LOU's TOP 25 DIVA MOMENTS of the 2000s

Discussion in 'Divas' started by Loufoque, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. Molicious

    Molicious LANA DEL MO

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    Watching that back, it's crazy that Justin managed to pass it off as an 'accident' and to distance himself from the event when he was the sole perpetrator whilst poor Janet beared the full brunt of criticism.

    PRICK
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2009
  2. POP!

    POP! Coupure Électrique

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    Justin really came out pretty much completely UNSCATHED by the whole thing. Whether it was intentional or not, who cares really, it was the most iconic thing she's ever done.
     
  3. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    I love the headline for that, "Janet's tit kills her career in one second" :D
     
  4. ameraal

    ameraal huzzah!

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    i would like to voice my very strong support for the last two entries and their write up

    i always hated justin as a public figure for some reason and the tit thing really gave me reason, he was an utter pussy boy for the entire campaign and then going on to making fun of her in give it to me (that was about her, wasn't it? refresh me) was just such a poor show

    lucky he can sang
     
  5. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    12

    BEYONCE TAKES OVER


    [​IMG]

    I was trying to think about what to write for this entry when it dawned on me that of all the moments I've included so far, this is perhaps the only one with negligible traces of hot mess. I suppose you could say Alexandra's transformation from strong black woman to a puddle in a wig was sort of lukewarm mess... but it was still only the kind of mess that some Monica Gellar style OCD bitch thinks she has made when she doesn't tuck the duvet under the mattress. IE not really a mess at all. Because let's face it, if you were standing next to the number one diva in the game, don't even act like you could hold your shit together. But you couldn't.

    The was a true GAY CHURCH moment. We were all in our Saturday night best getting ready to pray at the knees of the Virgin Dannii (I'm not saying she is a full virgin because she is clearly a slut but why do you think she has no children? She always makes them pull out before like a true Christian gurrl). Obviously there was not a lot of Dannii because as a precious gem, the universe does not allow gays full exposure to her beautifully sculpted face for fear that we will all pass out in fits of ecstasy and the entire TV industry will collapse under its inability to find runners. So in the mean time, we were all enjoying the black girl with the big voice in the sparkly dress, but it was totally Gay 101. Something else needed to happen. And then suddenly Houston's very own TRANNY JESUS descended onto the stage in a hideous House of Dereon Fall Line 08 number to tear us all a new vocal hole.

    I don't think we can underestimate the exponential growth of everyone's gay excitement during this moment (except jealous haters like TP who like rock music anyway so we DON'T KNOW THEM). But let me break down how it happened for me.

    Alexandra - Gay 101
    Enter Beyonce - Gay 135
    Beyonce unleashes THE VOICE 08 - Gay 265 TO THE FIERCEST POWER
    "I'm more than WHAT-A" - Gay 654 x SMILE WITH YOUR EYES
    But now I gotta FIYIYIYIYIYIND MY OWN - Gay 999 (RING THE ALARM)
    SING IT GIRL - QUADRUPLE VOCAL PENETRATION
    MY O-OWN - GAY COMA
    MY OO-OWN - GAY BRAIN DAMAGE
    MY OWWWWWWWWWWN! - GAY DEATH :disco::disco::disco::disco::disco::disco:

    A million gays the world over burst into spontaneous fits of of fierce heat due to lack of exposure to such ferocity since at least Divas 99. This perf was so hot it needed a health warning.

    <object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5Di32l79qoM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5Di32l79qoM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>[/QUOTE]
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2009
  6. TurnerPrize

    TurnerPrize time to dance

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    Oh my god Loufoque, actual libel. This was the moment when i first thought that the boring bitch was a decent popstar and human being. It was then backed up by her If I Were a Boy performance later on.
     
  7. Halli

    Halli sippin' champagne from a paper cup

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    Church Gais :rusty:
     
  8. Toyah

    Toyah LOON PANTS

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    It's took me about 20 mins to come out of my GAY COMA watching that!
     
  9. henZ

    henZ do you love it?

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    INDEED :disco:
     
  10. This countdown is gold.
     
  11. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    11

    THE BIRTH OF SASHA FIERCE


    [​IMG]

    OK guys I'm going to take you all the way back to NINETY THREE. There was a film out called Jurassic Park. You might have seen it. If you didn't, it was basically about taking the fiercest DNA from trees and amber and all that natural shit, and using it to breed creatures of the purest ferocity since The Land Before Time was filmed. Anyway, we all thought that that fat man from Seinfeld didn't make it off the island with the secrets from the lab. But then 2006 rolled around and something happened to make me think that maybe he leaked faster than a Whitney album in POP!'s inbox.

