Papal Conclave Sweepstake 2025

4 please!
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Joseph W. TobinUnited States72
Marcello SemeraroItaly77
Kazimierz NyczPoland75
Peter OkpalekeNigeria62

You've picked the least-worst American:

It's unlikely the world's cardinals would pick the first ever U.S. pope, but if they were up for that, Tobin would seem the likeliest possibility. A former global leader of a major Catholic religious order known as the Redemptorists, the Detroit native has spent time in countries around the world and speaks Italian, Spanish, French and Portuguese fluently. He also has experience in Vatican service and in top positions across the U.S. church.

Tobin served a stint as second-in-command of a Vatican office from 2009-12, and was then named by Pope Benedict as archbishop of Indianapolis, Indiana. Francis promoted him to a cardinal in 2016, and later made him the archbishop of Newark. Tobin is the oldest of 13 children and has said he is a recovering alcoholic. He is known for an attitude of openness toward LGBT people, writing in 2017 that "in too many parts of our church LGBT people have been made to feel unwelcome, excluded, and even shamed".
 
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Timothy RadcliffeUnited Kingdom79
Augusto Paolo LojudiceItaly60
Leonardo Ulrich SteinerBrazil74
Dieudonné NzapalaingaCentral African Republic58

Timothy Radcliffe has spent most of his adult life in Oxford and was one of the last Cardinals named by Pope Francis in December 2024. Supposedly viewed as an ally of Pope Francis, religious historian and writer Catherine Pepinster said that his oratory and influence could make him a candidate. However, she told Sky News that his age will likely rule him out. Equally he does not seem to want the position saying that the Holy Spirit is “far too wise to even think of me (as pope) for the shortest moment".
 
18 please
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Arthur RocheUnited Kingdom75
Fabio BaggioItaly60
Adalberto Martínez FloresParaguay73
Paulo Cezar CostaBrazil57

At 75, Arthur Roche is the youngest of the British cardinals. The former bishop of Leeds now heads up a Vatican department called Divine Worship where he has become a controversial figure blamed for the suppression of the traditional Latin mass. Roche is a Vatican reformer who was close to Francis and is more likely to be an influencer in the election than a candidate.
 
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You've picked the least-worst American:

It's unlikely the world's cardinals would pick the first ever U.S. pope, but if they were up for that, Tobin would seem the likeliest possibility. A former global leader of a major Catholic religious order known as the Redemptorists, the Detroit native has spent time in countries around the world and speaks Italian, Spanish, French and Portuguese fluently. He also has experience in Vatican service and in top positions across the U.S. church.

Tobin served a stint as second-in-command of a Vatican office from 2009-12, and was then named by Pope Benedict as archbishop of Indianapolis, Indiana. Francis promoted him to a cardinal in 2016, and later made him the archbishop of Newark. Tobin is the oldest of 13 children and has said he is a recovering alcoholic. He is known for an attitude of openness toward LGBT people, writing in 2017 that "in too many parts of our church LGBT people have been made to feel unwelcome, excluded, and even shamed".

What a PROBLEMATIC FAVE
 
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Joseph W. TobinUnited States72
Marcello SemeraroItaly77
Kazimierz NyczPoland75
Peter OkpalekeNigeria62

You've picked the least-worst American:

It's unlikely the world's cardinals would pick the first ever U.S. pope, but if they were up for that, Tobin would seem the likeliest possibility. A former global leader of a major Catholic religious order known as the Redemptorists, the Detroit native has spent time in countries around the world and speaks Italian, Spanish, French and Portuguese fluently. He also has experience in Vatican service and in top positions across the U.S. church.

Tobin served a stint as second-in-command of a Vatican office from 2009-12, and was then named by Pope Benedict as archbishop of Indianapolis, Indiana. Francis promoted him to a cardinal in 2016, and later made him the archbishop of Newark. Tobin is the oldest of 13 children and has said he is a recovering alcoholic. He is known for an attitude of openness toward LGBT people, writing in 2017 that "in too many parts of our church LGBT people have been made to feel unwelcome, excluded, and even shamed".
He looks almost exactly like Jeff Garlin from Curb Your Enthusiasm :o
 
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Timothy RadcliffeUnited Kingdom79
Augusto Paolo LojudiceItaly60
Leonardo Ulrich SteinerBrazil74
Dieudonné NzapalaingaCentral African Republic58

Timothy Radcliffe has spent most of his adult life in Oxford and was one of the last Cardinals named by Pope Francis in December 2024. Supposedly viewed as an ally of Pope Francis, religious historian and writer Catherine Pepinster said that his oratory and influence could make him a candidate. However, she told Sky News that his age will likely rule him out. Equally he does not seem to want the position saying that the Holy Spirit is “far too wise to even think of me (as pope) for the shortest moment".
Timothy Ratliff?

That would be….. wild
 
Timothy Ratliff?

That would be….. wild
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CATHOLLLLIIIIIIICIIIIIICISSSSSSSSMMM
 
16 please
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Raymond Leo BurkeUnited States76
Reinhard MarxGermany71
Berhaneyesus Demerew SouraphielEthiopia76
Sérgio da RochaBrazil65


You've picked an utter cunt and Trump-fan Cardinal Burke:

Pope Francis' biggest critic, an anti-vaccine traditionalist papal lawyer who would be the first American pontiff, is among the frontrunners to replace him. Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke, 76, is diametrically opposed to the pope's views on nearly all the contested issues facing the Catholic Church. De-facto leader of the church's conservatives, he is outspoken against any softening of its policy towards LGBTQ people, divorce, and the role of women.
 
I'll go for my age.

