Old (M. Night Shyamalan)

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    7

Phoenix

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One of the few movies that got an ad during the super ball about a beach that makes you grow old


Interesting cast: Vicky Krieps, Gael Garcia Bernal, Alex Wolff and Eliza Scanlen. They’re very certain it’s coming out this summer.
 

COB

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One of the most ludicrous trailers I've seen in ages :D
 

Phoenix

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I mean it can go either way with him. It’s based on a graphic novel.
 

Jark

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the title is ludicrously on the nose :D I hope it will be as awful as THE BEACH!

Alex Wolff is hot!
 

Phoenix

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Well this was not good, not campy or bad enough to be entertaining. The body horror was tame and I don’t understand why they couldn’t be bothered to actually slowly age the adults. I’m sure they could have hired some good make up artists to help.
 

jyxz

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Well this was not good, not campy or bad enough to be entertaining. The body horror was tame and I don’t understand why they couldn’t be bothered to actually slowly age the adults. I’m sure they could have hired some good make up artists to help.
Yeah. I saw this yesterday.

left the cinema with a big :meh:
 

Kratz

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I’ll be disappointed if it is is bad because it felt like he had something of a return to form (it did seem like a very difficult concept though!).
 

Phoenix

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I’ll be disappointed if it is is bad because it felt like he had something of a return to form (it did seem like a very difficult concept though!).

Isn’t every movie he releases supposed to be a return to form? It was like that with The Visit (average), Split (meh) and now this. At this point I think it’s safe to say he’s just a bit shite.
 

Frozen

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This was a solid 6 for me. The ads on TV made it seem more of a horror which it definitely wasn't.

when the kids emerged from the tent as teens and Kara was pregnant :D :D :D
 

Kratz

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Isn’t every movie he releases supposed to be a return to form? It was like that with The Visit (average), Split (meh) and now this. At this point I think it’s safe to say he’s just a bit shite.
I really liked The Visit and for him it felt like a return to form in that it was decent (when almost everything he had released in the previous decade had been actively awful).

So granted it was a low bar.
 

cwej

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I’m sorry I really couldn’t decide between a 3 and a 9. I voted 3 in the end because that’s how good the movie actually is objectively. But I enjoyed it a 9 because it really was a so bad it’s good situation.

There is one thing I think that draws me back to his movies no matter how many bad ones I see: I think he finds movies with concepts that really appeal on a base level. Often unique in nature. Which is what drew me to this one.

But as a script writer he actually writes like a child. In the same way as his child character went around and asked everyone their name and occupation, which was kinda cute and a quick fix to give us some detail about the character, Shyamalan seems to think that all people are defined by their occupations. Actuaries talk in probabilities, museum curators know the exact time that bones take to decompose and psychologists try to get everyone to talk in a circle. Every line that was spouted out because of someone’s profession made me cringe… and often laugh out loud.

Also considering his first movie garnered two acting nominations at the Oscars it really goes to show how amazing Haley Joel Osmont and Toni Collette are that ever since then he has only got terrible terrible performances from every actor he’s ever directed. It’s like he just doesn’t even care. Some of this cast are decent actors: Gael Garcia Bernal, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Ken Leung… but in this they are universally terrible. Even worse is the lead ‘mum’ character who I’ve never seen before, played by someone callled Vicky Krieps. Just appalling.

It really shows how much he doesn’t give a shit about acting that he gave himself a slightly bigger role than normal. He has been terrible in every cameo he’s ever had, and the cameo being bigger only amplifies how bad he is. If I were directing a movie, I’d hope I’d be able to identify how bad I was as an actor and keep myself out of it.

BUT I laughed so much. It was so ridiculous and I had a good time.

*also…. Surely there must have been a way to age these people up better? It’s like they didn’t even try with some of them. So many plot holes I don’t even know where to start.
 
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octophone

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I won't amplify it by linking it up but actor, all-round-"entertainer" and known sex pest John Barrowman had the front to post a video on Twitter loudly declaring this to be "shite" and claiming to have got his money back at the end because he disliked it so much.

I'd say that was probably good publicity - Barrowman is a bit of a cheese merchant and his idea of good taste is showing his cock to strangers.
 

Ellie

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I saw that. If he ever gets any other theatre role I might see it to try and demand a refund on account of him being shite, and see how he likes it, no matter the revenue towards the rest of the cast, crew, creatives and theatre staff.
 

cwej

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@cwej Vicky Krieps was very good in Phantom Thread

She is literally APPALLING in this. But like I say, I think Shyamalan turns good actors into dreadful ones basically every time. It's amazing Collette managed to turn out the performance she did now that we know how bad an actor's director he is.
 

octophone

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I saw that. If he ever gets any other theatre role I might see it to try and demand a refund on account of him being shite, and see how he likes it, no matter the revenue towards the rest of the cast, crew, creatives and theatre staff.

It's a bit "if"...
 

dUb

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Well this was an absolute load of bollocks! :D

MY UNCLE DOESN'T LIKE THE CORAL is going on my Tinder profile though
 

Phoenix

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Mine is “YOU WERE ZIX YEARZ OLD ZIS MORNING” which I believe is not a line from the movie but only the trailer
 
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Phoenix

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Literally the first line in the movie:

To the daughter “I can’t wait to hear what you sound like when you’re older”
:goodgrief:
 

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