ButterTart's 100 Greatest Melodifestivalen Songs - 2002 to 2024

I was with our SHEE the night of semi final 4 when Perrelli and Bengtzing qualified and made it the night of dreams. After the glorious result, the rest of the night consisted of Sheena spending a good while grabbing the remote and freezing it at the exact moment Perrelli grabs the microphone and declaring it “more important footage than the moon landings”, practising the disco STRUT that leads into the second chorus, and then doing unspeakable things during the song’s key change.

I actually have videos of much of this evening if you want to see Sheena :D , but don’t worry - it’s a nuclear deadlock because some of that footage consists of me doing Cara Mia in very little clothing :disco: :gross:
 
Suomi said:
I was with our SHEE the night of semi final 4 when Perrelli and Bengtzing qualified and made it the night of dreams. After the glorious result, the rest of the night consisted of Sheena spending a good while grabbing the remote and freezing it at the exact moment Perrelli grabs the microphone and declaring it “more important footage than the moon landings”, practising the disco STRUT that leads into the second chorus, and then doing unspeakable things during the song’s key change.

I actually have videos of much of this evening if you want to see Sheena :D , but don’t worry - it’s a nuclear deadlock because some of that footage consists of me doing Cara Mia in very little clothing :disco: :gross:
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NO LIES DETECTED
 
I’d actually LOVE to see those videos. They’re of MONUMENTAL HISTORICAL IMPORTANCE :disco:
 
5. Loreen - My Heart is Refusing Me (2011)



AC – Beaten by Sara ‘Own-brand Eva Braun’ Varga​


“the backing track could do with a bit more VA VA VOOM and why is she so HUNCHED?”
Zu-Klara, 12/02/2011

Yes, with this placing I’m making the claim that Loreen peaked with her debut, but that BY NO MEANS reflects poorly on everything that came after. Time and again since 2011, Loreen has proved to the world that she’s a lovely voice when she tries. The reality is that ‘My Heart is Refusing Me’ is just that many leagues above almost everything else to have appeared at Melodifestivalen. I attribute Lorraine's pathological laziness to this; why bother putting the graft in when you achieved perfection on your very first go?

Whether I prefer the Mello version or the revamp is a question I’ve spent far too long pondering. For the longest time, it was the newer version hands down but, recently, my head’s been turned by the OG arrangement. I really love the way L’oreal hits those big notes in the final chorus, and there’s something about the comparative lack of polish which makes ‘My Heart is Refusing Me’ feel all the more intense. In either form, it’s genuinely SPECTACULAR.

This is a song that felt ahead of its time; in a league of its own even in a year as phenomenal as 2011. It feels like the song a lot of other entries want to be when they grow up. That it missed out on the final is unforgivable. That it was SARA VARGA who sent it packing is an act so despicable it should have seen the nation of Sweden brought before the Hague.

Loreen brings a fire, passion and power to her performances that’s entirely absent from her work ethic. She commands the stage here, an astonishing accomplishment considering she was only fourteen years old at this point and so poor she could only afford wool and not a finished jumper. She sounds superb as well, especially on the big notes in the chorus, which she hits with ease. Looking back now, it’s clear this could only ever have been a Loreen song – she just does it such JUSTICE live. There’s a bit here which is one of my hands-down favourite moments on a Melodifestivalen stage, at 2:20 in the video above just as the beat kicks in on the final chorus, where the dancers leap towards the camera as the stage lights come up. It’s purely an incidental moment but it just works so well in kicking off the drama of that final act.

I first heard MHIRM AFTER Euphoria bagged the win at Eurovision. I’d been told it was a smasher but I’d not bothered with it since I didn’t think anything could top her showing in 2012. Christ, what a handsome and naturally slim fool I was. It’s basically everything I could ever hope for in a song – drama, massive chorus, a performer who knows how to deliver, a thumping beat, wool… It’s a song which I’ll never tire of in either version; a savagely mistreated diamond in the bloodstained crown of the 2011 contest. Those among you with functioning eyes will have noticed this is the third in a triumvirate of Andra Chansen casualties to have graced this top ten. It sickens me to my core that Sweden was gifted one of the greatest nights of music outside of the 1996 Smash Hits Poll Winners’ Party, only to squander it on some bald-headed, spoon-faced bastard with a shit name, as well as The Moniker.

