Before Eastenders began I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. To my horror there was this big fat mouse hovering and shitting beside the toaster. Reflexively I grabbed the book lying on the worktop ('Jamie's 15 Minute Meals' - a Christmas gift from my sister) and whacked it over the head. There was gore everywhere. It was most distressing - the cleanup in particular. Having to wipe the mouse innards from the book cover was even worse than picking the dead mouse up by the tail. I need a vodka.