My top 32 favourite Real Housewives of ALL TIME: room for MORE?

That video of Lou’s best bits says it all perfectly. Thanks Wurst!! x

Never forget Louise has possibly the best tagline of ALL TIME!
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I also HAVE BEEN KNOWN to occasionally describe people as a "BIG UNIT" or "A SAIL" thanks to Louise :D
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QUEEN!
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"Big Unit" is such a kiwi term lol
I also love the hugely Australasian habit of instant nicknaming... it's alive and well across the whole series, but particularly tickled me that despite everyone loathing her Angela was ANGE almost immediately.
 
QUEENS: It's time to stand by what I say, but not how YOU interpret it :disco:

07: Gina Liano - Real Housewives of Melbourne

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A potentially CONTROVERSIAL positioning here, as I'm sure a quick STRAW POLL of this forum would probably place Gina as moopy's number 1 Housewife of all. Gina is not my personal number one for the simple fact: she's an absolutely TERRIBLE person :D

Gina however luckily makes up for (and frequently DISGUISES) her awfulness with buckets of bizarre (and quite unconventional) charm and charisma, an infinite supply of AMAZING lines, put-downs and clap-backs, and a degree of self-depreciation that she ALWAYS has in her handbag as her EMERGENCY LEVER to pull for the off-chance that she's failing to steer an argument in the exact way she intended it.

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Gina really is one of a kind, and a reality TV producers DREAM. She's absolutely the reason Melbourne was such an instant hit. She's really quite captivating to watch and has a rare ability to always have a slight wink aimed at the audience that really connects and makes you root for her - even though she's a compulsive liar, gaslighter and lets be honest: A BULLY :D

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Gina is of-course also a BARRISTER, a fact that STILL seems RIDICULOUS to me even to this DAY!
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And she uses her legal background on the show to steer every single argument in her direction, frequently baffling and out-foxing the other women by taking disagreements to levels that they REALLY do not need to escalate to :D

Gina can be quite frustrating to watch, as often when CONFRONTED about things she has said instead of just ADMITTING IT - or apologising - she DOUBLES DOWN every single time, claims she is misquoted and sometimes FLAT DENIES she ever said what she said (even when shown footage of herself saying it at reunions). She really makes more trouble for herself than she needs to do on a constant basis, but thankfully for the viewer this just STIRS THE DRAMA deliciously :disco:

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Gina is absolutely one of the most QUOTABLE Housewives of all, and if for some reason you AREN'T FAMILIAR just WATCH THIS. It's basically just 6 minutes of Gina absolutely DECIMATING the rest of the Melbourne cast:


A few highlights, all coincidentally :eyes: aimed at season 4 FLOP Sally :
"Who is this woman, coming at me with her POINTY FINGER and her fucking MASSIVE CAMEL TEETH!"
"I will not WORK WITH YOU, I will not TRAVEL WITH YOU, you actually have no education - you are a PLEB!"


and my personal favourite:
"I'm not going to hang out with Sally, she can go fuck herself, but I do feel sorry for her as I know she's grieving at the moment" :D

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Gina SORT OF reminds me of Camille Grammar from Beverley Hills in that she's not a GIRLS GIRL at all - she clearly doesn't particularly crave female company. She also doesn't drink much either, which (similar to Camille) kind of baffles the other women. Her not drinking often gives her the upper hand at over-dinner fights too (not that Gina really NEEDS MUCH HELP).

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Gina basically falls out with every single cast member (aside from Venus) at some point on the show, she even has a minor squabble with noted Switzerland Chyka! I'm going to pull a few out to discuss, but please feel free to elaborate FURTHER on these wives and the others not mentioned below.

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LYDIA: Starting soft with Gina's only ally on the show. I've watched Melbourne THREE TIMES now, and it was interesting to note on my second watch just HOW SOFT Gina is on Lydia throughout.
Yes she calls her a cunt multiple times in the toilet in season 1, and yes she said she has a prostitute's mentality (which let's face it: LYDIA DOES!) but aside from that Gina almost seems sort-of FOND of Lydia?
It's kind of funny, but not really surprising, that it took Lydia until halfway through season 3 to twig that the most popular Housewife on the show was a possible ally :eyes:
Lydia essentially acts as Gina's Gretchen Weiners. They seem to have some-sort of real-life relationship too occasionally popping up on each other's Instagrams outside of shooting, and I imagine Lydia's HUGE WEALTH, Italian heritage and lack of need for constant attention are probably quite appealing to Gina.
I'm quite pleased they teamed up - it was essentially the only way Lydia could have stayed on the show after her incredible turn on season 3, and Gina DESPERATELY needed a friend.

