NEWS: SHEENA HOTLIST 2009

Discussion in 'Celebdaq' started by Sheena, Jan 28, 2009.

  1. Christian

    Christian GOOD BYE!

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    JUST IN: Judy Nunn FITSEX tape to include the previously banned video for the Sleazesisters remix of "Penny Up Me Guy". Apparently it's a GOGGLES FRENZY :disco:
     
  2. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    Oh I AM pleased, I thought that would stay in the vaults FOREVER alongside her version of Rustie's "Butter Me Up"

    In ENTIRELY UNRELATED NEWS a quick bout of Wiki-ing this morning suggests that "Gritter", Faloola Chong's 2001 opus, has now sold enough to be certified 33 times platinum! That's pretty ASTONISHING when you consider that a platinum disc in Finland is 500,000 copies and the Finnish population is actually only 5.2 million...
     
  3. Shirley

    Shirley BIG-HEARTED BUNNY

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    I've just got a WHITE LABEL of 'I've Got A Michael Gove Vibrator' by SEX-O-SONIC featuring BETTY

    I've never heard such FILTH since I inadvisedly listened to Enid's 'Pop My Clitty'
     
  4. loomer

    loomer User

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    You know, I really had hoped that 'Lesbanian Boy (From Beyond The GRAVE Mix)' by Estelle Getty Featuring Fred West would have made it in this week. It got as high as #14 on iTunes in Lithuania.
     
  5. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    The Rubbish Gais' "I've Met Claire Sweeney, You Know" has now been ABANDONED and it looks like RECENT developments have left them DROPPED and WITHOUT A RECORD LABEL :o

    More on this EXCITING DEVELOPMENT when I can be bothered to stop BASHING MY HEAD AGAINST THE KEYBOARD in utter FRUSTRATION
     
  6. Christian

    Christian GOOD BYE!

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    So I presume Claire's "amazing, amazing, amazing" (© The Tamil Tigers Gazette) tour of 'The Diary Of Anne Frank - ON ICE' is now on, er, ice? I think she was going to use the release of that single to drum up a bit of publicity for the show.
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2009
  7. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    I can't say I know, Chrissy. Though I DID hear that when she was trying to get into character, Claire shut herself in her airing cupboard for SIX MONTHS with only water and those weird Hovis sweet biscuits you get in boxes of biscuits for cheese.

    That's why you haven't seen her on tv. Or so her PUBLICIST says...
     
  8. Shirley

    Shirley BIG-HEARTED BUNNY

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    'I've Met Claire Sweeney' was going to FLOP anyway

    It's no 'Nicki French Is A Lovely Person'
     
  9. loomer

    loomer User

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    Jeanette Krankie's "It's 'Oribble Being In Love When You're 78 1/2" just got on the E List of Cheadle Hospital Radio FM, so I think that must be one of the hottest new releases.
     
  10. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    How is 'Fat As A House But Somehow Only A Size 10 (Vanessa Feltz Re-Remix)' by Colleen Nolan going down on the Cheadle club scene? Everyone knows that's the barometer of WHAT'S HOT.
     
  11. Shirley

    Shirley BIG-HEARTED BUNNY

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    It's not TAKEN OFF as much as you MIGHT THINK yet

    But just wait until the PRINCESS MARGARET APPRECIATION SOCIETY remix gets out
     
  12. loomer

    loomer User

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    I've heard that the Shilpa Shetty Bollywood Orchestra are planning a Sinitta influenced Hi-NRG cover of "Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead", in a bid to attract the pink pound.

    Some Lambrusco quaffing naysayers at the Cheadle Travelodge (which was opened by Lenny Henry in 1981) suggested it was an opportunistic way of cashing in on her recent undeserved fame via a tacky TV show, but Queen SIN was having none of it and thought it an honour her enduring music lasts down the ages, even though she herself would never stoop to reality TV.
     
  13. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    I think you've got your sources wrong there, LOOMS. Sinitta's new album "65 If I'm A Day" is taking up ALL of her time at the moment.

