Pingu's Ultimate 100 ESC Songs - THE COUNTDOWN

8. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Gina G - Ooh Aah... Just A Little Bit (United Kingdom 1996)
The first pop music moment I was ever aware of, the first single I ever bought (or had bought for me), and all before I had a clue what Eurovision actually was. I remember lapping up the remixes on the CD single, I distinctly remember watching the "Hey girls!" moment on TV, but the joys of the contest that birthed it wouldn't become apparent to me for another couple of years yet. Therefore, similar to Waterloo, this has always kind of existed in its own bubble independently of Eurovision, but it does give it that little extra something knowing where it came from and knowing that six year-old Pingu somehow knew he was onto something with this. I feel like this occupies its own non-Eurovision space in popular culture for a lot of other people as well, and despite R Sam doing us proud and the omnipresence of Space Man last summer, he can only dream of the level of pop pervasion that this - still the benchmark for UK Eurovision entries, achieved.



7. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Charlotte Perrelli - Hero (Sweden 2008)
I feel like I have to be careful what I say about this one around these parts. Somehow I feel like giving it its dues for being an all-time classic of its genre and literally placing it 7th in my all-time favourites list of my favourite music event in the world will count for nothing if throw even the slightest hint of "I told you so." But, this is me and I can't help myself so I'm going to - I mean come on. Everyone on here thought that the 2008 contest was going to be a coronation for THIS?! I know it was 15 years ago, but even then it was lowest common denominator Love Love Peace Peace nonsense, but performed with none of the warmth of the aforementioned interval act. Hang on though dear reader, put your pitchfork away. Just because I call this lowest common denominator doesn't take away from it being a towering behemoth at the same time, and the ultimate in giving the schlager gays pretty much everything they want. And didn't the events of May 2008 and what came after in subsequent years teach us a valuable lesson in grabbing these moments with both hands and not taking it for granted when something this precious comes along, no matter what may happen to it in the big bad world? Well, maybe not VoR, but most of us.



6. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Loreen - Euphoria (Sweden 2012) ๐Ÿฅ‡
There's everything to say about this one, but almost nothing at all, just because of how unstoppable it was in its journey to being a Eurovision winner and subsequently and international hit on a scale and with an ease we simply weren't used to in our lifetime. Back then it seemed to breathe new life into Melodifestivalen and then into Eurovision, and nowadays it has finally replaced Waterloo as the go-to "standard" for people who don't really watch Eurovision to namecheck as their all-time favourite. Poor Loreen was too lazy and/or baked to fully capitalise on its success and has become something of a one-hit wonder even in Sweden where you'd think she'd be knighted or something for her success especially when you consider how Anna Bergendahl was shunned for the opposite a couple of years earlier. Still, there's always next year... Johnny Logan really needs taken down a peg or two...

 
8. ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น Christabelle - Taboo (Malta 2018)
Some more from the "perfectly contained melodrama" now but this time of the more southern variety. Surely the unluckiest Eurovision song of all time, with only 30 songs getting in the way of Christabelle being Eurovision's first deaf winner, this is a masterclass in conveying so much passion and emotion by doing very little.
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It gets me every time :D

Animals *off beat heavy breathing* AANIMAO0oaAALS!
 
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7. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Charlotte Perrelli - Hero (Sweden 2008)
I feel like I have to be careful what I say about this one around these parts. Somehow I feel like giving it its dues for being an all-time classic of its genre and literally placing it 7th in my all-time favourites list of my favourite music event in the world will count for nothing if throw even the slightest hint of "I told you so." But, this is me and I can't help myself so I'm going to - I mean come on. Everyone on here thought that the 2008 contest was going to be a coronation for THIS?! I know it was 15 years ago, but even then it was lowest common denominator Love Love Peace Peace nonsense, but performed with none of the warmth of the aforementioned interval act. Hang on though dear reader, put your pitchfork away. Just because I call this lowest common denominator doesn't take away from it being a towering behemoth at the same time, and the ultimate in giving the schlager gays pretty much everything they want. And didn't the events of May 2008 and what came after in subsequent years teach us a valuable lesson in grabbing these moments with both hands and not taking it for granted when something this precious comes along, no matter what may happen to it in the big bad world? Well, maybe not VoR, but most of us.


I believe @Pingu is evil.
 
5. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ Birgitta - Open Your Heart (Iceland 2003)
This has got to be one of the best Eurovision opening songs of all time. Just so pure, lush and uplifting, for a while in 2003 I had a mild panic that this might stop TATU from winning... Anyway, this is exactly the kind of "melody first" song that Iceland excelled at up until the mid-2000s, and why they were my favourite Eurovision country back in my younger days. It has enough layers of production to keep interesting on repeated listens, but is simple and direct enough to appeal to most people first time around. Birgitta has spadeloads of charm as a performer, and of course since Eurovision still drifted about five years behind current trends at this point, this is exactly the kind of thing that could have been a huge hit in 1998 for the likes of Natalie Imbruglia, The Corrs or some other Radio 2 catnip. I always surprise myself that a song that's so straightforward on the surface remains so high up in my all-time rankings, but I just keep coming back to it again and again and I doubt I'll ever tire of it.



4. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ Chanรฉe & N'Evergreen - In A Moment Like This (Denmark 2010)
Time for the 2nd entry composed by Eurovision's Beethoven, Thomas G:Son, to appear in my top ten alone, and it's one of the most infamous [annoyed grunt] moments for the Swedes, having turned this song away from Melodifestivalen the previous year and seen it fly to 4th place for neighbouring Denmark while Anna Bergendahl languished in the semi-finals. Now this is the kind of paint-by-numbers schlager that I can't get enough of when it's done well, and boy is this done well. No surprises here at all, but it does exactly what is needed at every turn, ticking every box right up to the explosive final chorus. It gets bonus points for being a boy/girl duet, and gets even more bonus points for the fact they quite clearly despise one another. Yes I'm sure Jessica Anderson and Magnus Carlsson could make an even better fist of this while actually looking like they want to be there, but sometimes the folklore is what it is, it's perfect for it and it can't be explained.

 
Back in the day I always thought Open Your Heart would have made a lovely JOE MCELDERRY COVER SINGLE
 
3. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ Birthe Kjรฆr - Vi maler byen rรธd (Denmark 1989) ๐Ÿฅ‰
OK you're going to have to cut me some slack now because my top choices are where nostalgia really starts to come into play. Despite this being yet another schlager of the 80s happy-clappy variety rather than one of the minor key ones I claim to generally prefer, I have such a soft spot for this. I think it might partly be because more or less by fluke, it was my first exposure to this particular brand of music, and therefore a major milestone in my Eurovision journey. Apart from that though, it's just bursting with charm. Birthe manages to inject the whole thing with just enough class to stop it from being a completely sickening cheese-fest, the performance is just sweet, particularly the bit where she brings the conductor over to join in (probably my favourite ever old-Eurovision gimmick). I recently found out that the other two backing singers are actually the composer and lyricist, which just gives it that extra cosy feeling you just don't get nowadays, especially with hidden or pre-recorded backing vocalists. At the end of the day though, take all that away and it's still just a total earworm.

 
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Oh and it lost out to one of the worst winners of all time, so you know, robbed etc.
 
37. ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น The Rounder Girls - All To You (Austria 2000)
Look, I don't know exactly why I have this Motown pastiche so high up on the list. 2000 was the first year of my Eurovision obsession and I didn't even notice this much at the time. I think it's only years later when I got the studio version I was hooked in by the uplifting infectiousness of it all, with an extended outro and everything! It was also lovely to hear this complete also-ran quite a bit at the contest in Vienna, although in fairness it's not like Austria had all that rich a Eurovision history to draw from. Pleasantly surprised to see today that this finished 14th - for some reason I had always assumed it got about 8 points.
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One of them has a GRAMMY :disco:

 
2. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Carola - Invincible (Sweden 2006)
Until Loreen's return this year (although this is an old countdown so let's pretend that didn't exist for the time being) this was the best example of a former winner coming back and giving us everything we could possibly want from them. They've mostly felt like a bit of a tragic step down, ended in heartbreak, or both. Whereas this felt like a real moment, with Carola completely elevating what came before and returning like a superstar, with the attitude to go with it - really serving cunt in every sense of the expression. Also, what modern producers can't quite seem to grasp is that schlager is a genre that can never be too overblown, something that is demonstrated impeccably with this song, which commits to getting huger at every turn. Easily the definitive Swedish entry for me.

 
Iโ€™ve just read a section on this in Christer Bjorkmanโ€™s book. He is sat backstage with Carola during the 2006 final voting:

Christer: well I know how this will go mathematically now [after a few votes] - Finland are taking this.

Carola looks confused.

Christer: listen pet, youโ€™ve done amazing - at best youโ€™ll come 2nd and worst 5th - thatโ€™s so good. Plus youโ€™ll beat local diva Anna Vissi.

Carola looks confused and in denial.

Christer: Well look, Finland are going to win soโ€ฆ

Carola: but I donโ€™t like that song??

Christer: Okay, well, think of it this way: Finland have never won in 40+ years so maybe you can be happy for that reason

Carola looks confused and in denial, also enraged

Christer: so please, for the press, be happy for Finland when they win.

