"Woke brands" and awful corporate Twitter accounts

Mugatu

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We need a place to collect and make fun of these things. I know shitting on brand accounts only satisfies these disgusting craven bastards and their thirst for clicks but something about it is so infuriating.

Sunny Delight now officially has depression:





Netflix loves the gays:



Slightly different but also classics of the genre:



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I feel like that insane Meghan Trainor press release that just came out also fits this topic somehow. How do you do, fellow gays?

Valentine's Day is around the corner, and whether you're planning on smashing bae's junk to smithereens or making out with a pint of Phish Food, you need some fresh Valentine's Day bops to get you in the mood for L♡VE. And MEGHAN TRAINOR has got you covered with her new EP, THE LOVE TRAIN [Epic Records.]

You know you want it. And you can freakin' get it b*tch. On all digital platforms right HERE.

Meghan's seducing your ears this V-Day, and you know she knows a thing or two about romance. Unless your phone's been broken for a hot minute, you know that Meghan just got married to the ginger from Spy Kids, and trust when we say, girl is feeling the love. She took a break from her busy schedule to record some fire tracks in Los Angeles alongside frequent collaborators and producers Andrew Wells [5SOS, Fall Out Boy, Jason Mraz], J KASH (Maroon 5, Charlie Puth, Kesha) and Tyler Johnson [Harry Styles, CAM].

We know you want to hear songs about all the hot newlywed sex Meghan and Daryl Sa-BAE-ra :DAF: are having (did you see what we did there?). Which is why you'll love the banging' single "All The Ways." Billboard was wet for "All The Ways," calling it "another fun, danceable track to fall in love with." And would Billboard lie to you, girl? :D :bruised:

But perhaps the piece de resistance (that's French for "Wig Snatch") is "Marry Me," a romantic acoustic guitar and ukulele-tinged Awww Fest which delivers all the feels (and then more feels). Meghan wrote the song thirty days after meeting Daryl, and it was so good that she walked down the aisle to it. We know, it's a little bit #Vomworthy, but also, am I chopping onions right now or are those tears rolling down my face? I'm not crying, you're crying.

And as always, our Grammy-Winning, Diamond Single-having QUEEN didn't just come to play -- she came to slay. She's serving vocals on the passionate, Celine Dion-esque power ballad 'After You.' Plus, Meghan's serving your insatiable thirst for dance-ready bops with the upbeat banger that is "Foolish." It slaps so hard you'll be stanning for days. "As if all the PDA, including foot massages, butterfly kisses and piggy back rides aren't cringe worthy enough," says her brother and videographer Ryan... "I've got to film it all!" :gross:

Choo choo betch! The Love Train is leaving the station and you better get on board. Be on the lookout for more surprises very soon as she prepares for a landmark 2019."
 
Honestly I need a job spouting this shit RIGHT NOW

I GOT IT COVERED
 
I feel like that insane Meghan Trainor press release that just came out also fits this topic somehow. How do you do, fellow gays?
What in the risen fuck is this even supposed to say? It's like the dying thoughts of someone being electrocuted, I'm exhausted just trying to interpret it.
 
The worst for me was seeing The Co-op draped in rainbow flags around the last London Pride. In 2015 I was hired for a commercial with them after a friend recommended me for the audition (I did it just for the experience and have no acting aspirations) and it was going to feature different couples coming home excited to cook each other a tonight's tea food from the Co-op. One of these couples was going to be a male gay couple and would have been the first of its kind for a major supermarket. Come the night before filming and I get a call to say that some corporate bigwig at The Co-op had seen the storyboard and was uncomfortable with the idea of having a gay couple, forcing the creative team to re-write their ideas and instead have two 'laddish' housemates. And of course with no versatility I was promptly dropped and that was that for the supermarket dipping its toe in LGBT representation, hence my eyebrow being raised seeing them capitalising during subsequent Pride.
 
I watched the Pride parade at both Brighton and Bristol last year, and it's so hard not to do MASSIVE EYE ROLLS whenever the NatWest/Tesco/AVIVA/Vodafone etc etc floats go past.

I mean I like to THINK that some of them have lovely progressive HR policies and the like, but it feels very tokenistic.
 
Well I guess it's pretty much ALL the corporate floats. And I'm sure that some of them may have great LGBTQ policies. But even if they do, seeing them at Pride just doesn't sit right for me.
 
I mean I like to THINK that some of them have lovely progressive HR policies and the like, but it feels very tokenistic.

I can only speak for one part of one of those mentioned (no guesses or comments here please, y'all the know the drill) and I feel they walk it as they talk it. No company can expect every employee to agree with every element of their equality and diversity policies but the stickler is how you conduct yourself inside and outside. A staff member in my building was dismissed for discriminatory comments made on Twitter and I think the management can be proud of their decision.

That said, fuck Corporate Pride and fuck Pride TM © plc.
 
Isn’t that precisely why a lot of people boycott Pride these days and set up non-commercial alternatives.

(KC & Rita to argue over whether this counts as a boycott)
 
The worst for me was seeing The Co-op draped in rainbow flags around the last London Pride. In 2015 I was hired for a commercial with them after a friend recommended me for the audition (I did it just for the experience and have no acting aspirations) and it was going to feature different couples coming home excited to cook each other a tonight's tea food from the Co-op. One of these couples was going to be a male gay couple and would have been the first of its kind for a major supermarket. Come the night before filming and I get a call to say that some corporate bigwig at The Co-op had seen the storyboard and was uncomfortable with the idea of having a gay couple, forcing the creative team to re-write their ideas and instead have two 'laddish' housemates. And of course with no versatility I was promptly dropped and that was that for the supermarket dipping its toe in LGBT representation, hence my eyebrow being raised seeing them capitalising during subsequent Pride.