    She hasn't even had time to buy any LUDICROUS outfits for next year's X Factor...
     
  14. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    The NAYSAYERS at the Cheadle Travelodge should WATCH OUT

    Don't they know that Sinitta can PLAY WITH TIME?
     
  15. Christian

    Christian GOOD BYE!

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    :moira: JUST IN: Sinitta Mean Time (SMT) is to be introduced around the world on 1 June 2009.

    The Greenwich Observatory will be detonated as part of the global festivities celebrating the fact that ever youthful hitmaker and all round international treasure Sinitta (37) will henceforth have power over the very fabric of space and time itself.

    Her first act following the introduction of SMT will be add 10 years to everyone's age and subtract 25 from hers.
     
  16. loomer

    loomer User

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    SINITTA is actually a MAINSTAY on our local dive theatre bar's jukebox. They even had CRUISING :disco:
     
  17. Christian

    Christian GOOD BYE!

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    I love Cruisin. It reeks of POPPERS in some MID 80S GAY DIVE.

    :disco:
     
  18. loomer

    loomer User

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    All the more hilarious when you consider the furore over its more famous flip-side. Our SIN liked to show BOTH points of view
     
  19. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    "Cruising" is, of course, QUITE FABULOUS but it's NO MATCH for Carol Vorderman's new single "Two From The Top (And God Knows What Else Elsewhere)" which I reckon could challenge Su Pollard on the next hotlist and NO MISTAKE :disco:
     
  20. Sild

    Sild New balls please

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    Won't the inclusion of a First Plus loan sticker make it chart ineligible? I've heard rumblings that her PR team are going into OVERDRIVE about it :o
     
  21. loomer

    loomer User

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    Well I thought the Club's appearance on the Michael Jackson charity single "You've Got Me Dangling On A String" was unfairly pilloried.
     
  22. loomer

    loomer User

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    More! What's going down in DOWNTOWN Cheadle? Eric West made any impact yet? I heard he was on the top 100.
     
  23. loomer

    loomer User

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    UPDATE: Wiki are keeping West's page as a joke. I DID try :(
     
  24. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    Any HOTLIST updates?

    I'm DRIPPING at the CLUNGE in anticipation of what Geri is going to pull out of the bag for Jade Goody
     
  25. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    Don't worry Lolly, I hear Geri is in the studio laying down vocals (well, speaking them) for her Jade Goody benefit single as we SPEAK

    I've heard on the GRAPEVINE it'll be a CANCERTASTIC double aside with the John Inman duetted Wendy Richard tribute "Are You Being Cremated?", which APPARENTLY is being debuted on next week's opening "Dancing With Niggers" show in which a series of newsreaders and former soap stars patronise members of the Afro-Carribean community by attempting to be "down", wearing jeans below their waistbands, carrying knives and, in the case of GMTV "favourite" Fiona Phillips, having her fanny pierced and changing her name to Pernacia Labelle.

    According to Ladbrookes the favourites for the title would appear to be the pairings of Michael Burke and Patti Boulaye, former rap star Mark Morrison and Dame Liz Smith and the ultimate bald pairing of Duncan Goodhew and Bertice Reading competing, of course, from BEYOND the GRAVE...
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2009
    Shirley likes this.
  26. loomer

    loomer User

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    I'm telling the DAILY TELEGRAPH on you, STAT :manson:








    *giggles with LIBERAL WHITE GUILT*
     
  27. funky

    funky INCAPABLE

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    No BEVERLEY KNIGHT, or LIONEL RICHIE?

    I mean, they do EVERYTHING ELSE so I thought a bit of "DWN" was a GIVEN...

    I wonder if dear Rustie will have time outside of her commitments to write the London 2012 theme tune to be on the JUDGING PANEL?
     
  28. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    Rustie isn't on the judging panel but WILL, apparently, be appearing at the final to hand over the "Golden Mango" to the winner and perform her new single "Don't Fritter Away My Love (Rustie's Gonna Getcha)"
     
  29. funky

    funky INCAPABLE

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    Shame - she would have made the perfect MENTOR during KNIVES week...
     
