Nancy’s Christmas Tips

[Nancy]

I GENUINELY DO LIKE TO SPREAD CHRISTMAS CHEER BY SAYING “MERRY CHRISTMAS” TO RANDOM PEOPLE IN THE STREET OR SHOPPING CENTRES.

 

[Rita]

YOU CAN ALSO MAKE CHRISTMAS A LOT CHEAPER BY DELAYING IT BY TWO DAYS TO THE 27TH INSTEAD AND BUYING ALL THE REDUCED CHRISTMAS FOOD IN THE SUPERMARKETS ON BOXING DAY.

FOR ADDED REALISM, YOU CAN RECORD THE CHRISTMAS DAY TV INCLUDING THE NEWS AND WATCH IT ON THE 27TH TOO.

You wanted to know what use the Manson has now. I don’t think I have found a better post to use it.

 

[RJN]

I'm giving my mother an old pizza for Christmas, but I'm wrapping it in a Tiffany box for the opposite effect

 

[Rita]

I GENUINELY DO LIKE TO SPREAD CHRISTMAS CHEER BY SAYING “MERRY CHRISTMAS” TO RANDOM PEOPLE IN THE STREET OR SHOPPING CENTRES.

You are such a cutie.

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

Now it’s been deemed NON OFFENSIVE I’ve been greeting straight men in the street with ‘Merry Christmas FAGGOT’, and it’s been mostly very well received.

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

I GENUINELY DO LIKE TO SPREAD CHRISTMAS CHEER BY SAYING “MERRY CHRISTMAS” TO RANDOM PEOPLE IN THE STREET OR SHOPPING CENTRES.

That was you at the Arndale?

 

[lolly]

NANCY GOES CHRISTMAS CAROLING DOOR TO DOOR

FOR FREE

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

She’s a SHOUTER rather than a SINGER

 

[lolly]

She’s a SHOUTER rather than a SINGER

WELL IT WORKS FOR ANNIE LENNOX

 

[Nancy]

She’s a SHOUTER rather than a SINGER

IT’S CHRIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!

 

[Zu]

Nothing says I’M OFF THE DRUGS quite like a book in a pizza box and a flat decorated with OLD SOCKS filled with DIRT.

There’s been quite the selection to choose from, not least Nancy’s lovely tips in this very thread, but I do declare this to be my POST OF THE DAY

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

Who on earth has edited the TITLE

 

[Zu]

YOU CAN ALSO MAKE CHRISTMAS A LOT CHEAPER BY DELAYING IT BY TWO DAYS TO THE 27TH INSTEAD AND BUYING ALL THE REDUCED CHRISTMAS FOOD IN THE SUPERMARKETS ON BOXING DAY.

FOR ADDED REALISM, YOU CAN RECORD THE CHRISTMAS DAY TV INCLUDING THE NEWS AND WATCH IT ON THE 27TH TOO.

I’ve only just seen THIS TOP TIP

 

[Eddie]

That's genuinely not a terrible idea. You can spend Christmas Day off your nut instead.

 

[lolly]

If you delay it until December 28th, you can also turn away any family who turn up, as they will be breaking the law.

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

The very idea of rewatching the news two days later just to get CHEAP FOOD.

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

That's genuinely not a terrible idea. You can spend Christmas Day off your nut instead.

DRINK YOURSELF OUT THE CLOSET!

 

[Rita]

That's genuinely not a terrible idea. You can spend Christmas Day off your nut instead.

Are you a recreational drug user as well as queer? Today has been FULL of revelations.

 

[KNT]

I GENUINELY DO LIKE TO SPREAD CHRISTMAS CHEER BY SAYING “MERRY CHRISTMAS” TO RANDOM PEOPLE IN THE STREET OR SHOPPING CENTRES.

This reminds me of when I was a child and my family went for a day out in a CONSIDERABLY POSHER city than our own for a day out.

On the drive home my sister said she didn't like it there because people SMILED at one another and it made her uncomfortable

 

[Say Sheena-na-na]

This reminds me of when I was a child and my family went for a day out in a CONSIDERABLY POSHER city than our own for a day out.

