NEWS: New replacement announced

Discussion in 'Celebdaq' started by Madison, Jul 16, 2010.

  1. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    There was just an announcement on the CBBC channel. Josef Ratzinger AKA POPE BENEDICT XVI is joining the broom cupboard and will be tormenting Crane with theological pronouncements.

    The Cardinals are already heading to Rome for this weekend's conclave to elect the next Pope.

    Who do you think the potential candidates are?
     
  2. Tisch

    Tisch Tizzy

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    I've heard Fatima Whitbread's keen. But someone would have to replace her in the jungle...
     
  3. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    Andy Crane is flying over Australia as we speak.

    BBC now desperately searching for someone to talk down to Pope Benedict in the broom cupboard.
     
  4. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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  5. Ag

    Ag BRING BACK TAGS

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    I hear Anders Behring Breivik is going to entering the BROOM CUPBOARD from Monday to be antagonised by Pope Benedict XVI.

    But WHO is going to go on trial for the NORWAY BOMBING and GUN MASSACRE?
     
  6. Shirley

    Shirley BIG-HEARTED BUNNY

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    Well that HAS to be LULU again

    But who is going to take over the role as BBC defence and security correspondent that she took over from CAROLINE WYATT earlier in this topic?
     
  7. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    my HEAD is a-SPINNIN'
     
  8. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Keep up old man. Peter Jackson is the current defence and security correspondent.

    We're now stuck with Diddy's rubbish suggestion again. Who will take Lulu's place as someone dying and in a coma in the US.

    I HOPE IT'S SOMEONE WITH A CURRENT JOB. YOU KNOW, SOMEONE WHO WOULD NEED A REPLACEMENT. ONE THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE TIMETRAVEL OR FREAKY-FRIDAYESQUE TRANSFERS OF SOUL.
     
  9. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    You're in LUCK, Madison

    The opportunity to lie dying and in a coma in the US was just too good to resist for TROLL DOG HAT HAT GIRL from X Factor's Little Mix, and she will be leaving the show tomorrow to pursue this opportunity

    Who will now fill this massive gap to be the lovably ludicrous 4th member of a brilliantly average girlband with outrageous fashion sense, deep image insecurities and an outrageous Essex accent?

    STAY TUNED KIDS
     
  10. Mugatu

    Mugatu onlyfans.com/mugatu

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    [​IMG]

    Charles-Louis de Secondat, Baron de La Brède et de Montesquieu remains tight-lipped on the hot new girlgroup vacancy, fearing that his lack of current employment will mean he misses out. John Fashanu has also slipped to 25/1 to link up with pop's hottest new Belle Amie tribute act, the former Gladiators star citing "a need to finish tiling the outside loo".
     
  11. Shirley

    Shirley BIG-HEARTED BUNNY

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    I've heard it might be GROOVIN' GRANNY KELLY LLORENNA

    But if she takes up this position, who will fill her VITAL ROLE as the FOGHORN at ISLE OF PORTLAND LIGHTHOUSE?
     
  12. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    I heard JUDITH CHALMERS was interested but she didn't want to limit herself to ONE LIGHTHOUSE

    The offer has now been passed to JANE ASHER - we're all just waiting by the phone now... of course if she takes it there's going to be a MASSIVE SCRAMBLE to fill the gap in the British cake market, not to mention a hasty rewriting of every French & Saunders episode in HISTORY :o
     
  13. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    JESY from Little Mix has stunned everyone by quitting the band and becoming the lighthouse foghorn.

    I wonder who the new member of Little Mix will be?
     
  14. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    erm she took LULU'S place about FOUR POSTS AGO

    are you DRUNK? :(
     
  15. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Let's abuse mod powers and rewind time
     
  16. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Contrary to previous reports, Jesy (previously from Little Mix) is not taking the role of lighthouse fog horn.

    Instead, Nina Wadia has taken the job.


    Eastenders producers are recasting Zainab with auditions taking place over the next 48 hours.
     