    Now I'm going to totally mix my movie metaphors for a second, but go with me. Do you remember that scene in Alien where Sigourney gave birth to that alien? Well Beyonce's benign, polite and well-raised Texan vagina pushed out a diva of fabulously trannified proportions for the release of her sophomore album, B'Day. I actually remember posts on this very forum from the likes of me and ameraal wondering what had happened to the mild-mannered R&B starlet we had loved but not exactly lived for with her debut. This was a different beast altogether. Mathew Knowles had got hold of that DNA code and had bred a creature one part Tyra Banks, two parts Velociraptor, half a part Tina Turner and six parts hideous ensembles from the House of Dereon Summer Line.

    The result was SASHA FIERCE. Perhaps the only true diva to emerge this decade. This is the bitch who gave us the most iconic count-off since Sesame Street with TWO TIME, FO' TIME, SEVENTEEN TIME, the woman who taught us that every now and then you gotta go into the back of your closet and pull out that freakum dress, the lady who told us that before you go inside anyway, it's only polite to fixxx your hurrr, and the icon who taught us that the one thing a diva doesn't do is allow passengers on her plane.

    I love Beyonce. I LIVE FOR SASHA.

    ALL HAIL THE QUEEN.

    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fzi4xnPd02c&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fzi4xnPd02c&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
     
  12. Kate

    Kate dumps like a truck

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    That picture is amazing :D
     
  13. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    :D I live for Lou talking about Beyonce in any context.

    Why do I always get a fit of giggles when the House of Dereon *season* line is mentioned?
     
  14. Suedey

    Suedey Run Away With Me

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    Number 1 will be a tough fight between CAME IN THE DOOR - OHHHHHHHH OHHHHH and STOP SINGING MY PART NOW BAY-BAY but I think Whitney should (and WILL) walk it.
     
  15. Slave

    Slave User

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    Beyonce/Alexandra is one reason I could never hate The X Factor. It was, for me, one of my TV highlights ever. I know they tried to re-do it with George Michael and Joe, but I honestly think it was a "once in a lifetime" moment and I'm so glad they haven't tried to recreate it elsewhere.
     
  16. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    They are interesting predix Suede but let's remember that this is not LOU's TOP 25 DIVA MOMENTS 08-09 but OF THE DECADE
     
  17. dUb

    dUb X HALLE

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    I only allow myself to watch this once every 6 months, and today is the day.

    DYING :disco::disco::disco::disco::disco::disco:
     
  18. Jake

    Jake On A Mission

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    It is the 'you've made my dreams come true' bit, with Alexandra nose running, whilst covered in tears and sweat :D
    Meanwhile Beyonce just gives Dermot a PLEASE GET ME AWAY look at 3:30!:D
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2009
  19. Kevin

    Kevin Niet meer zo lang geleden

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    Thank you so much for bringing that Beyonce/Alexandra performance into my life :disco:
     
  20. Ellie

    Ellie Super talented triple threat

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    I CRIED when I first saw that Beyonce/Alexandra performance. That firmly cemented my love for Beyonce.
     
  21. Floella

    Floella HER FUCKING HIGHNESS

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    YOU KNOW WHAT? ICE CREAM IS IMPORTANT
     
  22. Apocalypt Flyer

    Apocalypt Flyer spheres

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    Is it still on youtube? :D

    Otherwise I might have to throw it on there again and see how long it sticks :D
     
  23. Apocalypt Flyer

    Apocalypt Flyer spheres

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    Oh and like some people said, Beyonce TOTALLY won me over with those two X Factor performances. I never disliked her but that really cemented her as one of the BIG NAMES in my eyes.
     
  24. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    I should add to my last entry that getting about a metre away from Beyonce at her O2 gig this May remains my absolute highlight of OH NINE
     
  25. Suedey

    Suedey Run Away With Me

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    OH MY GOD how could I have FORGOTTEN?

    There are people called HATERS and we give them POSITIVITY *yanks microphone*

    But OF COURSE :disco:
     
  26. TurnerPrize

    TurnerPrize time to dance

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    The ice cream spazzout is one of my celebrity moments of all time, though alas it's only ever there for me on youtube half of the times i want it.

    Oh :o actually can you put it into a Megaupload please apoca? Or is that a hassle? I'd love it on my ipod.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2009
  27. Apocalypt Flyer

    Apocalypt Flyer spheres

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    I'm put it into her ICE CREAM VAN. :smoke:
     
  28. TurnerPrize

    TurnerPrize time to dance

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    OMG THANKS

    You are father christmas.
     
  29. Apocalypt Flyer

    Apocalypt Flyer spheres

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    We all need a bit of therapy sometimes and yours is in Mumu's violet coloured 'We love all kinds of people' Glitter t-shirt as of now.
     
  30. Suedey

    Suedey Run Away With Me

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    Since this thread is in INTERLUDE MODE I thought we'd all pass the time with this whilst waiting for Lou's next DIVA MOMENT

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  31. Ag

    Ag User

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    What a SENSATIONAL TOPIC.

    10/10 thread.
     
  32. loomer

    loomer User

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    Here's another interlude of the OLD SKOOL

    The infamous mic toss where Lady Di runs away from the awful walrus

    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/x-Uz5q5g65c&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/x-Uz5q5g65c&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
     
  33. Whatevar

    Whatevar WHAT!

