LOU's TOP 25 DIVA MOMENTS of the 2000s

Discussion in 'Divas' started by Loufoque, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    FUCK OFF WITH THIS EMMA BUNTON BULLSHIT!

    She doesn't even have 500 hours on the CHARTS!
     
  2. ameraal

    ameraal trash

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    god, this thread has given me an endless amount of little bursts of pure joy
    it's like having a dream boyfriend but with an endless amount of little bursts of pure joy... :(

    i hope mariah's speech upon winning billboard's artsist of the decade is there. it's like the 10 commandments
     
  3. Halli

    Halli sippin' champagne from a paper cup

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    Really?! I hope you aren't joking! :D :D
     
  4. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    My sources tell me it was '99

    It truly was an honorary diva moment of the 2000s in any case

    FORGET THE RUMOURS
    FORGET THE IMAGE
    FORGET THE ENSEMBLES
    BIG HAIR
    SHORT SKIRTS
    WHATEVER

    I OWE THIS TO THE FANS
    AND I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!

    :disco:
     
  5. Pipo

    Pipo WEAR MY KISS

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    I could teach you how to curse in spanish (you never know when that comes in handy) and I'll make CHOLA braids with your weave
     
  6. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    OMG how do you say BFF in Spanish
     
  7. Pipo

    Pipo WEAR MY KISS

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  8. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    5

    WHITNEY MAKES CELINE CRY


    [​IMG]

    I love a moment of diva synergy. That is, when two divas come together in a cosmic collision of fur coats, pre-recorded vocals, deathly stares and panicky gay PAs to create a moment of such incalculable ferocity that it would threaten to change every straight man's internet homepage in the world to www.moopy.org.uk/forums.

    The 2000s have not been light of such moments. Several have already been documented in this very countdown. Mariah & Diana, Tina & Beyonce, Madonna, Britney & Chrissy. All have been responsible for doubling Moopy's 'straight' contingent. To 5.

    But only one diva had the power to reduce one of her inferior understudies to tears in the 2000s. She already came close twice in the 90s. First when she gave White Witch Madonna nightmares that Exhale (Shoop Shoop) was outperforming You'll See on the charts. And the second time at the Oscars, when she unleashed THE VOICE (say it like Oprah) and sent Mariah spiralling into weight-gain, depression, mixed-sex clothing lines and ice-cream carts (but more on that later). But nothing could prepare Celine Dion for what she was going to witness at the 2004 World Music Awards.

    The press had been abuzz with the news that Whitney - last seen on <s>Jasmine's</s> her own sofa laying a smackdown on Diane Sawyer, and last heard on the nation's airwaves laying a smackdown on Wendy Williams - was about to return for her first public performance since her ill-fated turn at Divas 2003.

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    To say we were expecting the worst was an understatement. Whitney was caught inside of her own haze, and we really thought she was gonna be gone for <s>days</s> years. But on that night, things, temporarily, started to look up. Clive was back on the scene. Introducing her as the 'Greatest Singer in the World Today', Whitney appeared on stage, looking thin, but not 30th Anniversary thin. And then she dropped the bomb. THE VOICE WAS STILL THERE.

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    I don't know where she pulled it out from - it certainly hadn't been there before, and fuck me, it wasn't there at the Winter Olympics two years later. But she must have coated her larynx in some serious hallucinogens because I swear her vocal chords thought they was back in the 80s for about 7 minutes there. The world nearly collapsed under the weight of expectation as she did her trademark pause before she brought I Will Always Love You on home. Bitches were in tears. Clive was in tears. Whitney was in tears. The WMAs, always viewed as the Grammy's French retarded cousin who does Model UN and speaks seven languages but couldn't get fucked by any other awards ceremony around (even the MTV Asia awards), couldn't believe it had just provided the world with a TOP 5 DIVA MOMENT OF THE 2000s, but it had.

    Now during this whole commotion, Celine was busy backstage, possibly dispensing advice to assorted disabled gay children or spending quality time with the French Canadian Cousin It, Rene Charles. Don't quote me on it, but that sounds like the kind of shit she would do. Now, remember when I said that Mariah was the Regina George of Diva High? Well, Celine was the girl who didn't even go to Northshore who wished that she could bake a cake made of smiles and rainbows and that the divas could all just get along like they did in Elementary School. Of course, none of the other bitches paid any attention to her, but - working the press line like a true pro - she took the opportunity climb up onto the podium in front of the world's media and burst into tears over Whitney's death-defying performance.

