Dinlo Did Eurovision 2000

[Penelope]

(it's Syria)

[Penelope]

(not the gay kiss, the flag)

[Dinlo]

13. Croatia: Kad Zaspu Anđeli / Ostani (?) - Goran Karan

Place in Final: 9


First Impressions:
Well this is going to have its work cut out for it to match up to the two previous Croatian entries. It's not a BAD effort. I quite like the mediterranean guitar. I like that there's plenty of DRAMA, but I think Slovenia 98 did a similar thing but better (though I'm sure some would disagree ).

The Live Perf:
I like this a lot more than I did at first. He looks like a 90s Chippendale. What's in the sack? Is this going to go 'Audition' on me? (if you understand that reference I love you forever) The sack's moving! It's so sinister. I'm having a massive 'be silent, be still' flashback! Oh it's a lady! What bizarre staging. I think this benefits majorly from a complete dearth of ballads this year. Also, I'm quite partial to a big Balkan power ballad. This isn't one of the best, but it's serviceable.

[Dinlo]

There's another gay kiss to come in the decade, and it's NOT a fan fave

Is it Dima Bilan Gay? I look forward to it, whoever it is, as long as it's either HOT or a HOT MESS.

And what did poor Syria ever do to have Israel SHAME them through the medium of pop like that?

[Dinlo]

12. Germany: Wadde Hadde Dudde Da? - Goran Karan

Place in Final: 5


First Impressions:
That title alone has me BRACED for some A-GRADE FUCKERY. Here we go *clicks play*. OMG! 25 seconds in and this is a STRUGGLE. Well at least it's funky . The chorus isn't THAT bad for what it is! The rap-like verses are of course abominations from the deepest depths of Hell. I'm really looking forward to seeing this performed. I hope it reaches Guildo levels of substance-induced balcony-climbing escapades. The end is painful .

The Live Perf:
Oh GOD here we go. Oh JESUS CHRIST! Disco cowboys? Really, Germany? Apparently Stefan was also the 'composer' for Guildo Hat Euch Lieb. I think I prefer this actually! Ooh a lit-up suit. I'm sold . Sorry Stefan, but Linda already did the 'dancers taking their tops off' thing, and she did it better. Geek reference: this reminds me of this.

[Dinlo]

11. Iceland: Tell Me! - August & Telma

Place in Final: 12


First Impressions:
Good intro. The clapping percussion is very 60s. Is that a theme this year? I like that it's very up-front with what it wants to be. There's not really any subtlety, it's all just there. This sounds like a harder-edged Same Difference, if Same Difference were quite good. I bet RB LOVES this . Well I enjoy it.

The Live Perf:
August! This is like watching an Icelandic orange-gai and his number one hag absolutely KILL it at karaoke with a routine they've been practicing in the hag's bedroom for the last 8 months, ie I'm enjoying it immensely. I particularly like the prominence of the guitar in the backing. I defy anyone to not enjoy themselves listening to this. It's the sort of thing everyone must at least LIKE, but I don't think it's quite LOVABLE.

[Penelope]

Wadde hadde dudde da is HORRIFYING

[Dinlo]

Wadde hadde dudde da is HORRIFYING

TRUE but it is at least CATCHY

[RobotBoy]

I was never a big fan of August and Telma but only because there was so much else on offer in 2000. In a worse year it could have been a relative favourite!

[Dinlo]

10. Estonia: Once in a Lifetime - Ines

Place in Final: 4


First Impressions:
The guitar is giving this a bit of a country twang. I've just spent the last two minutes trying to decide what this sounds like and now I've got it: STEPS! The backing vocals are what does it. It's basically 'Last Thing On My Mind' crossed with that Chinese one. This is starting to grow on me already, especially once it's had a chance to build up.

The Live Perf:
Well it seems Ines' stylists agree with me on the country twang. She seems a bit nervous to begin with. That is quite the camel toe she's sporting! It's a very pleasant song, even if the performance isn't as exciting as I've got accustomed to this year. I like it a lot, but I don't live for it.

[Dinlo]

I was never a big fan of August and Telma but only because there was so much else on offer in 2000. In a worse year it could have been a relative favourite!

True, it's a deadly tough year for camp pop.

[Kevin]

That's a bit surprising I think. I assume most would put Estonia in their top 5.

[Dinlo]

9. Norway: My Heart Goes Boom - Charmed

Place in Final: 11


First Impressions:
What a mission-statement of a beginning . I'm getting 60s vibes again but it's better than Austria. Did she just say she lost her popsicle? I love the 'My HEART go-oes' bit. I like how lively and joyful this is. I think I'd compare it to Sweden 99 in terms of it just blasting everything up to 11. And some VOX to finish.

