Katy (PopLife) does Eurovision 2003!

[PopLife]

So - listened to the CD twice and am watching the perfs atm. Will post some quite juicy reviews when I make up my mind on what I actually think about all songs and rank them properly. Will add quotes from the May 2003 edition of Swedish gay mag QX, because they are hillarious!

Will review the whole thing by the performance order.

Stay tuned!

[Tinu]

I watched this Eurovision on tape the day after. My family mostly went out on Eurovision nights, so I didn't see the whole show the night itself.
I was blown away by Sertab, watched her performance like 10 times before continuing with the show.

The strangest moment was when I wanted her to win and not Belgium. I felt like a traitor.

[VoR]

An EXCELLENT year. I think I wanted Belgium to win but I loved both so I wasn't too bothered.

[Kevin]

Possibly my favourite year ever. So many great songs. Was SHOCKED that Belgium finished second though.

[VoR]

It was very distinctive and they were near the end. Sertab actually did REALLY well to win from such a poor draw. The "Turkey farting their way into the top 10" element didn't seem to really take off until about 2007.

[Kevin]

I just hate the song and the act. I fully expected them to finish in the bottom 5.

[Penelope]

Oh Sertab's performance was ON ANOTHER LEVEL It sounded like a winner after just five seconds.

(Of course being young, patriotic and naive at the time I thought Jemini were going to win )

[VoR]

I just hate the song and the act. I fully expected them to finish in the bottom 5.

I'm a sucker for a bit of NEW AGE SHITE

[PopLife]

OK, let's go:

Iceland - Birgitta - Open Your Heart

It's basically something Hilary Duff, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift or Demi Lovato would kill to sing. And I freaking. Fucking. LOVE IT! It just feels totally right, ya know? It's a pop-rock song, extremely sweet and uplifting, it puts me in a good mood every time and Birgitta Haukdal was at the time the absolute pop queen on Iceland and her former band Írafár had a string of hits the year before (Ég sjálf, Allt sem ég sé,..) and had a huge fanbase mainly consisting of children and younger teenagers. And of course Birgitta won Songvakeppni sjorvanpsins (with the Icelandic version, entitled "Segdu mer allt!) and went to ESC - and she just rocked that stage! She was so cute so one could eat her up, basically! That girl-next-door look, the warm, friendly face and the flower in her hair - one just HAS TO love her! She oozed star quality and likeability on stage and had she been drawn to perform at the later spot she could have been in the running for victory, I think. One of the best openers of the contest and a song which deserved more than it got!

TRIVIA: The song was produced in Stockholm, Sweden.

IN 2012: This would have done as good as it did back then, maybe even better as I think the juries would have fallen for this like mad - and I wouldn't say no to that at all!

QX: Birgitta seems really sympathetic, like a kindergarten teacher from Bromölla with a little Geri Haliwell-touch. OK pop song with nice "roxette-strings"

Studio version: 10/10
Live perf: 9(strong)/10

Actual result: Shared 8th/81 points
My rank: My no.2 of the year

[PopLife]

2. Austria - Alf Poier - Weil der Mensch zählt

OK, here we come to the absolute mindfuck of the year! When I first saw it, I was like O_O?! - the shock was even bigger when this finished 6th. The nu-metal break inbetween make the whole thing even more schizophrenic. The lyrics I don't even - they are in an Austrian dialect btw - and I don't know what to think about them. The perf then - the paper animals (apparently they wanted real animals on stage, but got a no from EBU). I just can't decide whether this is pure genius or an absolute disgrace to appear on ESC-stage. I have to freaking clue, really. Let's just say that this made the way for even weirder and bizarre acts in ESC - not sure if I like it, though.

IN 2012: This would have failed to qualify nowadays. We have more countries and this wouldn't stand out at all - and probabbly got killed by the juries.

QX: Who has voted in Austria? Mentally disabled 12 year-olds? The disaster of the year doesn't come from Germany this year!

Studio version and Live perf: I don't even/10

Actual result: 6th, 101 points
My ranking: In bottom 10, I think...I guess.

[Kalabaliken]

LOVED Birgitta - I do think performing first hindered her, and she would have done much better with a later draw, but 8th is still their second best result in the last 10 years, I think...

[Penelope]

I think Birgitta could've gone into contention for Iceland with a really favourable draw.

[PopLife]

Ireland - Mickey Harte - We've Got The World

Hah, the Irish were lucky that year. Because to rip off Olsen Brothers' "Fly On The Wings Of Love" that obviously and not get your ass sued by the Olsens is quite an achievement. This is so FOTWOL so one can only laugh out loud. It has its appeal and charm for sure and I somehow quite like it, also think it was well performed, but it's soo lame at the same time! Apparently Mickey Harte wanted to sing his own song, but You're A Star producers made him sing FOTWOL 2.0.

