Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 6 - Malta, Portugal, Bulgaria & Hungary RESULTS

Isn't there a big Portuguese diaspora in France? They seem to score them highly OFTEN.

Either THAT or the French are DEAF.
 
I also have no memory of how it goes and I must have heard it at least 8-10 times in my life.
 
Portuguese entries usually only come in two flavours types - digestive or garibaldi. Those two years in 2014 and 2015 when they sent custard cream were such a false but wonderful dawn.
 
7th: Nonstop - Coisas de nada (39pts)
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"Indeed, the essence of Camp is its love of the unnatural: of artifice and exaggeration." - Susan Sontag, 'Notes on "Camp"' (1964)

Absolutely nothing about this is "exaggerated". True to standard Portuguese form, this is female pop in its most bargain basement form, powered with all the animating force of a Phil Collins Motown cover and pleasing exactly as many gays. That is to say - this entry here may well be the precise opposite of camp (perhaps with the exception of the godawful costumes, which won the Barbara Dex handsomely that year).

Formed by Portugal's answer to Popstars, there's no record of Nonstop existing after this, so as such I presume they were all put in a cage and forced to eat each other to whittle the numbers down from four to two for the remaining return air fare tickets to Lisbon afterwards. (the ones in teal and fluorescent beige won)

2 x 6 (@Kratz, @dmlaw)
6 x 0 (@win_the_game, @auretz, @David 5000, @Broomhelga, @ZenGiraffe, @Kevin7)
 
Ha! I gave this 6. Had they even rehearsed?

The iconic moment when one of them sings at the wrong time.

Wooooooo!
 
6th: Sofia Vitoria - Foi magia (62pts)
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(That photo - is ANYONE in this day and age still impressed by a backing dancer lotus?! "OMG - it looks like she has ten arms! SEVERAL OF THEM MANLY!")

Fair play to Sofia - this is probably one of the worst songs I've ever heard, but I was at least entertained. Game old bird Soph at least carries herself with the commitment of a hag determined to have sex with something that night, even if it happens to be one of the gay backing dancers/a passing spaniel (you don't get the sense she has many compunctions about these things come 2am), which lends this a peppy air which, say, Coisas de nada certainly could've done with.

Anyway, it didn't do this much better in the end either, finishing fifteenth and out in the first set of semi-finals the contest saw, with just a 12 from Andorra to salve her wounds. Hope the brood of puppies is doing well at least Soph!

1 x 10 (@David 5000)
1 x 0 (@Queen of the Bay)
 
Penelope said:
7th: Nonstop - Coisas de nada (39pts)
nonstop_lead.png


"Indeed, the essence of Camp is its love of the unnatural: of artifice and exaggeration." - Susan Sontag, 'Notes on "Camp"' (1964)

Absolutely nothing about this is "exaggerated". True to standard Portuguese form, this is female pop in its most bargain basement form, powered with all the animating force of a Phil Collins Motown cover and pleasing exactly as many gays. That is to say - this entry here may well be the precise opposite of camp (perhaps with the exception of the godawful costumes, which won the Barbara Dex handsomely that year).

Formed by Portugal's answer to Popstars, there's no record of Nonstop existing after this, so as such I presume they were all put in a cage and forced to eat each other to whittle the numbers down from four to two for the remaining return air fare tickets to Lisbon afterwards. (the ones in teal and fluorescent beige won)

2 x 6 (@Kratz, @dmlaw)
6 x 0 (@win_the_game, @auretz, @David 5000, @Broomhelga, @ZenGiraffe, @Kevin7)
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This was their Popstars? You mean they auditioned and were picked?
 
5th: 2B - Amar (110pts)
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Internally selected (oh OF COURSE this was! As if the Portuguese public would've ever voted for this much DUMB FUN written by anyone other than Emanuel!), Europe was protected from the full power of this brain damaged chaos on the night by the microphones being cut off intermittently. There are many things I could write for this, but sometimes the only way to do true justice to a performance is merely to let it play once more and be seen in its true glory.



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2 x 12 (@ButterTart, @Tisch)
3 x 0 (@Music, @Kratz, @krang)
 
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Penelope said:
5th: 2B - Amar (110pts)
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Internally selected (oh OF COURSE this was! As if the Portuguese public would've ever voted for this much DUMB FUN written by anyone other than Emanuel!), Europe was protected from the full power of this brain damaged chaos on the night by the microphones being cut off intermittently on the night. There are many things I could write for this, but sometimes the only way to do true justice to a performance is merely to let it play once more and be seen in its true glory.



