My top 32 favourite Real Housewives of ALL TIME: room for MORE? (4 Viewers)

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Suedey said:
Is this countdown ever going to finish? Come on @wurst - we are busy gals here. May I add here that before there was a DNF @wurst (or @Jark ) countdown for that matter, Suedey had some legendary Madonna top 50 and all time album top 100s that never completed. This reminds me maybe I should do this now that I have time on my hands.

If @wurst finishes this then I will start one.
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:D

Babe I'm down to number 7 of 32, it's gonna get finished DO NOT WORRY.
These write ups do take at least an hour minimum to do though (some much longer - Vicki Gunvalson took AGES!), and I have to be in the right mood.
I'll try and plop the next one out this week :D
 
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There was always something a bit off about the demise of the friendship as portrayed on the show. Carole often looked totally confused as to why Bethenny was gunning so hard for her. The scenario above makes a lot more sense than what we were shown.

LOL at Bethenny getting furious at being denied access to Carole's friends after she BERATED the Countess for the same thing when Luann wanted to be at the Hampshires the time the BH ladies visited.
 
I really do LOATHE Pettifleur at the minute, who seems desperate to prove she’s fabulous, when it’s not something you can ACHIEVE, you either ARE or you AREN’T, and her wafer-thin sassy personality that she’s constantly at pains to present seems so forced.
 
I need to get back on the Melbourne train but I'm in the middle of my marathon of re-watching every single episode of RHONY (!). About to start S8. Once that's over, then I'll be back to Melbourne and then maybe a bit of OC and BH. Oh and Atlanta. Then maybe rewatch all of POTOMAC. Ugh.

Which reminds me - I feel I can't mix and match the Housewives if that makes sense. I commit to one series at a time. I think most of the rest mix and match though no?
 
wurst said:
I HIGHLY support this post :D

DO let us know any thoughts you may have on that cast of utter lunatics :D
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By and large I agree with your thoughts.

Christina - what a woman :disco: I love how she is about 25 years younger than all the others, and is just a good time girl. However, she is actually also rather intelligent and as you said, an unexpected voice of reason throughout. The Mia story line is just fantastically batshit as well!

Reiko - What a lovely woman. She is the standard 'sensible' one and not exactly screen gold, but it's nice to have that cornerstone there to show a bit of normality.

Jody - what an absolute monster! She's like Andrea with NEEDING HER APOLOGY and she really is an absolute thundercunt! Issuing the papers on Mary - like how utterly shameless over a fucking comment! However, she is highly entertaining and a total villian.

Ronnie - I've come back around to Ronnie. At the start I wasn't fussed as I thought the whole fight with Mary was a bit of a copout from her. Along the lines of 'yes, if I want a drink I'll ask for one and you CANT say a THING Mary. However, if you offer me one, you're an enabler :eyes: '. There wasn't alot of responsibility being taken by her for her actions. However, she is now back to being much more fabulous later in the season.

Mary - I'm sorry babe, I disagree. Maybe she has some victim tendencies, but I genuinely think she is pretty lovely and the attacks on her have been pretty extreme. Getting served the court papers for one comment (that Christina actually said?) is ridiculous; the whole 'you said we weren't Jewish' fiasco which I think was actually Ronnie (or certainly was towards the end) and poking attack; Ronnie blaming her for her own drinking when Ronnie showed up absolutely twatted to Mary's and demanded wine etc - she has been a bit of a punching bag and I still think has dealt with it with an air of class that some of the others do not have. I'm sure she's not completely innocent but I don't think she is really much at fault.
 
I know Chyka doesn’t bring the drama but she really does have it all, the successful business, the fuckable husband and the nicest house.
 
Oh yeah Chyka is the essential STRAIGHT MAN, and it helps that she’s very likeable and down to earth even though I presume she’s the richest one?
 
My NAME is Pettifleur. Please call me PETTIFLEUR :disco:

06: Pettifleur Berenger - Real Housewives of Melbourne

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"I'm in the best shape of my life, WHO BEGS TO DIFFAH?" :disco:

Firstly: No-one appointed any of you GOD to tell me how I should live my life :eyes:

One of my absolute favourite sub-genres of Housewife casting is one the Oceania region seems to EXCEL at: introducing (INSERTING) a wife into the group with little or NO connection to any of the other women with the sole aim of causing absolute on-screen CHAOS.
We've seen it earlier in this countdown with Aukland's Angela Stone and Sydney's Athena X, Esther Dee in Cheshire is another one - some even work out LONG TERM: Atlanta's Kenya Moore arguably fell into this category before cultivating a VERY DEFINED niche in the franchise all of her own making.

