Eurovision Rewatch: Kyiv 2005 (19/09 20.00 BST)

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

And yes, Norway were my favourite by several kilometres.

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

Oop, timed that right. You don't get lay without rimi rimi.

 

[Laß diemlaw Sonne in dein Herz]

I'm sure that if Wogan weren't deservedly dead he would be going on about whiffs of the souk right now.

 

[Alex]

Running a little late. I remember really liking the Javine song at the time but the vocals are all over the place ouch

 

[lolly smitten-downes]

Arse. I'd hoped we'd get through a contest without a whiff of the souk being mentioned.

 

[Suomi]

It took many years but I now love Rimi Rimming Lay

 

[lolly smitten-downes]

85 Hungary
40 UK
65 Malta
95 Romania
30 Norway
60 Turkey

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

Soz huns I’m a bit quiet trying to book a COVID TEST

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

Sunstroke Project were still so very, very far away at this point.

 

[LoooooOOOOOooooOOOooocille]

Less of this fun for straights nonsense.

 

[LoooooOOOOOooooOOOooocille]

Although apart from sad old Chiara it’s a pleasingly up tempo year.

 

[Baby LaZenne]

Soz huns I’m a bit quiet trying to book a COVID TEST

Enjoy your drive to John o' groats!

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

It’s no Dragoesta Din Tei is it?

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

Soz huns I’m a bit quiet trying to book a COVID TEST

Have you been to Tisch and Iguana's Covid party as well?

Honestly, was I the only one not invited? It's like their bloody wedding all over again.

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

Enjoy your drive to John o' groats!

Slots available tomorrow at a centre 1 mile away

 

[Laß diemlaw Sonne in dein Herz]

Less of this fun for straights nonsense.

Just because there's that fine piece of ass in the rocking chair doesn't mean that this is for the straights.

 

[EuroTischion]

I think My Lucky Day is my favourite eurovision song of all time.

This is not.

 

[lolly smitten-downes]

85 Hungary
40 UK
65 Malta
95 Romania
30 Norway
60 Turkey
45 Moldova

 

[EuroTischion]

Slots available tomorrow at a centre 1 mile away

 

[lolly smitten-downes]

Hotter than Javine

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

Less of this fun for straights nonsense.

We're straight, Lucille, not DEAF.

Contradicted myself slightly by quoting Drop Dead Gorgeous, but still.

 

[Laß diemlaw Sonne in dein Herz]

Slots available tomorrow at a centre 1 mile away

Are you sure you haven't accidentally logged onto Lucille's Grindr?

 

[win_the_game]

Moldova: the land modern hairdressing forgot.

 

[LoooooOOOOOooooOOOooocille]

Lovely cosmopolitan shots of Kyiv there.

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

I think My Lucky Day is my favourite eurovision song of all time.

This is not.

It's definitely the happiest Eurovision performance of all time. I'm just saying, if someone had thought to show it to Idi Amin then Uganda would have been much better off.

 

[Baby LaZenne]

This is the worst violin miming I've ever seen...

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

I recognise this to be an attractive woman, but for some reason there's a whiff of the Vordermans about her.

 

[Laß diemlaw Sonne in dein Herz]

It's definitely the happiest Eurovision performance of all time. I'm just saying, if someone had thought to show it to Idi Amin then Uganda would have been much better off.

And if it had led to them keeping Priti Patel's parents, so would we.

 

[LoooooOOOOOooooOOOooocille]

You know I don’t think they’re really playing those violins.

 

[win_the_game]

Drummer boy is having fun

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

And if it had led to them keeping Priti Patel's parents, so would we.

She'd never have been born at all; when you're that happy you've no need to fuck the pain away.

 

[lolly smitten-downes]

85 Hungary
40 UK
65 Malta
95 Romania
30 Norway
60 Turkey
45 Moldova
70 Albania

 

[LoooooOOOOOooooOOOooocille]

The dress did make me think she’d just got a rather nasty period.

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

That one just sort of happened. Was it three minutes of a chorus about lippy dye, or have I already forgotten the verses?

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

Right now back to this

 

[lolly smitten-downes]

Well I know where Coco Montrese got the inspiration from now

 

[win_the_game]

I just can't with this QUEEN

 

[LoooooOOOOOooooOOOooocille]

His anus must’ve been in TATTERS by the end of the week.

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

Any correlation between the backing dancers' outfits and the Cypriot Bacofoil shortage of 2005 is purely coincidental.

 

[EuroTischion]

It's Lisa SCOTT LEE