Melodifestivalen 2024: Deltävling Three (Växjö)

[VoR]

After two underwhelming heats in a row, the pressure is on for Melfest to kick things up a notch. What have we got to look forward to in this semi?

1. Jacqline - Effortless
Dino Medanhodzic, Jacqline Mossberg Mounkassa, Jimmy Jansson, Moa Carlebecker, Thomas G:son

A new face for Melfest watchers, the awkwardly-spelt Jacqline has taken the familar route from Swedish Idol to a crack at Melfest. Results typically vary, but this is a confident spot for a relatively low-profile debutant, and there are some seriously heavy hitters on the songwriting credits.

2. Clara Klingenström - Aldrig mer
Bobby Ljunggren, Clara Klingenström, David Lindgren Zacharias

A breakout star of Melfest 2021 with the quietly lovely Behöver inte dig idag, Clara has enjoyed a few modest hits since then but is presumably banking on another go at the Melfest merry go-round to top up the coffers and set up her next album release. Second isn't exactly a plum position considering her success last time, but she's beaten the odds before...

3. Kim Cesarion - Take My Breath Away
Albin Johnsén, Christoffer Johansson, Kim Cesarion, Mattias Andréasson, William Segerdahl

Speaking of topping up the coffers, Kim Cesarion represents another familiar Melfest trope - somebody who had one massive hit about a decade ago. The Bruno Mars-esque Undressed was a smash across the Nordic nations in 2013, but subsequent releases were less well-received. He's presumably got the stage experience and name recognition to be a likely top four though.

4. Klaudy - För dig
William Schenberg, Åke Olofsson

Representing the obligatory 'sincere young man with guitar' demographic, Klaudy can be seen here doing something truly unspeakable to Linda Bengtzing's Alla Flickor. For that alone, he deserves to be thrown into the fire alongside Lancelot, Rejhan, Angelino and the myriad other variations on this theme we've seen in recent years.

5. Gunilla Persson - I Won't Shake (La La Gunilla)
Fredrik Andersson

OK now this may be something. Gunilla Persson gained notoriety on the reality TV show Svenska Hollywoodfruar where she became a breakout star for the usual blend of narcissism, alcoholism and sociopathy that women of this sort tend to exhibit. There is no indication that she has any kind of musical talent or charisma in the traditional sense, but the writer previously penned Bjorn Ranelid's Mirakel so there's form here for a fabulously bonkers trainwreck. Either way, it should be memorable.

6. Cazzi Opeia - Give My Heart a Break
Ellen Berg, Jimmy Jansson, Moa Carlebecker, Thomas G:son

Having enjoyed a Melfest hit in her own right with I Can't Get Enough in 2022 and co-penned Loreen's Tattoo in 2023, Cazzi Opeia is justly rewarded a pimp slot in this semi final. She clearly doesn't need the money, but she's a joyous presence with an excellent strike rate of writing hooks that really stick. I'll be amazed if it isn't my favourite of the season thus far.

Schedule
Tuesday: Song lyrics. Journalists' reviews starting at 10am CET.
Wednesday: First Rehearsals.
Thursday: 1 minute studio version at 7am CET
Friday: 30 sec of the performance at 7am CET and the general rehearsal poll.
Saturday: Melfest

 

[ButterTart]

I’m very conflicted. On the one hand, the housewife deserves to be shanked live on stage because she’s part of that franchise. On the other, if her songwriter also did Mirakel then it’s going to be 12455/10.

 

[ButterTart]

Also, if Dora Bryan has come back with something more You’re My Sunshine than I Can’t Get Enough, then I can make my peace with her.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

There is no indication that she has any kind of musical talent or charisma in the traditional sense

A PREREQUISITE FOR HOUSEWIFE BANGERS

 

[Kala]

From the rumours I have heard (and I stress RUMOURS) Jacqline has an OUTSTANDING song.