I’ve been crushed, beaten down… still I’m hopelessly in love.
 
4. Lili & Susie - Show Me Heaven (2009)



AC – Lost to Sarah Dawn Finer​


“Oh COME ON that was SHIT.”
@SDF, 14/02/2009


GIMME! GIMME! GIMME! Just let it happen :disco:

Has the intro to any Melodifestivalen song ever done more to wet your tip for what was to follow than the one for ‘Show Me Heaven’? If those opening bars don’t make you a bit giddy then you must have accidentally deleted your soul; this is music of greater historical significance than anything that old hack Mozart shat out.

‘Show Me Heaven’ IS Melodifestivalen. If I was tasked with summing up the history of the modern contest in a single song, I’d choose this. It has EVERYTHING you could possibly want in a classic Mello song and is a perfect ambassador for the show of shows.

This is thumping melodrama which feels like pure fan-service. It hits the ground mincing and is utterly relentless from there on. From that glitter prolapse of an intro we segue into breathy verses which are as much the venerable siblings attempting to be sultry as they are an early warning sign of COPD. As ever, it’s the chorus which properly pips my whistle and the one here is almost peerless; it’s loud, anthemic and brilliantly camp – the ‘gimme gimme gimme’ hook is absolutely killer. I’ll get on to the performance in a minute but the LED screens displaying ‘gimme’ in time with the vocal is, weirdly, perhaps the most iconic bit of staging I’ve seen. It’s so simple but it really stuck with me – it’s like a karaoke call to arms, demanding that you shout along. The final third of the song goes absolutely batshit – it’s every bit the moment on stage as it is in studio form - a barrage of big notes, backing harmonies, a smasher of a key change and a triumphant final note. ‘Show Me Heaven’ knows what it’s there to do, who it’s there to appeal to, and exactly how to give us EXACTLY what we want.

The performance from the heat is a little on the limp side, if I’m honest, but the kinks are worked out by the time they deliver a stonking AC showing which completely shits all over their first effort. Lil & Su present themselves as school administrators gone wild; they’ve been at the Insette, spent every penny of their Love 2 Shop vouchers down the Ethel Austin and they’re ready to hit the Lloyds No. 1 cocktail hour. It all kicks into gear when the platoon of dancers appears and maintains a hell of a pace from there. As mentioned, the final act is an absolute riot, with the girls properly busting a gut while being doused with confetti. Is it anything we’ve never seen before? Probably not. Is it EVERYTHING? Fuck, yes :disco: ‘Show Me Heaven’ is a disco carnival of a song which ends with a jubilant Schlager fist to the skies.

I love ‘Show Me Heaven’. I fucking LOVE it. It was one of the most credible contenders for the top spot, if I’m honest. I love anything which lives up to being described as ‘balls to the wall’ and this absolutely does. It’s a song you can never get bored of because there’s so much going on; it demands to be experienced, enjoyed and appreciated. Lili & Susie have a combined age of 238 now so a comeback is probably out of the question, but their mark on the contest – and me, as evidenced by this tremendous showing in the rate – is indelible.
 
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=3. Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer (2022)



WINNER!​


“DTG: Robin/Malou
AC (or Semi-Final 5 ): Omar/Theoz
5th: Danne
6th: Shirley
7th: Cornelia”
@Soldi, 02/02/2022

You say it isn’t me... but when did that ever help?

Before we get to the TOP THREE, let’s take a slight detour so we can crown my favourite Melodifestivalen winner of all time. It was a close-run thing, with ‘Hold Me Closer’ emerging triumphant by achieving joint third, while ‘Las Vegas’ was narrowly pipped to the post after coming in at 827th.

‘Hold Me Closer’ arrived at a time when I was whinging to all who’d listen about how Melodifestivalen had gone a bit too polished and needed to get a bit grittier. Needless to say, this proved to be a better antidote than I could have ever hoped for. Cornelia delivers a rousing mid-tempo ballad with a glorious lack of the usual Mello sheen and the result is one of the most authentic, affecting and potent songs to ever grace the concent.

