49. Like A Virgin (Like A Virgin, 1984)
UK chart position: 3
Key live version: Blond Ambition Tour (1990)
Key remix: Extended Dance Mix (1984)
I can almost hear the collective groans and see the eye rolls but hear me out please. ‘Like A Virgin’ = Madonna. It is as simple as that. It is a chameleon of a song in live format – just as she is. It is a delicious juxtaposition of contrasts – just as she is. And it is, quite simply, sordid – just as she is. Bubble-gum pop was never the same again after this song. I still marvel at the sheer audacity of her at that early stage in her career and in the ‘80s, blatantly singing about not being a virgin. A lot of feminists were up in arms at the time with headlines like Madonna setting back the women’s liberation movement by 50 years of something thanks to songs like this but they had it all wrong. ‘Like A Virgin’ is probably the most effortlessly feminist statement of her entire career (ironically penned by two men). In studio form it is quite simple, and the bassline is very reminiscent of ‘Billie Jean’ (which she acknowledged by interpolating into the Virgin Tour performances in 1985).
'It hurts. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt. You know, her pussy should be Bubble-Yum by now. But when this cat fucks her, it hurts. It hurts like it did the first time.
You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what is once like to be a virgin. Hence, "Like a Virgin."' (from Reservoir Dogs)
‘Like A Virgin’ really took on a life of its own with the 1990 Blond Ambition Tour performance where she simulated masturbation with two eunuchs in cone bras. It was brazen, filthy and absolutely genius. Since then, it has had many other incarnations including a cabaret-style reinvention a la Marlene Dietrich (Girlie Show Tour) and the morbid, underrated waltz of a performance in the 2012 MDNA Tour which she sang flawlessly in a far more comfortable lower register. Yes, it is overplayed; yes, it is every basic queen’s go-to karaoke song – but that does not take away its sheen. Not for me at least.