JANET: Gina's noted frenemy on the show. They've known each other for years, and when they DO shoot a scene together it's always something out of a camp fever dream. The sit-down-dinner where Janet recreates Gina's deck-of-cards scene is probably in my top 10 EVER!
They both understand the show and know how it works, and you can absolutely imagine them sitting down together and tearing the others apart ones the cameras stop rolling. Sadly I don't think the show exploits Gina and Janet ENOUGH, and I'd love to see them have more scenes together - a Gina/Janet TEAM UP or TEAR DOWN season would both be equally delicious.
The "I'M THE FUCKING QUEEN!" // "Go DROWN IN THE POOL" exchange in season 4 remains a highlight of life.

JACKIE:

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Sorry I can't really be ARSED to cover Jackie as she doesn't really interest me, but I will say that Gina calling her a BOGAN was not cool at all - not even in some sort of ironic funny way, it was just shitty and classist.

GAMBLE:
My theory is that their ludicrous (but entertaining) season 4 feud was absolutely orchestrated by them both (and production) as a plot line - I mean Gina VS Gamble, who could resist? But rapidly spiralled out of control when Gamble realised Gina legitimately DID NOT GIVE A FUCK about her :D It's quite funny Gina was "FURIOUS" about Gamble not attending her Dad's funeral when she happily let Janet off for EXACTLY THE SAME THING! :D
On the FLIPSIDE, you can tell Gina finds some of Gamble's MANY season 4 trolling stunts HILARIOUS despite their on-screen feud :D

PETTIFLEUR:
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I'm running out of space, but the Dubai episodes of Melbourne are some of the best of ANY FRANCHISE and the iconic STOP THE FUCK fight never gets old. HOWEVER it does feel uncomfortable a WHOLE TABLE of women all ganging up on Pettifleur, as hysterical as she was, and some of the racially tinged remarks and accent-mimicks Gina does towards Pettifleur are NOT OK. I put this down to ignorance and lack of education than Gina being a racist, but you'd REALLY hope she's learnt and moved on from that behaviour in 2020.

ANDREA:
God I could write a whole write up ON their feud. It MADE THE SHOW! From the stilettos on the 40,000 dollar tennis court, to the deck of cards dinner, it's really one of the most entertaining of all. The funny thing was, Gina was actually behaving BADLY sending legal threats to the other women, but Andrea was SO AWFUL absolutely none of the viewers cared :D
The deck of cards fight is iconic, and Housewives 101. If you haven't seen it WATCH NOW, if you have WATCH AGAIN!


Every line is so quotable. I LOVE that Andrea came in thinking she was all prepared, only for Gina to eviscerate her at every opportunity :D
Andrea's BLANK DEAD face when Gina bats back her weak ass "Is that so you can wash your mouth out?" line with "I don't know, maybe Lydia could wash her VAGINA with it" kills me every time. Not to mention Andrea copying Gina's iconic powdering face move :manson:, and the face of the poor woman at the very end eating dinner in the restaurant as Gina storms out.
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Other random Gina thoughts:
- How there is not a gif made up of Gina's first scene in season 2 where she enters walking under a sign saying THE BITCH IS BACK I will NEVER KNOW :D
- Underrated Gina moment: in season 3 where she has a family dinner at her house and Gina claims to have made 3 lasagnes, roasted 2 chickens and prepared a PLETHORA of veg and sides etc. despite not having a hair out of place, and everything seemingly having been cooked in foil trays that looks SUSPICIOUSLY like ones a catering company would use :D :eyes:
- Gina isn't actually IN season 2 or 3 all that much. Honestly she's not! She misses multiple group scenes and is often carried by the power of her confessionals and incredible reunion performances. You definitely get a sense she was getting too big for her boots around this time, before CRASHING BACK DOWN TO EARTH in season 4 when the additional TV work had clearly started drying up :D

anyway, I'm done:
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All your favourite Gina thoughts/gifs/quotes etc below pls. NEXT!
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I think it’s a good write up but I don’t get Gina. Yes she delivers the one liners but she’s just unpleasant and aggressive for no reason. She’s like later seasons Nene, she just does not want to be there and she will make everyone miserable in the process.
 
A friend of mine worked for at the Vic Bar Association for several months in -- 2017 maybe? "absolutely TERRIBLE person" confirmed :D. Apparently the ethics committee looked into disbarring Gina, she behaved like an absolute COW at a funeral (running in 5 minutes late with a friend, giggling like school girls, leaving 10 minutes before the end of service) and so on and so forth.

However, that doesn't change that she's an absolutely INCREDIBLE housewife. Well, at least she was until halfway through season 4 - I agree with @Phoenix that Linnethia-ism has started to rear its ugly head with her. Thinking she's bigger than the show, phoning it in at times or not playing ball. Curious to see whether that'll change in season 5, considering the long break between season 4 and 5.
 
