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My top 32 favourite Real Housewives of ALL TIME: room for MORE?
- Thread starter Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA
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I'm thinking Danielle Staub, Gina Liano, Lisa Vanderpump, Kenya Moore, Theresa, Phaedra Parks, Bethenny Frankel
Maybe Kim Richards?
I do hope you’re not COUNTING OUT the COUNTESS?!?
Will
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I've been completely over Sonja so many times in recent seasons, but she's just so charming that when she's in one of her good moments, she really does reel you back in effortlessly.
Sad is the word that's come up the most over the last page or so, and it truly is the most appropriate when it comes to Sonja
She can't have a repeat of last season, that's for sure. There were numerous scenes last season where I just straight up didn't want her there - I wanted her to go back home or go back upstairs and just go to bed, leaving the others to it. But then I don't want a repeat of two or three seasons ago where she was sober for most of it (after yet another period in rehab, no doubt). She was a sad character there, too - seeming a bit lost in the action, unable to fully take part, yet conscious that she needs to bring something to the table in order to get that cheque again next year.
Classic Sonja was back when she was able to find a middle ground with her drinking (which she seems no longer able to do). Most of her best moments have been in seasons four to perhaps nine, largely when she's buddied up with Ramona on a cast trip. That's Sonja at her best. At her most beloved.
Though special mention has to go to probably my favourite Sonja storyline. In season 6 or 7 when Heather literally took on helping Sonja with her toaster oven as a full-time job, designed and provided a business and marketing plan for her, and pulled in numerous contacts of hers to make it happen. Only for Sonja to balls the whole thing up each step of the way, and pay Heather no gratitude or respect, or even pleasantries of any sort (never mind any kind of financial remuneration)
Sad is the word that's come up the most over the last page or so, and it truly is the most appropriate when it comes to Sonja
She can't have a repeat of last season, that's for sure. There were numerous scenes last season where I just straight up didn't want her there - I wanted her to go back home or go back upstairs and just go to bed, leaving the others to it. But then I don't want a repeat of two or three seasons ago where she was sober for most of it (after yet another period in rehab, no doubt). She was a sad character there, too - seeming a bit lost in the action, unable to fully take part, yet conscious that she needs to bring something to the table in order to get that cheque again next year.
Classic Sonja was back when she was able to find a middle ground with her drinking (which she seems no longer able to do). Most of her best moments have been in seasons four to perhaps nine, largely when she's buddied up with Ramona on a cast trip. That's Sonja at her best. At her most beloved.
Though special mention has to go to probably my favourite Sonja storyline. In season 6 or 7 when Heather literally took on helping Sonja with her toaster oven as a full-time job, designed and provided a business and marketing plan for her, and pulled in numerous contacts of hers to make it happen. Only for Sonja to balls the whole thing up each step of the way, and pay Heather no gratitude or respect, or even pleasantries of any sort (never mind any kind of financial remuneration)
Tbh, apart from Melbourne, I've really only watched episodes here and there from different franchises. Enough to know some of the stories, but not enough to see the ladies in full action. So all suggestions welcome.
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I forget to mention SHEEREE's friend in the Nene write up One of the few people to actually rattle Nene
WHY was she not given a peach, for one season as a TRIAL at least! She owned all of the few scenes she was in.
I didn't really highlight what is probably my favourite Nene moment either (from 2.29) :
"Have a good night
We wish you best with the song, we're ALL going to buy it
Thank YOU!
"
One of the few people to actually rattle NeneWHY was she not given a peach, for one season as a TRIAL at least! She owned all of the few scenes she was in.
I didn't really highlight what is probably my favourite Nene moment either (from 2.29)
:"Have a good night
We wish you best with the song
, we're ALL going to buy it Thank YOU!
"
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Cerro de Casa
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One of the all time best
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And so it's back to Phoenix's FAVE REGION for this BRASSY BLONDE that falls JUST SHORT of the top 10
11: Gamble Breaux-Wolf - Real Housewives of Melbourne
Is Gamble the most SELF AWARE Housewife of all time? I certainly think she's UP THERE!
Out of ALL Housewives OF ALL, I can't think of ANY that understands their job as clearly as Gamble.
Gamble KNOWS Housewives is a load of camp old toot, Gamble KNOWS to shit-stir and make mountains out of molehills is the ONLY WAY to make great TV, and Gamble is FULLY prepared to say whatever is needed, and switch alliances at the DROP of a hat, to make good TV
Gamble is basically a TV producers gift - so much so she was ACTIVELY involved in the casting for the Real Housewives of Sydney as a SENIOR ADVISOR - and long-term readers of this thread KNOW how THAT turned out!