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    OMG you just know Mariah was watching that on repeat every day as a child.
     
  34. Ellie

    Ellie Super talented triple threat

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    Erm, WHERE can I find that Motown Returns To The Apollo special to buy or download??
     
  35. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    10

    DON'T FUCK WITH A CORPORATION


    [​IMG]

    Don't fuck with this bitch.

    Most of them time she'll just keep you in her prayers. Often she just won't know you. But very rarely, Mariah will drop a shit bomb so potent that she has to evacuate the butterfly enclosure and put her unicorn into storage for fear that the fierce heat radiating from the aftershock will destroy everything she holds dear. Because when bitch is pissed, she does what any true singer-songwriter-actress-parfumier-corporation- does. She puts on a pair of 6 inch heels, changes her ensemble seven or eight times, takes her dog out of the tumble dryer and heads to the studio to drop a track loaded with so many lyrical bombs that it could wipe out the Taliban, the KKK, the entire North Korean army and the black-haters in the Sudan in one clench of her arse cheeks. If you are reading this US military, get speedial to connect you to Rae Rae to fix up a strategy meeting ASAP.

    Anyway in May 09, Mariah was ready to cut a bitch.

    Things had all started innocently enough in 2001 of course. Eminem, the #1 white rapper in the game, was all up in the charts, but he really needed to emphasise her black credentials. So he hit up the blackest bitch in the Western world for tips. She called him on her celly when she was feeling lonely during the bleakest hours of 9/7, but when it was all over she expected him to get up and leave. Question: so what went wrong? The answer is that Mariah's eternally 12 year old vagina was still in denial about being a virgin because it wanted to fit in with all the other vaginas of the same age (except the slutty ones like JoJo's or whoever's, but they were already like eternally 26 so it was moot point). So Mariah started telling everyone that Eminem hadn't hit it even though I believ he had, which totally lost Eminem black points. And so it began.

    Clown was just the prologue. Nothing could prepare us for the fierce explosion that would follow 7 years down the line. Joan Collins meets Joan Crawford for drinks before a night out with Baby P's mum couldn't have collectively come up with this. We all knew Mariah was the bitchiest girl in high school, but this was an air(play) strike on a level never seen before. This was the Eminem's equivalent of

    [​IMG]

    Of course, he hit back with claims that she was an alcoholic (no shit) and that he had spunked all over her rock-hard abs. But the damage had already been done. Mariah had sent a clear message to all the haters in the place.

    She was singing to you.
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2009
  36. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    9

    "TAKE A KAYAK! GO INTO THOSE WALLS!"


    [​IMG]

    Oh Celine.

    I love you so much. Even though I am 23y.o. and a strong independent man, I sometimes wish you would make like Kate McCann and lose that little bitch Rene Charles so that you could adopt me instead. We would have great times like any mother and her gay son. And to me Rene C looks like a straightie, which is one the thing the world does not need ANOTHER ONE OF.

    Anyway, I just wanted to put that out there.

    But this is one of the reasons I love Celly so much. In between all the doom and gloom, the worthy journalism and the endless appeals for aid that happened in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, Celine brought something that was DRAMATIC but a LITTLE LESS GHETTO than a million black people trapped in a water-logged stadium to the table.

    I'm not going to relive it all for you, because I couldn't do it justice. The sheer majesty of Celine's fabulously broken English cannot be replicated in written form. But for me, highlights include:

    and

    But for me, the greatest thing about this interview was where Celine exclaimed that she has been trying to keep away from Rene Charles from "SOMETHING SO DRAMATIC". Sorry Celine, but LET'S BE REAL.

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    Even Hurricane Katrina fucking 9/11 on 7/7 while watching a video of the Tsunami would be less dramatic than you are on an HOURLY BASIS.

    I've also got to give some props to Larry King, who handled the whole situation with less self-awareness than Paula Adbul after a trip to the pharmacist. He starts by making the most tenuous link in the history of the Francophone world, by asking her how she feels about New Orleans as a French Canadian. To which she replies that she's been there a few times on tour and has possibly seen it on the Travel Channel. Clearly not bothered. Watch out Kate Garraway. And then, to his eternal credit, he asks her to SING. Because whenever you are faced with a gibbering wreck, it's TV presenting 101 to ask them to do a quick perf with no warm-up or song choice in mind. Someone get this man on the X Factor.

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    Last edited: Dec 21, 2009
  37. Slave

    Slave User

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    I'm still vaguely bemused at the fact that that whole Celine Dion GOLDMINE has lay relatively undiscovered by anyone outside of Moopy.
     
  38. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    As fabulously mad as Celine is in that clip, it is Larry David asking her to sing which always gets me. WHY? WHY WOULD YOU? What on earth was going through his head?

    Her subsequent completely thrown facial expression is brilliant.
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2009
  39. loomer

    loomer User

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  40. Ellie

    Ellie Super talented triple threat

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    ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
     

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