Time a quick DIVERSION into one of the darkest, yet most compelling Housewife seasons of all. I can't really call out a single cast member for this countdown as it's very much an ENSEMBLE PIECE so we have a season-focus as a bonus write up...
BONUS: The Real Housewives of Vancouver season 1
(L-R Christina, Reiko, Jody, Mary, Ronnie)
Whew, so this countdown's ONLY entire season write up, and there is SO MUCH to unpack here.
(There aren't a huge amount of GIFs for Vancouver, so pls excuse a lack of visual elements.)
Vancouver actually has two seasons, but I'm going to focus on season 1 as that season ALONE has enough to discuss - and whilst season 2 is also fun, it's more the extended adventures (IN HELL) of three of the wives from season 1 with a few extra Housewives thrown in. Let's keep things SIMPLE eh.
Mix the give-a-shit attitudes of the Melbourne ladies, with a sprinkle of the insanity of Sydney, plus the DARKNESS of seasons 1&2 of Beverley Hills and you kind of arrive at Vancouver. A triumph of reality TV casting, but also a show that is equally camp-insanity and uncomfortable
how-did-this-make-it-to-tv moments.
I find season 1 of Vancouver quite David Lynch-esque at times, with moments that feel quite Twin Peaks. Vancouver being a city that isn't heard much about on the world stage adds to it's rather self-contained feel, contrasted with dominant themes of the murky underbelly of the rich, and quirky main (& supporting cast) members that DO FEEL like they could possibly have been Twin Peaks characters.
The cast are layered, and the storylines not as linear as presented. It was also shot SO LONG AGO now, it kind of feels like it could possibly BE a work of fiction these days.
It's also a show that has rather questionable EDITING at times, and is worth a couple of watches as the storylines you initially absorb on your first watch aren't necessarily what's GOING ON on-screen. I see parallels with S1 of Beverley Hills here, where Camille was painted as the TV villain - but was she
REALLY?
Let's look at the cast themselves, starting with the BIG GAY FAVOURITE:
Christina Kiesel
For THOSE IN THE KNOW, Christina Kiesel has become a bit of an niche Housewives internet icon - I mean THIS is literally the source of her income if you didn't bother to look at the gifs above properly:
She's straight out of a Jackie Collins novel, complete with a wandering British-something accent and a total GIVE A SHIT attitude. She's considerably late and/or hungover for almost every single filming opportunity, is wildly sex-positive, and generally brings her gay best friend and UBER-RICH surgery-enhanced older female friend along with her to most group events.
Coked-up Christina is a good time party girl, and makes no apologies for it. You do get the sense that she's using the opportunity of some quick TV fame to snag herself another RICH HUSBAND at points, but she's also a genuinely lovely person and often is forced to step in a sort-of voice of reason through the show.
I'm not really sure if reality tv was really for her, as it seems at several points she can't really BE ARSED with it all
and to the fans disappointment, Christina didn't bother to return for season 2 - albeit this was entirely on her own terms than via being fired.
Oh yeah, and a plot point in series 1 is when Christina claims to have slept with fellow cast-member Jody's daughter Mia
Reiko Mackenzie
Reiko is painted as the "sensible" one, and is probably closest to the BORING Housewife of the group.
But all is not QUITE what it seems.
The first time I watched Vancouver I had some sort of HOMOSEXUAL SENSING around Reiko. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, but the more I watched her the more I felt a sort of underlying sense of uncomfortable/awkward vibes in the way she was presenting her life on screen. Essentially I was thinking
(albeit probably quite non-pc to do so) to myself "I'M SURE SHE'S A LESBIAN", but couldn't really say
WHY. I just got those gaydar vibes you feel when you can sense one of your own in the midst.
Fast forward to post-show, Reiko divorces her barely-present husband, announces she's in a relationship with a woman, and has come out as being genderless
Reiko was also apparently FLAT BROKE whilst filming, with her husband gathering all their "wealth" through money laundering scams. If you watch the season through the lens of knowing who Reiko REALLY IS, she becomes much more interesting.
In general, I actually really like Reiko. She turns things up a notch in the second part of the season due to a feud with Jody, she's absolutely GORGEOUS, and she's much more of a Chyka/Robyn character than a Cindy Barshop.
There's also the time when she turned up to an event in a purple felt ROBIN HOOD trilby to the bemusement of the other women.
Ronnie Negus
Now onto the QUEEN BEE of Vancouver, the MVP of the season, and one of the most complicated women I've ever seen on a Housewives show - RONNIE.
On the surface, Ronnie has it all. She's absolutely MINTED - serious, serious wealth.
She owns three waterfront HUGE HOUSES in a row, she has her own SEA PLANE, she's stunning visually (an amalgamation of both Appleton sisters crossed with Patsy Kensit) and she literally LOOKS expensive at all times (taste is of course something else entirely
).
Yet Ronnie is an alcoholic. TO BE CLEAR: Ronnie has discussed and admitted this herself post-show, and has sought treatment and is now sober - so I'm not being some sort of armchair doctor here.
Unlike Kim Richards who was frequently an obvious mess on the show, Ronnie's alcohol problems are often subtler. There are scenes where she's an out-an-out SLOPPY DRUNK, but in the context of Housewives that's not all that unusual.
It's the OTHER SCENES where she's clearly a functioning alcoholic that are much more disturbing. It's a slightly unexpectedly-slurred word here and there, its a completely lack of light behind her eyes - it's a confessional where she looks immaculate everywhere but her red and puffy eyeballs with dark circles under them. If you've ever been around somebody who has had problems with alcohol, you will see the signs.
I'm kind of amazed somebody who was so obviously troubled was allowed to film the show, but as Ronnie acts as the anchor for the series I kind of imagine this was swept under the carpet to allow the show to continue. There are rumours Ronnie was on something MUCH HARDER than alcohol whilst filming, but as she hasn't admitted that I couldn't possibly speculate
Ronnie is also ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING, can cut you down with a GLACIAL STARE and clearly runs high in the Vancouver social scene as all the other cast members are on eggshells around her AT ALL TIMES.
She also has weird relationship with her long-suffering son, who could easily be mistaken for her boyfriend, and decides to launch her own WINE during the show (!) that she names REHAB. You really couldn't make it up.
Post-show Ronnie got divorced, and it came out that she was in a physically and mentally abusive relationship with her husband - this may go some way to explain her state of mind and substance issues apparent during filming, and probably suggests that she really wasn't in the RIGHT HEADSPACE to be strung up on TV.
Ronnie's alleged 'best friend'
is...