20 please.
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Lazarus You Heung-sikSouth Korea73
Domenico BattagliaItaly62
Ignatius Suharyo HardjoatmodjoIndonesia74
José Cobo CanoSpain59

Cardinal Lazzaro You Heung-sik, a respected South Korean cleric often cited as a 'possible successor' to late Pope Francis, has brushed off growing speculation about his potential rise to the papacy, reported The Korea Times. Speaking to journalists, Cardinal You made it clear he places no weight on such predictions. “When I heard that, I just laughed and moved on,” he said. “It’s an honour ... but the speculation will certainly prove wrong. Nobody knows who will succeed Pope Francis. Never in history has a news media outlet guessed that right. This is a historical fact.”

In 2014, Cardinal You played host to Pope Francis during his historic visit to South Korea, a moment he recalls with deep emotion. In 2021, Pope Francis appointed him prefect of the Congregation for the Clergy, and the following year, he was elevated to the rank of cardinal. Throughout his ministry, Cardinal You has remained a vocal advocate for the marginalised. His concern for the people of North Korea, one of the most impoverished and isolated nations, has also drawn international attention.
 
30 for me please
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Mauro GambettiItaly59
Mario ZenariItaly79
Daniel DiNardoUnited States75
Soane Patita Paini MafiTonga63

Welcome to Moopy. Your gift is Cardinal Gambetti:

In 2020, Gambetti became the first Fransiscan appointed Cardinal in 160 years. Among the most used words and phrases in his speeches are obviously “fraternity”, “smile” and “closeness to the poor”. His father founded a metalworking company, and from him he inherited his passion for mechanics, so much so that he graduated in engineering in Bologna, after studying at the scientific high school in Imola with F1 boss. Stefano Domenicali He served in the infantry and defines himself as a disaffected Juventus fan.
 
Holy Spirit says 6 please
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Thomas CollinsCanada78
François-Xavier BustilloFrance56
Robert W. McElroyUnited States71
Américo AguiarPortugal51

Welcome to Moopy - you get the Canadian Cardinal, Thomas Collins:

Q: Cardinal Collins, any chance you're going to be pope?

Collins: Well...(laughs) Oh my, no. I've been very happy! That's not going to happen. But I think there are several, wonderful cardinals, anyone of whom would be a wonderful pope. And we just have to sort of come to a discernment and pray and hope to God, you know, ask God to guide us to pick whichever is the right one for now. And I'm sure God will help us to do that.
 
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Lazarus You Heung-sikSouth Korea73
Domenico BattagliaItaly62
Ignatius Suharyo HardjoatmodjoIndonesia74
José Cobo CanoSpain59

Cardinal Lazzaro You Heung-sik, a respected South Korean cleric often cited as a 'possible successor' to late Pope Francis, has brushed off growing speculation about his potential rise to the papacy, reported The Korea Times. Speaking to journalists, Cardinal You made it clear he places no weight on such predictions. “When I heard that, I just laughed and moved on,” he said. “It’s an honour ... but the speculation will certainly prove wrong. Nobody knows who will succeed Pope Francis. Never in history has a news media outlet guessed that right. This is a historical fact.”

In 2014, Cardinal You played host to Pope Francis during his historic visit to South Korea, a moment he recalls with deep emotion. In 2021, Pope Francis appointed him prefect of the Congregation for the Clergy, and the following year, he was elevated to the rank of cardinal. Throughout his ministry, Cardinal You has remained a vocal advocate for the marginalised. His concern for the people of North Korea, one of the most impoverished and isolated nations, has also drawn international attention.
If this guy wins, I’m suspecting a lot of trouble when Donald Trump asks who has been elected as Pope and is told “it’s You”.
 
12 please
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Mykola BychokUkraine/Australia45
Wildcard - any other Catholic--
Leopoldo BrenesNicaragua76
Ignace Bessi DogboIvory Coast63

Your set includes the wildcard - the Cardinal electors don't have to chose amongst their numbers. Any male Catholic can be picked. You also get the 45-year old Cardinal Bychok:

Bychok is the Catholic church’s youngest cardinal and the first Australian to be made cardinal since George Pell. He is also just the eighth cardinal from Australia. Bychok was born in the Ukrainian city of Ternopil, and entered a monastery after finishing high school, before becoming ordained as a priest in Lviv. He served as a priest in several countries including in Poland and the US, before moving to Melbourne in January 2020 to serve as the Eparchy of Saints Peter and Paul of Melbourne, a Ukrainian Greek Catholic church.
 
You get:


NameCountry of originAge
Lazarus You Heung-sikSouth Korea73
Domenico BattagliaItaly62
Ignatius Suharyo HardjoatmodjoIndonesia74
José Cobo CanoSpain59

Cardinal Lazzaro You Heung-sik, a respected South Korean cleric often cited as a 'possible successor' to late Pope Francis, has brushed off growing speculation about his potential rise to the papacy, reported The Korea Times. Speaking to journalists, Cardinal You made it clear he places no weight on such predictions. “When I heard that, I just laughed and moved on,” he said. “It’s an honour ... but the speculation will certainly prove wrong. Nobody knows who will succeed Pope Francis. Never in history has a news media outlet guessed that right. This is a historical fact.”

In 2014, Cardinal You played host to Pope Francis during his historic visit to South Korea, a moment he recalls with deep emotion. In 2021, Pope Francis appointed him prefect of the Congregation for the Clergy, and the following year, he was elevated to the rank of cardinal. Throughout his ministry, Cardinal You has remained a vocal advocate for the marginalised. His concern for the people of North Korea, one of the most impoverished and isolated nations, has also drawn international attention.
I’m here for the Catholic Church entering its K-Pope era
 

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