In 2012: This would have been a borderline qualifier nowadays. Probabbly liked by the televoters, but butchered by the juries.

QX: (Edward Af Silen): Does Ireland ever surprise with their song-selection? Or make anyone under the age of 50 happy? Exactly...

Studio version: 7.5/10
Live perf: 8/10

Actual result: 11th, 53 points
My ranking: 15th

[RobotBoy]

Sertab's performance was visually amazing but THE VOCALS.

Painful.

[RobotBoy]

Birgitta's one I've always liked but I can't get very excited about it to be honest. I never understood the fan fuss over it. It's very nice though, and really well sung.

[PopLife]

Turkey - Sertab - Everyway That I Can

What a killer tune! Swedish papers were bitching about it resembling "Simarik" by Tarkan, but let's ignore them for a while, shall we? I love this! This became one of the critics' favourites prior to the contest and after the contest it became a pan-European summerhit! Of course one can't overlook the fact that Sertab's vocals were well dodgy on the night, but she compensated with an AMAZING charisma and star quality. It was like with Dana International or Lena. Already at the beginning they all were like: "Here I am, bitches - take it or leave it!" and THAT's what goes REALLY well chez moi.

In 2012: I think this might have won nowadays as well. I think televoters would eat this up and the juries would see the hit potential.

QX: I love this! Little Ofra Haza, little Tarkan, cool girl, nice rhythms. If there's any justice in the world she will win by a landslide and take the contest to Istanbul next year! (Hmmm)

Studio version (the ESC album version): 6/10 (I hate it!)
Studio version (the No Boundaries album version): 10/10
Live perf: 8.5/10

Actual result: 1st, 167 p
My ranking: 3rd

[Kevin]

That album version intro is crap. These first 10 seconds are amazing.

[Apocalypt_flyer]

I remember watching it at the time, totally overlooking the DRAB ALBUM VERSION but on the evening we all just KNEW Sertab had it in the BAG once the beat kicked in after the opening 5 seconds. DESERVEDLY SO.

And I agree Turkey farted their way into the Top10 in 2007, 2009 and 2012 but "Deli" was AMAZING and Manga had a brilliant intro and their silver medal made all the sense in the world.

[RobotBoy]

And I agree Turkey farted their way into the Top10 in 2007, 2009 and 2012 but "Deli" was AMAZING and Manga had a brilliant intro and their silver medal made all the sense in the world.

The sense of inevitability takes the shine off those songs doing well though.

[Penelope]

Oh Turkey totally did NOT fart their way into the top ten this year! Whatever you think of Love Me Back it's not exactly in the realms of the standard by-numbers Turkish entries, and the performance was a proper moment.

[RobotBoy]

Love Me Back was AWFUL. One of their absolute worst IMO.

[Apocalypt_flyer]

Love Me Back was DREADFUL indeed. It was performed well but it DOESN'T MAKE THE SONG ANY BETTER.

[PopLife]

Malta - Lynn Chircop - To Dream Again

"OK, so we came 2nd this year, let's send the same formula next year, shall we?" "Deal. But we must not win, so let's take everything that was good with "7th Wonder" away!". What sums up this up. This is so typically Maltese it hurts! So cliched, cheesy and outdated it's funny! That Lynn Chircop has ZERO star quality and charisma doesn't make things better at all. Plus it was drawn after Sertab - instant fail. Nope, Malta could do much better.

In 2012: This would be lucky not to come last in its semi.

QX: She can neither sing, nor dance. Lena Ph seems to have made the outfit and one just wants to go to bed. The only thing where some energy was put into are the hair extensions.

Studio version: 5.5/10
Live perf: 6/10

Actual result: 25th, 4 p
My ranking: Bottom 3

[Kevin]

I prefer To Dream Again to 7th Wonder.

[Kevin]

Has it ever happened before that the top 3 (Latvia, Malta and the UK) finished in the bottom 3 the next year?

[PopLife]

Has it ever happened before that the top 3 (Latvia, Malta and the UK) finished in the bottom 3 the next year?

I doubt it. But it has happened that one country made top 3 one year (Denmark 2001, Norway 1996) and finished last the year after.

[VoR]

Love Me Back is absolutely a case of farting your way into the top ten. If the UK or Malta sent it it'd come DEAD LAST.

[PopLife]

Bosnia & Herzegovina - Mija Martini - Ne brini

Oh this is pleasant! It reminds me on Croatian dance group Karma's music, very Balkan eurodance-ish. Those 3 keychanges aren't out of place either, but the perf is ridiculous! Mija has a "killer" look, pretty similar to Carola actually, she could sing, but the styling is just...EUGH! Whoever thought that ripping some old curtains off Mija's grandma's home and adding some strings to it would make a nice outfit MUST be living on Mars, probabbly. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! A perfect example how a styling can kill a good song.

