One Direction Wank Bank, Dodgy Tattoos and Banter Thread

I've long since gone off Liam. But rather more worryingly, those new Shawn Mendes Calvin Klein pics have got my knickers fluttering.

I've become one of THOSE old gays, obviously.

 

I can't stop thinking about all of Liam and Naomi Campbell's mind-blowing sex but Niall is slowly transforming into the really fit one from Misfits, here's an update from my personal Twitter account:

 

That photo isn't working, and now I'm all juiced up with nowhere to go

 

I imagine it's this.

 

Oh my!

 

*fans furiously*

 

ok I need help cause I've fallen and I cannot get up HELP

 

*saved*

 

How unhygienic. I hope it’s wipe clean.

 

I volunteer to wipe it!

 

Nobody else SCREAMING that they haven’t photoshopped his reflection?

 

It’s just at a different (albeit less flattering) angle isn’t it?

 

FINALLY Liam Payne does something I’m interested in. Onlyfans/spread cheeks next pls

 

The reflection IS odd. He looks like he's got a 40" waist in it, which clearly isn't true either.

I'd like an inch or two more crack, anyway please.

 

I’d like him to put a laminate cushion down first.

 

I don’t really think it’s doctored, having sucked all the fun out looking at that picture to check. I think it’s a combination of the double glazing blurring it, the different angle, and the chair blocking the edges of his body so it looks like it just goes and goes.

Well anyway I’m not trying to defend him, he’s a prick and his arse is 7/10

 

Yeah keep focusing on the reflection girls

 

It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only person to have spent the last 20 minutes leafing through the Large Penis Support Group, it's like FmForums but somehow more downmarket.

 

Everytime I see THAT PIC I just wish I was the chair

 

What's that last pic? I can't see it.

(For a friend)

 

Me too hun

Keep refreshing lol

 

Ohh what was the last picture??

I’m asking for a friend (Alla)

 

Assume was this ?

 

The FACE!

 

i think he was sedated ?
I mean when you listen to him he sounds barely there.

 

Somehow the more he shows (and the harder he tries), the less attractive he gets.

 

(Still like a cock pic, obvs)

 

I'M CRYING.

 

He looks great

Well his body does, he looks like he fell asleep with his dick stuck in something

 

omg I'm dying over here throw me a fan

 

And to think there's MORE to CUM.

 

serving ancient greek chav.
i don't know why but i find it really sad when celebrities do shit like this. you wanna show off your body? call any decent photographer and do a charity calender naked, shoot a video naked, get paparazzi to take pictures of you naked.

hiding with a bit of curtain in front of tacky plastic joinery looking like you've just fainted while trying to take a hot piss is not on.

 

I agree it’s tacky, but I’m not sure I agree that a charity calendar or a paparazzi setup is any less tacky

Imagine your youth club not having enough money for a snooker table to stop gun crime simply by public goodwill, but only getting it funded because an ex 1D member showed his arse crack

And don’t trust the paparazzi, they’ll just show you looking haggard

 

i think a lot of trashy celebs pay paps and have their arses nice and airbrushed.
also, hasn't everyone seen his crack already? go hole, or go home, 1d person!

 

I agree with @ameraal but as of now, even though he's clearly a good looking young lad and talanted* but clearly they haven't had an idea how to MARKET HIM, just like the SG when they went solo they had a niche market for everyone. They've been spending so much money on him to small returns; he has released trap music, ballads, reggeton to no avail and since he's been groomed since he was barely a teen he doesn't know how to do anything else hence why he's now getting naked at every little chance he has.

I Find it weird how he has time to take care of his body cause it's not that easy to achieve THAT yet we're unsure about his parenting skills.

**by today's standards anyway

 

Who is he? He looks so average.

 

Raspberry as CURRENT as usual.

 

I'd personally would like to see more of the arse please