This is, quite frankly, my favourite thing Sweden has EVER sent to Eurovision. It’s incredible; an all-time classic which stands shoulder to shoulder with the very best of the golden age hits. The arrangement is gorgeous and the way it builds is actual perfection. There’s so much genuine emotion packed in here without it feeling forced or twee, helped immeasurably by the grainy quality of Cornelia’s voice. Who’d have thought the body-popping goblin off Love Generation would come back with THIS?

I’ve not really spoken too much about lyrics throughout the rate, mainly because I don’t think it’s fair to EXPECT poetry from people singing in a second language. I need to mention here, though, that ‘Hold Me Closer’ is a stunningly written song. Aside from the quote I kicked off this write-up with, it’s packed with absolute gems like “So baby, bye, bye / Wish you the best / But most of all, I wish that I could love you less”. Again, they feel genuine, true to the idea of a relationship crumbling when you’re not ready to let go. It all just seems so REAL.

Cornelia sells the performance for everything it’s worth. Beyond fiddling with her ring, most of the staging is a Loreen-lite mix of bare feet and emphatic wafting, but it’s the vocal which really brings the whole thing home. I absolutely adore Corny’s voice; I love a Lambert & Butler crackle to a female vocal (a love which Sanremo has often tested) and she manages to serve up a blistering performance with a constant underlying feeling that she might break at any time which lends itself so, so well to the lyrics.

I had this figured as a winner from the moment it was performed but my heart has been broken too many times for me to not fully expect Sweden to bollocks it up in the final. That they didn’t, and took a punt on something so raw and comparatively unpolished, was vindication for everything I’ve been saying about the contest over the past few years. Cornelia went on to form part of the most wholesome top five in Eurovision history and enjoy instant fan-favourite status. ‘Hold Me Closer’ remains an astonishing achievement, a song which was written off by @Soldi and other terrible people before we’d even heard a note but ended up succeeding on its quality and the power of Cornelia’s delivery. An organic win like this is all too rare, so for it to have happened to one of my all time favourites is a feelgood moment for the ages.
 
Some of the predictions I've seen across the various threads have been BRILLIANT in hindsight. There's one I keep seeing from @win_the_game to the effect of 'Well, that shit by The Moniker clearly isn't qualifying now is it?'.
 
3. Linda Bengtzing - Alla Flickor (2005)


Finalist – 10th place​


“Sorry but all she EVER seemingly does is sit around and play Farmville or something. Like actually day in and day out that's all it is. 'Linda has won a pig and wants to thank you all'”
@Suomi, 10/09/2010

“I'm concerned that my posts are being overlooked for citation. Are they truly that unquotable?”
@Hak, 25/04/2024

As someone who’s comparatively new to the fandom, this feels like one of the most important songs in the history of the contest. ‘Alla Flickor’ launched an empire and established the Bengtzing brand, which was so identifiable she’s adhered slavishly to it for the last two decades – for better or worse. This song is the grand dame of Melodifestivalen; to place it any lower would be to besmirch actual royalty.

As with Loreen, I’m not claiming Linda went downhill following her debut – it’s more a case of ‘silence 10s, a 20 is speaking’. Alla Flickor is the truth, the light and the way. Sure, it uncrossed its legs and spooged unto us the gleaming afterbirth of her later entries but this was the original, the one which created the perfect template. It’s a song of such cultural importance that we literally have two posters named after it.

The first word I wrote in my notes for this was ‘bouncy’, which feels like a pretty anti-climactic assessment of the song which bagged third place in the rate. It’s entirely accurate, though; a bouncy, hugely entertaining beat courses through ‘Alla Flickor’ and lends to the feeling of irrepressible JOY which seeps from its every pore. This is pure fun; happiness in musical form. What works so magnificently about this is that there is literally not a dull moment. Linda manages to deliver verses which are engaging and quirky in their own right as opposed to just being the bit you have to sit through to get to the chorus. Of course, when we get to said chorus we’re treated to the absolute apex of schlager. It’s instant, it’s recognisable, it’s legendary, it makes you think you can sing along to it perfectly without speaking a single word of the language. There isn’t a single person reading this who can’t recite it word for word – even if those words are a clumsy phonetic English interpretation of the actual lyrics.