    Celine, as ever, a voice for the under-represented musical theatre gays the world over shed a glittery tear for all of us over what could have proved to be Whitney's final performance. BEST GAY MUM EVER.

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    Last edited: Dec 28, 2009
  9. toadsicle

    toadsicle User

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    oh, awesome!! ur writeup about x-factor was perfect, and the WMA spectacle is a v. pleasant surprise! prolly my fave whitney perf of the noughties... if only because no one thought she'd bring it that nite. it wasn't flawless (some of those falsettos are real flat) but it works (esp. given the context), and its the only time i seen her look humbled (if only for a v. brief second right after finishing the perf) since like the 1980s. and then she recovers her composure right away. DIVA.

    and celine, courtney love and josh groban? LOL
     
  10. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    EXACTLY

    I wish I could be SO SUCCINCT
     
  11. loomer

    loomer User

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    I love the Mariah fans response

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    I'm surprised you tossed off the X Factor so early, but makes it more exciting. It seems a bit catered toward hardcore Mariah fans. I have a couple of ideas what's destined for near the top.
     
  12. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    That fan response is retarded - they were evenly matched on Oprah. I don't think anyone 'won' that battle.

    I'd love to see a When You Believe '09 sing off :disco: :daf:
     
  13. Suomi

    Suomi Super Moderator

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    I think the top 4 will be:

    Mariah on TRL/Ice Cream/They won't let me speak

    Whitney's interview where she's asked about taking crack etc

    The Emancipation of Mimi project/Comebacks in general

    Glitter
     
  14. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    Mariah's been the most prolific diva of the decade - she's released five albums since 2001, more than any other diva (except maybe Celine, but she hasn't had a hit since 2002). She has more moments to choose from.
     
  15. Whatevar

    Whatevar WOOF

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    "HE SPIT ON ME. IN MY FACE." has to be in there too
     
  16. loomer

    loomer User

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    TRUE

    Though Empress Bee is the new Mariah in terms of overexposure (WELCOME overexposure, that is). Non diva Rihanna is also FECUND
     
  17. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    Yeah but great songs and performances aside, Beyonce doesn't DO MUCH

    If this was a songs countdown she would be all over it

    BUT IT AIN'T so MOVE IT RIGHT ALONG WENDY
     
  18. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    4

    IT'S A SPECIAL OCCASION


    [​IMG]

    Suomi - 1

    This was the comeback to end all comebacks. Forget Diana. Forget Ray of Light. Forget Believe. This was the biggest emancipation since the slaves quit the cotton fields.

    There were rumblings of course. Back at the end of 2004, the lambs were restless. We felt something was going to happen. Songs started leaking. We loved them, but weren't living for them. But even so, we kept hope alive. The Xmas Disney Parade performance seemed to suggest that Mariah had got her sparkle back. No more dead eye Bambi with spastic feet.

    Then It's Like That leaked. It sounded different to anything we'd heard post Glitter. It was confident, fun, cocksure even. We'd got used to Mariah's quirky phraseology, but for the first time, she was using it in her lyrics. It seemed like a different woman to the battered shell that had given us Through The Rain. In fact, it was like a wayward dog had smashed that shell and the voice had magically gone back to its true owner.

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    Nice J Lo cameo at the end there.

    Anyway, It's Like That was only the start of things to come. With Benny Medina on board, it seemed that there was interest in Mariah not seen since the halcyon days of Butterfly. She was everywhere, all at once. The album flew to the top of the US charts, giving her the biggest first week sales of her career and returning her to the top of the album charts for the first time since NINETEEN NINETY SEVEN!

    Things were all going well, but we'd seen this kind of comeback before. Loads of promo, big first week sales, two weeks later, the album is out of the Top 50. But Mariah had something up her sleeve that no one else had. I firmly believe that if Saddam Hussein had had this song in his arsenal he would still be larging it over Iraq. If Osama Bin Laden had had it, we'd all be at the mosque right about now. If Shannon Matthews had had it, she almost certainly would have been kidnapped for real. And if Madonna had had it, maybe we'd still like her.

    It is difficult to downplay the pivotal role We Belong Together played in Mariah's career. It not only made her relevant again, it made her the biggest star in the world. It was a smash everywhere, returning her to the UK Top 2 (Westlife aside) for the first time since All I Want For Christmas Is You. It got her on the bill at Live 8. IN LONDON. And in the USA, it topped the charts for a record-breaking 16 weeks, placing it not only as the biggest song of the year, but as the biggest song of the decade and one of the top ten biggest songs EVER in that country. To put that into context, none of her other singles this decade (including 3 further #1s) penetrated the Top 100 of the 2000s.