Pettifleur however is my absolute queen of the CHAOS HOUSEWIVES, and for somebody that only managed two seasons on the show she's an absolute bonefide Housewives ICON.

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I'm sure most people's first reaction to Pettifleur is absolute DISGUST or HORROR :D I have vague recollections of Melbourne airing AT THE TIME many years ago, and the online reaction to Pettifleur was tepid to say the least :D
However the fun of Pettifleur comes from repeat viewings. What is initial frustration and general WTF-ness quickly disintegrates into comedy and borderline affection for Pettifleur. Like the best of Housewives Pettifleur is an absolute scream to watch in action - she just doesn't realise it herself :D

I think initially introduced to the group by JANET of all people (:D) with the most tenuous and flimsy reasons of how she even knew Pettifleur, Janet of course notably coined the phrase "WHO THE FUCK IS PETTFLEUR" not long after she made the introduction :D

Pettifleur wasted no time in STACKING UP the iconic moments from the off. I think her very first solo scene is of her "buying" a Bentley and spending most of the time talking about how she wants to put a mirror under her seat to look at her own newly bald vagina :D

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Pettifleur is an absolute total BANG for your BUCK, all killer, no filler Housewife.
I can't think of a single scene she filmed without some sort of iconic line or moment.
She chews every single scene she's part of, and frequently makes absolutely EVERY SINGLE scenario about herself whether it's relevant or NOT :D

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I've seen people have GENUINE in-depth discussions online as to whether PF could possibly have BPD or some sort of psychological condition - I'm not a psychologist so I'm NOT going to do that here but she's certainly the most pampered, self-centered and narcissistic Housewife in the ENTIRE FRANCHISE UNIVERSE.
Out of all of these awful women across the ENTIRE WORLD, not a single other one even comes close to how self-obsessed Pettifleur is :D



Does Pettifleur even HAVE relationships with the other women in the cast? They TOLERATE her in the loosest of terms at the very best of times.

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Her main "alliance" on the show is with fellow Melbourne icon Lydia, who she tries to team up with in earnest during season 3 but really DOES NOT end up well :D
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The Lydia/Pettifleur scene in episode 1 of season 3 is one of my all-time faves, it's just PACKED with ridiculous moments. The pair have clearly decided off-screen (aided by production I'm sure) to be "friends" during that season and arrive in a bar like two people that have NEVER SET EYES UPON EACH OTHER before in their lives :D Lydia appears to have no clue who Pettifleur is, or what she's been up to, and PF has come armed with a bunch of CLEARLY pre-scripted and mainly non-sensical lines that she blurts out to Lydia's utter confusion. It's a fabulous mess, and I really could go on about it FURTHER.

My two favourite exchanges from this scene are of course: "Gamble? BITCH!" and Pettifleur's "revelation" that Gamble met her husband on sugardaddy.com - describing Gamble as a "black widow, because she mates and kills" to Lydia looking BAFFLED :D
This leads to an INCREDIBLE Gamble vs Pettfleur showdown at the end of the episode
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Indeed Pettifleur's "rivalry" with Gamble seems to be based upon nothing more than both women being cast on the show at the same time at the start of season 2, and is the cause of MANY memorable moments during Pettifleur's time on the show that I delved into in Gamble's write up - mainly the guttural "WHO IS THE PUBLISHAAAAAAA?" and "I've thought about it: GET FUCKED!" :D

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I also want to shout out Pettifleur's long-suffering SISTER here, who is dragged onto the show for a couple of cameos, and appears at all times to absolutely DESPISE HER. Clearly used to Pettifleur's indulged behaviour, her eyes glaze over as they appear to be living in two entirely different universes to each other, whilst sitting in the same room.
Pettifleur's opening gambit of "How are you, enjoying going for all your nice coffees" (or whatever she says) during their season 3 PARK BENCH MEET kills me every time.

I have to quickly mention Pettifleur's relationship with Gina here. Whilst they fight QUITE A LOT on the show, Gina does eventually appear to have a semi-soft spot for PF, mainly because I think she can see her COMEDY APPEAL. Often Gina's shade towards Pettifleur is served up in the form of a SHIT SANDWICH - slinging a complement in between the jibes to help soften the blow a little.