In 2012: It would have qualified (thanks to the diasporas), but crashed and burned in the final.

QX: Success! Why should I complain when the chorus gets stuck in one's head, the artist seems fun and the song has 3 keychanges? A Gala night in gay clubs!

Studio version (the fully English): 7/10
Live perf: 6/10

Actual results: 16th, 27 p
My ranking: 14th

[PopLife]

OK, let's continue, it's just that there are some tracks now, which are plain appalling! Let's go!

Portugal - Rita Guerra - Deixa-me Sonhar

Oh gosh - OK, I KNOW many fans love this, but I REALLY don't see the appeal. It's a 90s Disney ballad with all the cliches you can think of. So predictable and live it got even worse - not because of Rita's vocals (which were spot on), but because of English! When in Portugese, this song at least had a tiny bit of distinctiveness and mistery, in English it just came across as empty, cheesy and so, so, predictable! It was the start of an era, when Portugal just didn't get ESC - until Vania Fernandes, it is. So all in all - a no-no here.

In 2012: This would have been stuck in the semi. If Filipa Sousa couldn't qualify, then Rita wouldn't either....but then again Evelina Sašenko and Filipa Azevedo qualified, so what do I know?

QX:Never in its history has Portugal been close of winning - and they will not win this year either. I have socks with more charisma than this woman here!

Studio version (fully Portugese): 7.5/10
Live perf: 7/10

Actual result: 22nd / 13 p
My ranking: 20th

[PopLife]

C'mon Katy - u just got that Croatian mess and Cypriot disaster left - and then LOU! Hold on!

[RobotBoy]

Looking back, this wasn't a classic year for me...

[Andricicle]

Who has voted in Austria? Mentally disabled 12 year-olds?

Funny that, since Austria sent two of those to Eurovision this year!

If "Weil der Mensch zählt" were in a language that I have absolutely no notion of, I'd probably hate its guts but I actually do appreciate some of the witticisms in the German lyrics. And the chorus is probably the catchiest one of this year altogether! It certainly still gets stuck in my brain the most (particularly the "und die Frau HOLLE..." hook).

[Dinlo]

Looking back, this wasn't a classic year for me...

Don't take away the light from the end of my tunnel

[Penelope]

2003 is a brilliant year! Only a couple of duds really.

[Madison]

Agreed. Easily one of my favourites.

[David_5000]

It's between this and 2008 for my favourite year ever. And I know I drone on about staging but that stage was awesome - not too big, not too small, some video elements without being OTT, interesting architecture too.

[PopLife]

Croatia - Claudia Beni - Više nisam tvoja

Well the song's not THAT bad - like a pastiche on many different pop songs that were successful some years earlier - primarly by Britney - and she actually CAN sing, but still the perf is a mess. Nothing wrong with her vocals, they were fine, but the clothes (she looked like a bird on stage) were a big no-no and the dance moves were just plain awkward. Andrej Babić, the cheeky blonde right behind Claudia on stage, made much better songs afterwards (Senhora do mar, Cvet z juga, even Call Me was good in a total camp hot mess kind of way) and unfortunately this entry was the beginning of a total downfall of an ESC-nation, which was SO strong in the 90s. Shame.

In 2012: I think this would fail to qualify nowadays. A perf like this would be considered trash and I think televoters would vote this off (she would get some support from the juries mainly because of her vocals) and it would finish 11th-13th in it's semi.

QX: Oops I copied again - the Eastern Max Martin makes his way! And we can sing, we can dance, but we cannot win


Studio version: 8/10
Live perf: 7.5/10

Actual result: 15th, 29 p
My ranking: #16

[Kevin]

I love that one.

[PopLife]

Cyprus - Stelios Konstantas - Feeling Alive

Oh good god. I mean, it's understandable that someone wants to make a song in Bosson "One In a Million remix" style, after all Bosson's song was a worldwide hit, but seriously this is SO. FUCKING. HIDEOUS! Really - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! So cliched, so uninspiring, so - IRRITATING really! The live perf's a disaster as well, I mean the guy has NO presence, NO charisma, WEAK vocals, NO star quality and hideous clothes! The only good thing are the background colours, blue and turqoise make a nice, summery feeling. And that's all. Ew!

In 2012: I think this would fail to qualify - thankfully.

QX: A tan and a Cypriot latino-light. Wants to be everything - but ends up being nothing. Except embarassing live, I suspect.

Studio version: 6.5/10
Live perf: 6/10

Actual result: 20th, 15 p
My ranking: #23

[David_5000]

I liked Feeling Alive