Melodifestivalen 2018: Deltävling 1 - Karlstad

Discussion in 'Melodifestivalen' started by VoR, Jan 30, 2018.

  1. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    MELFEST! MELFEST! MELFEST! BACK! BACK! BACK!

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    Yes, everyone's favourite not-quite-as-good-as-it-used-to-be-but-then-again-nothing-really-is-when-you're-on-the-wrong-side-of-30 Eurovision pre-contest extravaganza returns to our screens this Saturday.

    Last year, Heat One gave us Ace Wilder going full Aqua in juicy couture and remarkably picking up votes, Charlotte Perrelli lighting a campfire on her glorious legacy and being deservedly sent home in disgrace, Dinah Nah delivering the most quintessential fifth-placer in Melfest history and much, much less.

    Let's have a look at our runners and riders this time around, shall we?

    1. Sigrid Bernson - Patrick Swayze
    (Andrej Kamnik, Josefin Glenmark, Peg Parnevik, Sigrid Bernson)

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    I see you Krista Siegfrids. I see you slinking away in defeat last year after the Swedish audience rejected yet another of your danceable delights. I see you staring into the mirror, wondering if the best of all the years have gone by. I see you putting a brave face on and taking calls about appearing on the next season of Dancing on Finno-Swedish Ice, the third-most viewed reality show on Finland's fifth most-viewed TV channel. I see you crying into a tub of Ben & Jerry's while that husband you only married to give yourself a cute callback for your Eurovision 2015 vote-reading gig ruins your 18th viewing of Dirty Dancing with his sleep apnoea. I see the idea forming as you turn up the volume on that iconic 80s soundtrack. I see your sad realisation that Christer Björkman hasn't returned your calls in 8 months. I see you walking a little more slowly past the local rhinoplasty and vowing that if this one doesn't work out you're definitely jacking it all in. I see you Krista. I see you. And I support you.

    2. John Lundvik - My Turn
    (Anna-Klara Folin, John Lundvik, Jonas Thander)

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    John Lundvik is a 35 year old songwriter and former sprinter who has written songs for Sanna Nielsen, Agnes, Anton Ewald and more, all while nurturing an insatiable hunger to step into the dizzying glare of the Swedish spotlight himself. He's been releasing material for the best part of a decade, but success has eluded him. Now he's been unceremoniously shoved into Heat One Slot Two of Melfest, a position formerly occupied by such immortals as Adrijana, Pernilla Andersson and Daniel Gildenlöw. The percentages say it all. 0% dance. 0% humour. John is not here to play around. This is his moment, dammit. If one of the other contestants from this heat is found murdered this week, search John's dressing room first.

    3. Renaida - All The Feels
    (Laurell Barker, Jon Hällgren, Peter Barringer, Lukas Hällgren)

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    As the past decade has painfully reminded us, Melfest cannot subsist on gay interest alone. Christer and his cronies need those millennial app votes to justify annually blowing 75% of SVT's budget on this thing. Renaida was born after the Spice Girls peaked and has probably never knowingly heard a Shirley Clamp song. Her song title vaguely sounds like a meme, or a form of slang used by teenage girls and quasi-ironic gays. It'll probably be quite fun and she might do fairly well. If it doesn't, she'll probably shrug her shoulders and move onto the next thing. Such is the unshakeable confidence of youth. She's 20 years away from squeezing herself into an ill-fitting wrap dress and honking down the lens of the camera with the air of a woman whose every moment onstage plays out like a desperate final throw of the dice. It's your world now, Renaida. KPI achieved.

    4. Edward Blom - Livet på en pinne
    (Edward Blom, Thomas G:son, Stefan Brunzell, Kent Olsson)

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    Edward Blom is a character. You can tell because he wears the kind of clothes that aren't specifically appropriate for any one occasion and has unacceptable hair. He's a popular TV chef, apparently, and now he's doing this because it's good synergy for his upcoming mini-series about Sweden's funniest abattoirs. It's going to be retro and nostalgic, because nobody under the age of 35 has a clue who he is, but they might vote him through anyway for the lolz. Three years from now he'll be embroiled in a career-ending rape scandal and we'll all feel a bit icky when we look back at this.

