Murder in the kitchen

Discussion in 'Moopy Moop' started by Commotion, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. Commotion

    Commotion User

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    Before Eastenders began I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

    To my horror there was this big fat mouse hovering and shitting beside the toaster.

    Reflexively I grabbed the book lying on the worktop ('Jamie's 15 Minute Meals' - a Christmas gift from my sister) and whacked it over the head.

    There was gore everywhere.

    It was most distressing - the cleanup in particular. Having to wipe the mouse innards from the book cover was even worse than picking the dead mouse up by the tail.

    I need a vodka.
     
  2. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    Does Jamie have any ideas what you can do with it in 15 minutes?
     
  3. Ag

    Ag User

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    At least you didn't waste a good magazine.
     
  4. Samuel

    Samuel User

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    I suspect with a tablespoon of paprika it'll unearth some real "gnarly" flavours.
     
  5. Floppet

    Floppet Spider murderer

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    I'm proud of you Commotion! You can be a member of my mouse-annihilation club. The last one Mr F squashed last year spontaneously aborted which was horrific.

    On a serious note you need to put poison down ASAP because there's never just one mouse and they breed at an amazing rate.
     
  6. Samuel

    Samuel User

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    Once impregnated they give birth within two weeks and usually squeeze out a dozen of the blighters. I was quite shocked to discover this.
     
  7. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Mammal pride

    Shame on you all
     
  8. Commotion

    Commotion User

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    The big red splodge leaking onto the chicken salad page means that I do not think I will be attempting his chicken salad.
     
  9. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    Sounds like my sister.
     
  10. Commotion

    Commotion User

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    My building is over 100 years old - mice are an eternal problem. My cat kicked the bucket earlier this year which makes it worse. I need a new cat as soon as possible.
     
  11. Floppet

    Floppet Spider murderer

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    Mice don't care about cats usually. They do care about snakes and rats though, get a pet snake!
     
  12. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    They often spontaneously abort- I had on in my room at my parents YEARS ago. We put down poison and I came home to find no dead mouse but an ARRAY of quivering half dead mice foetuses in my quilt...
     
  13. Floppet

    Floppet Spider murderer

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    And that dozen can produce their own dozens within a month or so! The original mother can also get pregnant again the same day. Female mice are "in season" every four or five days when not pregnant.
     
  14. Commotion

    Commotion User

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    Hors d'oeuvres. Could go well on a cracker.
     
  15. Floppet

    Floppet Spider murderer

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    That's disgusting but also made me laugh. What a horrible thing to find.
     
  16. Commotion

    Commotion User

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    But wouldn't that mean that within 2 months there would be hundreds of live mice - or do many die and rot in the pipes or something.

    I feel sick and distressed.
     
  17. Ag

    Ag User

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    This topic makes me feel ill.
     
  18. Samuel

    Samuel User

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    That's the worst thing about putting down poison, they try and do a runner and almost inevitably never make it out of the walls/floorboards.
     
  19. Floppet

    Floppet Spider murderer

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    I'm sure I read somewhere that a single pregnant female can be the cause of 14000 babies over the course of a year, when the babies have babies have babies and so on.

    We had to put poison down last year because it sounded like there were loads in the walls and the loft but we never found one dead mouse other than what we caught in traps. So I imagine our walls must be stacked with carcasses, thankfully there hasn't been a bad smell or anything though.
     
  20. Commotion

    Commotion User

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    But surely that can't be true logistically - 14,000 mice over the space of a year would mean that the house would collapse from the weight of them all, plus any house with mice would have a horrendous smell
     
  21. Floppet

    Floppet Spider murderer

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    It's rare to have mice all year round, they usually only come indoors during the winter. The 14000 is a worst case scenario, obviously not all of the babies will get pregant straight away and at every possible season and there wouldn't be enough food to go round so they would be killing each other to eat.
     
  22. PercyPig

    PercyPig The Last of Us

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    Lovely (I feel sick)
     

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