View attachment 7612

2 x 12 (@ButterTart, @Tisch)
3 x 0 (@Music, @Kratz, @krang)
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How did anyone find anything more worthy of giving a 12 to out of this shower?
 
4th: Rita Guerra - Deixa-me sonhar (148pts)
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This was actually WINNING for the first half of the voting, but had the mother of all tail-offs in the second half.

The first entry so far you might not actually be embarrassed to show your relatives, old REET here got internally selected by the Portuguese broadcaster and had this barely veiled take on Aerosmith - Don't Wanna Miss A Thing win by an almost North Korean margin over the other two potential songs she was lined up to go to Riga with that year.

Say what you will about it, it's obviously very NICE :) I've always had a soft spot for it as one of the entries from my first loon year, and to be fair to the poor cow and her foul snakeskin dress, she did find out that her brother had died the day before. I like to think she felt like she was winning the whole thing during her money note at the 2:32 mark, even if that moment was in ENTIRELY the same spirit as Bonnie Tyler ascending the HYDRAULIC LIFT a decade later (to almost exactly the same level of support, coming 22nd with a mere 13 points :bruised:)



2 x 12 (@win_the_game, @Soldi)
2 x 2 (@Diddy, @RJN)
 
Lovely Rita. I believe she is/was one of the bigger names Portugal sent in the 00s, so her low score (in one of the most competitive Eurovisions ever) may have contributed to only rank amateurs being interested for several years thereafter.
 
3rd: Sabrina - Dança comigo (150pts)
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The sole representative for Portugal this decade of pimba - the Portuguese answer to schlager, its braindead formulaic pop genre, helmed by Emanuel, a Simon Cowell-cum-Fredrik Kempe maestro figure who was responsible for penning this - this doesn't have anywhere near as much pep and verve as the other more beloved representation of it, Quero ser tua.

Nonetheless, in a year and semi-final as starved of at least semi-competent dumb fun as 2007's, that was still enough for a reserved take on the genre to do as well as Quero ser tua did, finishing 11th and just a couple of points from reaching the final in the mega 28-song slog that was that semi - evidence if ever there was any of just how much of a baseline hunger there is for this stuff among the European audience. 2 for 2 on non-qualifiers probably wouldn't be the most promising set of stats to go on ordinarily, but you can't help but feel like Portugal could luck out on a good finish eventually if they kept ploughing at this furrow.

(Separately - what on earth is the concept behind sending backing dancers that blazingly faggy?)



1 x 12 (@dmlaw)
1 x 2 (@ZenGiraffe)
 
Penelope said:
she did find out that her brother had died the day before.
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Wasn't she told a few minutes before she went on stage? It's understandable that a performer might not be at their best if they've just been given bad news; before her interval act in 2019, Madonna found out one of her great-grandchildren had been diagnosed with senile dementia.
 
Danca Conmigo is nothing special, but by God the 2007 final would have benefited from it getting over the line.
 
2nd: Flor-de-lis - Todas as ruas do amor (179pts)
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Sorry @VoR, I tried :(

Something of a triumph by the standards of a pre-Salvador Portugal (hell, a post-Salvador Portugal too), that this finished 15th in a contest as uber-competitive as 2009's is testament to how strong this was. While basically everything getting barged out of the way by the Rybak juggernaut that year meant this ended up with no 12s on the grand final night, by Portuguese standards a qualification and near-left hand position is certainly nothing to be sniffed at, and 57 points was a decent little clutch when all was said and done.

I've always been a fan of how sweet and winsome this is - although I was very amused just now to find out it elbowed aside Luciana Abreu, formerly of 2B, en route to the finals, who'd been attempting to send, uh, When Spirits Are Calling My Name :D



10 x 12 (@Penelope, @auretz, @Queen of the Bay, @VoR, @Music, @Ill Advised, @Diddy, @Broomhelga, @krang, @Kevin7)
1 x 1 (@Tisch - MONSTER! :oi:)
 
omg that Luciana Abreu song really is When Spirits Are Calling My Name. :D Can't believe I never noticed.

The 3:02 where she's pulling at her blue veil. :D
 
I knew it was doomed when Tisch slagged it off.

An all-time top tenner for me. I just find it beautiful, and her little face crumple at the end gets me every time.
 
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