Eurovision 2022: Semi Final TWO (20:00 BST)

[D5K]

It's quite a shit final, isn't it?

Well it was never going to be an amazing one from the possible ingredients.

 

[ZZ]

It's quite a shit final, isn't it?

As long as the UK wins, it'll be a final worth watching

 

[Samuel]

I wouldn’t be surprised if they lean on the last 30 seconds of the UK’s performance to finish with a bang before the voting.

 

[Saltwater]

I think we're going for a new record of "am sorry zero votes"

 

[D5K]

I wouldn’t be surprised if they lean on the last 30 seconds of the UK’s performance to finish with a bang before the voting.

I think that's very likely. What else works in that slot? Maybe Estonia?

 

[Lucille]

Estonia is a nice rousing closer.

 

[Lucille]

It was about 00:15 BST last year.

That was the Dutch though.

It’ll probably be scribbled on toilet paper in lipstick 10 minutes after the show starts on Saturday.

 

[D5K]

Actually let's put Konstrakta on last so the final shot of the competitive section is just a caption saying "Now what?"

 

[Lucille]

It doesn’t matter who closes, who’s going to be AWAKE by then ANYWAY!?

 

[Devil]

No Brooke, no point

 

[COB]

So gutted for Brooke

 

[Penelope]

Had a go at trying to turn that turgid second half into a workable order. Best compromise I think I can find is backloading bangers in the first half, having a proper slowie block before the second ad break, and trying to get as much going after the second ad break as possible.

01 Czech Republic: We Are Domi - Lights Off
02 Germany: Malik Harris - Rockstars
03 Switzerland: Marius Bear - Boys Do Cry
04 Finland: The Rasmus - Jezebel
05 Portugal: Maro - Saudade, saudade
06 Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra - Stefania
07 Norway: Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf A Banana
AD BREAK
08 Armenia: Rosa Linn - Snap
09 Italy: Mahmoud & Blanco - Brividi
10 Romania: WRS - Llamamé
11 Netherlands: S10 - De diepte
12 France: Alvan & Ahez - Fulenn
13 Spain: Chanel - SloMo
14 Greece: Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord - Die Together
15 Iceland: Systur - Med haekkandi sol
16 Australia: Sheldon Riley - Not The Same
AD BREAK
17 United Kingdom: Sam Ryder - Space Man
18 Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer
19 Azerbaijan: Nadir Rustamli - Fade To Black
20 Belgium: Jeremie Makiese - Miss You
21 Estonia: Stefan - Hope
22 Lithuania: Monika Liu - Sentimentai
23 Serbia: Konstrakta - In corpore sano
24 Poland: Ochman - River
25 Moldova: Zdob si Zdub & Advahov - Trenuletul

 

[win_the_game]

So whose grandmother is this?

 

[Sheena]

Both my Grandmas are dead and i need a new one, so...

 

[Saltwater]

Poor Achille Lauro, first Sanremo, now this.

 

[lolly]

So whose grandmother is this?

See seems to be Bristol based

And I think she's probably an essential follow

 

[Saltwater]

They are ready.

 

[Soldi]

Oh good! I’ve just got back from sampling some Italian meat!

 

[Soldi]

FUCK ME at the second half though!! What a BORE!

 

[OutSynk]

Oh good! I’ve just got back from sampling some Italian meat!

Too easy

 

[Iguana]

 

[Saltwater]

Jesus they're taking the piss.

 

[win_the_game]

 

[Iguana]

 

[win_the_game]

wrs in the death slot.

 

[Soldi]

Fuck me UK with the pimp slot

 

[Kratz]

So whose grandmother is this?

Can we invite her to join Moopy? What a queen!

 

[Kratz]

Watching back I remain agog at how bad the camera work was for Cornelia (and it is poor in general) - imagine how they would have struggled with Fyrfaldigt Hurra!

 

[ButterTart]

So whose grandmother is this?

Oh for FUCK'S SAKE Nana Carol, @dmlaw was in my bed because it was cold. And my hayfever was bad during both results shows, I wasn't crying.

 

[Lucille]

What a woman.