 

[Kratz]

Let's not forget Cazzi Opeia is the only songwriter to win both the Eurovision and American Song Contests.

A fact that I expect may hold true for some time...

 

[Lucille]

Can Australia just send GAMBLE please?!?

 

[Suomi]

After two underwhelming heats in a row

I swear that the narrative is now that unless the heats are like:

1. Charlotte Perrelli - Hero
2. Linda Bengtzing - La La Linda
3. Sanna Nielsen and Janet Jackson - All 4 Dig
4. Britney Spears - Toxic
5. Kylie Minogue - Padam Padam
6. ABBA - When All Is Said and Done

...that the heats are 'underwhelming'. It's like every year yet another ageing queen bumps their head and moans that there were some glory days of Melfest where it was just wall-to-wall bangers and marshmallow skies. Oh please take me back to the days of Gregor - Mi Amor music never sounded better

This season is only two weeks in and has already seen a schlager renaissance in the form of Elisa, a long-awaited funeral for Samir + Viktor, the reformation of Marie Serneholt, the first non-finalist Spotify #1 in Unga & Fria, and something quite clubby from Maria Sur. Some BALANCE in your journalism please.

 

[Velvet Skies]

I mean, crown her already.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

I mean, crown her already.

Stunning visuals. It screams EXPENSIVE.

 

[Penelope]

Screaming at 'something quite clubby from Maria Sur'. CANCEL ABBA IN HEAT FOUR

 

[Penelope]

Also omg at not one but TWO Cazzi Oppeianheimer tracks in this heat!

 

[Pingu]

VoR offhandedly referring to two underwhelming heats as underwhelming is a pretty understated and kind way of putting it from a fairly sympathetic commentator. Pick your battles.

 

[Penelope]

Tongues A-WAGGIN this morning over those HOT, SEXY, POWERFUL Jacqline reviews

 

[VoR]

Jacqline - Comparisons to Dua Lipa and Here Comes the Night by Agnes. A banger.
Clara Klingenström - Very nice, but not much of an evolution from her last one. More of the same.
Kim Cesarion - Funk-driven dance-pop, not a million miles away from Danny Saucedo's Dandi Dansa.
Klaudy - Generic sadboi acoustic filler.
Gunilla - A barn-dancing country romp with half-hearted vocals
Cazzi - Similar style to her last entry - catchy melody, strings, banging dance beat, but with a warmer and more emotive feel, lyrics about finding ways to cope in a difficult world.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

country

 

[Penelope]

View attachment 24389

Oh my god SHUT UP, AS IF YOU'RE GONNA BE WHINING IF SHE COMES OUT WITH A HOEDOWN BANGER

 

[ZenGiraffe]

Oh my god SHUT UP, AS IF YOU'RE GONNA BE WHINING IF SHE COMES OUT WITH A HOEDOWN BANGER

I STAND BY POSISITION UNTIL SNIPPETS ARE RELEASED

 

[ButterTart]

not a million miles away from Danny Saucedo's Dandi Dansa.

I’ve taken this as a threat and alerted the police.

 

[Suomi]

There’s a lot in the Swedish press today about how they want to introduce new voting groups in to expand the range of votes received via the app. The two most touted are a vote for pregnant women so that the 0-2 age group has representation, and a vote for those that have passed over - and this can include spirits raised via seances or through psychic mediums

 

[Penelope]

I believe 3-9s should have their voting power doubled

 

[ButterTart]

There’s a lot in the Swedish press today about how they want to introduce new voting groups in to expand the range of votes received via the app. The two most touted are a vote for pregnant women so that the 0-2 age group has representation, and a vote for those that have passed over - and this can include spirits raised via seances or through psychic mediums

Fair. Poltergeist activity in Sweden went up 800% in the wake of Horizon failing to qualify so they deserve to have the chance to save their faves.

 

[Suomi]

Not even a hired priest can persuade Shirley Clamp’s defiant daughter to vote for her mother’s 2025 entry

 

[Kala]

From the rumours I have heard (and I stress RUMOURS) Jacqline has an OUTSTANDING song.