The Live Perf:
I love the outfits, the choreography, the EVERYTHING already. They're a bit better than Times Three, aren't they? What an enjoyable little pop song. It's not deep and meaningful, but for what it is it's certainly fun and the performance is really very good. In a year full of bright and sparkly pop, this does well to stand out.

[Dinlo]

That's a bit surprising I think. I assume most would put Estonia in their top 5.

It's such a strong year and I'm not THAT big a fan of Steps . I'd still give it 8.5/10.

[RobotBoy]

I'm with you on Estonia. I seem to like it less than most Eurofans. It's really good, obviously, but I don't like for it. Estonia perfected the formula a couple of years later.

TOO LOW for Charmed! Those bitches were amazing.

[Dinlo]

8. Denmark: Fly On The Wings Of Love - The Olsen Brothers

Place in Final: 1


First Impressions:
I'm already acquainted with this song, mainly thanks to the cheap-ass female voiced dance version from the middle of the decade. Pan pipes! They are quite nasal, but this is a jolly little number. There's a hint of 'If You Be My Bodyguard' to the verses, which is no bad thing. The chorus is very instant, so it's easy to see why this won. God the middle-eight is vocoded to the power of CHER on this recording!

The Live Perf:
The winning perf now. They're sort of like the Danish version of Los Del Rio. The audience are lapping this up. Oh I like his little laugh there, that was a human moment. I like this more having seen the performance. I understand and entirely accept why this won, but it wouldn't be my personal choice. It does make a nice winner though.

[Dinlo]

TOO LOW for Charmed! Those bitches were amazing.

I'm afraid there was better girl group in 2000 In fact, they were '100%' better, hint hint (I'm talking about XXL).

[Kevin]

It's such a strong year and I'm not THAT big a fan of Steps . I'd still give it 8.5/10.

Steps? I never made that connection, but I'm not that familiar their songs.

[Dinlo]

7. Russia: Solo - Alsou

Place in Final: 2


First Impressions:
This is the first time I've heard a Russian entry since starting my education, and I'm curious as to what to expect. Ooh it's moody with some Kill Bill style 'waoaoao' effects. I like the big angry chorus with the amazing lyrics, including such highlights as 'when you see me in the hall, I look at the wall'. I love the 'now I WAIT..........' bit. Remember when songs used to do that? It was surely a more innocent time. I think I can with this.

The Live Perf:
She really looks like whatsername from Shameless, doesn't she? I love the bit of balalayka, it gives a nice little Russian infusion. This one confused me to begin with. Like Iceland last year, I found it hard to pick out why it did so well compared to numerous other similarly-themed songs. Iceland had the choreography. I think this one just has a touch of moodiness to propel it above the others. I can't with the lyrics, but the overall SOUND is great.

[Kevin]

I don't like Denmark. I prefer the other 4 songs in the top 5.

[Kevin]

It's really close with Estonia, but Russia is my favourite.

[Dinlo]

Steps? I never made that connection, but I'm not that familiar their songs.

Kevin, you don't actually read what I write about the songs, do you? It's okay, I wouldn't if I had an actual life.

Were Steps not big in Flanders? I could imagine the Dutch LOVING 5, 6, 7, 8!

[Dinlo]

It's top 6 time!

*tumbleweed*

My picks from 6 to 4 are all 10/10 musical perfection moments. [Warning: you may not agree with the previous sentiment ]

[Dinlo]

6. Netherlands: No Goodbyes - Linda Wagenmakers

Place in Final: 13

First Impressions:
The beginning shows promise, I'm just waiting for the inevitable dance beat to kick in. Oh, there it is! Oh Eurovision, I know you so well! I like the little twangs of Spanish guitar that crop up here and there. I quite like this! Better than last year's Dutch entry, definitely.

The Live Perf:
OMG! I've just had to pause it to take in the majesty of her ensemble. I'm getting hints of Croatia 98 mixed with a bullseye sweet. I look forward to her shrugging it off and doing a Danijela. Okay, I've recovered, let's resume. !! There were people under there?! Fabulous! Her outfit is wonderful, I keep expecting to see a small animal tangled in it, or possibly one of the dancers. Shirtless men! The audience like that! Well I enjoyed that immensely. The song was growing on me already, but that performance has just cemented my love for it. The Low Countries used to be great at Eurovision. What went wrong?

Also, I would like to contest Kevin's assertion that Edsilia was the last great Dutch entry, because Linda begs to differ

[Madison]

Far too high for Russia

[Kevin]

Kevin, you don't actually read what I write about the songs, do you? It's okay, I wouldn't if I had an actual life.