In the final moments, the song goes mental – I don’t think there’s a bit of a song I look forward to more than ‘Och när han gåaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar’ – the seconds leading up to it and everything that follows are just the distillation of everything good and great about Melodifestivalen, an absolute RIOT of sound that pays off an already enormously fun song with a colossal final act.

Linda took to the stage back in 2005 dressed like Krakoa-era Kitty Pryde and drawing from her endless reservoir of charisma. I’ve spoken before about how much I rate L-Beng as a performer and this, considering it was her debut, is a classic example of why. She looks like she belongs up there, like she understands her product perfectly and knows exactly how to sell it. She looks like she’s revelling in every nanosecond and is determined to give everything – more than everything – to the performance. Of course, her voice hadn’t quite caught up to her stage presence at this point so the big moment at the end of the song goes a bit haywire and is jettisoned altogether at the final. It doesn’t really impact on my enjoyment of it all, though; how could I possibly fail to be entertained by a woman so desperate to put on a stellar show?

It's fair to say Linda has never fielded a song I dislike. In fact, as evidenced by this rate, she’s fielded a good few I genuinely fucking LOVE. It says something, then, that I consider ‘Alla Flickor’ to be the true summit of her powers – a classic among classics. I hope Linda comes back before long and I hope she gets the redemption arc she truly deserves. She’s front and centre on the Mello Mount Rushmore; all but the very elite can hold a candle to her legacy.
 
It would be very 2010 coded to be bombarded with Farmville requests every day from Linda.
 
While we await the TOP TWO, I thought I'd finally share with you this collection of HOT TAKES about notoriously underwhelming flop 'Euphoria' by Loreen:

Samuel said:
Here's Loreen: http://svt.se/svts/20120202194027/loreens_rep

I hope she was having an OFF MINUTE there, because that AIN'T ALL THAT.
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VoR said:
Not sold at all on Loreen either on first listen. Oh my God :(

Hopefully this is one of those things where it all comes together in the show and we end up looking back on this and wondering what we were worried about.
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Apoca said:
I still think it could be quite good on the whole.

I'm relatively surprised at people saying it's better than My Heart Is Refusing Me. I just DON'T see that happening.
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Kevin said:
Oh no, I'm not loving it nearly as much as I thought I would.
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VoR said:
Loreen isn't in any trouble. It's underwhelming, but it sounds like WATERLOO compared to the shite that precedes it. Plus we know she can sell it live.
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FetchFugly said:
Loreen's song sounds a bit CHAVVY DANCE to me... not at all like the sophisticated thing of beauty that was My Heart Is Refusing Me. That may improve her chances I suppose.

Otherwise I've only bothered listening to Marie and Afro-dite but blatant shit heat.
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Lockhart said:
Euphoria sounds pretty much as I expected from that clip: nout special. That's pretty much been my reaction to everything she's done so far though. Based on what I've heard so far Marie is my favourite, which pretty much sums up how awful this heat looks right now.
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D5K said:
The last couple of years I've avoided listening to any of the preview clips to make me enjoy the live shows more. But I've had a shit day so I thought I'd try the Loreen track that's supposed to be absolutely amazing (from all the press). WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Not at all impressed on first listen, and I don't get the choreography at all.
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ButterTart said:
While we await the TOP TWO, I thought I'd finally share with you this collection of HOT TAKES about notoriously underwhelming flop 'Euphoria' by Loreen:
Click to expand...
In our defence wasn't the clip of the weird hand-wavy dance as the snow started falling?
 
D5K said:
In our defence wasn't the clip of the weird hand-wavy dance as the snow started falling?
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Yes it was the rehearsal where in typical Loreen fashion, she didn't put any more effort in than absolutely necessary. :disco:

 
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Apoca said:
I still think it could be quite good on the whole.

I'm relatively surprised at people saying it's better than My Heart Is Refusing Me. I just DON'T see that happening.
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I feel that's a relatively FAIR snippet assessment, even 12 years later.
 
