Eurovision Rewatch: The Great British Song Contest 1997 AND 1998 (11:00 BST, 22/04)

[Lucille]

Dale is such a BREATH OF FRESH AIR.

 

[ButterTart]

I can’t believe Dale Winton is dead really

I know, you didn't even punch him that hard.

 

[Suomi]

Weird to start with two ballads

Also weird how all the songwriters look like sex offenders

 

[lolly]

But how many LINES have you got, Dale?

 

[Madíson]

Don Black sounds like that?!

 

[Soldi]

How many songs?

 

[Lucille]

“I was surprised she was so young”

He doesn’t look like a man who’s usually too BOTHERED.

 

[Soldi]

ANOTHER GINGER

 

[Raining on Me]

We'd all fuck the ginger bloke upside down, with a haircut, let's be real, but even with the hair I'm game. QUITE NICE COCK at a guess

 

[Lucille]

How many songs?

8 I think?!?

 

[ButterTart]

Weird to start with two ballads

Also weird how all the songwriters look like sex offenders

It was ballad central in 1991, Samantha J. Anus's surprisingly good legs provided us with the only vaguely uptempo effort.

 

[Lucille]

We'd all fuck the ginger bloke upside down, with a haircut, let's be real, but even with the hair I'm game. QUITE NICE COCK at a guess

FETCH THE BOLTCUTTERS.

 

[Madíson]

No one is in a position to complain about haircuts right now.

 

[ButterTart]

We'd all fuck the ginger bloke upside down, with a haircut, let's be real, but even with the hair I'm game. QUITE NICE COCK at a guess

I love how much thought has gone into this.

 

[Lucille]

No one is in a position to complain about haircuts right now.

QUITE!

 

[dmlaw]

It was ballad central in 1991, Samantha J. Anus's surprisingly good legs provided us with the only vaguely uptempo effort.

The feedback on Malcolm's microphone was also quite lively.

 

[win_the_game]

We'd all fuck the ginger bloke upside down, with a haircut, let's be real, but even with the hair I'm game. QUITE NICE COCK at a guess

Is LOCKDOWN starting to get to you?

 

[Madíson]

This song could do with more yodelling.

 

[ButterTart]

The feedback on Malcolm's microphone was also quite lively.

They gave my dog a seizure so you're telling me.

 

[Lucille]

Is LOCKDOWN starting to get to you?

Actually agog it’s week 5, it feels like it’s been simultaneously 4 days and 4 YEARS.

 

[win_the_game]

Jo looks like she's living her best life on Stars In Your Eyes

 

[ButterTart]

This one has a whiff of the Fame Academy about her.

 

[lolly]

I could never vote for a fringe like that

 

[win_the_game]

Jo looks like she's living her best life on Stars In Your Eyes

Or STAR FOR A NIGHT

 

[Soldi]

Why are these interviews all filmed in RESTAURANTS

 

[ButterTart]

Lads, hang on to your tits. This is magnificent.

 

[win_the_game]

Scotland's greatest contribution to the UNION.

 

[Lucille]

Why are these interviews all filmed in RESTAURANTS

REMEMBER THOSE!

 

[Raining on Me]

Is LOCKDOWN starting to get to you?

No but the face seemed nice and GINGER is always a 12 from me

 

[Alla]

Shit I missed this

 

[win_the_game]

"A conversation in a pub one night"

YES WE WERE PISHED WHEN WE WROTE IT.

 

[lolly]

Poor dead Kerry

 

[ButterTart]

I wonder if they're going to drape her across various bits of furniture to disguise her disability like they do in the video. Just stick her in a fucking wheelchair, nobody except David_5000 is going to be offended.

 

[Madíson]

Is this genuinely not meant to be a sex euphemism?

 

[Soldi]

Ooh what’s this HOT SHIT

 

[dmlaw]

Nice legs. And that's all I have to say about that.

 

[Lucille]

No but the face seemed nice and GINGER is always a 12 from me

They do have nice THICK COCKS.

 

[lolly]

Is this genuinely not meant to be a sex euphemism?

Not sure, but I imagine Lucille has heard it a few times.

 

[Lucille]

Poor dead Kerry

NOT ANOTHER ONE!

 

[Madíson]

Were we planning to do a cheating Doris and put the yodelling in the backing track?