[later that evening]

Press: how do you feel about Finland winning?

Carola: I honestly donโ€™t know, Iโ€™ll have to sleep on it.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Honestly what a nightmare personality :disco:
 
As Jark's Kylie countdown storms at full speed towards its thrilling conclusion, I guess I had better finish this. I'd felt a bit awkward about doing so as my favourite entry is an Israeli one, so I'll reveal it now and save the gushing for when it's a little bit less sensitive, but this has been my favourite Eurovision song since I was a child, and I can't see it ever being overtaken. Those who know my soft spot for multiple superfluous key changes will not be surprised by this:

 
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Full countdown:
100. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น Francesca Michielin - No Degree Of Separation (Italy 2016)
99. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ Malene - Tell Me Who You Are (Denmark 2002)
98. ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด Charmed - My Heart Goes Boom (Norway 2000)
97. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช Paul Harrington & Charlie McGettigan - Rock 'n' Roll Kids (Ireland 1994) ๐Ÿฅ‡
96. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท Anna Vissi - Autostop (Greece 1980)
95. ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ Marta Jandovรก & Vรกclav Noid Bรกrta - Hope Never Dies (Czech Republic 2015)
94. ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Teach-In - Ding-A-Dong (The Netherlands 1975) ๐Ÿฅ‡
93. ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด Margaret Berger - I Feed You My Love (Norway 2013)
92. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น Gigliola Cinquetti - Si (Italy 1974) ๐Ÿฅˆ
91. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ Valentina Monetta - Crisalide (Vola) (San Marino 2013)
90. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช Niamh Kavanagh - In Your Eyes (Ireland 1993) ๐Ÿฅ‡
89. ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด Mandinga - Zaleilah (Romania 2012)
88. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช Joy Fleming - Ein Lied Kann Eine Brรผcke Sein (Germany 1975)
87. ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช Loรฏc Nottet - Rhythm Inside (Belgium 2015)
86. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น Mia Martini - Rapsodia (Italy 1992)
80. ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ Natalia Gordienko - Sugar (Moldova 2021)
79. ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ Angelica Agurbash - Love Me Tonight (Belarus 2005)
78. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช Liam Reilly - Somewhere In Europe (Ireland 1990) ๐Ÿฅˆ
77. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Imaani - Where Are You? (United Kingdom 1998) ๐Ÿฅˆ
76. ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ Laka - Pokuลกaj (Bosnia & Herzegovina 2008)
75. ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ Marta Roure - Jugarem A Estimar-Nos (Andorra 2004)
74. ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช Kate Ryan - Je T'Adore (Belgium 2006)
73. ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love (Australia 2018)
72. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Carola - Frรคmling (Sweden 1983) ๐Ÿฅ‰
71. ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ Cรฉline Dion - Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi (Switzerland 1988) ๐Ÿฅ‡
70. ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ Samra - Miracle (Azerbaijan 2016)
69. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ Anzej Dezan - Mr Nobody (Slovenia 2006)
68. ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด Tooji - Stay (Norway 2012)
67. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Arvingarna - Eloise (Sweden 1993)
66. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Ilanit - Ahava Hi Shir Lishnayim (Israel 1977)
65. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช Cascada - Glorious (Germany 2013)
64. ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ Dino Merlin - Love In Rewind (Bosnia & Herzegovina 2011)
63. ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ Sergey Lazarev - You Are The Only One (Russia 2016) ๐Ÿฅ‰
62. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Malena Ernman - La Voix (Sweden 2009)
61. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Dana International - Ding Dong (Israel 2011)
60. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Chips - Dag efter dag (Sweden 1982)
59. ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ Saara Aalto - Monsters (Finland 2018)
58. ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity (Australia 2019)
57. ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ Esther Ofarim - T'en Vas Pas (Switzerland 1963) ๐Ÿฅˆ
56. ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ Mariya Yaremchuk - Tick Tock (Ukraine 2014)
55. ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ Karina - En Un Mundo Nuevo (Spain 1971) ๐Ÿฅˆ
54. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ Senhit - Adrenalina (San Marino 2021)
53. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Bonnie Tyler - Believe In Me (United Kingdom 2013)
52. ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Common Linnets - Calm After The Storm (The Netherlands 2014) ๐Ÿฅˆ
51. ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ Kati Wolf - What About My Dreams (Hungary 2011)
50. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช Niamh Kavanagh - It's For You (Ireland 2010)
49. ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น Claudette Pace - Desire (Malta 2000)
48. ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น Chiara - Angel (Malta 2005) ๐Ÿฅˆ
47. ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ Nina - Nacida Para Amar (Spain 1989)
46. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Sweet Dreams - I'm Never Giving Up (United Kingdom 1983)
45. ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด KEiiNO - Spirit In The Sky (Norway 2019)
44. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท Anna Vissi - Everything (Greece 2006)
43. ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ Jana Burฤeska - Dance Alone (North Macedonia 2017)
42. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Eric Saade - Popular (Sweden 2011) ๐Ÿฅ‰
41. ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ Lys Assia - Refrain (Switzerland 1956) ๐Ÿฅ‡
40. ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ Svetlana Loboda - Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl) (Ukraine 2009)
39. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Dana International - Diva (Israel 1998) ๐Ÿฅ‡
38. ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ Paolo Meneguzzi - Era Stupendo (Switzerland 2008)
37. ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น The Rounder Girls - All To You (Austria 2000)
36. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ Heart 2 Heart - Nei Eรฐa Jรก (Iceland 1992)
35. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Izhar Cohen - Olรฉ Olรฉ (Israel 1985)
34. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช The Swarbriggs Plus Two - It's Nice To Be In Love Again (Ireland 1977) ๐Ÿฅ‰
33. ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ Ivi Adamou - La La Love (Cyprus 2012)
32. ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ CatCat - Bye Bye Baby (Finland 1994)
31. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Katrina and the Waves - Love Shine A Light (United Kingdom 1997) ๐Ÿฅ‡
30. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช Silver Convention - Telegram (Germany 1977)
29. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ Euroband - This Is My Life (Iceland 2008)
28. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Kikki Danielsson - Bra Vibrationer (Sweden 1985) ๐Ÿฅ‰
27. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Liora - Amen (Israel 1995)
26. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช Texas Lightning - No No Never (Germany 2006)
25. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ Hera Bjรถrk - Je Ne Sais Quoi (Iceland 2010)
24. ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด Bobbysocks - La det swinge (Norway 1985) ๐Ÿฅ‡
23. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช ABBA - Waterloo (Sweden 1974) ๐Ÿฅ‡
22. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท Antique - Die For You (Greece 2001) ๐Ÿฅ‰
21. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช Linda Martin - Why Me (Ireland 1992) ๐Ÿฅ‡
20. ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ Poli Genova - If Love Was A Crime (Bulgaria 2016)
19. ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ Salomรฉ - Vivo Cantando (Spain 1969) ๐Ÿฅ‡
18. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Charlotte Nilsson - Take Me To Your Heaven (Sweden 1999) ๐Ÿฅ‡
17. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Nicki French - Don't Play That Song Again (United Kingdom 2000)
16. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ Nuลกa Derenda - Energy (Slovenia 2001)
15. ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Anouk โ€“ Birds (The Netherlands 2013)
14. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท Sakis Rouvas โ€“ This Is Our Night (Greece 2009)
13. ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ Ani Lorak โ€“ Shady Lady (Ukraine 2008) ๐Ÿฅˆ
12. ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น Conchita Wurst โ€“ Rise Like A Phoenix (Austria 2014) ๐Ÿฅ‡
11. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ Olsen Brothers โ€“ Fly On The Wings Of Love (Denmark 2000) ๐Ÿฅ‡
10. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท Helena Paparizou - My Number One (Greece 2005) ๐Ÿฅ‡
9. ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ Eleni Foureira - Fuego (Cyprus 2018) ๐Ÿฅˆ
8. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Gina G - Ooh Aah... Just A Little Bit (United Kingdom 1996)
7. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Charlotte Perrelli - Hero (Sweden 2008)
6. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Loreen - Euphoria (Sweden 2012) ๐Ÿฅ‡
5. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ Birgitta - Open Your Heart (Iceland 2003)
4. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ Chanรฉe & N'Evergreen - In A Moment Like This (Denmark 2010)
3. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ Birthe Kjรฆr - Vi maler byen rรธd (Denmark 1989) ๐Ÿฅ‰
2. ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Carola - Invincible (Sweden 2006)
1. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Gali Atari feat. Milk & Honey - Hallelujah (Israel 1979) ๐Ÿฅ‡
 
Obviously it's taken "a while" to finish this, and we've had two contests since, but if I were to do a revised version of this, I'd probably have these included from the 2022 crop:

Top 50: ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer


Top 100: ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น Monika Liu - Sentimentai


Top 100: ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ We Are Domi - Lights Out


I'd give it at least a year before assessing the 2023 bunch in an "all-time" capacity, but I think it's fairly obvious that Tattoo would feature, possibly along with I Wrote A Song, Who The Hell Is Edgar and ร‰videmment.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Bye.
 

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