On the drive home my sister said she didn't like it there because people SMILED at one another and it made her uncomfortable

This is me as I work three days a week in Wales right now and on my first day stopped off in Tesco and at least 5 random customers said Good Morning to me. The first couple, my knee jerk reaction that I ONLY JUST kept in was to reply “WHY?”.

 

[Say Sheena-na-na]

I did some eco brown paper and tape last year, and then used stamps to decorate it all.

FUCK THAT this year. FAR TOO MUCH WORK.

I do do this though. It’s no real effort. And I think the packages look nice.

 

[Nancy]

IF YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE WITH CHILDREN AND NO DOGS AND GET FRUSTRATED WITH THE CHILDREN DEVOURING THE EDIBLE TREE DECORATIONS, I HAVE A SOLUTION.

BAKE SOME DOG BISCUITS, PIPE SOME ICING ON THEM IN A FESTIVE STYLE AND THEN HANG ON THE TREE. THE KIDS WON’T TOUCH THEM AND ONCE CHRISTMAS IS OVER, YOU CAN DONATE THEM TO A FRIENDLY, LOCAL NEIGHBOURHOOD DOG.

 

[Zu]

I was hoping we’d get more festive tips and LO AND BEHOLD

 

[funky]

Nothing says I’M OFF THE DRUGS quite like a book in a pizza box and a flat decorated with OLD SOCKS filled with DIRT.

proper howling here

 

[lolly]

I was hoping we’d get more festive tips and LO AND BEHOLD

I'm just wondering what sort of BATSHIT CRAZY went on in the hour and a quarter before the edit.

 

[Zu]

proper howling here

Oh that @Lucille post is still amusing me NO END

 

[lolly]

I think @Nancy need to open her FESTIVE PROBLEMS POST BOX

 

[lolly]

@Nancy, get it on the lockdown schedule

 

[Zu]

NO QUESTION TOO RIDICULOUS AND NO ANSWER TOO ABSURD

 

[Nancy]

I'm just wondering what sort of BATSHIT CRAZY went on in the hour and a quarter before the edit.

I INITIALLY ADVISED PEOPLE TO BUY DOG BISCUITS, BUT FOR THE NEXT HOUR OR SO IT TROUBLED ME AS I REALISED THAT IT’S NOT POSSIBLE TO MAKE A HOLE IN AN ALREADY BAKED BISCUIT FOR WHICH TO THREAD IT TO HANG ON THE TREE.

THE ANSWER WAS STARING ME IN MY ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY FACE ALL THE TIME. IF YOU BAKE THE DOG BISCUITS YOURSELF, YOU CAN MAKE THEM WITH A HOLE IN THEM PLUS NOT HAVE THE ISSUE OF WASTE PACKAGING.

 

[Zu]

 

[lolly]

I INITIALLY ADVISED PEOPLE TO BUY DOG BISCUITS, BUT FOR THE NEXT HOUR OR SO IT TROUBLED ME AS I REALISED THAT IT’S NOT POSSIBLE TO MAKE A HOLE IN AN ALREADY BAKED BISCUIT FOR WHICH TO THREAD IT TO HANG ON THE TREE.

THE ANSWER WAS STARING ME IN MY ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY FACE ALL THE TIME. IF YOU BAKE THE DOG BISCUITS YOURSELF, YOU CAN MAKE THEM WITH A HOLE IN THEM PLUS NOT HAVE THE ISSUE OF WASTE PACKAGING.

EVEN BETTER THAN I HOPED

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

MOOPY GOLD NOW

 

[Soldi Elektronike]

Oh wait I’m a mod anyway

 

[lolly]

WRAP YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS USING FOOD PACKAGING TO SAVE ON WRAPPING PAPER AND DO YOUR BIT FOR THE ENVIRONMENT.

COME 'OME @Nancy

 

[funky]

Was thinking about @Nancy last week. Hope he's doing OK!

 

[RJN]

How would you even wash the inside of a microwaveable popcorn bag? It’s paper covered in butter

 

[Ig Komme]

It’s paper covered in butter

Mmmmmm

 

[RJN]

Actually that reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

THE WASTE MATERIAL FROM A LATER IN LIFE CIRCUMCISION CAN BE REPURPOSED INTO A FETCHING TREE DECORATION