Gamble joined at the start of season 2 in Melbourne, and was INITIALLY pitched as a superfan/minion of Gina
but with a DARK, SALACIOUS, MYSTERIOUS (and potential SEX WORKER*) past.
The Janet (and Chyka) drama around Gamble's past DOMINATED most of season 2, in a way that probably SHOULD have been tiring, but due to Gamble's natural SHIT-STIRRING urges and Janet's ludicrous persona it didn't quite tire you out in the way it should.
Indeed it basically all got put to bed, before Gamble's RIDICULOUS HARRIDAN sister TEMPEST decided to BUT IN with her iconic "OH CRAP!" to Janet, and blew it all up ALL OVER AGAIN!
Tempest of course made a FURTHER APPEARANCE in season 2 with her very own literal EXTREME MAKE OVER surgery reveal at Gamble's hen night / Really a scene of Housewives utter ridiculousness.
Fellow S2 NEW HIRE Pettifleur seem to have some sort of unspoken RIVALRY between her and Gamble, that simmers throughout season 2 and 3. It mainly seems to be based upon nothing more than them both being cast on the show at the same time
Gamble calling out Pettifleur's (SELF PUBLISHED) Switch The Bitch book with the immortal and utterly HEARTLESS guttural cry of "WHO IS THE PUBLISHAAAAAAA" when asked "any questions?" at Pettifleur's own BOOK LAUNCH remains both savage and hilarious.
Season 3 saw Gamble get married to her - actually quite lovely - husband Dr Wolf. Sadly it wasn't ALL plain sailing with resident princess PETTIFLEUR once again putting a spanner in the works at the wedding invite party.
Gamble is responsible for possibly one of the FUNNIEST Housewives comebacks of all time when Pettifleur refused her invitation:
Later former BFF Gina acts as her wedding cerement, only to COMPLETELY DITCH Gamble for somewhat unclear reasons post, leaving Gamble to forge a VERY short lived alliance with Lydia, and then later move towards former ENEMY Janet's camp.
The breakdown of the relationship with Gina is so weird - one minute she's blessing their union, the next minute they aren't even speaking to each other
Season 4 saw Gamble obviously COMPLETELY OUT OF TOUCH with all other Housewives, with Gamble living CONSIDERABLY DOWN THE COAST out of Melbourne, but was drafted BACK INTO THE FRAY for drama purposes.
Season 4 is a bit of an odd one for Gamble. She settles into Janet's group for EASINESS sake, but most of her schtick for the season is pulling stunts against Venus and Gina, and CHIPPING HER TOOTH in the first episode
In many ways, she gives less of a shit than EVER and is completely determined to stir the pot however she wants - and no longer has the WASPY ANNOYANCE of Pettifleur lingering around her trying to score points
Pettifleur's (RUBBISH) replacement shit-in-the-lunchbox Venus is a PARTICULAR trigger for Gamble:
Gamble is just a grade A Housewife. She even admitted it herself ON CAMERA during season 2 during a fight with Janet's best friend and apparent Gamble NEMESIS Manuela.
Manuela: "What do you do for money"
Gamble: "REALITY TV YOU IDIOT"
The feud with Manuela wasn't explored ENOUGH in my opinion, and I'm surprised Manuela wasn't brought back for season 3 for FURTHER DRAGGINGS.
This Gamble read from the series 2 reunion is LEGENDARY, so much so it seemed to take SEVERAL YEARS until most people understood it:
You can also read an interview with Manuela here where she claims she is TOO BUSY to be a Housewife, despite her OBVIOUS THIRST to be one
https://observer.com/2014/10/melbourne-housewife-has-real-psychic-powers-insider-alleges/
Gamble gives amazing, self-deprecating talking head and is generally a bit of a JOY of a Housewife. Never quite going TOO FAR, but messy enough to give you EVERYTHING you need (I can't find that many GAMBLE GIFs online, so the below is a bit of a placeholder )
Finally, Gamble has an ADORABLE relationship with her gay stepson Luke, who really does seem to love her back - some of the scenes at her wedding are honestly somewhat emotional. Also: who wouldn’t want GAMBLE as their evil stepmum
She's ALSO an occasional popstar! Most of her stuff is TOTAL GUFF, but Classy is SOMETHING ELSE, with an amazing occasional nipple-flashing video and a chorus melody that in different hands could be genuinely QUITE SOMETHING
Enjoy her best bits here, they are a RIDE
and a CLOSER LOOK at Gamble VS Pettifleur (AKA the divine fight for screen time )
and one of her BEST BITS EVER that didn't even occur on the SHOW!
Gamble WILL OF COURSE be back for season 5 of Melbourne, with or WITHOUT any friends in the cast. And long may she do what she's best at: STIR SHIT! NEXT!