Were Steps not big in Flanders? I could imagine the Dutch LOVING 5, 6, 7, 8!

I do most of the time They had 3 hits here, 5, 6, 7, 8, Last Thing On My Mind and Tragedy, but none of them reached the top 10. My mum LOVED the first 2 and my sister wanted to learn the dance steps to LTOMM.

[Dinlo]

5. Cyprus: Nomiza - Voice

Place in Final: 21

First Impressions:
DRAMA and DRUMS to start with. It's quite brooding to begin with. Oh, is it a woman singing? Is she Toni Braxton or something? Oh no it's both. The build up is alright. And now there's a choir, which I always approve of. That's quite a finishing note! Interested to see how that holds up in the live performance. I think this is a song where the performance will dictate whether I CAN with the song or not.

The Live Perf:
Oh dear at those outfits! And the dancing I really like this now. Vocally, they're pretty much on point although they could do with some more volume for the lady. This has grown on me loads. It's really crept up on me, I never thought this would end up being one of my favourites. I love how dramatic it is. They deserved to do much better, and I think they would have finished a few slots higher without some of the questionable wardrobe and choreography decisions mentioned earlier on. I love how it all builds into such DRAMA. Love it.

[Dinlo]

I do most of the time They had 3 hits here, 5, 6, 7, 8, Last Thing On My Mind and Tragedy, but none of them reached the top 10. My mum LOVED the first 2 and my sister wanted to learn the dance steps to LTOMM.

No Dutch love for One For Sorrow? It's their second most essential tune!

[Madison]

There's another gay kiss to come in the decade, and it's NOT a fan fave

Who?

[Kevin]

I love Linda shaking her boobs at 03:00. She was so sure she would win she even brought a red-white-blue dress for the final performance. No one apart from the die hard fans (gays) saw her fail though because of the firework disaster. A friend of mine was so angry when they stopped the broadcast here that he called his mother to shout at her

[Kevin]

No Dutch love for One For Sorrow? It's their second most essential tune!

Oh, that one did reach the top 40 as well. 24 to be exact.

[Dinlo]

4. Malta: Desire - Claudette Pace

Place in Final: 8

First Impressions:
Ooh this gets funky. Wasn't expecting that! This is NICE, it's genuinely putting a smile on my face. It's got hints of 'Kia-Ora advert' crossed with 'carnival at EuroDisney', but that's no bad thing. I hope this didn't FLOP for Malta. I'm off to do a one-man conga line round my bedroom.

The Live Perf:
I'm looking forward to this! Slightly disappointed she's not in a coconut bra and grass skirt, TBH. Oh but she's got the moves! This hot bitch doesn't need a tropical wardrobe, she's bringing the tropics to Sweden through the medium of elegant dance! I love how she's really selling this. I'm BUYING IT, Claudette. Chiara didn't blow a kiss, therefore Claudette is my favourite large Maltese lady ever (for now). What a joyful song this is.

FAIYAH!

[Madison]

Good to see "Nomiza" high. It's one of those songs, along with "Genesis", that I forget how much I like until I see the show again.

[Madison]

Have we heard Maltese in another any entry since Malta's return to the contest?

[Dinlo]

I love Linda shaking her boobs at 03:00. She was so sure she would win she even brought a red-white-blue dress for the final performance. No one apart from the die hard fans (gays) saw her fail though because of the firework disaster. A friend of mine was so angry when they stopped the broadcast here that he called his mother to shout at her

Everything in this post is ! Even the firework disaster at least must have been quite a SHOW (I'm sure it was terrible and very sad )

[Kevin]

Is it true Claudette is some sort of media tycoon with her own network? I think our commentator said something like that.

[Agnetha]

I remember this contest. I took LSD after the show (I know, I know). My friend decided it was a good idea to take me to a church service next morning. "And we pray for the victims of the Dutch fireworks disaster". Very confusing.

[Dinlo]

There shall be an interlude for the Moderator results, but then it's the top 3 which are all 11/10 tracks of LIFE!

[Kevin]

Everything in this post is ! Even the firework disaster at least must have been quite a SHOW (I'm sure it was terrible and very sad )

It was years later I found out there were quite a few people killed. It blew up an entire neighbourhood but somehow it didn't cross my mind that would mean people would die. I was probably more upset with Denmark winning

[Andricicle]

There's another gay kiss to come in the decade, and it's NOT a fan fave

I know one of Sjonni's Friends (almost typed Sjonni's People ) gave another one a peck on the cheek in Oh Eleven, but that wasn't in the noughties, so I too am at a loss which one you mean.