My top 32 favourite Real Housewives of ALL TIME: room for MORE?

All I’ve done today is rewatch Gilda’s best moments. Angela saying to her about seven times that she is real, to no response except the camera zooming in to the most non-plused woman in the world is a work of art (and shoddy Kiwi camera work, but let’s not worry about that).
 
Tamra is literally an evil human being but she’s been such a catalyst to some of the OC’s best drama. She has to come back, I worry this season will be a dud especially with Kelly being an antimask twat.
 
Apologies for ABANDONING this thread, sometimes WORK AND REAL LIFE leaves the brain not a lot of time to think about highly important countdowns about a bunch of awful women I've never met :eyes:

It is HEARTENING to see that Gilda has been such a SMASH HIT with at least 2 gays, as we venture back to New Zealand for the next one...

18: Angela Stone - Real Housewives of Auckland
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Unfortunately there are NOT MANY GIFs available online of this one, but don't let that put you off exploring the charms of New Zealand's busiest woman :disco:

You MAY have noticed from this countdown already that I quite enjoy the rather more BIZARRE characters of the Housewives universe, and it's a genre of Housewives the Oceania region particularly excels in. Regular readers MAY RECALL we previously met the jaw-droppingly bonkers Athena X and Lisa Oldfield from Sydney, now meet their spiritual sister and one of my favourite Housewife panto villains ANGELA STONE!

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Angela is seemingly a JACK OF MANY TRADES, yet master of none:
- She is an author/fashion stylist/fashion designer/model/actress/property developer/SHE'S A BRAND! etc. etc. You name it, Angela has PROBABLY done it. Yet despite of these ILLUSTRIOUS INDUSTRIES that she is apparently involved it, she often has very little to show for it on the show.
- I don't think you get to see inside Angela's house on the show - and if you do it's a completely EMPTY white box (a telltale sign of a RENTED SHOW-HOME on Housewives - see also Melissa the pot plant in Sydney, and the lunatic game night-hosting 25,000 dollar sunglasses woman in Beverley Hills season 2).
- Angela also has a "boyfriend" that you never get to meet on the show, yet she calls frequently - often to (from what we can hear) the borderline IRRITABILITY of the man on the end of the phone, who seems somewhat confused as to who the hell she is.
- Angela ALSO goes "shopping" for a VERY EXPENSIVE HOUSE on the show, yet shows little desire to actually buy it - AGAIN another Housewives telltale sign that they are performing for the cameras. Anybody can view an expensive House, it doesn't mean you are going to purchase it (see also: cash bar Candiace on Potomac).

WHAT I'M GETTING AT is basically: it's quite possible that Angela is somewhat a FRAUD! A phony! A liar! :shock:
This is nothing unusual for Housewives, LET'S BE HONEST, but what makes Angela so entertaining (and occasionally endearing) is the GREAT LENGTHS she will go to to keep up the pretence. And never forget Gilda fans: HOLY MOSES Angela is not fake! She's about to release a book called "How To Be Real" :D

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Whilst it may take the viewer a few moments to TWIG on all of the above, the other women smell a RAT from the second Angela appears on screen, and basically stand on her neck throughout the entirety of the show's 10 episodes. The first episode of Auckland is a total ride, and within seconds of Angela being on screen they declare her to be "a big unit", look absolutely BEMUSED AND BAFFLED as Angela hands them all her "style guide" (that nobody asked to receive) before she even says hello, and tear apart her fabled modelling career enquiring whether it was of the "plus sized" variety.

MEAN yes, but she kind of brings it on herself. It leads to a completely unnecessary meltdown during dinner, a grudge that is held throughout the show, and Angela visiting her "holistic therapist" in episode 2 to quite literally have the hypothetical DAGGERS pulled out of her back - in one of the most bizarre scenes Housewives has ever gifted us :D How I wish there was more Angela on youtube.