    5. Kikki Danielsson - Osby Tennessee
    (Sulo Karlsson, Kikki Danielsson)

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    A doughty old warhorse who's survived the journey from light entertainment to kitsch to vaguely respectable by dint of still hobbling on in spite of all the shit life throws at her, Kikki is minor Melfest royalty. She was last seen in this context swaying uncertainly through a hilarious bit of old tat in an alcoholic fugue state that made Sweden feel complicit/nostalgic enough that they sent her straight to the finals. Those were kinder times. Now she's back to bare her soul with a self-penned country number reflecting five decades of doing it the hard way. Like screening a phone call from their lonely alcoholic grandmother, Sweden will be kinda busy right now but will *definitely* come visit soon.

    6. Kamferdrops - Solen lever kvar hos dig
    (Herbert Trus, Danne Attlerud, Martin Klaman, Krstoffer Tømmerbakke, Erik Smaaland, Kamferdrops)

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    One person who might actually return poor sad old Kikki's call is this enigmatic Norwegian hipster, who's already repurposed a bit of the former's old rope as a sort of deadpan arthouse project that rang out on Generation Y Spotify Playlists in Digital Marketing offices from Göteborg to Gävle. She can't sing a note of course, and this would be bound to come hilariously unstuck in an Addis Black Widow stylee, if not for the disappointing sense that she'll probably style it out as a post modern comment on the futility of basic professionalism.

    7. Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off
    (Benjamin Ingrosso, MAG, Louis Schoorl, K Nita)

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    Mother! I've submitted a song to Melfest again...
    Mother! I stopped shaving my shoulders again...
    Mother! I'm suppressing a full-blown anxiety attack while trying to look sexy again...
    Mother! I'm quietly wishing I'd had the courage to tell you I hated stage school and what I really wanted was to be a Dental Hygienist again...
    Mother! You're hurting me again...
    Mother! You're hurting me again...
    Mother...
    Mother...
    Oh Mother, please not the hose again...



    Lyrics and press reviews tomorrow. Full songs on Thursday apparently. Show kicks off 7pm UK time on Saturday.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2018
    Suomi, COB and Penelope like this.
  2. Alla

    Alla 124/ 11124/ 11124/ 123456

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    Is anyone doing the prediction contest? Not you Kala, PLEASE, we didn't have full results in 3 years. I don't mind doing it if nobody wants to.
     
  3. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    For those weirdos among you who don't follow the Swedish charts all year round, here are some tasty treats by the participating artists.

    Sigrid Bernson had a big summer hit last year with this. Apparently her Melfest entry is very much in the same vein.



    John Lundvik performing probably his most famous composition, which was more famously recorded by Agnes and Björn Skiffs



    Renaida is from Swedish Idol. Here's her inevitable take on Euphoria.



    Edward Blom had a hit last year with this novelty single. Doesn't sound like he's much of a vocalist.

     
  4. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    Kikki appeared on Swedish reality show Så mycket bättre last year. Here is her unexpectedly great take on an Icona Pop hit.



    Kamferdrops had a huge hit last year with this update of an old Kikki schlager song



    Benjamin Ingrosso's done quite well since shitting himself live onstage last year. Here's one of his recent singles, which went Gold.

     
  5. Samuel

    Samuel User

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    Full songs on Thursday? Interesting. Where did you hear that, @VoR?
     
  6. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    I'm sure someone (probably @Penelope ) said they're all getting played on the radio on Thursday night like in the good old days. Would make sense with the new head woman having close ties to Swedish radio, but I may be talking bollocks.
     
