Presenting your CUNTS and QOLS of 2018

I don't know Jameela Jamil but the name rings a bell, did she ever do the UK top 40 on Radio 1?
 
She has been busy lately telling celebs to fuck off promoting bullshit weight loss products.
 
I don’t even know who the #6 and #9 QOLs ARE!

Pass me my Puzzler and neck brace would you Pedro
 
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#5 Mariah Carey (55 pts)

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Speaking of TOP 5, this Superior Queen of the Universe peaked at #3 this week on the Hot 100 with "All I Want for Christmas Is You" 24 years after its release, broke the Spotify streaming record, released one of THE most critically acclaimed albums of the decade "Caution" and told your useless fave to GTFO.

YOU FAVE COULD NEVER.
 
#4 Philomena Cunk (56 pts)

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Somewhat familiar with this character. From what I've seen, she's a gut buster.
 
I had a terrible feeling that the opportunity to give Mariah her first number one in 15 years might have had the chat lounge Lambily going hey ey ey ey like a girl gone wild with the 12s MAIS MERCIFULLY NON
 
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If you dont know Philomena get on YouTube. Although she may not translate to international audiences.
 
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#3 Cher (66 pts)

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If you were gonna make a Mamma Mia 2 and you needed someone to do an ABBA tribute album AND star in the film, who ELSE is there except this fabulous dead bitch to do the job? Madonna FUMING.
 
#2 David Attenborough (68 pts)

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All I know is he does nature documentaries and he's really good at it.
 
#1 Kylie Minogue (103 pts)

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One word: GOLDEN.

Light years ahead of everybody else on this list, Kylie snatches the crown just like that. Having moved to USA this year I've be ecstatic to learn how much they love her here and how much they STILL play her. "Golden's" tracks are played in lots of places.
 
#2 David Attenborough (68 pts)

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All I know is he does nature documentaries and he's really good at it.

He IS nature documentaries :disco:

God knows what we’d do without him although I’ve always got my Puzzler :(
 
#1 Kylie Minogue (103 pts)

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One word: GOLDEN.

Light years ahead of everybody else on this list, Kylie snatches the crown just like that. Having moved to USA this year I've be ecstatic to learn how much they love her here and how much they STILL play her. "Golden's" tracks are played in lots of places.

She got my 12 :disco: She is the QOL and I'm not even a superfan
 
Also it would be fun if our list of cunts were all killed by as many bullets to the head as points they have each earned.
 
I've no disrespect whatsoever for D-ATT but I find his docus interminably tedious and he simply is not a QOL
 
Just for clarity:

11 Courtney Act 36
12 June Whitfield 33
13 Jackie Fast 30
13 Faye Tozer 30
15 Samantha Fox 27
15 Sara Aalto 27
17 Natalia Pliacam 24
18 Naomi Osaka 21
19 Kacey Musgraves 19
20 Kathy Griffin 18

21 Gareth Southgate 17
22 Christine and the Queens 16
22 Eleni Foureira 16
24 SOPHIE 14
25 Charli XCX 10
25 Kathleen Zellner 10
25 Michelle Wolf 10
28 Monét X Change 4

If you hadn't done this I'd have done it and risked being nominated as January Cunt of the Month for doing so.

IT WAS GETTING MY GOAT READING THOSE TIES ANNOUNCED LIKE THAT.
 
Anyway, great work guys! Thanks for putting it together. A little OBVIOUS winners for my taste, but can't complain really.

How Kathleen Zellner didn't pick up more points for QOL is beyond me though. The woman is an absolute force of nature.
 
I did not present the ties like that. I admit I gave KC some very raw data but the numbers were all correct.
 

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