To help with her phantom INCREDIBLY BUSY LIFE, Angela entrusts the help of her poor downtrodden French PA, named LEA :D
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OH MY GOD POOR LEA! Lea's "job" as a PA seems to have an MIND-BOGGLING list of responsibilities, none of which seem to involve doing anything to do with Angela's allegedly BUSTLING career in fashion, but do involve driving her around (and CRASHING her car), fetching her coffee, attending social events with Angela (but not being allowed to speak to anybody) and being taken on the cast trip and being locked in Angela's villa with a load of IRONING to do, and a bunch of VERY IMPORTANT EMAILS to reply to :D

The scenes with Lea are something else. It's like watching a comedy sketch (complete with comedy French music underlaid whenever Lea is on screen).
At one point Lea gets STUCK IN AN ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY LIFT between floors at the very expensive House Angela is viewing (to not buy), and in another scene one of the other wives The Champagne Lady (who speaks French) genuinely asks Lea if she's ok, and if Angela treats her like a slave whilst Angela pops off to the potty room. A very strange, but tbh hilarious comedy of errors and human indecency.

The women themselves all hate Angela. She's wide-eyed and annoying. She's thirsty for camera time, and has a HATE BONER for Gilda who couldn't give less of a shit.
Another CLASSIC ANGELA SCENE is when she has a book launch for her noted tome 'HOW TO BE REAL' that two of the other FIVE Housewives don't turn up to, and two others spend the entire time talking about HOW BORED THEY ARE, and how much they hate Angela :D The highlight of the launch is when Angela keeps them in a room for HOURS to then open the doors to ANOTHER room that looks exactly the same...and nothing happens. :bruised:

Anyway, enough Angela - for footage here's potato quality the Gilda highlights video again that has the iconic 'NOT A FUCKING THING" fight, and HOLY MOSES, I'M NOT FAKE!


There's also this BONKERS footage of Angela on NZ breakfast TV giving her style tips for TRUE ANGELA STANS, which is oddly mesmerising.



I will say, I don't think Angela was a bad person - I think she was just handed an opportunity to be on TV and tried to present herself as what she thought the public wanted her to be. Sadly for her it was incredibly transparently false :D Last time I checked she was trying to flog HERBALIFE on instagram :bruised::bruised::bruised::bruised:

And that concludes the Housewives from Auckland, with Angela as my TOP PERFORMER. I did also consider NZ's answer to Anne Robinson LOUISE in the lower-echelons of this countdown, but that would be too much Auckland even for me. But please, just watch this show if you haven't already. NEXT!
 
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Producers playing what was essentially the Allo Allo theme music whenever Lea was on screen killed me :D

I always got the impression that Lea had absolutely no idea what she was getting herself into, had been told by Angela that she was just filming some scenes for her blog, and only found out she was going to be on a Real Housewives show on national television as it was airing.

I'd forgotten about her being taken away on the cast trip too.

My overwhelming memory of Auckland - often appearing to me in the form of a nightmare - is Angela's permanent, unbreakable, super-creepy smile. Where even when her eyes were screaming murder, the smile would be fixed even wider. Genuinely disturbing. Loved it.
 
Let me tell you something. I subscribed to hayu purely with the intention of rewatching the greatest television series of all time, The Real Housewives of Auckland. Never in my life, I just can’t. Angela Stone needs her own television platform ASAP - @VoR if you’ve never seen this I promise you it’s worth the free subscription to hayu, you’re going to die when you see how they treat the French assistant.
 
Will said:
Producers playing what was essentially the Allo Allo theme music whenever Lea was on screen killed me :D

I always got the impression that Lea had absolutely no idea what she was getting herself into, had been told by Angela that she was just filming some scenes for her blog, and only found out she was going to be on a Real Housewives show on national television as it was airing.

I'd forgotten about her being taken away on the cast trip too.