  30. funky

    funky INCAPABLE

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    I'm also not convinced of her choice of single given it leaked at the Cheadle Rave Convention SIX MONTHS AGO, I mean the label just don't have a CLUE anymore do they?

    I definitely would have gone with "Encore Une Foie Gras", especially Daft Punk's beautifully Parisian "Fuck A Duck" remix...
     
  31. Christian

    Christian GOOD BYE!

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    Never fear though Funk, I have it on good authority that Derek Griffiths WILL be taking part after all, despite the supposed scheduling clash with Harpic TV's debut show "It's All Go With Your 'Fro".

    Apparently, a clause in the contract WILL let him participate as long he becomes the black face of the Ulrika Johnson "Wet Dem Keks" incontinence awareness campaign.
     
  32. funky

    funky INCAPABLE

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    oh I AM pleased

    Oprah is such a HITLER with her contracts isn't she? We all know about her reaction after Jennifer Hudson DARED to win an Oscar during filming of "From Ghetto To Get Down", thus stealing Oprah's THUNDER...

    Not that I'm one to GOSSIP but Oprah knows more about Jennifer's family tragedy than she's LETTING ON...
     
  33. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    I've just heard a rumour that much like the rest of the country, Joan Bakewell is fucked off waiting for Jade to die and is therefore releasing her version of 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead' (featuring Shilpa Shetty and the Bollywood Munchkins) direct to iTunes next Monday, whether Jade has a pulse or not.

    Can anyone confirm?
     
  34. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    Afraid that's just the rumour mill working OVERTIME Lols

    The ENTIRE WORLD and his GIDDY AUNT knows that "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead" is being kept ON ICE until YOU KNOW WHO kicks her Scottish bucket...
     
  35. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    Oh SILLY GULLIBLE ME

    I should have remembered, after someone QUITE RIGHTLY pointed out that when that momentous occasion FINALLY happens, it will be the first time that the entire Hotlist will be made up of competing versions of the same song
     
  36. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    Well yes, that and "I've Never Been To Cheadle 2010"...
     
  37. loomer

    loomer User

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    "Please Sir, I want some MORE"

    [​IMG]

    Said an impatient Oliver.

    Unfortunately he didn't realise that it was Gary Glitter was giving him the soggy slop from the other end.
     
  38. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    If RUMOURS are to be believed, RUSTY LEE is teaming up with JAMIE OLIVER on her next single "Too Many Cooks (Spoil The Chatshow)". But TYPICALLY for Rusty and her REVUE, the twist is that, thanks to new TIME BENDING TECHNOLOGY, she will actually be duetting with Jamie when he was SEVEN YEARS OLD. "I thought he was too much of a cunt to deal with today" the straight talking Carribean superstar commented.

    In the absence of ANY updates to the Hotlist chart due to not being able to sit down and think of ANYTHING Geri might record for POOR DEAR DEAD JADE GOODY (and that isn't an INVITE to offer anything), have a still from the recording sessions...a HOTLIST EXCLUSIVE

    [​IMG]
     
  39. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    New Hotlist Top Ten


    1. (1) POKER FACE (Lady Gaga) 11 wks
    2. (NEW) DON’T UPSET THE RHYTHM (Noisettes) 1 wk
    3. (2) RIGHT ROUND (Flo-rida feat Ke$ha) 4 wks
    4. (9) HALO (Beyonce) 4 wks
    5. (20) JAI HO! (YOU ARE MY DESTINY) (AR Rahman & Pussycat Dolls) 2 wks
    6. (5) LOVE STORY (Taylor Swift) 6 wks
    7. (6) DEAD AND GONE (T.I. feat Justin Timberlake) 9 wks
    8. (8) BEAUTIFUL (Akon) 14 wks
    9. (22) SHAKE IT (Metro Station) 4 wks
    10. (7) MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU (Kelly Clarkson) 5 wks
     
  40. funky

    funky INCAPABLE

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    that's the FUNNIEST ONE YET
     

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