Seems my crystal ball was correct!

I just hope that OUR JACQ isn’t another Kadiatou. But she seems to be able to sing live.

 

[Hak]

country

Well it's over

La la Gunilla is supposed to be this type of country romp:

 

[Hak]

(according to the trustworthy Ben Robertson)

 

[dUb]

edit:

 

[Hak]

I Won't Shake

 

[tommie]

Gunilla - A barn-dancing country romp with half-hearted vocals

Can't wait! La la la Gunilla!

 

[Hak]

Oh oh oh
Their words so thin
Oh oh
I’m gonna win

Judgments made
Without a clue
You don’t know me
And who are you

Talking shit
Behind closed doors
Spreading rumors
To even scores

La la la
La la Gunil-la
I won’t bend
No, I won’t break

La la la
La la Gunil-la
Make a storm
But I won’t shake

 

[Suomi]

Mildly obsessed with Gunilla’s instagram which if you visit you will attest to her being relatively spaced out and fixated on Bobby’s Hair Care as the best hair company in Europe

 

[Pingu]

I STAND BY POSISITION UNTIL SNIPPETS ARE RELEASED

I don't know if this changes anything, but it's 140 BPM.

 

[tommie]

Mildly obsessed with Gunilla’s instagram which if you visit you will attest to her being relatively spaced out and fixated on Bobby’s Hair Care as the best hair company in Europe

LMAO, he's the definition of a local (as in inner city Stockholm) celebrity. I doubt his haircare brand is that great, but I guess she's getting his products for free.

 

[ButterTart]

I'm sorry but no. A 30 song contest should have been a chance to bring in a more diverse selection of styles, possibly give the starving children more than one schlager song to chew on, yet here they are giving us an absolute filler round where the songs are all different shades of polite pop and there's not a hook between them.

Jacquieylynne - Doesn't sound competitive at all. It's good but nothing we've not heard a billion times.
Clara - Easily my favourite of the week. It doesn't have the urgency or the raw quality of her last one but I'm looking forward to it on the night.
Cesarion Section - If Maria Sur taught me anything last week, it's not to trust a snippet that sounds like it's building because fuck all will come of it.
Klaudy - Wicked and evil and he looks like a nonce. These sorts of entries should be banned.
Gunilla - Did anyone ask for Lady Colin Campbell doing a low-effort cover of Hope by Stefan? Anyone? It just sounds CHEAP and totally wastes the potential for riotous gay nonsense.
Dora Bryan - This sounds like it exists and will last for around three minutes. I would describe it as 'music that's playing' but I wouldn't like to specify a genre, which is apparently the thinking behind most of the songs in this heat.

 

[Sheena]

No doubt CERTAIN ELEMENTS will accuse me of being a BITTER OLD QUEEN, but fuck me, what a load of MIDDLING OLD TOSS from those clips.

 

[Sheena]

And sorry but La Gunilla is APPALLING. Not even comedy value from that clip. Just genuinely terrible.

 

[ButterTart]

No doubt CERTAIN ELEMENTS will accuse me of being a BITTER OLD QUEEN, but fuck me, what a load of MIDDLING OLD TOSS from those clips.

You’re right though, there’s nothing really of interest in that line up. The live performances could all be amazing of course, but it’s difficult to get excited about Saturday from those snippets.
Had Elisa been in this week she’d have been DTF without breaking a sweat.

 

[tommie]

La Gunilla is amazing! It's the most stunning thing I've heard since Heidi Klum revolutionized dance music! Get fucked Beyoncé, the new Queen of Country is here to stay!

 

[ZenGiraffe]

I don't know if this changes anything, but it's 140 BPM.

Having now heard the snippet, it being 140bpm seems to be it's only redeeming quality

 

[FetchFugly]

Jac was making all the right noises until that flop of a chorus came in. Oh well.