They gave up on this election campaign before it began. People still talk authoritatively about student fees who have never been. It's barely worth whining about to me as a new student paying £9k a year.
I've taken FRIDAY OFF WORK cause I'm SO EXCITED I'm gonna be UP ALL NIGHT telling you how JANET STREET-PORTER has GRABBED LOWER PLUMSTEAD from JUDITH CHALMERS on a 14.5% SWING
I've also taken Friday off. Getting the wine in and my ladybird guide to announcing times. I've pencilled in a 6am bedtime sometime after South Thanet declares.
I expect Nick Clegg to be reelected, so that leaves the charming Esther McVey, Farage and Douglas Alexander as candidates for this year's Portillo Moment. Although he's a complete damp squib I hope Douglas stays, if only because that 20 year old SNP girl comes across as a right cunt, and I worry the scrutiny and pressure that comes with being an MP will drive her to an earlier than expected dependency on alcohol. I forgot: George Galloway losing would be by far the most satisfying moment.
I hadn't even thought about that. ARSE. I've got a meeting at 12.00pm I really shouldn't miss, but could probably get away with not getting in until then. That should let me stay up until 4am or so...
I have also been iPlayer watching election programs. These BBC Parliament re showings all seem to be on iPlayer. They always appear about 5 years ahead of everything else on TV.
I can't stay up as I'm flying to Amsterdam at Friday lunchtime and I have a big night out planned. Might last till 2am or so.
In traditional years I usually wait for a declaration of victory or someone conceding defeat. There will of course be no landmark this year, unless something awful or wonderful happens. Really hoping for some big defeats and surprising wins. I expect some of the individual results will be the best part of this election (potential defeat of Farage, Clegg and other Lib Dems). The big Scotland reveal of course is a slower process. The Orkneys/ Shetlands normally don't normally come for about 18 hours. I don't how I feel about potentially instant results with the possibility of future electronic voting.
I'll stay up if the Beeb have managed to corral drunken Joan Collins and other slebs onto a boat again to pretend they know what's happening
I do hope so! They showed a bit of that on the Peter Snow show with Andrew Neil asking BRUCIE what he thought of the EXIT POLL
For those who are staying up late to watch the results,. there's a list of when each constituency is expected to declare results here: http://election.pressassociation.com/Declaration_times/general_2015_by_time.php
I must admit to being quite intrigued by channel 4's election night offering this year. It'll probably last twenty minutes before I get fed up of adverts.
What are they doing? They always offer something decent, but I always revert to form and go BBC. Does anyone even dare look at ITVs coverage?
Yeah it looks good! Paxman & Mitchell doing "alternative" coverage, plus a Last Leg and a Gogglebox Charlie Brooker's Election Wipe tonight as well.
Don't forget Richard from Pointless! ITV's coverage is apparently advert free. But quite frankly who gives a shit.
Ooh I hadn't noticed <3 Has anyone been watching Ballot Monkeys? The UKIP bits are the funniest of course.
ITV are AWFUL. I recall them totting on results onto the tallies before they'd even been officially announced in 2010. DO IT PROPERLY OR GO BACK TO CORRIE That said BBC were utter crap last time. I can appreciate the chart show-style argument that you don't want it as pure dry statistics and results, but frankly at least ANNOUNCING each new result properly when it comes in (and having a split screen for what the change is for that result) would be a decent halfway house in the middle of the endless interviews with the JUNIOR MINISTER FOR MINCING
No no darling he was reshuffled to become the UNDERSECRETARY for COIFFURE, it's ALAN DUNCAN these days
WHO IS SHE?! http://i.STOP FUNDING HATE.co.uk/i/pix/2014/05/10/article-2624809-1DB30F3F00000578-572_634x442.jpg
Well that's MY sordid nonpenetrative sex sessions with Owen Jones well and truly RUMBLED *flicks ALLEGEDLY ENHANCED BOUFFANT* Now I shall never be able to sell my MEMOIRS to the WEEKLY NEWS
There's some debate going on on Facebook / Isle of Wight pages about Rob Da Bank who runs the Bestival over here. He's apparently said if UKIP get in then the Bestival leaves the island. Sadly UKIP do seem popular here for some shocking reason. Stupid inbred islanders.
I somehow can't see UKIP gaining any seats. They're about the least popular they've been for a long while in polling.
I wish they were unpopular here. The amount of houses I've seen with UKIP posters in is shocking. It seems to be neck and neck on online polls between UKIP and greens.