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    More hits followed in the form of Shake It Off, Get Your Number, Say Somethin', Fly Like A Bird and the regrettable WBT re-tread Don't Forget About Us. The wheels kept rolling into 2006, as Mariah took to the road for The Adventures of Mimi tour. She appeared at the Grammys, where she took home 3 awards, her first since the early 90s. After a shaky performance of We Belong Together, she got her shit together/her backing tape on for a stunning rendition of Fly Like A Bird, which ranks as possibly my favourite diva performance this decade (LIPPED OR NOT). It was about the emotion, what it represented.

    As Teri Hatcher said in the aftermath, I FEEL LIKE WE'VE ALL BEEN SAVED

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    As fans we had been saved. No diva had pulled off a sustained album campaign like this one since the 90s. To take an album to six or seven singles was unheard of in days where you were lucky to even get a third video out of Madonna. When the only hit Whitney could get was off her dealer. When Celine was holed up in Vegas with only French Canadian mutes and contortionists for company. It was a great time to be a Mariah fan. If I recall, it was also when I started posting on Moopy.

    In every way it was the greatest triumph she could have hoped for. And for someone so detached from reality, it was lovely to see that she actually APPRECIATED IT

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    FUCK YOU HATERS!

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2009
  19. loomer

    loomer User

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    TRUE ENOUGH

    She's trying to hard to be a LEGEND and ICON - though songswise she's getting there, certainly biggest star of this decade.

    NEVER reveal your PLAN to conquer the world. Unless you're Hitler or Vadge.
     
  20. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    Musically and visually, she's there. She has released at least three iconic tracks this decade (Crazy In Love, Irreplaceable, Single Ladies) as well as a slew of other potential 'classics'.

    And she has something about her - when I saw her up close I was blown away.

    But her story is too perfect. There is no adversity, no struggle. Falling out with your old BFFs from high school doesn't really make you a Survivor.
     
  21. loomer

    loomer User

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    That bytch Cyndi is a true hater living off haterade

    I wanted Mariah to expand on her babbling rant :( It sounded good
     
  22. toadsicle

    toadsicle User

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    LUV IT
     
  23. loomer

    loomer User

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    I was cursing myself for not being able to go, I was even considering going to Belfast or Newcastle to see her. Damn that EMA debacle, she'll never visit Scotland again.

    I bet you went to BOTH SHOWS

    Though I'm not sure if the B'Day tour would've been better. Wow to see that performed live. :shock: *buys DVDs*
     
  24. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    The Beyonce Experience was great because it had the massive DC medley, but I Am was tighter - she trimmed a lot of the fat, particularly anything bar the singles from the debut, which was welcome.

    The closing triumvirate of Listen/Single Ladies/Halo nearly killed me
     
  25. GraceOfGod

    GraceOfGod But For The

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    This is my favourite moment of this entire thread. I feel a tribute countdown to THIS THREAD coming on.
     
  26. loomer

    loomer User

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    :D :disco:

    I need to get a Miss Ross bio, preferably MARY's Dreamgirls one.

    And who on earth is that in your avatar Toyah? I'm sure I know but it's really annoying that I can't place it.
     
  27. Suomi

    Suomi Super Moderator

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    this thread is the funniest thing I have ever read on Moopyyyyy
     
  28. Suedey

    Suedey Bachelor No. 2

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    I can't wait to recreate this moment myself in my own REAL LIFE

    [​IMG]

    I WANNA LIVE LIKE THAT
     
  29. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    Before we head into the Top 3, let's take a moment to relive THIS piece of cracked out fabulosity

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    Call it a PRELUDE to MOMENT #3
     
  30. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    The CRACKY CLAP at the end is TOO MUCH :disco:
     
  31. Suomi

    Suomi Super Moderator

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    God, everyone around her looks EMBARRASSED for her
     
  32. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    Even BOBBI K is like BITCH PLEASE :disco:
     
  33. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    I bet Mathew Knowles sued for royalties over that interpolation of Survivor
     
  34. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    QUEEN CISSY'S face could not look ANY MORE APPALLED :D
     
  35. SmeetaSmitten

    SmeetaSmitten SHOWBIZ KITTEN

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    :disco:

    Just to say, I usually only lurk here but I wanted to express how much I fucking live for these threads of yours Loufoque.

    That's all.
     
