Worst Places to Live + derelict buildings + other fascinating urban architecture + brutalism

[dmlaw]

Call me a slum landlord all you like, at least my place has FLOORING

And if they put a mark on that flooring, you will have their deposit off them in a second.

 

[Saltwater]

Is that pigeon poo on those planks on the floor?

 

[win_the_game]

Is that BLACK MOULD on the bathroom tiles?

 

[RJN]

No floor means no sweeping. Black mold adds some adventure to your life. @COB how do I sign up for it?

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

It would make a nice place for anonymous sex and other questionable activities.

 

[Zu]

We can even pick up some tinnies from Asda on the way.

Splashing out a bit there darling. You and your LONDON WAYS! Nothing wrong with the CASH AND CARRY!

 

[jyxz]

The Mouse Bunker /Mäusebunker, Berlin.

 

[Zu]

View attachment 5065The Mouse Bunker /Mäusebunker, Berlin.

I LIKE IT

 

[Zu]

Slight lack of windows though

 

[Zu]

OMG it has an UNDERGROUND TUNNEL!

 

[Zu]

 

[Zu]

ZUM TOD!

 

[Kate]

As suggested by the name it was an animal research lab I hope some of them escaped through the pipes although it would only be to fall to their DEATH

 

[Zu]

As suggested by the name it was an animal research lab I hope some of them escaped through the pipes although it would only be to fall to their DEATH

Apparently some did get out and turned into raccoons which is why Berlin has RACCOONS

 

[COB]

View attachment 5065The Mouse Bunker /Mäusebunker, Berlin.

@Iguana @Tisch

 

[Zu]

Speaking of WORST PLACES TO LIVE, has that awful @Kate abandoned her silly Mile End plans yet? You don’t get the multi-storey luxury of TESCO KENSINGTON over there darling. STABBY BEST-IN AT BEST

 

[Kate]

No-one seems to want to buy my Glammersmith DES RES yet so I'm not going anywhere at the moment

I looked at one ten minutes down the road yesterday but it's so close to the A4 that the gracious tits out balcony was frightfully noisy

 

[ZenGiraffe]

No-one seems to want to buy my Glammersmith DES RES yet so I'm not going anywhere at the moment

I looked at one ten minutes down the road yesterday but it's so close to the A4 that the gracious tits out balcony was frightfully noisy

But does that mean some lightly sexist workmen can honk at said tits in passing? Because that's a plus

 

[Zu]

No-one seems to want to buy my Glammersmith DES RES yet so I'm not going anywhere at the moment

No-one seems to want to buy my Glammersmith DES RES yet so I'm not going anywhere at the moment

I looked at one ten minutes down the road yesterday but it's so close to the A4 that the gracious tits out balcony was frightfully noisy

It’s a SIGN

Better GLAMMERSMITH than PILE END

 

[Zu]

But does that mean some lightly sexist workmen can honk at said tits in passing? Because that's a plus

And also one can overlook a bit of racket if one ends up with a lovely pair of BRONZED BOUNCERS

 

[Zu]

@Kate Just have a bit of a PERK-ME-UP REDEC instead and burn the Morrissey posters

 

[Kate]

I am not giving up my TITS OUT BALCONY DREAM!

 

[Lucille]

Have you tried putting away your DIRTY KNICKS?!?

 

[Zu]

Have you tried putting away your DIRTY KNICKS?!?

Oh darling I viewed it last week and they’re STREWN

Also it’s not nice to say it but I think SHE might be @Martha Skidd. Talk about FILLING EACH AND EVERY BOWL!

 

[Zu]

I am not giving up my TITS OUT BALCONY DREAM!

Which way do your windows face? Just BAP ‘EM OUT and sit in front of the windows if they face east or west

BRILLIANTLY SIMPLE, SIMPLY BRILLIANT and YOU’RE WELCOME

 

[Kate]

They face straight across the courtyard onto lots of other people's windows

 

[Zu]

Also @Kate - and I have mentioned this before - the joy of a balcony is very much based on what it LOOKS ONTO and unless you’re in Chelsea or Wapping or other places I can’t think of, the likelihood is NOT MUCH OF ANY INTEREST OR NICENESS and you might as well invest in a few sessions at TANFASTIC to get those norks in PRIME MAHOGANY CONDITION

 

[Zu]

They face straight across the courtyard onto lots of other people's windows

Oh

 

[lolly]

Have you tried putting away your DIRTY KNICKS?!?

Or at least put them in a basket and not hang them as wall art.

 

[Zu]

They face straight across the courtyard onto lots of other people's windows

You could always start a continental trend of sunbathing - when it is actually sunny, I mean this isn’t Crete - TOUT NU in the courtyard

 

[Kate]

Also @Kate - and I have mentioned this before - the joy of a balcony is very much based on what it LOOKS ONTO and unless you’re in Chelsea or Wapping or other places I can’t think of, the likelihood is NOT MUCH OF ANY INTEREST OR NICENESS and you might as well invest in a few sessions at TANFASTIC to get those norks in PRIME MAHOGANY CONDITION

Oh yes I know and I'm only considering ones that face south or west and haven't got someone else's balcony immediately above blocking out the sun

The Mile End one faces west and has views of the cemetery (yes where the homophobic murder happened the other week ) AND Canary Wharf AND The City. It's perfect

 

[Zu]

Or at least put them in a basket and not hang them as wall art.

I’ve heard she does the same with used tampons and tells viewers they’re Tracey Emin in an attempt to impress

 

[Kate]

Or at least put them in a basket and not hang them as wall art.

First I have to take down Morrissey, now THIS? Honestly there'll be NOTHING LEFT except my LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE mural!

 

[Zu]

First I have to take down Morrissey, now THIS? Honestly there'll be NOTHING LEFT except my LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE mural!

Don’t think I didn’t notice the Sylvanian Fanilies collection

 

[COB]

Sylvanian Fanilies

! whether this was intentional or not

 

[Zu]

! whether this was intentional or not

It wasn't, but let's go with it

 

[Zu]

@Kate Maybe try to depersonalise it a bit, like they do when they remove the pictures on the wall on COME DINE. It's quite hard for people to look beyond what's already there if they don't have very much imagination. Which a lot of people don't

Just call me your in-lounge ESTATE AGENT

 

[dmlaw]

Oh yes I know and I'm only considering ones that face south or west and haven't got someone else's balcony immediately above blocking out the sun

The Mile End one faces west and has views of the cemetery (yes where the homophobic murder happened the other week ) AND Canary Wharf AND The City. It's perfect

Look on the bright side. If there’s going to be homophobic murders, at least it will persuade the Moopy masses to be off home before sundown.

 

[Kate]

@Kate Maybe try to depersonalise it a bit, like they do when they remove the pictures on the wall on COME DINE. It's quite hard for people to look beyond what's already there if they don't have very much imagination. Which a lot of people don't

Just call me your in-lounge ESTATE AGENT

I've done my best - you should have seen it before! I haven't got the space to hide anything else...

 

[Zu]

Look on the bright side. If there’s going to be homophobic murders, at least it will persuade the Moopy masses to be off home before sundown.

On which note, don't forget to bring your IKEA bags to discreetly fill up after we've enjoyed the sausage rolls, girls. Them Sylvanian Fanilies go for a pretty penny on eBay