Would you go on a cruise?

[Saltwater]

Plus i always thought cruises were meant to be for old people.

 

[Christian]

They look so shit and very declassé.

And don’t get me started on those GAY cruises.

 

[Kate]

What about those 80s ones where you get TONY HADLEY and ONE OF BANANARAMA performing in the LONGE at night

If they did a 90s dance one I'd be THERE faster than you can say CALL HIM MR RAIDER.

 

[Christian]

Are you joking?

That sounds even more HELLISH than the standard BUS on the SEA a cruise usually consists of.

 

[Saltwater]

IT WAS BILLED AS A CRUISE. It was probably this one http://www.cruisecyprus.com/louis_egypt.htm

This reminded me that I actually went for a one day cruise once, not this particular one, but the way they present this sort of cruises. There was some nice site seeing and beaches you can't access otherwise but overall felt like i wasted one day of my holidays to be run around to see everything without the time to enjoy it properly.

 

[Christian]

I do laugh when people try to make out they’re some kind of DELUXE experience.

They might cost an insane amount but the experience is very cross channel ferry.

 

[GinAg (39)]

I think I probably once would have liked to, but they're just giant toilets.

 

[Kate]

This reminded me that I actually went for a one day cruise once, not this particular one, but the way they present this sort of cruises. There was some nice site seeing and beaches you can't access otherwise but overall felt like i wasted one day of my holidays to be run around to see everything without the time to enjoy it properly.

Yes, our day in Egypt was a bit disappointing as well. I would have liked a LOT more time at the pyramids just to take it all in, but they rushed us off to a fucking papyrus factory that no-one gave a shit about.

 

[Saltwater]

Yes, our day in Egypt was a bit disappointing as well. I would have liked a LOT more time at the pyramids just to take it all in, but they rushed us off to a fucking papyrus factory that no-one gave a shit about.

They usually get a commission from wherever they run us to that's why they are rushing in a thousand stops and activities.

 

[Dark Carnival]

They seem awful. No.

 

[Saltwater]

Also in some cases for the price of a luxurious cruise you can rent a saling boat for yourself and some friends, and a captain and make your own schedule as you wish, which is much more interesting.

 

[COB]

What about those 80s ones where you get TONY HADLEY and ONE OF BANANARAMA performing in the LONGE at night

I must admit that I very briefly thought this is what @dUb meant when he mentioned the FIVE STAR EXPERIENCE on the previous page, but I'm not sure they'd be that big a draw nowadays

 

[vespertine]

Of course!

I'm always up for something GAUCHE. At least I'd have a tale or two to tell.

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

The idea of a nice cruise is… just an idea.


I’ve been on plenty ”fun” crusies across the Baltic. They’re usually only for one day and for getting drunk. Very trashy.

I once fell down the stairs and broke my wrist and cut my chin on a cruise to E-fucking-tonia. I was so drunk I could barely feel any pain when they sew my chin.

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

And once I did a proper cruise with friends. It was supposed to be a luxury cruise, we went from Bilbao to Malaga and stopped in Lisbon and Tangier, which was lovely, but the cruise itself was horrible, average age was about 65, the food almost inedible and my friends had a fight so we had to split the group in two.

 

[Beverley]

The idea of a nice cruise is… just an idea.


I’ve been on plenty ”fun” crusies across the Baltic. They’re usually only for one day and for getting drunk. Very trashy.

I once fell down the stairs and broke my wrist and cut my chin on a cruise to E-fucking-tonia. I was so drunk I could barely feel any pain when they sew my chin.

Where’s E-tonia?

 

[Cerro de Casa]

I think he means Esthonia (is that even a country)
The re-up


If you know, you know.

 

[wildchild]

Esthonia? Can they even afford to host the contest next year?

 

[GNL]

I’ve been watching a lot of cruising videos

 

[Cerro de Casa]

 

[Christian]

What a film

Al is SO CONVINCING as a LEATHER QUEEN

 

[wildchild]

I’ve been to many a cruise to Stockholm and Tallinn — it’s very popular here. Like RaspberrySwirl mentioned, people go there to get shit-faced (ping @Martha Skidd ) and to buy snus and cheap liquor and to cheat on their husbands. Also both Tallinn and Stockholm are great cities for a visit.

 

[Cerro de Casa]

Is snus the same as snuff? We used to call it that bad in the day

 

[wildchild]

Good well be. I Googled snuff and it looks very similar at least. Snus is usually placed under the top lip and not chewn.