  7. Kalabaliken

    Kalabaliken Pop Precision Since 1978

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    So it's Benjamin plus A N other to the final, but just who? I think we can rule out Kamferdrops, who will be diabolical live and probably Edward Blom and Kikki as they won't appeal so much to the app voters. John Lundvik going DTF would be a susprise, if not impossible, but I am guessing one of the girls, with the other joining John in AC.

    I'm not doing the prediction contest, have not got the time.
     
  8. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    I reckon Edward Blom could very easily go DTF on the LOLZ vote.

    Kamferdrops are the other favourites in the betting, but I can't see it either. Their music is too low key, she's too off-putting and she can't sing for toffee. So yeah maybe whoever has the better song between Sigrid and Renaida ?

    Unless there's yet another mass sympathy vote in her favour, I can't imagine Kikki will escape the bottom 2.
     
  9. Kalabaliken

    Kalabaliken Pop Precision Since 1978

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    Apparently you need to completely download a new app this year as the old one won't work. I'm sensing shades of Molly PH all over again for Sigrid.
     
  10. Jætike

    Jætike Gay horses eat hay

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    Doubt Kikki can do a Hasse
     
  11. Penelope

    Penelope DON'T TALK TO ME

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    They’re being played on P4 local radio between 2-4pm each Thursday for each city that’s hosting as part of a drive to make the contest more of an event in the cities it visits rather than a parachute in-out gig that just goes to the local stadium for two hours but does nothing else.

    http://www.mynewsdesk.com/se/livena...difestivalen-lanserar-vaelkomstfesten-2377030
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2018
  12. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    What do the percentages mean overall? Are they saying that John’s song is scientifically barely anything?
     
  13. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    They're just given categories to arbitrarily give percentages to as an indicator of the feel of their songs.

    So John's song is a midtempo, only modestly built around the stage show, is not remotely fun or humorous and features no dancing.

    Sounds THRILLING :side-eye:
     
  14. Kalabaliken

    Kalabaliken Pop Precision Since 1978

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    There's one song in the next semi with 0% for EVERYTHING.
     
  15. Penelope

    Penelope DON'T TALK TO ME

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    Live-streaming from 1pm tomorrow (UK time) on P4 Värmland. http://sverigesradio.se/varmland
     
  16. Kalabaliken

    Kalabaliken Pop Precision Since 1978

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    Going on the reviews of the press, Eurofans around Europe are going to be FUMING come Saturday evening when Edward Blom makes it to the final over a pop starlet. Perhaps Renaida and Sigrid will cancel each other out, but I'm still not convinced Kamferdrops can perform live, but then there is the prerecorded backing vocals. One of them will join John in Andra Chansen. I wouldn't be surprised if Mariette is the only female to qualify for the final directly.
     
  17. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    I agree Benjamin/Edward is a likely top two scenario this week, but 3/4 of last year's semis had a solo female in the top two (Ace, Mariette, Wiktoria). I don't think we're in for another 2013 unless it turns out to be an exceptionally weak year for the ladies.
     
  18. Penelope

    Penelope DON'T TALK TO ME

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    Of course you wouldn't :D
     
  19. Samuel

    Samuel User

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    If I’ve understood correctly, P4 will only be playing 1-minute clips of the songs, NOT the full versions.

    SVT will be uploading the same clips to their website shortly after they’re played on air.
     
  20. Alla

    Alla 124/ 11124/ 11124/ 123456

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    Just in time. Let's see.
     
  21. Alla

    Alla 124/ 11124/ 11124/ 123456

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    Ok I had enough, are they actually presenting the songs?
     
  22. Ill Advised

    Ill Advised User

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    I think it’s happening now or soon at least...
     
  23. Samuel

    Samuel User

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    Yep, just 1-minute clips on P4 - they’ve just played Renaida.
     
  24. Samuel

    Samuel User

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  25. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    Sigrid is serving our first 'wrong side of Finalen or Bust' classic of the year. :disco:

    John Lundvik isn't terrible but in this context it's totally doomed.