  17. Shirley

    Shirley BIG-HEARTED BUNNY

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    HOISTED by your own PETARD
     
  18. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    I have no idea what you mean :evil:
     
  19. Tisch

    Tisch Tizzy

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    Bryan Kirkwood was thrilled to announce yesterday that the part of Zabnab Masood would be played by Mustafa Abdul Jalil. Of course, he'll need someone to fill in his duties as President of Libya at this turbulent time.
     
  20. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    oh who cares about a flailing African country when there's a gap in the Eastenders cast list!

    That was a tragedy WAITING TO HAPPEN!
     
  21. Tisch

    Tisch Tizzy

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    Oh yeah, I'm relieved it's been sorted. I don't think I can face a world without Zainab.
     
  22. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Indie has just been announced as the new President of Libya.

    Looks like we'll need a replacement member of the Admin team for Moopy.
     
  23. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    So it only took a full year but DANIELLA WESTBROOK has been drafted in as a moopy admin team member.

    Coke dealers across London are now lining up auditions to replace her as their main source of income.

    Can I just say as an aside though: Indie has done a HORRIBLE job in Libya so far...
     
  24. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Something's gone horribly wrong. Jesy was the Greek Prime Minister, not a member of a girlband.
     
  25. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Nina Wadia must have inadvertently become Greek PM.
     
  26. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    this is what happens when you don't keep up with the news

    So how many vacancies do we need filling now? I hear Jade Ewan isn't busy at the moment, maybe she could double up.
     
  27. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Only the one coke vacancy. Frozen is still a member of Little Mix
     
  28. funky

    funky OH SHE’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK

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    oh phew. That's much less to worry about.

    I'm going to endorse Jade on youtube, maybe it'll go viral.
     
  29. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Who ended up taking Jade Ewen's place in the Sugababes?
     
  30. Sharla

    Sharla The Resistance

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    There were rumours Samantha Lewthwaite was close to being offered the gig after wowing managers via Skype, but visa issues proved tricky.
     
  31. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    I think this was my favourite post :D
     
  32. Kratz

    Kratz Pearl in the shell.

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    Nicola Sturgeon set to ink a deal if Scotland regrets independence.
     
  33. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    That would explain why President Rouhani is returning to his Glasgow roots. He must be putting his experience of fervent nationalism and brainwashing to good use as Deputy SNP leader.

    I wonder who the Guardian Council will select for the next President of Iran?
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2014
  34. Penelope

    Penelope SMIRKING LESBIAN MOON

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    Weren't the SNP sent to NORTHERN IRELAND a few years back? Who replaced them as the thinly-veiled analogs of Yes Scotland?

    In lighter news VoR has received the blessing of the Guardian Council to become the President of Iran (pending his conversion to Islam), though now the Guardian needs a replacement freelance Eurovision correspondent.
     
  35. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    I just read Koko the Gorilla's article on why the UK does poorly ('Bad singer make Koko sad').

    I feel really sorry for the zoologists in California. Who are they going to study now?
     
  36. Penelope

    Penelope SMIRKING LESBIAN MOON

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    I didn't know Koko followed Eurovision. What's the equivalent of league football for gorillas?
     
  37. Kratz

    Kratz Pearl in the shell.

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    Cilla Black has just been spotted at Heathrow boarding an LA bound flight. Looks like she has got the nod, as many have been predicting.

    No news on who we can expect to prop up the Shadow Lounge bar yet.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2014
  38. Penelope

    Penelope SMIRKING LESBIAN MOON

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    Laura Linney's the name ALL OVER Twitter at the moment, although I don't know whether the fine residents of Wokingham could put up with ANOTHER by-election in this parliament...
     
  39. Penelope

    Penelope SMIRKING LESBIAN MOON

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    Laura Linney confirmed to be Cilla's replacement in the Shadow Lounge, meaning we've got another by-election in Wokingham. Word is Douglas Carswell's going to move the writ so it's the same day as Rochester and Strood, Ukip certainly aren't going to want to take their chances with the Beard Party after Suomi's victory in the European elections earlier this year...
     
  40. Madison

    Madison Everything goes up by six

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    Are there any candidates yet?
     

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