2020 Democratic Primaries

Discussion in 'Current Affairs & Debate' started by Mugatu, Oct 30, 2018.

  1. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    [​IMG]

    I'll fill in this post with candidates and other shit (mainly lame jokes and memes about chilling in Cedar Rapids) as we go on.

    THEY'RE RUNNING

    John Delaney - Representative from Maryland, total no-hoper - campaign


    Andrew Yang - Weird libertarian tech bro candidate, supports universal basic income and human fusion with Skynet, no-hoper - campaign

    Tulsi Gabbard - Representative from Hawaii, bizarre mix of good and absolute dogshit foreign policy, leftist-ish, will definitely not win - campaign

    Julian Castro - Former Housing and Urban Development Secretary under Obama, estranged son of Fidel, will definitely not win - campaign


    Kirsten Gillibrand - Senator from New York, former right-wing Democrat turned ok-ish generic liberal, "as a mother" candidate, will probably not win - campaign

    Kamala Harris - Senator from California, current mainstream Democrat favourite, somehow listened to Tupac in the mid-1980s while smoking weed, is a cop, one of the main contenders - campaign

    Pete Buttigieg - Mayor of South Bend, who?, first gay to run for President (apart from Sam Smith), another no-hoper - campaign

    Marianne Williamson - Spiritual guru, author, pro-Green New Deal and Medicare for All, believes in the healing power of the crystal skulls, no-hoper but good - campaign

    Cory Booker - Senator from New Jersey, bloviating Aaron Sorkin speeches, charter school enthusiast, has a girlfriend, not a serious threat but big donors could keep him around a while - campaign

    Elizabeth Warren - Senator from Massachusetts, good on banking regulations and supports a wealth tax, 1/64th Native American, does not have a racist artifact in her kitchen, one of the current main contenders - campaign

    Amy Klobuchar - Senator from Minnesota, moderate centrist/tyrant, threw a binder at her assistant and made an aide shave her legs, oddly beloved by dipshit journalists on Twitter, probably won't win - campaign

    Garfield - Cat, loves lasagna, popular with niche online fetish communities - campaign

    Bernie Sanders - Senator from Vermont, democratic socialist, pro-Medicare for All, free college and Green New Deal, would have won, one of the main contenders - campaign

    Jay Inslee - Governor of Washington, running almost completely on climate change, definitely won't win - campaign

    John Hickenlooper - Former Governor of Colorado, an "extreme moderate" whatever the fuck that means, silly name, definitely won't win - campaign

    Robert "Beto" O'Rourke - Former Representative from Texas, better than Ted Cruz but awful voting record, white Obama vibe, openly wears a Pod Save America t-shirt, makes you cum until your calves cramp, possible contender - campaign

    THEY'RE (MAYBE) RUNNING


    Stacey Abrams - Former Democratic nominee for Governor of Georgia, delivered State of the Union response in 2019, lost incredibly rigged governor's race, possible VP candidate for some of the bigger names

    Joe Biden - Vice President under Obama and former Senator from Delaware, blatantly corrupt Third Way Democrat, challenged Trump to a weird old man fight, hates the damn lazy millennials, will almost definitely get Me Too-ed, currently leading polls

    Michael Bloomberg - Former Mayor of New York City, massively out-of-touch billionaire, would be one of the most amusing wastes of money in history

    Sherrod Brown - Senator from Ohio, fairly progressive voting record but tacking way too hard to the centre lately, Medicare for All is "too unrealistic", not a likely winner but could split working-class primary vote if he runs

    Hillary Clinton - 2016 Democratic nominee, only lost the election because her controller was broken [​IMG]

    Andrew Gillum - Former Democratic nominee for Governor of Florida, also lost a dodgy election, progressive Medicare for All supporter turned Hillary-backed centrist


    Seth Moulton - Representative from Massachusetts, hopes to become the "national security candidate", believes Nancy Pelosi is a left-wing extremist
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2019 at 3:47 PM
  2. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    Only one woman can save us. Pokemon Go 2 The Polls: It's Still Her Turn.