*Sex work is of course REAL WORK, and no judgement AT ALL here from me
11: Gamble Breaux-Wolf - Real Housewives of Melbourne
Is Gamble the most SELF AWARE Housewife of all time? I certainly think she's UP THERE!
Out of ALL Housewives OF ALL, I can't think of ANY that understands their job as clearly as Gamble.
Gamble KNOWS Housewives is a load of camp old toot, Gamble KNOWS to shit-stir and make mountains out of molehills is the ONLY WAY to make great TV, and Gamble is FULLY prepared to say whatever is needed, and switch alliances at the DROP of a hat, to make good TV
Gamble is basically a TV producers gift - so much so she was ACTIVELY involved in the casting for the Real Housewives of Sydney as a SENIOR ADVISOR - and long-term readers of this thread KNOW how THAT turned out!
Gamble joined at the start of season 2 in Melbourne, and was INITIALLY pitched as a superfan/minion of Gina
but with a DARK, SALACIOUS, MYSTERIOUS (and potential SEX WORKER*) past.
The Janet (and Chyka) drama around Gamble's past DOMINATED most of season 2, in a way that probably SHOULD have been tiring, but due to Gamble's natural SHIT-STIRRING urges and Janet's ludicrous persona it didn't quite tire you out in the way it should.
Indeed it basically all got put to bed, before Gamble's RIDICULOUS HARRIDAN sister TEMPEST decided to BUT IN with her iconic "OH CRAP!" to Janet, and blew it all up ALL OVER AGAIN!
Tempest of course made a FURTHER APPEARANCE in season 2 with her very own literal EXTREME MAKE OVER surgery reveal at Gamble's hen night
/ Really a scene of Housewives utter ridiculousness.Fellow S2 NEW HIRE Pettifleur seem to have some sort of unspoken RIVALRY between her and Gamble, that simmers throughout season 2 and 3. It mainly seems to be based upon nothing more than them both being cast on the show at the same time
Gamble calling out Pettifleur's (SELF PUBLISHED) Switch The Bitch book with the immortal and utterly HEARTLESS guttural cry of "WHO IS THE PUBLISHAAAAAAA" when asked "any questions?" at Pettifleur's own BOOK LAUNCH remains both savage and hilarious.
Season 3 saw Gamble get married to her - actually quite lovely - husband Dr Wolf. Sadly it wasn't ALL plain sailing with resident princess PETTIFLEUR once again putting a spanner in the works at the wedding invite party.
Gamble is responsible for possibly one of the FUNNIEST Housewives comebacks of all time when Pettifleur refused her invitation:
Later former BFF Gina acts as her wedding cerement, only to COMPLETELY DITCH Gamble for somewhat unclear reasons post, leaving Gamble to forge a VERY short lived alliance with Lydia, and then later move towards former ENEMY Janet's camp.
The breakdown of the relationship with Gina is so weird - one minute she's blessing their union, the next minute they aren't even speaking to each other
Season 4 saw Gamble obviously COMPLETELY OUT OF TOUCH with all other Housewives, with Gamble living CONSIDERABLY DOWN THE COAST out of Melbourne, but was drafted BACK INTO THE FRAY for drama purposes.
Season 4 is a bit of an odd one for Gamble. She settles into Janet's group for EASINESS sake, but most of her schtick for the season is pulling stunts against Venus and Gina, and CHIPPING HER TOOTH in the first episode
In many ways, she gives less of a shit than EVER and is completely determined to stir the pot however she wants - and no longer has the WASPY ANNOYANCE of Pettifleur lingering around her trying to score points
Pettifleur's (RUBBISH) replacement shit-in-the-lunchbox Venus is a PARTICULAR trigger for Gamble:
Gamble is just a grade A Housewife. She even admitted it herself ON CAMERA during season 2 during a fight with Janet's best friend and apparent Gamble NEMESIS Manuela.
Manuela: "What do you do for money"
Gamble: "REALITY TV YOU IDIOT"
The feud with Manuela wasn't explored ENOUGH in my opinion, and I'm surprised Manuela wasn't brought back for season 3 for FURTHER DRAGGINGS.
This Gamble read from the series 2 reunion is LEGENDARY, so much so it seemed to take SEVERAL YEARS until most people understood it:
You can also read an interview with Manuela here where she claims she is TOO BUSY to be a Housewife, despite her OBVIOUS THIRST to be one
https://observer.com/2014/10/melbourne-housewife-has-real-psychic-powers-insider-alleges/
Gamble gives amazing, self-deprecating talking head and is generally a bit of a JOY of a Housewife. Never quite going TOO FAR, but messy enough to give you EVERYTHING you need
(I can't find that many GAMBLE GIFs online, so the below is a bit of a placeholder )
Finally, Gamble has an ADORABLE relationship with her gay stepson Luke, who really does seem to love her back - some of the scenes at her wedding are honestly somewhat emotional. Also: who wouldn’t want GAMBLE as their evil stepmum
She's ALSO an occasional popstar! Most of her stuff is TOTAL GUFF, but Classy is SOMETHING ELSE, with an amazing occasional nipple-flashing video and a chorus melody that in different hands could be genuinely QUITE SOMETHING
Enjoy her best bits here, they are a RIDE
and a CLOSER LOOK at Gamble VS Pettifleur (AKA the divine fight for screen time
)and one of her BEST BITS EVER that didn't even occur on the SHOW!