A friend of mine worked for at the Vic Bar Association for several months in -- 2017 maybe? "absolutely TERRIBLE person" confirmed :D. Apparently the ethics committee looked into disbarring Gina, she behaved like an absolute COW at a funeral (running in 5 minutes late with a friend, giggling like school girls, leaving 10 minutes before the end of service) and so on and so forth.

AMAZING! :D

I actually have a Gina story of my own - I was at a party last year and got talking to this girl who was from Melbourne, immediately my first question was "DO YOU WATCH REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MELBOURNE?" of which she seemed baffled I'd ever heard of it, then revealed that Gina Liano is her AUNT! :D
She's a pretty successful model, and she's at Gina's perfume launch in season 3. Unfortunately I didn't get much goss other than Gina is EXACTLY THE SAME in real life, she only likes a couple of women in the cast (I'm guessing Lydia and Janet?) and she spends most of her money on getting her HAIR DONE :D
 
However, that doesn't change that she's an absolutely INCREDIBLE housewife. Well, at least she was until halfway through season 4 - I agree with @Phoenix that Linnethia-ism has started to rear its ugly head with her. Thinking she's bigger than the show, phoning it in at times or not playing ball. Curious to see whether that'll change in season 5, considering the long break between season 4 and 5.

Yes this, despite all my criticisms of Gina (of which there are many, as she's legitimately NOT NICE at multiple times on the show) she does make amazing TV even when phoning it in.

As mentioned, I've watched Melbourne three times now:
First watch: Completely BLINDED by Gina and taking in the bonkers storylines and multiple group events in most episodes.
Second watch: Really appreciated the OTHER cast much more and their own quirks and subtler sides to their personalities.
Third watch: I really started to pick up on some of the awful things Gina does and says, as I was used to her incredible clap-backs and reactions by that point :D

I also forgot to mention Gina's GORMLESS MALE ASSISTANT GAY! :D For a woman who prides herself on her superior intellect how on EARTH did he get the job? :D
 
Spot-on write-up of Gina - particularly for nailing the fact that despite how terrible she is, you just can't help but be blinded by her as the biggest star of the show, and then fall under her spell regardless of her behaviour. I would say she's even on a par with Lisa Vanderpump in terms of it feeling like you're watching a show about her, with the other women as a supporting cast. Although a superb supporting cast, in Melbourne's case.

Season 4 was not a good look for her at all, and we all saw how bizarrely indignant she got just because the new Housewife wouldn't fall in line and bow to her. It'll be very interesting to see how she is when she comes back in season 5. So much time has passed, she's not the same star she once was in Australia, and she's a smart cookie - she'll have seen how she came across in season 4.

Season 1 Gina is what every new Housewife that comes on to one of these shows should study, however. The blueprint of how you own a season, obliterate your enemies (even if said enemies amount to the ENTIRE cast :D) and get all viewers on your side straight away. Although obviously they can study it all they want - not all of them will have the smarts of Queen Gina to execute such a perfect first season. :disco:
 
It was such a strange thing to say in the first place, but how stupid of her to walk right in to that one.

And yes, it gave us one of Gina's most iconic comebacks :disco:
 
After the first season of Melbourne I actually prefer Janet as a PERSON but Gina being fabulously vile in the Season 1 reunion was all kinds of :disco: I screamed when they played the video of her calling Lydia a cunt not once but 5 times.
 
Gina is the undisputed queen of Melbourne. She owned everyone in every scene in the first season, but like everyone else said she kind of got too big headed later on.

She is really awful, and vulgar and clearly very ignorant, but I can’t help but agree with her when she calls Jackie a Bogan or laugh with her at Gamble and Pettifleur (Queen of the Nile! :D).
 
After the first season of Melbourne I actually prefer Janet as a PERSON but Gina being fabulously vile in the Season 1 reunion was all kinds of :disco: I screamed when they played the video of her calling Lydia a cunt not once but 5 times.

Wait until the Season 2 reunion when she threatens to STAB EVERYBODY.
 
Is this countdown ever going to finish? Come on @wurst - we are busy gals here. May I add here that before there was a DNF @wurst (or @Jark ) countdown for that matter, Suedey had some legendary Madonna top 50 and all time album top 100s that never completed. This reminds me maybe I should do this now that I have time on my hands.

If @wurst finishes this then I will start one.
 
Is this countdown ever going to finish? Come on @wurst - we are busy gals here. May I add here that before there was a DNF @wurst (or @Jark ) countdown for that matter, Suedey had some legendary Madonna top 50 and all time album top 100s that never completed. This reminds me maybe I should do this now that I have time on my hands.

If @wurst finishes this then I will start one.

Hasn't Chateau Sheree taught you anything, Suedey? GREATNESS CAN'T BE RUSHED :disco:
 

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