 

[Nancy]

A snus goes around your neck, doesn’t it?

 

[Apoca]

But Helsinki - Tallinn really is just a 2h ferry ride where you get HAMMERED, not a cruise, surely.

Oh and it's a no for me, too. Confined on sea with 800 other people? That's basically a supersized HUIS CLOS. No thanks.

 

[Alex]

But Helsinki - Tallinn really is just a 2h ferry ride where you get HAMMERED, not a cruise, surely.

Oh and it's a no for me, too. Confined on sea with 800 other people? That's basically a supersized HUIS CLOS. No thanks.

It’s a BOOZE CRUISE

 

[RJN]

Oh I guess I’ve been on a cruise if that counts. I did a booze cruise from Vermont to Canada

 

[RJN]

And I remembered that my aunt got married on a cruise, but we disembarked the next morning before the cruise took off

 

[Beverley]

The Helsinki to Tallinn ferry is fine. But the Helsinki to Stockholm ferry was SOMETHING! I remember seeing a very pretty girl in a lace dress and trousers and high heels parading in the club. By midnight the heels were no more, and neither were the trousers, and she was running down the ferry giggling, as three boys followed behind.

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

The Stockholm-Helsinki or even better the Stockholm-Åland which is only 24h and hence both cheaper and trashier because you don’t even need to leave the cruise is perfect for Moopy. You get to be drunk and see someone like Shirley Clamp perform on stage.

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Oh god I got UTTERLY OBSESSED with the sinkhole that is CRUISE YOUTUBERS, including these AWFUL MISERABLE GAYS who just moan about absolutely everything



Unfortunately their best video where they just MOANED about literally everything relating to a certain cruise line has been deleted

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Although personally cruising itself has ZERO APPEAL to me.
I've done the cruise from Stockholm to various parts of Finland several times, and whilst initially fun it all becomes rather restrictive, drunken and BORING!

Although once I woke up with some hot Swedish guys morning glory literally IN MY FACE under his knickers once he'd stood up in the cabin, and for years since I've wondered if he was hankering for a blowie.

 

[Soldi]

Although personally cruising itself has ZERO APPEAL to me.
I've done the cruise from Stockholm to various parts of Finland several times, and whilst initially fun it all becomes rather restrictive, drunken and BORING!

Although once I woke up with some hot Swedish guys morning glory literally IN MY FACE under his knickers once he'd stood up in the cabin, and for years since I've wondered if he was hankering for a blowie.

@RaspberrySwirl is such a slag

 

[Saltwater]

Oh god I got UTTERLY OBSESSED with the sinkhole that is CRUISE YOUTUBERS, including these AWFUL MISERABLE GAYS who just moan about absolutely everything



Unfortunately their best video where they just MOANED about literally everything relating to a certain cruise line has been deleted

Number 5, the cruise show-offs sound very similar to casino culture.

 

[COB]

Oh god I got UTTERLY OBSESSED with the sinkhole that is CRUISE YOUTUBERS, including these AWFUL MISERABLE GAYS who just moan about absolutely everything



Unfortunately their best video where they just MOANED about literally everything relating to a certain cruise line has been deleted

This is such TRASH A friend of mine was obsessed with a similarly annoying gay couple who reviewed theme parks, but I can't remember what they're called now.

 

[octophone]

What about those 80s ones where you get TONY HADLEY and ONE OF BANANARAMA performing in the LONGE at night

If they did a 90s dance one I'd be THERE faster than you can say CALL HIM MR RAIDER.

Oh, we had absolutely tons of chargeback requests for those when the companies went bust due to Covid. Some of the bills were pure Moopy. Gina G! The other 2 from East 17! Marc Almond did quite a few, so did Carol Decker and, yes the inevitable Tony Hadley.

 

[COB]

The other 2 from East 17!

What a TOP DRAWER booking I'm guessing this was part of a bill that included other acts, but it's funnier to imagine it wasn't.

 

[lolly]

A cruise isn't top of my own holiday list if I'm paying, but I wouldn't say no to a free one.

 

[lolly]

The only one I'd consider are the ones that go through the fjords. Otherwise, those that just hop between different cities/islands just seem like the worst way to experience those places.

I don't really see it as any different to interrailing when I was 18. And that was one of the best experiences of my life.