    (I can't wait to see how this turns out, it would be hilarious if Hillary ran again and totally bombed in the primaries, or even better splits the veteran centrist Democrat vote with Joe Biden)

     
  3. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    Looks like this is the first post-midterm (S)HE'S RUNNING announcement. Shape up for some more in the next few months, including Hillary, according to the chief strategist of her disastrous 2008 campaign :bruised:.

    He obviously won't win, I've barely even heard of him, but he's got some good populist credentials and an aggressively working-class message. Downsides - despite the biggest swing of the entire midterms, he didn't win his race (admittedly in West Virginia), he voted for Trump in 2016 and he's pro-coal on jobs grounds.

     
  4. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    Guess which 2020 Democratic hopeful has hired Hillary's campaign people?

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    It looks like she’s just arisen from a coffin
     
  6. Mats

    Mats User

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    good old Bernie has announced he'll have another go :disco:
     
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  7. COB

    COB Hog Frenzy

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    Fingers crossed AOC endorses him and a few liberal heads explode :disco:
     
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  8. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    It's Bernie bitch :disco:

    Watching most of the rest of the field launch their campaigns with no real vision then reading this list honestly fills me with confidence. He's going to win.

     
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  9. jivafox

    jivafox Stay sexy don’t get murdered

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    I wish he WOULD.
     
  10. dmlaw

    dmlaw Democracy doesn't work

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    Now that is a very nice little list of policies from Bernie, with a slight question mark against the lower drug prices one, where I'd need a little more information on what he has in mind.
     
  11. KindaCool

    KindaCool KayCee

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    He'll never get in. America is too stubborn to vote for someone like him.
     
  12. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    I assumed he'll stick to the plan he introduced in January - peg the ridiculously expensive US prices to the average costs in the most economically developed countries and allow people to import cheaper drugs from abroad. He supports Elizabeth Warren's proposal for a federal generic drug manufacturer too.
     
  13. SDF

    SDF The Wait is Over

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    I love Bernie, but yes I'm not sure I share the optimism that he'll be selected (never mind win)
     
  14. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    I'm suspicious about how the Democratic leadership and the corporate media are going to treat him but he's literally the most popular politician in America. His ideas are well-liked even by Republicans, young people absolutely love him and like Trump, he correctly recognises that most people hate bloodless establishment politics.

    The insane people on Twitter who all want to speak to Bernie's manager really aren't reflective of his wider reputation.

    https://www.currentaffairs.org/2019/02/there-is-still-only-one-clear-way-to-get-rid-of-trump
     
  15. Ag

    Ag User

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    Can we start a new topic for the Democratic nomination process please? @Mugatu @octophone @VoR or another mod?
     
  16. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    Good idea. I'll comb through the thread and find when we started talking about it.
     
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  17. KindaCool

    KindaCool KayCee

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    Ojeda looks somewhat promising. Although at this point I'll take Spongebob Squarepants.

    Fuck off Hillary.
     
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  18. COB

    COB Hog Frenzy

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    He's dropped out already :o
     
  19. COB

    COB Hog Frenzy

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    (Ojeda, not Spongebob)
     
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  20. SDF

    SDF The Wait is Over

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    Hillary standing will only lead to the same result as last time. Heartache :(
     
  21. dmlaw

    dmlaw Democracy doesn't work

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    Surely the primary voters wouldn't be stupid enough to go for Hillary again. If we really must have a centrist, surely someone who hasn't already lost once would be a base requirement.
     
  22. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    I don't really think she's going to run, there are way too many people in the race already, but she hasn't outright denied it yet so I put her on the list.

    The biggest sign is that other candidates are now slowly picking up the campaign staff that inspired "Hillary is your abuela!" and famously led her to the presidency. It would definitely be hilarious watching her navigate a third failed run but she'll probably endorse Kamala Harris.
     
  23. Ag

    Ag User

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    Of course Hillary won't run. Is there any precedent for a failed candidate running again?

    Kamala and Bernie are both appealing candidates.
     
  24. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    If you mean a failed presidential candidate, then Nixon lost as the Republican nominee to JFK in 1960 but won the election in 1968.