Fantastic #3 :disco: no idea who's making the top 2 along the Swedish Housewives, it could be anything.

And I guess you all know the story of why SVT stopped releasing the whole songs the year after Euphoria: a Spanish tv channel started using the song in their promos before the song was even released, just days after her Heat 1 performance, which was a huge scandal here.
 
2. Sean Banan - Sean den förste Banan



AC – Lost to some horrible, no-name old cunt​



“If that UNMITIGATED SHITE qualifies in any form, I officially lose all faith with Sweden.”
@VoR, 04/02/2012

“Sean Banan can FUCK OFF!”
@Penelope 18/08/2014

“Sean Banan for CUNT OF THE MONTH I don't think I have EVER hated a MF contestant MORE”
@VoR, 04/02/2012

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
@Sheena, 21/04/2024

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARL den sexentonde Gustaf

Håll ett ögat på din tron

För här kommer kingen

Sean den förste Banan

HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA

Look, I know you’re very upset with me right now and I appreciate how cruel it was for me to tag the people who are likely to be the most enraged about this, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist.

You see, I love ‘Sean den förste Banan’. I love it to the point that it’s legitimately one of my favourite songs of all time. I love it so much that I started this rate fully prepared to crown it the winner; I’m still in shock that another song turned my head to the point that THIS had to settle for silver.

Every single aspect of this feels like it was engineered to appeal specifically to me. It’s a Europop song with an incredible, disgustingly catchy chorus. It’s a comedy song about an Iranian immigrant who wants to be king of Sweden. It boasts my favourite Melodifestivalen performance of all time. It slags off Carola. If you took all of my wants, hopes and ambitions and shaped them into a three minute bop, it would sound like this.

‘Sean den förste Banan’ is designed to clamp itself to your brain after one listen and never release its grip, a function it accomplishes flawlessly. Like it or not, the ‘Diggi Diggi Diggi’ chorus is an absolute masterstroke; even if you hate this song and haven’t listened to it in bare time fam, I bet you still remember EXACTLY how it goes. Musically and lyrically, ‘Sean den förste Banan’ is packed to the rafters with little moments and details, from the line where he introduces himself as being from a country made of beards and sand, to the sort-of-middle-8 where he announces that meatballs and Ikea (but NOT Carola) are fucking good, to that genuinely fucking brilliant spoken word challenge to the actual reigning monarch. This is why I love it so much, it’s just so FULL. I don’t think a single idea was left in the editing room; Sean fires moment after moment at us for three minutes and, for me at least, every one of them lands :disco:

As I mentioned before, I truly ADORE the performance – it was one of the first Melodifestivalen songs I ever took notice of and I don’t think it’s been bettered since. Sean has BAGS of charisma and delivers this with matchless enthusiasm. He’s a born performer. The choreography during the chorus is fun and ridiculously slick, but again it’s the level of DETAIL which properly sells ‘Sean den förste Banan’. Every lyric seems to have a corresponding visual, every second commands attention – this is a three-act play in a three-minute song, evolving and building in a genuine effort to steal the entire show despite being the first song of the first heat. Whether in studio or live form, everything from 2:19 in the video is – hands down – my favourite thing ever to have happened at Mello. It’s JUST. SO. GOOD. The spoken word threat to Carl Gustav is delivered with such manic energy it feels massive, like a winner’s reprise (especially juxtaposed with the cut to the audience looking thoroughly nonplussed straight after), and he follows this by IMMEDIATELY dropping into a key change, somersaulting across the stage under a blizzard of confetti and then dances in front of his golden throne while being flanked by showgirls. It’s more akin to an interval act than a competitor in scale, a masterclass in making your moment count. You’ve got three minutes to sell the living cunt out of your product, Gunilla, THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING DO IT.

I’m shaking and crying just describing this, to be honest. I love the very bones of it. From the comments at the time, only @Apoca and @Suomi don’t think me a raging cunt for alleging that this is the second best song ever sent to Melodifestivalen. Even so, this is my rate; there is not - nor will there ever be – any situation where ‘Sean den förste Banan’ wouldn’t achieve a podium placing.

Hela landet spin när kingen glider in
 
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