  36. Kevin

    Kevin Niet meer zo lang geleden

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    This thread makes me enjoy Whitney, Mariah and Celine so much more :disco: I really didn't know most of those fragments. I've been showing to lots of people over the holiday.
     
  37. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

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    I LOVE YOU, BUT I DON'T LIVE FOR YOU


    [​IMG]

    OH. MY. FUCK.

    Do you remember the first time you saw the Whitney Houston/Diane Sawyer interview? If Whitney has transcended many different charts, then she has also transcended all traditional media. Music? DID IT. Film? SMASHED IT. Television? DESTROYED IT. Yes, Whitney vs Diane Sawyer was, on its initial broadcast, the second most watched interview of ALL TIME in the United States. Forget Frost/Nixon. Forget Oprah/MJ. Middle America gets a lot of shit wrong, but they know event television when they see it.

    Mariah might have been peddling all kinds of shit phrases for the last decade, but let's face it, beyond Moopy and a couple of more ideologically questionable fansites (I heard Stone Groove Smash Hit Wonder was used by the 7/7 bombers to describe a really successful explosion), my Mariah-Collins Dictionary has very little currency. I mean, can you put MORNTING down on a Scrabble board? Let's just say that is a one-way ticket to a missed round and a score in SINGLE FIGURES.

    But Whitney. Whitney's throwaway line at the very start of the interview penetrated the cultural lexicon in a way that no diva had done before or has done since. Even people who haven't seen the interview know the phrase. Someone bought me a CRACK IS WHACK badge for my office Secret Santa this year. For an interview that was never even broadcast in the UK, that is some serious etymological shit.

    But the interview was more than just that one line. Whitney, for all her flaws and failings, was lucid. She made a lot of sense. You could see a woman tired by fame, who had had enough of the game and who was ready to pack it all in. And more so than any other mega-famous interviewee I have ever seen, she was honest.

    And she was FABULOUS.

    Highlights include:

    (OT: we really need a Whitney smilie to signify that you are in the mood to cut a bitch)

    But in between all the gay squealing and giggling we have done about it over the last seven years, there were so real moments. In particular, her admission that "I don't like to think of myself addicted" showed a woman battling her demons. For me, the interview was perfectly encapsulated not by CRACK IS WHACK, but by the following exchange:

    I love adult humour in cartoon films. And this was what the Diane Sawyer interview was. A BLACK BLACK BLACK COMEDY INTERVIEW with Marge Simpson's EVIL BLACK BLACK BLACK COUSIN.

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    ...

    Now, Whitney had said she was in the mood to "kick some ass" during the Diane Sawyer interview, and that she did a couple of months later when she called into to the Wendy Williams show to lay a smackdown on Wendy.

    No careful editing, no sympathetic shots, no pathos, no spirituality here - just FULL ON FUCKED UP CRACKED OUT CRAZY OLD WHITNEY, UNCUT AND UNCENSORED. And again, it was FABULOUS :disco:

    Even in the wake of the Britneys and Lindsays and Mishas, I cannot think of a single interview where a star of Whitney's calibre has behaved so DISGRACEFULLY. Because Whitney didn't just put on her bitch WIG that day, she put on her BITCH SWEATS and rolled a bit fat BITCH joint and laced it with the bitchiest ROCK she could find. Because NO ONE could cut a bitch over the radio like LIPPY cut a bitch over the radio.

    For me the immortal phrase I LOVE YOU, BUT I DON'T LIVE FOR YOU will live on in my heart forever, but so much of it is sheer DIVA GOLD that it has to be listened to to be believed.

    WHAT!

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    Last edited: Dec 29, 2009
  38. Suedey

    Suedey Bachelor No. 2

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    TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST, the Diane interview would be my Number One DIVA MOMENT of the '00s

    What is it, Diane...? What is it?
    Do you know?

    Do you know, Diane?

    (Diane says No)

    THANK YOU (with defiant and somewhat insane look)


    I do this as often as brushing my teeth daily. So at least twice. It's very therapeutic.
     
  39. Loufoque

    Loufoque CONTINENTAL QUEEN

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    63,195
    It is truly iconic

    But then most of the Top 10 (Celine up) have changed my whole outlook on life
     
  40. Apocalypt Flyer

    Apocalypt Flyer spheres

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2004
    Messages:
    46,475
    Location:
    suitcase
    I DON'T WANT TO PEAK TOO QUICKLY. The Wendy Williams interview is just SOMETHING ELSE. :D
     

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