    There was talk of the haunted tree man John Kerry running again in 2020 but thankfully that was a while ago. He would be the most physically flexible candidate.

    [​IMG]
     
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  25. KindaCool

    KindaCool KayCee

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    Kanye West?
    Lindsay Lohan?
     
  26. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    Kanye will be the Republican nominee in 2024. Lindsay has defected to Türkiye and will be groomed by Erdoğan as the next leader of AKP إن شاء الله‎
     
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  27. KindaCool

    KindaCool KayCee

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    I'm running.
     
  28. FetchFugly

    FetchFugly closing in again

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    I thought the no-hoper gay mayor of nowheresville seemed quite pleasant when I saw him interviewed on Beyond 100 Days, though I guess him doing interviews for the BBC news channel kind of hits home his also ran status.
     
  29. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    Amy Klobuchar's tyrannical reign over her staff has been one my favourite stories of the campaign so far but I never expected furiously eating a salad with a used comb to be the next turn in the tale:

     
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  30. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    It's officially not happening.

    The world has been robbed of an entire year of Hillary dabbing, playing Fortnite with Ninja and streaming occult child sacrifices from her kitchen on Twitch.

     
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  31. COB

    COB Hog Frenzy

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    Not our ever-humble slay queen :cry: Cedar Rapids breathes a sigh of relief.
     
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  32. Penelope

    Penelope FYFFES FOR ALL

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    I think he's going to win (and he would be the best choice policy-wise) but he hasn't been the most popular politician in America for a while. Dentists Republicans hate him!
     
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  33. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    I'll have to email Putin about updating my script, I've been using that line since 2017 :(

    It'll be interesting to see how he copes as the front-runner (there's no way Biden will last under proper scrutiny) but I'm pretty confident he's the best option for the states the Democrats need to win. He seems to be the only one who isn't wavering on Medicare for All, there's been a lot of weasel words lately.
     
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  34. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    I missed someone off the list!

    From what I first read, I was expecting "spiritual guru and author" Marianne Williamson to summon the power of the healing crystals in her campaign but her policy positions are unexpectedly quite good. She's obviously a no-hoper but it's nice to see more people agreeing with this stuff.

     
  35. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    Beto is probably running:

     
  36. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    Americans have such weird names. I thought it was just actors and actresses but it seems that they’re at least the ones with the GOOD weird names
     
  37. Penelope

    Penelope FYFFES FOR ALL

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    Beto is going to bring the race to life and I wouldn't be shocked if it ends up as Bernie vs him vs Kamala after the first month. Bernie's going to have a lot of hype off the early states (he's got a good chance of winning Iowa and New Hampshire), it's just a matter of whether he can carry that into the South, which really pulverised him last time.
     
  38. Penelope

    Penelope FYFFES FOR ALL

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    Medicare for All is popular in principle, but difficult to get support for in practice - it hasn't even passed in Vermont! Colorado also had a referendum on universal healthcare in 2016 which saw it rejected 80-20. Granted, things have moved on a bit since then, but really, only a bit...
     
  39. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    I don't think the 80-20 result in Colorado is as reflective anymore. The healthcare debate has definitely moved to the left since 2016 and even then, it was an especially poorly-written amendment that inadvertently removed access to abortion in the state.

    And Vermont is a very small place! It didn't work out there in 2014 because of the increased tax burden on local businesses. A more widely-funded system like Bernie proposes would be different, it would spread out that potential strain. That's why MFA is now supported across the divide in the state.

    Yeah, the legislation needs to be bulletproof but it's not the distant fantasy that defeatists like Klobuchar say it is. Even a right-wing libertarian think tank found that MFA would save $2trillion over 10 years. It would require a big restructuring of the economy but all of the most necessary stuff does.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2019
  40. Mugatu

    Mugatu Fired 4 Truth

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    Inslee IN! Hickenlooper IN! Bloomberg OUT!

    There are now a ridiculous 14 candidates in the race, plus inevitably Joe Biden and Beto when they announce. They're going to have to put some of the debate podiums backstage or in the toilets.
     

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