A bigwig at Co-op once messaged me on a gay dating app offering COKE shortly after being disgraced in the press, so I guess it's a broad church.
 
We've taken to booing the groups and companies we don't like, e.g. LGBT Tories and BAE systems. One teenage girl told us off last year and said we needed to 'be positive', so my friend went off on one. He reminded her that Pride was a protest and if she wanted to a party, she should go to Creamfields. :D:disco:
 
We've taken to booing the groups and companies we don't like, e.g. LGBT Tories and BAE systems. One teenage girl told us off last year and said we needed to 'be positive', so my friend went off on one. He reminded her that Pride was a protest and if she wanted to a party, she should go to Creamfields. :D:disco:

This is where Glasgow Pride got itself into trouble by having the fucking POLICE lead the march in 2017. A lot of people didn't like that but it wasn't until a whole bunch of people didn't get into to see steps the following year that it actually kicked off. Which says everything.
 
Re: The Co-Op. That's one corporate bigwig who is an idiot rather than the brand. I worked for them as a student and they were pretty forward thinking even then and I can't imagine it's (generally) changed, although the example above is a shit one.

The bank as well has done loads of proactive stuff, including for the LGBT community. They were the first to reject accounts by hate organisations (for want of a better term), weren't they?
 
I watched the Pride parade at both Brighton and Bristol last year, and it's so hard not to do MASSIVE EYE ROLLS whenever the NatWest/Tesco/AVIVA/Vodafone etc etc floats go past.

I mean I like to THINK that some of them have lovely progressive HR policies and the like, but it feels very tokenistic.

I tell you what annoys me. Companies that do all this kind of ethical flag waving but behind the scenes are anything but. We have a major client who have just asked us to sign a new contract. Hidden in it is a load of legalese which basically means "If our client doesn't pay us, we're not paying you" and trying to get payment terms of "we'll pay when we're paid" with no open end. This completely would destroy a small company, thinks nothing of the freelancers my industry relies on and the bills they have to pay at the end and is just corporate bullying by a company with the clout to do so.

And my point? A few weeks ago, with a massive amount of fanfare, they were named one of the UK's leading "Ethical Employers". It's all bullshit.
 
Corporate pride is the worst. It's easy to be on the right side of history when everyone has done the hard work for you. I'm interested in the companies who were banging the drum when it wasn't fashionable to do so - where was Barclays bank when AIDS victims were dying in the 80s? Propping up all the cunts who were blocking AIDS research! They can die in a fire for all I care.
 
Not that I'm always on the side of multinational companies, but in terms of pushing the LGBT agenda, I think these companies have a huge responsibility in pushing the envelope in countries where being LGBT isn't as accepted (like India)

I think we should probably be looking at their records now, not what they didn't do 40 years ago
 
And anyway don't most of these companies bank roll Pride?

Heaven forbid the gays didn't get to see Nikki French or Stooshe :side-eye:
 
Are the multinational companies actually promoting gay rights in the more repressive countries where they do business? If BAE Systems start sending Tornados to Saudi Arabia painted in the rainbow flag then they can trumpet their commitment to gay rights.
 
Like any big corporation would risk a penny of investment in the name of gay rights!
 
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I think we should probably be looking at their records now, not what they didn't do 40 years ago

I agree with this. The general societal attitude and approach has evolved so much in the last 30-40 years that calling a company shit for not having gender-neutral toilets in 1987 is a waste of energy.

I also agree with Sheena that there's vastly more to ethics than diversity and ignoring that is irresponsible.
 
Not that I'm always on the side of multinational companies, but in terms of pushing the LGBT agenda, I think these companies have a huge responsibility in pushing the envelope in countries where being LGBT isn't as accepted (like India)

I think we should probably be looking at their records now, not what they didn't do 40 years ago

Babe, not to go all cuntry on you, but India has really vibrant LGBT communities and the decriminalisation that finally happened last year was entirely due to the indigenous activist movement.

Where these corporations could really show support is through £££. That's what our movements need.
 
I agree with this. The general societal attitude and approach has evolved so much in the last 30-40 years that calling a company shit for not having gender-neutral toilets in 1987 is a waste of energy.

No one (at least not me) is running PURITY TESTS to see who was holier than thou in 1987. But DOING THE DECENT THING in 2019 when pretty much everyone else and their grandmother loves the gays is no achievement and the fact that big corporations try to pass it off as a measure of modernity is laughable at best.
 
It's way too easy to stick a flag on your store, sell some pride merch, appear in the parade and feel like you've done your job. I'd like to see them taking a much moe substantive stance in Britain; the rest of the world doesn't matter so much
 
The reason I called out India was because of the footprint so many multi nationals have in the country. It's nice to see some companies implementing employment policies that are progressive in the country which in turn put pressure on the government to broaden the agenda and rights for the wider LGBT community

There's still more that they can do, of course there is, but they aren't (all) doing nothing
 
Yaaaaaas, Dow Chemical!

This is one of the most obnoxious woke corporation articles I've ever seen, the word is so meaningless now. They literally mention pollution and chemical weapons once. You can sell as much napalm as you want but the guy profiting from it is gay, so it doesn't matter.

 

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