 

[VoR]

STATS

Finland qualify for the second time in a row. Their best run in the semi era remains 2006-2009 (Won, hosted, qualified, qualified)
Israel lose their streak after six consecutive qualifiers from 2015-2021. Their last NQ was butch queen Mei Finegold with Same Heart.
Serbia chalk up their fourth consecutive qualifier, their best run since entering the Contest in 2007.
Azerbaijan qualify for the third time in a row. Their 13/14 record of finals appearances (12 Qs + 1 hosting) makes them one of the safest bets in the Contest.
Georgia NQ for the 5th time in a row, extending their tie with Latvia as the longest losing streak for a current competitor. Last seen in the finals in 2016.
Malta miss out after two consecutive qualifiers. Their best run of the current semi era is three, from 2012-2014.
San Marino break their two year streak, which is the best they've ever achieved.
Australia return to the final after their first ever NQ in 2021. 6/7 qualifiers also puts them among the most consistent finalists.
Cyprus are down and out after six consecutive qualifiers, easily the best run they've ever achieved.
Ireland fail to qualify for the third time in a row. They have a poor qualification record in general (5/14 since 2008), but their worst streak remains 2014-2017.
North Macedonia NQ for the second time in a row. Their 2/14 qualification record is easily the worst, but they do have a recent success in 2019's Jury winner Tamara Todevska.
Estonia return to the finals after NQing last year. They've qualified 8/14 times since 2008.
Romania finally break their duck after three consecutive NQs. Before their first flop in 2018 they had a 100% streak. They're now on 10/13 + a no-show in 2016.
Poland also return after three years of NQ. They're 6/12 since 2008, having skipped 2012-2013.
Montenegro once again fail to progress, equalling their worst ever run from 2007-2013.They're on 2/11 since 2008, having skipped 2013 and 2021. Last seen in the finals in 2015.
Belgium nab a second qualification in a row. Their best run was 2015-2017, with three consecutive top ten finalists. 7/14 since 2008.
Sweden extend the second-longest winning streak in the Contest (behind Ukraine) though they win in terms of consistently showing up. 10th in a row (8Qs + 2 hostings)
Czech Republic prevail after NQing in 2021. They're 3/9 in total, having sat out 2010-2014. Their best run was back-to-back qualifiers from 2018-2019.

 

[VoR]

Sweden look to be the big winner from this semi

 

[Nancy]

In belated answer to the ‘why were there only two Il Volvo on the stage’ questions, the other one got the Covid.

So he hadn’t gone to the zoo then.

 

[Saltwater]

Sweden look to be the big winner from this semi

View attachment 9982

I think that's the warmest iTunes reaction so far.

 

[Saltwater]

Youtube's most viewed from last night are Serbia, Spain, Poland.

 

[Penelope]

Youtube's most viewed from last night are Serbia, Spain, Poland.

Sweden usually do relatively badly on Eurovision performance immediate YouTube views because everyone at home has usually seen it to death already, in a way which isn't really necessarily the case elsewhere

 

[Lucille]

Konstrakta has 1.5 million views Nearly double Chanel in second.

 

[Dark Carnival]

This year continues to be fucking shit ‍♀

 

[Diddy]

WELL! I've finally caught my breath. That was a MUCH more entertaining set of songs. Overjoyed at MI BEBEBE getting through, and Sweden obv - heartbroken for Brooke and that riddled San Marino guy. I probably wouldn't have changed much else with the qualifiers, Belgium and Australia out instead of Ireland and San Marino, maybe Israel instead of Azerbaijan too. I guess 7/10 isn't really THAT bad a showing, especially if my faves survived.

Romania and Sweden really were the MOMENTS though. Romania really turned me out, in particular. Sweden ... I love the song, she seems a bit of a mardy cow and I just don't GET why Sweden insists on these stupid props every year - the circle in particular adds nothing at all, and I just end up wondering what it's for during the perf. Can't they ever just trust the staging of the hosts? It would make it a bit more interesting than just trotting the MF one out again. But I concede this is a loon problem, not a general public one.

This show is such a hot mess - I am proud of them for keeping mostly on schedule considering the ludicrous props used this year People wheeling out airplane stairs, Escher painting reconstructions, shopping arcades etc, it took the attention away from the black sun, but goodness

 

[Diddy]

The hosts are ridiculous - that opening skit with Alessandro and his shit dancing and sucking up to TikTok constantly was a NO from me. Paula doing a muscle pose at the start?!
Mika is alright but he's totally shitting it - that moment filling in before Australia was THE FEAR

2/3 of Il Volo (who don't look as cute as before so...), I don't really want to hear opera in English either, it feels weird. I don't know why you would perform a less interesting staging of the 2015 perf when you don't have the same restrictions anymore.

And WHY are they always cutting to seemingly random crowd members who don't know it's coming - random apart from that pair, the woman with the black mask and the teenage girl looking bored on her phone - they were zoomed in on like 4 or 5 times are they famous? Something something TikTok?