Gamble WILL OF COURSE be back for season 5 of Melbourne, with or WITHOUT any friends in the cast. And long may she do what she's best at: STIR SHIT! NEXT!
*Sex work is of course REAL WORK, and no judgement AT ALL here from me
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Omg LOVE this write-up. Gamble was an instant favorite for me, just from her personality alone. But she's also so much fun to watch. And THANK FUCK you decided to mention MANUELA I am STILL praying for her to be cast, so we can finally get the Gina vs Manuela smackdown we fucking deserve
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Thanks babe! It was literally just TOSSED OUT fuelled by some Portugese duero
I'm GAGGED STILL Manela was not brought back for season 3!
She was such a GRADE A CUNT, and SURELY would have been a FAR MORE debaucherous casting choice than SUSIE SNOOZY!
I guess maybe Manuela was possibly TOO VOLATILE to take on full time, being properly NASTY as opposed to Gamble's camp and ditzy schtick
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ZenGiraffe
Who is SHE though?
For viewers at home, I just want to point out that this here is ENTIRELY INCORRECT
She's just so much FUN and just the sort of person I want to see on my television! I might have cried at her wedding AND a little bit when she invited Wolfpup into an empty theatre to sing that frankly rather IFFY song for their anniversary or whatever it was
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I LIVE for @Phoenix's HOT TAKES on absolutely everything Housewives, it's wonderful to have a noted CONTRARIAN in our midst
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She's just so much FUN and just the sort of person I want to see on my television! I might have cried at her wedding AND a little bit when she invited Wolfpup into an empty theatre to sing that frankly rather IFFY song for their anniversary or whatever it was
It's so tacky, but Gamble's speech at her wedding to Luke and WOLF DADDY really hit me, more the DAD's absolute acceptance of both a CAMP WIFE and GAY SON than anything Gamble said. What a man Wolfie is
To be clear, my own father is absolutely FUCKING AMAZING, but I'm aware so many other gays don't have that luxury. It was so nice to see it played out on TV and THE GAYNESS not even be HINTED AT or mentioned as being an issue <3
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Just you wait for my takedown of Gina
literal TENTERHOOKS!
But WHO KNOWS if Gina will be TOP 10?
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ACTUALLY!
I'm not going to post the next entry until I have at least two TOP TEN PREDICTIONS!
I can EXCLUSIVELY reveal the top 10 is pulled from FIVE FRANCHISES ONLY that aren't CONFIRMED EXITS: Sydney, Dallas, OC, Canada, Ireland (?), Johannesburg, Cheshire and Auckland
STEP UP QUEENS!
We dont want this thread to end up all
or maybe we do
I'm not going to post the next entry until I have at least two TOP TEN PREDICTIONS!
I can EXCLUSIVELY reveal the top 10 is pulled from FIVE FRANCHISES ONLY that aren't CONFIRMED EXITS: Sydney, Dallas, OC, Canada, Ireland (?), Johannesburg, Cheshire and Auckland
STEP UP QUEENS!
We dont want this thread to end up all
or maybe we do
ZenGiraffe
Who is SHE though?
Can we have a reminder of the countdown so far please?ACTUALLY!
I'm not going to post the next entry until I have at least two TOP TEN PREDICTIONS!
I can EXCLUSIVELY reveal the top 10 is pulled from FIVE FRANCHISES ONLY that aren't CONFIRMED EXITS: Sydney, Dallas, OC, Canada, Ireland (?), Johannesburg, Cheshire and Auckland
STEP UP QUEENS!
We dont want this thread to end up all
or maybe we do
ACTUALLY!
I'm not going to post the next entry until I have at least two TOP TEN PREDICTIONS!
I can EXCLUSIVELY reveal the top 10 is pulled from FIVE FRANCHISES ONLY that aren't CONFIRMED EXITS: Sydney, Dallas, OC, Canada, Ireland (?), Johannesburg, Cheshire and Auckland
STEP UP QUEENS!
We dont want this thread to end up all
or maybe we do
I'm going to say The Countess, Teresa Giudice and Lisa Vanderpump will be in there.