Discussion in 'Moopy Lists' started by Jark, May 14, 2019.
Time to hit reset on this binch.
Just for the lols I looked at how many of the 5 Jark listicles in the similar threads I actually completed. The answer is zero I'm surprised I even got as far as #65 in Jark's top 111 of '09.
This one, however, will be finished. We're quite sure of that.
We already knew that. I think one chart stopped just before the #1 reveal.
I bet this one won't even get started.
@Jark = the cocktease of pop countdowns
SO... the list has been assembled, I'm still toying with the order because I don't want to birth this thing until it's really ready for the world and vice versa, but it's coming much sooner than you'd imagine, and certainly before the new MKS album (although Keisha might have something to say about that).
...and I imagine everybody will be equal parts shocked and thrilled to learn that it has been UPGRADED to a TOP 100... PLUS a top 10 ALBUMS of the decade TO DATE! Thank me later!
Televised opening ceremony plz
It's good to have goals I guess.
I'm starting to get really excited for this.
A punctual one month after exclusively revealing that this will be a top 100, I'm thrilled to announce that it is beginning TONIGHT! once I hit 100k retweets!
Oh QUIT SPAMMING.
before we kick off, here's some HOT TRIVIA regarding the countdown ahead from the Jarkette book of stats:
-including featured acts, there are a total of 76 artists in the list
-8 of the songs in the list were #1 in the US or UK
-the most featured artist appears 5 times
-2 of the acts who achieved a top 10 placing have only one song on the list; the rest have multiple
-21 songs are credited as belonging to a male singer/act
-63 of these songs did not chart on the Hot 100
in terms of RULES, the only criteria was that every song must have been first released between 2010 and 2017 (or on an album in 2009 if a single release happened in 2010).
Here's an incredible song that didn't make it. Or, more accurately, did, until I realised 30 minutes ago I'd forgotten a significantly more incredible song.
Sorry Ryan Tedder. I still love Kids and its enormous post-chorus.
I hope all those stats are wrong, but we'll never know.
100. Nicki Minaj 'Va Va Voom'
Va Va Voom opened the infamous previous edition of this countdown at #50, and it has taken quite a tumble - truthfully I overrated it then and in the light of Nicki's spectacular fall from grace these past 18 months, I've probably given her no more than about 10 plays this year. But this remains a ludicrous and brilliant slice of trashy EDM (original write-up here).
99. Nick Jonas 'Jealous'
Original write-up (#43 last time): Jealous is fucking brilliant. The verses are short and relatively nothingy, and nobody in the studio could be fucked writing a bridge, presumably because everybody recognised that the chorus must be reached as swiftly as possible, on account of the fact that it GOES OFF! The original is great but for me the Tinashe remix tops it - but neither quite matches the FUCKING RIDICULOUS Rooftop Boys remix (with the repeated vocal refrain of "fuck me! fuck me!" - was his bottom status ever in doubt?) which is basically a Cahill remix riding the wave of a particularly good pill for four and a half minutes. Truly poppers o' clock.
Nick Jonas may be a questionable popstar, and we may never get another Jealous. But if he spunks away all his money on sultry R&B gems at least there's a chance he'll turn up on Sean Cody in a few years.
98. Carly Rae Jepsen 'Call Me Maybe'
Yes, after creating one of the most celebrated pop albums of the decade, and then possibly even eclipsing it with the follow-up, putting Call Me Maybe in this list may feel a choice - the kind of choice somebody would only make if they'd never heard Emotion or Dedicated, ie. 100% of straight people. I am 100% gay but still I have a lot of time for this, her most straightforwardly sweet bubblegum pop song. It's just ridiculously well written, infectious from the second the beat kicks in, and sports more hooks than a pirate party at Captain Hook's place - not to mention the iconic video which served a twist so genius and unexpected it's a surprise it wasn't directed by Christopher Nolan (those 1.1bn views are probably still putting the cereal in her bowl every morning). Yes, this is a very good song indeed, and while she has far surpassed it since in terms of artistry, sometimes a bop will more than suffice.
97. Ty Dolla Sign ft. YG 'Ex'
I actually only discovered this about a year ago - it's from 2017 - and while I doubt more than 3 Moopy posters have ever voluntarily listened to Ty Dolla $ign (outside of Work From Home), Ex is a banger of the highest order. Like all great love songs, it tells the story of hooking up with your ex while your current partner waits for you at home. Don't ask why - ask why not! Sample lyric, courtesy of (the gorgeous) YG's fairly brilliant guest verse: "I'm on jet skis with naked bitches / Leave your main squeeze for these naked bitches". Totally relatable.
96. Le Youth ft. Ava Max 'Clap Your Hands'
Before Ava Max was the worst case scenario next big pop girl, but after she was various other alter egos too shit to get any real attention and since furiously removed from Youtube, she featured on this really quite dazzling Le Youth single which has soundtracked many a pre-drinks for me - the lyrics are as inane as the title suggests, the production quite nice in a deep house-lite kinda way, but it's her vocal which really transforms Clap Your Hands from a decent oddity nobody will ever hear to... well, a very good one. Her adlibs over the final chorus surpass falsetto toward whistle register territory, and it's glorious. She may lack star quality, or the budget to invest in a decent weave (seriously, my friends who do drag for fun have better wigs), but that is a voice and a half, and this bops.
Who's laughing now bitch?
I never wanna hear Call Me Maybe ever again.
Jealous isn't bad though. Tinashe is the best thing about it.
Also, I'm assuming this countdown is now over. Prove me wrong Jark.
I will continue, but only if people actually comment on the songs instead of exclusively being a tragic shady bitch like Pennylope.
Me when this thread ends up in
The only song I truly like out of those is Va Va Voom. Jealous is decent but I prefer looking at Nick rather than listening to him.
Call Me Maybe is shit.
I hadn't previously heard the Ty Dolla $ign song but it's a bit of a bop isn't it. Well done Jark.
Clap Your Hands and Ava Max is meh.