of shade-throwing?



I personally want to start doing more of this on Moopy. "Floella?" *hair toss* "No. But ANYWAY *deranged smile*"

So, why then, did I start this write-up by saying that this was not only the BEST OF TIMES, but also the WORST? Well, as we know, any true Mariah fan wants ONE THING more than any other, and that thing is VOX! And this was the moment that her voice truly BOTTOMED OUT. Every single performance of the song was utterly dire. Cut+paste vox, awful breathing, the fact that she looked like she was about to SHIT HER INTESTINES every time she went for a "big" note. Horrible.

There was one saving grace, of course. THIS is how you throw down with your backing track when it uploads your real vox onto YouTube without permission:



WHAT!


Touch My Body: Christian, Dr Lecter, Pipo
I will hunt you down: funky

[straightorbroken]

Not to sound brain-dead, but I still don't hear what made her sing that line. The song was a tad tame for me, but was definitely scooped from the same flavour as her other breathless pop hits.

[Slave]

Not to sound brain-dead, but I still don't hear what made her sing that line. The song was a tad tame for me, but was definitely scooped from the same flavour as her other breathless pop hits.

I totally didn't get it either, but I don't think the first (pre-recorded) "T-uhUHuUH-uch my BODY" was supposed to drop in at that point. It wasn't immediately obvious because you can't see her face, but presumably she wasn't lipping that part at that point.

Anyway, I concur that 'Touch My Body' is a great little throwaway single; leaving the lack of vocals aside, I think it sits quite well as a modern take on something like 'Always Be My Baby' or 'Dreamlover', the main problem in the longer-term was previously for every one of tracks, there was a 'Hero', 'One Sweet Day' or 'Fantasy' to back it up and 'Touch My Body' didn't have that which ultimately seemed to harm the album past the first few big weeks. Nonetheless, I think it's great and a deserved (but somewhat unexpected in the UK at least) genuine hit.

[Christian]

Bitching about the supposed non-chorus of "It's Like That" really is missing the point ENTIRELY.

Not every chorus needs to be a key shifting, four-to-the-floor, coma inducer. This one fits the song perfectly. Sparse, stripped down and with a truly KILLER hook ("tha-tha-tha-that-I-LIKE THAT Y'ALL")

[ameraal]

true dat, chrissie

as for touch my body after being a bit underwhelmed initially i'm proud to say it's probably the 00s mariah song i go back to most often (not counting any moa!a stuff but then it was the beginning of the finger-clicking era)
i actually didn't know who kenneth was when it came out, the shame

[Christian]

Oh am, it's GOOD to have you BACK, you DEVIL

[ameraal]

always a pleasure to see you, sir

[Nathalie Tauziat's Analpony]

I loved the way that Touch My Body just seemed so gimmicky to begin with but it actually turned out to be quite the grower

[Loufoque]

It's not a classic by any means, but it IS a great little pop song

[straightorbroken]

The last two singles campaigns have proved she needs to shake it UP.

[POP!]

Neither "Touch My Body" or "Obsessed" have endured at ALL really (in a 'public consciousness' sense) but both will always be solid tunes. But then again, they ARE basically novelty records in the best way possible. "Touch My Body" is perfect for this Spring warm up we're seeing and it actually was suited for her nox at the time.

[straightorbroken]

Touch My Body and Obsessed are CHARACTER-DRIVEN (comedies).