The shocking truth about Kelly Llorenna

Discussion in 'Pop Toilet' started by Ag, Jan 16, 2016.

  1. Ag

    Ag User

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    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2016
    Penelope likes this.
  2. straightorbroken

    straightorbroken Trust the Duchess

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    It's not even a bad picture, she really does look like that. Her album was called All Clubbed Up, who knew it was meant literally.
     
  3. Penelope

    Penelope AND SHAVE OUR EYEBROWS

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    Apparently the agog gay looks like a thumb these days :(
     
  4. Kalabaliken

    Kalabaliken Judging you in Google Translate

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    The shocking truth is that she is NOT forty. Try about ten years older! :D
     
  5. PJL

    PJL User

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    Oh, I thought she looked a bit old for her age. Only I thought her age was 47.
     
  6. Halli

    Halli sippin' champagne from a paper cup

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    She needs to get herself on CBB
     
  7. Eileen

    Eileen All the better to see you with, my dear.

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    The bloke who runs the N-Trance Facebook page INSISTED she was 16 when Set You Free was recorded when I asked.
     
  8. Shirley

    Shirley YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS

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    Obviously it was recorded in 1981 then. How PIONEERING
     
    Penelope and Ellie like this.
  9. Mugatu

    Mugatu Ladministrator

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    I'm sure she was 58 on Wikipedia a few weeks ago.
     
  10. Ag

    Ag User

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    Wiki says 40. Five years my senior!!
     
  11. straightorbroken

    straightorbroken Trust the Duchess

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    To think she was once Dannii's biggest, and only, rival.
     
  12. Ag

    Ag User

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    Now Dannii is free to own the charts unrivalled.
     
  13. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    Still the worst thing to happen to British music in the last 50 years.

    Or judging by that picture, 500...
     
  14. Euphoria

    Euphoria User

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    Come again? :D I would say she's quite an inexplicable figure to intensely dislike. It would be like hating someone like the person who only sang Set You Free... oh.
     
  15. Sharla

    Sharla The Resistance

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    In the People's Republic of Britain that will be created when Corbyn wins the election, Kelly will be one of the first hauled in front of Ken Loach's Truth & Reconciliation Committees for this crime against culture.

    [video=youtube;rUsOURk6h84]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUsOURk6h84[/video]
     
  16. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    I'm not joking. Kelly Llorenna went through a phase (ie- HER CAREER) of taking just about EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS EVER and destroying it. "I Will Love Again", "This Time I Know It's For Real", "Dress You Up", "Tell It To My Heart".

    FUCKING BITCH
     
  17. monsta

    monsta CAUGHT YOUR FEVER

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    I forgot about Dress You Up!

    FUCK ME!
     
  18. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    WHAT A CUNT
     
  19. RobotBoy

    RobotBoy BANG BANG

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    My favourite pop star of all time :disco:
     
  20. Halli

    Halli sippin' champagne from a paper cup

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    Heart of Gold tho :disco:
     
  21. VoR

    VoR Forever in our hearts #Justice4Barb

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    Llorennarate :disco:

    10 Set You Free
    08 Brighter Day
    07 One Day I'll Fly Away
    08 True Love Never Dies
    08 Tell It To My Heart
    10 Forever
    05 This Time I Know It's For Real
    08 Nobody Like You
    06 I Will Love Again
    05 Before You Love Me
    06 Dress You Up
     
  22. VoR

    VoR Forever in our hearts #Justice4Barb

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    Her flop 90s solo single Brighter Day is such a HONKING delight.



    She was 21 when she shot that video, allegedly. DON'T DOUBT IT FOR A MINUTE KEL :basil:
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2017
  23. Zu-Klara

    Zu-Klara Allt sem ég sá...

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    Oh God I'd forgotten that she covered 'This Time I Know It's For Real'

    SCAB
     
  24. straightorbroken

    straightorbroken Trust the Duchess

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    I love that one.

    There aren't many 'hidden gems' in her catalogue as such, but the song they were going with before Brighter Day (to launch her as the next Kelly Marie) was called All I Wanna Do ("is make sweet love to you"). The Voodoo & Serano edit of Forever was such a step up for all of them, it's a shame it was followed up by ever cheaper this-will-do releases.
     
  25. VoR

    VoR Forever in our hearts #Justice4Barb

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    It is admittedly a less creative reading than her haunting interpretation of 'One Day I'll Fly Away'.
     
  26. wendy the goat

    wendy the goat PS1 Hagrid is sick of your shit

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    PREACH :disco:
    (Although I have had the Hixxy Remix of Forever as my ringtone on my phone for the last 9 years :shy: )
     
  27. Mugatu

    Mugatu Ladministrator

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    What does she actually do now? I'm presuming just low-rent gay clubs and the state pension but some new material could bring her unique appeal to a whole new generation of hardcore club kids.

    I love her turning up on Radio 1 to perform Set You Free, flanked by uncomfortable production staff and adoring fans definitely not looking embarrassed for her:

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2017
  28. Halli

    Halli sippin' champagne from a paper cup

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    The piss taking look that production woman does just after 1.03secs
     
  29. Ag

    Ag User

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    It's great to hear her vocals on top form:

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2017
  30. straightorbroken

    straightorbroken Trust the Duchess

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    Actually, because of that clip mugatu posted (when she was going as Lola Leethal as lead singer of FreakAsylum), I wonder if she's maybe just had a kid, survived cancer, or went cold turkey off the chems. That unreleased FreakAsylum album is basically everything Sarah Harding should have came out with and more (Fetish and Wasted in particular would have been awesome sung by the walker of primrose).
     
  31. RobotBoy

    RobotBoy BANG BANG

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    10 Set You Free
    07 Brighter Day
    05 One Day I'll Fly Away
    10 True Love Never Dies
    10 Tell It To My Heart
    10 Forever
    10 This Time I Know It's For Real
    06 Nobody Like You
    08 I Will Love Again
    08 Before You Love Me
    06 Dress You Up
     
  32. VoR

    VoR Forever in our hearts #Justice4Barb

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    That's grim on at least five different levels.

    That tragic tit shake!
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2017
  33. Ag

    Ag User

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    I really like that a drink hit the window behind her. What a venue. What a woman. What a career.
     
  34. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    10 Set You Free
    ?? Brighter Day
    00 One Day I'll Fly Away
    00 True Love Never Dies
    00 Tell It To My Heart
    00 Forever
    00 This Time I Know It's For Real
    ?? Nobody Like You
    00 I Will Love Again
    00 Before You Love Me
    -1 Dress You Up

    And I'm NOT EVEN JOKING :D
     
  35. RaspberrySwirl

    RaspberrySwirl Leftover

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    Maybe she's just into meth.
     
  36. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    Probably one of those weird FAG HAGS that tries to get an invite to a gay orgy and has a Grindr profile

    YOU KNOW THE SORT
     
  37. RaspberrySwirl

    RaspberrySwirl Leftover

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    I HATE that sort.
     
  38. Sheena

    Sheena MAKE IT QUICK, LUCILLE!

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    Who DOESN'T?
     
  39. Halli

    Halli sippin' champagne from a paper cup

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    Why is Heart of Gold not being included in these rates?!
     
  40. Ag

    Ag User

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    15/10 A precious jewel to which I was sold

    SHINE BRIGHT KELLY
     

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