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Gina also OF COURSE calls Pettifleur out on her narcissistic spiralling and ranting during the LEGENDARY "STOP THE FUCK" fight in Dubai which is endlessly quotable. If you haven't seen it yet, what have you been DOING with your life?

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Now is probably a good time to mention that how some of the women (mainly Gina and Janet) speak to and about Pettifleur is often tinged with racial insensitivity.
I believe the women at the time of filming were uneducated and somewhat ignorant to casual racism and micro-aggressions (and I think it speaks to some elements of Australian culture too), but it wasn't ok at the time, and I really hope if the show was filmed today they'd be aware of that and change their behaviour.
Pettifleur didn't always HELP herself however when stating she was Portugese/Dutch instead of saying she was born in Sri Lanka :D (although lets be honest, she owes an explanation to nobody anyway).

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Pettifleur's major season 2 plotline is OF COURSE Switch The Bitch, her self-help book that brings two truly legendary scenes to the show. One where she politely fires her co-author for rather UNDETERMINED reasons, who then goes on to describe Pettifleur as "soulless" TO HER FACE, and the other being the legendary BOOK LAUNCH that's been mentioned quite a lot already.

I actually OWN Switch The Bitch :D (it was a present), and it really IS a nonsensical scribbling of a book :D It's edited by her SON, every page says the word BITCH about 25 times, and chapters run into their own sub-chapters all about different strands and types of bitches. It's quite amusing but also head-frustrating IRRITATING to try and read (somewhat like the author herself?).

Underrated Pettifleur scene? The one in season 3 where she appears to be buying a 100,000 dollar piano to try and tempt her son to move back home with her, only for him to tell her he's moving in with his girlfriend whilst Pettifleur writes a HUGE CHEQUE and silently weeps :D It's so sad camp and ridiculous.
See also: Pettfileur's 50th birthday party excruciating dance scene :D



I could dissect that entire party (lead up AND event) but I don't have the room so please feel free to do so below.

Pettifleur is also one of Housewives' greatest CATCHPHRASE QUEENS, and I've mentioned MANY of my faves already, but this video puts them into motion and is honestly PURE COMEDY from start to finish:



Do not EVER accuse Pettifleur of being DRUNK :shock:



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and have a couple more reunion fights because WHY NOT!





FINALLY, I just want to mention Pettifleur's incredible FASHION MOMENTS.
In season 3 there are some scenes where she looks absolutely shit-the-bed-amazing (the S3 E1 Gamble fight in the sugardaddy.com gif above springs to mind), however THIS iconic number is probably her most warmly remembered :disco:
"I'm about understated sophistication" :disco:



Anyway, you're all FART and NO SHIT! :D NEXT!
 
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Oh and I forgot to add this bit in to the write up:

Why Pettifleur LEFT the show I don't actually know. I don't believe she was fired as she was SO MUCH FUN to watch, and they essentially REPLACED her and Chyka with poundshop versions in season 4 (Venus and Sally respectively). Unless she was a nightmare to deal with on set (BELIEVABLE) she may have left the show due to the messy breakdown in her relationship, which resulted in accusations of Pettifleur SQUATTING in her Melbourne penthouse apartment:
https://expressdigest.com/rhom-star-pettifleur-berenger-is-facing-eviction-from-ex-partner-frank-palazzos-apartment/#:~:text=And%20amid%20the%20bitter%20split,with%20squatters%20and%20unwanted%20tenants

However, on Instagram she still appears to be living there :D So she's either back with her ex, or still squatting :D



She's currently starring in I'm A Celebrity Australia RIGHT NOW!
Hoping for both a YouTube cutdown of whatever meltdowns she has THERE, and a glittering return in the still-to-be-filmed Melbourne season 5 :disco:
 
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Omg this writeup :D I fucking love this bitch. Mainly because it dawned on me last year that I think I'm the Pettifleur of Moopy lol.

I know SOOO many Middle Eastern people who lie about their nationality/ethnicity/[insert identity here]. My Irani friend STILL tried to peddle the FALSEHOOD that he's "half Russian half French and a bit of Brazilian" LOOOL. It's so cringey.

But yeah, Australian culture can be truly awful. The accent mockery was really mean and xenophobic.
 
What a fabulous writeup! Pettifleur is one of the most despicable characters on TV, but you end up not resisting her. She was absolutely essential to season 3 and the Dubai trip. The way she winds everyone else up is too hilarious.
 
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