Wednesday charges £500 for an autograph

Discussion in 'Moopy Moop' started by COB, Sep 16, 2020.

  1. COB

    COB Pop it in here thanks

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    Fame costs, and here's where you start paying :angry:
     
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  2. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    I don’t have £500, can you just sneeze on this tissue for me?
     
  3. COB

    COB Pop it in here thanks

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    Fine, I'll do it for £100 and a promise you won't dob me in to Covid Sherrif Star :shock:

    I'm finding it very hard to get out of bed today. I've taken Friday off, but that feels really far away just now :(
     
  4. Iguana

    Iguana One two CHA CHA CHA

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    I really thought about how 6 months ago it was nearly impossible to buy toilet paper. That seems like a long time ago :zombie:

    MORNING!
     
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  5. Suomi

    Suomi User

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    I’m getting ready again, I’m picking up one handsoap with every shop
     
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  6. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    omg somehow I forgot about COVID :D what a shame
     
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  7. Iguana

    Iguana One two CHA CHA CHA

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    It's probably not a bad plan!

    We still have loads of tinned fruit left from last time :D
     
  8. big ron

    big ron Nude inspector

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    Weve got a load of pulses from last time but we’ll start eating them more as it gets cooler.
     
  9. big ron

    big ron Nude inspector

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    I’ve been awake since 5am. Got up at 6 to send some emails to America even though they wont get read for 12 hours
     
  10. Lucille

    Lucille The Duchess of Quim

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    I actually polished off my lentil and chickpea stash this week, just have half a packet of BROWN pasta I can’t quite face. :zombie:
     
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  11. Tisch

    Tisch Superwomaning

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  12. ButterTart

    ButterTart Ты меня не тролль!

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    In our Zoom meeting this morning we’re having an office OSCARS. People have actually DRESSED UP as if it’s an actual awards show.
    I’m outside having a smoke because I’ve told my boss in no uncertain terms that I’d sooner set fire to my ballbag than get involved with that shit.
     
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  13. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    Oh fuck, is it 'amusing' categories? One made up for everyone so it's FAIR? Do you have to give speeches?

    My arsehole is clenching (and not in the good way) just thinking about it.
     
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  14. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    The OLD ME would have been laughing and may have mentioned it in passing to a colleague at work.

    The NEW ME realises that makes it dangerously likely that some fucking twat in the office would think it's a good idea.
     
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  15. ButterTart

    ButterTart Ты меня не тролль!

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    You couldn’t swipe a credit card between my cheeks ever since they told us about it. I can hear cackling so I assume they’re comedy categories, and I’ve heard my name mentioned so I assume I was nominated for something. There are people sat in the office wearing fancy gloves and fucking tiaras.
     
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  16. Lucille

    Lucille The Duchess of Quim

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    BARELY.
     
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  17. Lucille

    Lucille The Duchess of Quim

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    My 20 minute bus journey has so far taken 50 and is only half way.
     
  18. Lucille

    Lucille The Duchess of Quim

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    The traffic in London has been horrendous recently, I presume as people are driving to work?
     
  19. Lucille

    Lucille The Duchess of Quim

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    Meanwhile I’m the only person the bus.
     
  20. ButterTart

    ButterTart Ты меня не тролль!

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    I’ve had my certificate through. I won the award for ‘gentle giant’.
    I’m the only person in the office who clears six foot and I’m most known for my anti-government rants and aggressively pro-union stance, so it’s almost as if they couldn’t think of anything worthwhile to say about me. Glad all the work I’ve done keeping the place running in the last six months has been acknowledged.
     
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  21. Lucille

    Lucille The Duchess of Quim

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    I guess it’s not PC to have a ‘Biggest Poofter’ category anymore.
     
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  22. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    And the winner of Butteriest Tart goes to...
     
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  23. ButterTart

    ButterTart Ты меня не тролль!

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    Sadly Diddy failed to award ButterTart any points in the Butteriest Tart category, as he didn’t realise he was buttery until he’d already submitted his scores.
     
  24. lolly

    lolly Rowena? From Kuwait?

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    Yeah, it's slowed right up here. Still on the bus myself and am going to be late. I would say I've overslept, but it's more a case of I just couldn't be arsed to get up.

    I think on some level I'm passive aggressively forcing my manager to challenge me about it. I've got six fucking months of rage to unleash.
     
  25. Lucille

    Lucille The Duchess of Quim

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    I finally got to work after an hour and missed my stop!
     
  26. Lucille

    Lucille The Duchess of Quim

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    Half an hour late which means I’ll have to skip that first half hour where I do fuck all but have a coffee and read the news.
     
  27. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    And the award for most persistent grudge after saying it was fine goes to...
     
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  28. ButterTart

    ButterTart Ты меня не тролль!

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    This is the civil service, where it’s 1978 all year round, so there actually was a ‘backs to the wall lads, here she comes’ category.
     
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  29. ButterTart

    ButterTart Ты меня не тролль!

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    I couldn’t resist. Last one, I promise.
     
  30. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    Ok BRB guys I’m going to throw my phone into the sun because the guy I thought I was dating is being such a FUCKING SHITTY FUCK ARSE and I’m really at the end of my tether
     
  31. Iguana

    Iguana One two CHA CHA CHA

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    What's he done, love? :(
     
  32. octophone

    octophone Techno Poo

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    Morning. I'm off to get a needle jabbed in my face many times over. A gold needle, no less.
     
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  33. ButterTart

    ButterTart Ты меня не тролль!

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    Alright, show off.
     
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  34. Diddy

    Diddy Rice Queen

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    fuck all, that’s WHAT

    and I don’t want to get disproportionately grumpy with Moopy because some cunt says something to wind me up
     
  35. Tisch

    Tisch Superwomaning

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    I've noticed it way out in the sticks here (zone 4) as well. Loads of roadworks have sprouted up as well. Great timing for kiddiewinks going back to school. :eyes:
     
  36. Tisch

    Tisch Superwomaning

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    I hate cutesy work things with a passion. My old place had one particular woman absolutely obsessed with running "coffee mornings" and she always went so overboard and made everyone dress up. I'd have gotten away if it I didn't happen to sit in her vicinity.
     
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  37. big ron

    big ron Nude inspector

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    And here's me stabbing myself with a rusty bit of scrap iron. Hark at Lady Muck.
     
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  38. Tisch

    Tisch Superwomaning

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    Get a new phone, new number and text him "Oh hey! I got a new phone! I assumed my old one wasn't working because none of my texts seemed to going through lol. So what's up with you?"
     
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  39. ButterTart

    ButterTart Ты меня не тролль!

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    We had ‘coffee roulette’ here for a bit, where you put your name in a hat and were randomly allocated someone to go and have a cup of coffee with.
    It was supposed to give us chance to talk to people we might not have talked to much otherwise but the very idea of it brings me out in a sweat. Just horrible.
     
  40. ZenGiraffe

    ZenGiraffe SioráfZen

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    Absolutely NOT.
     
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