    Renaida is very 2018 in quite a run-of-the-mill way, but the reports about her live performance suggest it'll likely be enough for AC.

    Edward Blom's song is even worse than I expected. It'll probably got to AC on the novelty vote but it seems too genuinely inept to pick up much support.

    Poor sad old Kikki. Nobody's going to vote for that.

    Kamferdrops is a total rewrite of Jag trodde anglarna fanns, but it's really nice for that. Turn the BVs up to 11 and she might do well.

    Benjamin walking the heat, although it's more radio than ESC and I don't think he's a major threat once he reaches the final.
     
  26. Kalabaliken

    Kalabaliken Pop Precision Since 1978

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    From reactions it doesn't seem like a classic heat. I'm not convinced that the Swedes will vote for a song which is partly in Norwegian, especially if she yelps through the song. I guess if Renaida can pull it off performance wise she might have a chance. Glad to hear Edward is shit, but we've had utter DRECK go DTF before. Oh Kikki, it's surely going to come last, it's the Mitt Liv of 2018 it seems. Sigrid is being compared to Velvet and I guess she will suffer the same result, especially with this new app thingy. Apparently John is shirtless. Which for a ballad seems weird.

    Here are the odds, Renaida has dropped like a stone:

    1 Benjamin Ingrosso – Dance You Off 1.08
    2 Kamferdrops – Solen lever kvar hos dig 1.72
    3 Sigrid Bernson – Patrick Swayze 2.5
    4 Edward Blom – Livet på en pinne 3
    5 John Lundvik – My Turn 4
    6 Renaida – All The Feels 6
    7 Kikki Danielsson – Osby Tennessee 6.5
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2018
  27. Apocalypt Flyer

    Apocalypt Flyer spheres

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    Well these are all a bit crap based on the first minute.

    HAPPY MELODIFESTIVALEN SEASON Y'ALL.
     
  28. Kalabaliken

    Kalabaliken Pop Precision Since 1978

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    Loreen is the only act to ever win from the first semi final, so it's still early days.
     
  29. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    Worst Melodifestivalen since 1992
     
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  30. Kalabaliken

    Kalabaliken Pop Precision Since 1978

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    Apparently Kamferdrops is cut in half LIVE on stage during her song and then she's made to disappear! :D
     
  31. Pingu

    Pingu Never thought I'd work again

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    :D

    He was changing at the side of the stage!
     
  32. Ag

    Ag User

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    I'm in.
     
  33. Kalabaliken

    Kalabaliken Pop Precision Since 1978

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    Oh well, we can but dream! :D
     
  34. Ag

    Ag User

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    I like the sound of Kamferdrops. Benjamin was very drab in a 2018 kinda way.
     
  35. Alla

    Alla 124/ 11124/ 11124/ 123456

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    Oh Kikki :D That's my toilet break sorted.
     
  36. Penelope

    Penelope DON'T TALK TO ME

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    Kamferdrops is fucking AMAZING! I’m crying with JOY AND EUROVISION ALREADY! :disco:

    I reckon it’s her, Benjamin and Renaida through. Can’t tell whether Edward is going direkt or failing miserably but he’s a terminally bad performer. Sigrid feels like a total non-qualifier - it’s so BORING AND SEDATE for a supposed banger!
     
  37. Mats

    Mats User

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    I'm watching this tomorrow for the first time. my Swedish friend has relocated to my neck of the woods so he's clinging on to his identity in this uncultured country and throwing a "party"

    Kikki looks too much like my mother :confused:
     
  38. Mats

    Mats User

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    well that's promising :D *suffers emergency appendicitis*
     
  39. VoR

    VoR #Justice4JLo

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    The pre-show moaning is all part of our process @Mats . It’ll be fine.
     
  40. Ag

    Ag User

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    I don't recall Melodi fans EVER enjoying ANY OF IT.

    I realise I have got into it PROPER past it's GAY PRIME, but it's still as good as any music talent show gets in 2018.
     

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