Monday didn't realise Billy Ocean is not an ocean

Discussion in 'Moopy Moop' started by Ag, Nov 23, 2020.

  1. Ag

    Ag BRING BACK TAGS

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    Oh morning.
     
  2. dmlaw

    dmlaw Democracy doesn't work

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    If you were surprised by Billy Ocean, you won't believe the news about Greg Lake.

    I think Ross Sea is still OK, though.
     
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  3. Indie

    Indie Great Tits IN THE SNOW

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    Next thing you'll be telling me is that Joan Rivers is not some rivers. I WON'T BELIEVE IT
     
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  4. octophone

    octophone The Electrocutioner

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    ...and as for Jemima Puddleduck, well...
     
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  5. octophone

    octophone The Electrocutioner

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    I am an absolute shambles this morning. I'm back in the office and I have totally forgotten how to be around people and have already been scolded for using the word "fuckwit". ( :D )
     
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  6. ButterTart

    ButterTart Egg Custard Tart

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    I remember the day I found out Nick Berry wasn’t edible. Egg on my face, not to mention the blood.
     
  7. octophone

    octophone The Electrocutioner

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    See when I discovered which one out of Timmy Mallett and Mallett's Mallet was actually a mallet, I was stunned, I tell you, STUNNED.
     
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  8. Ag

    Ag BRING BACK TAGS

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    The time I tried to pick Mary Berry was an eye opener. Matt Berry less so.
     
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  9. octophone

    octophone The Electrocutioner

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    Not only is Dr Pepper not a real doctor, he's also not a pepper. Is anything in our world actually REAL?
     
  10. Ag

    Ag BRING BACK TAGS

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    Dr Fox is a huge problem.
     
  11. Kate

    Kate she's for the streets BITCH

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    Going through the bins again is he. Well the Tories on horseback will get him eventually.
     
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  12. Ag

    Ag BRING BACK TAGS

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    Surprisingly Pete Waterman has the same percentage of his body made of water as anyone else.
     
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  13. Soldi

    Soldi I DON’T NEED A HERO

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    Left the house to go for a run in shorts and it’s FREEZING.
     
  14. Ag

    Ag BRING BACK TAGS

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    John Barnes is actually just one barn and a small pig sty.
     
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  15. Indie

    Indie Great Tits IN THE SNOW

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    @octophone revealed to just be a single phone, a Nokia 3310 to be precise.
     
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  16. ZenGiraffe

    ZenGiraffe Let me wash your back for you.

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    Desmond Tutu disappointingly not that good at ballet.
     
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  17. ButterTart

    ButterTart Egg Custard Tart

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    Astounded to discover Kate Bush actually has a Brazilian.
     
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  18. Soldi

    Soldi I DON’T NEED A HERO

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    What’s with the two :eyes: emoticons
     
  19. ZenGiraffe

    ZenGiraffe Let me wash your back for you.

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    :rolleyes:
     
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  20. Soldi

    Soldi I DON’T NEED A HERO

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    There’s no difference between : eyes : and : side-eye : :evil:
     
  21. big ron

    big ron Nude inspector

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    Eidur Gudjohnsen didn't actually have a good johnson.

    #FOOTYBANTS
     
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  22. octophone

    octophone The Electrocutioner

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    eyes is the original - it was changed to side-eye which caused a bit of a dust-up. So now you can use both.

    "eyes" is actually an avatar version of gggggg/Bunty's Magic Vegetable.

    Welcome to The History Channel.
     
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  23. octophone

    octophone The Electrocutioner

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    @Indie is actually signed to Sony.
     
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  24. dmlaw

    dmlaw Democracy doesn't work

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    Gary Sobers actually makes people get drunker.
     
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  25. Ag

    Ag BRING BACK TAGS

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    Amy Winehouse actually was. She became Amy Civil (Fielder) which she was not.
     
  26. Kate

    Kate she's for the streets BITCH

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    True, she was much more polite in bat.
     
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  27. Ag

    Ag BRING BACK TAGS

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    Showing your roots their.
     
  28. octophone

    octophone The Electrocutioner

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    Phil Collins actually leaves me feeling empty.
     
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  29. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT
     
  30. SDF

    SDF We're all Angles in Chainz

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    It’s the last day of my holiday tomorrow :(
     
  31. SDF

    SDF We're all Angles in Chainz

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    Admittedly it’s only 3 days until my next week off but STILL :eyes:
     
  32. vespertine

    vespertine God damn it Claude

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    My little cousin's going for his driving test and it's reminded me of back when I did mine and took the corner so fast the examiner's clipboard flew off his lap and on to mine. :shy:
     
  33. Floppet

    Floppet Spider murderer

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    I made an Excel spreadsheet that will auto-calculate the furlough pay for a client's staff member so the client can submit the claim themselves as my company is no longer submitting the claims and I emailed it over to her on 11th November. She rang at ten to five tonight in hysterics because "I don't know what to do, I'm only a hairdresser, I shouldn't have to do this kind of stuff that's your job and that's what I pay you for!" so I just said "if you open the spreadsheet I sent you everything is on there that you'll need, I've already done the calculation for November so you just copy off there and paste each answer onto HMRC and then make a new tab when you're ready to do December, copy October onto it (31 days) and just type in how many furlough days you want to claim for in December and it'll work it all out for you". I was kind of expecting maybe a "thankyou, that's helpful, I'll have a go" but all I got was screamed at that she's too scared to ring and ask me anything because I'm so patronising, I'm always like that with her, I'm horrible, I make her feel stupid and she doesn't want me anywhere near her wages or accounts anymore! I tried to apologise, said it was never my intention to make anybody feel like that and certainly not her but she was having none of it. After she slammed the phone down on me I went and gave the boss a heads up and she said she'd ring her. I have a feeling they might not be clients for much longer.

    It's left me feeling quite upset, I've never been accused of patronising anybody before.
     
  34. vespertine

    vespertine God damn it Claude

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    Road trip when all this is over @RJN? :disco:
     
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  35. Ellie

    Ellie Super talented triple threat

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    Ugh @Floppet I hate people who won’t even TRY to understand.
     
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  36. RJN

    RJN User

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    :disco:

    I'm going to a wedding in Toronto August 2021 (it should have been August 2020 but...) so I'll pick you up
     
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  37. octophone

    octophone The Electrocutioner

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    Sounds like someone has taken out all their exasperation with the whole situation on you, @Floppet. I've had a few punters like that too.
     
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  38. ButterTart

    ButterTart Egg Custard Tart

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    Yeah, she sounds like someone who'd have kicked off no matter what you said. I imagine she wouldn't have found it patronising if you offered to do the whole thing for her while she put her feet up...
     
  39. Floppet

    Floppet Spider murderer

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    The best part is that she rang, another staff member answered the phone and she specifically asked for me! Why would she do that when I'm always so patronising and horrible to her? There are five other staff members she could have asked for.
     
  40. Floppet

    Floppet Spider murderer

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    It was awful, there's no excuse. We're all having a shit time of it so why would anybody want to make somebody else feel bad for no reason?
     

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