What a topic! Amazing.
I honestly never worry about dying. I think a lot about the future and goals I would like to work towards so I can be personally fulfilled by doing interesting and satisfying work that takes care of me and Suomi and helps me live purposefully in line with my values and talents. I find this helpful whenever I wish I lived in a bigger place or I had more money or had more success, because I have real faith that I’m doing things the right way for me and the people I love and all will work out.
And this is quite a turnaround as I used to think, for quite a long time, that there was no point me setting goals or chasing dreams because I didn’t think my life would be worth living. Thanks to a lot of therapy and making very deliberate choices over the years, I now have a feeling of wanting to make the most of myself, to appreciate what I already have, to keep learning, and to keep making a life that I’ll be content with.
I definitely don’t worry about people not being devastated when I die, I don’t know that I would rely on that as a yardstick for whether I’ve lived a good life. I don’t even know that I want people to be devastated, I’d rather they were glad I helped them learn a useful life lesson, or admired a quality I had, or felt that I genuinely loved them.
Obviously it’s very easy for me to say this today from my husband’s large lakeside summer house in Sweden but the journey ETC ETC ETC