My overwhelming memory of Auckland - often appearing to me in the form of a nightmare - is Angela's permanent, unbreakable, super-creepy smile. Where even when her eyes were screaming murder, the smile would be fixed even wider. Genuinely disturbing. Loved it.
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HOW ON EARTH did I do a write up of Angela Stone and fail to mention her CHESHIRE CAT GRIN :D Truly painted on to the same degree as Gilda's permanently unbothered forehead.
I feel this was a form of ARMOUR for Angela, keeping up appearances of her INCREDIBLY BUSY LIFE at all times :D

The Lea scenes are amazing. Honestly like a fever dream. There are theories online that she was an actress or producer plant - I subscribe to your theory that she was genuinely just a poor French girl THROWN TO THE LIONS on reality TV. :D
 
Suomi said:
Let me tell you something. I subscribed to hayu purely with the intention of rewatching the greatest television series of all time, The Real Housewives of Auckland. Never in my life, I just can’t. Angela Stone needs her own television platform ASAP - @VoR if you’ve never seen this I promise you it’s worth the free subscription to hayu, you’re going to die when you see how they treat the French assistant.
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Auckland is SUCH a camp classic. And @Suomi if you still have that HayU subscription and haven't watched Sydney yet you truly MUST! A total companion series to Auckland, with Athena X and Victoria playing Angela and Gilda blown up to 100.

I'm still bitter we never got the continuing adventures of Gilda, Michelle, Angela, Louise and Champagne in the form of a series 2 :argh: It was absolutely on the cards to happen too had evil Julia not been racist/tried to sue production. :bad:
 
Thanks! They are COMING! They honestly get harder as the countdown SLIMS DOWN as you get to the Housewives with multiple seasons (some basically a DECADE of screen time) under their belt - it's a challenge to FOCUS and pick out the KEY THEMES for each, ever mind the QUOTES (which I'm generally terrible at remembering).

However you should get a couple more by the end of this week, especially if I find time for a GLASS OF WINE! :eyes:
 
and ON QUOTES, please feel free to spout them at me ad infinity as the countdown progresses :D My memory is like a SIEVE!

and as a slight TANTALISE and TEASE for the fanz: Next up is a MISUNDERSTOOD BADDIE from the USA :disco:
 
Tisch said:
Every time I see a new gif I get one step closer to becoming a RH Queen. I'm trying to resist but I've already made baby steps onto Selling Sunset...
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Do Melbourne! They are shorter seasons with less filler and it has really hooked @COB!
 
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In all fairness, they’re all awful in Dallas. Stephanie (Queen of Hearts) is an islamophobe, Brandi was caught on tape making fun of Asian people to her children and D’Andra worked for the Bush administration.
 
I low-key stanned LeeAnn in Dallas until her true RACIST FORM was unveiled. QUIRKY Kam is now the closest thing I have to a Dallas favourite these days.

The season 4 reunion is GREAT though :D The high drama of LeeAnn being forced to TAKE A SEAT at the crocodile court chaired by the equally racist Brandi was such a mess.
 
Diddy said:
Oh Netflix JP has 3 RH! 2 seasons each of Atlanta, NYC and Beverly Hills
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Those early seasons of BH and Atlanta are amazing.
New York not so much as it was still “Manhattan Moms” then and doesn’t really take off until Season 3
 
Diddy said:
Oh Netflix JP has 3 RH! 2 seasons each of Atlanta, NYC and Beverly Hills
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Watch BH and Atlanta first! BH season 1 and 2 in particular are some of the best and darkest of the entire franchise.

New York is AMAZING and probably the best franchise of all, but doesn't really GET GOING PROPERLY until season 3 which I don't think Netflix HAVE.
I'd always recommend to start NYC from 3 or 7, and watch 1&2 afterwards as a bit of a CURIO.
 
wurst said:
I low-key stanned LeeAnn in Dallas until her true RACIST FORM was unveiled. QUIRKY Kam is now the closest thing I have to a Dallas favourite these days.

The season 4 reunion is GREAT though :D The high drama of LeeAnn being forced to TAKE A SEAT at the crocodile court chaired by the equally racist Brandi was such a mess.
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And sorry any Dallas fanz, but none of THAT CAST qualified for this countdown :(
LeeAnn however probably would have knocked out Dorit in the early entries had it not been for her racism.
 
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