Pumpkin - what do you think?

Four cans of Strongbow and a bag of heroin please, Sonia

  • I adore it and think about it all the time

    Votes: 13 40.6%

  • Even better than The Ivy

    Votes: 7 21.9%

  • I would rather go hungry

    Votes: 9 28.1%

  • I enjoy to empty myself on the sandwiches (Martha Skidd option)

    Votes: 4 12.5%

  • Other AKA I can’t be bothered thinking of any other options

    Votes: 7 21.9%
  • Total voters
    32
COB said:
On the ground reportage from CARLISLE.
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Shop was clean and in good order, though the seating area was closed. One girl on the counter who was very chatty and nice, though she unfortunately couldn't sell me the toastie I'd originally chosen as the machine was being cleaned (good sign re: commitment to cleanliness though plus I got crisps instead). Standard signage behind counter, no sign of the Winter Warmers yet though it might still be too early in the year for them. My hot chocolate was made very promptly and served with a smile, though in a plain white cup without the familiar Pumpkin branding. Would recommend!

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Well this is lovely but FAR too positive. Where were the stink pigs slobbering down their pasties while gently pissing on the floor? Why was nobody being sick on the fruit machine? Why was there no human hair in the piping hot beverage?
 
Did you see the little cunt waiter?

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@COB Much as I appreciate Pumpkin cleaning the toastie machine, I have to wonder how long it can possibly take and am a little angry on your behalf. Surely a quick wipe with a pair of old knickers dipped in Fairy-enriched water takes a minute at most?
 
COB said:
Seems to have been retired, in this location at least - and not before time. Wonder what sort of package he got :eyes:
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I’ve been chatting to him on sexy new dating app MY TWINKLE and he tells me that he got a pair of old knickers and a £3 British Home Stores voucher. Quite bitter as you’d imagine
 
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How exactly did chat about Too Good To Go and rotting sausages make its way into the Pumpkin Chatbox? I do hope that nobody is suggesting a correlation between staling foods and tasty fresh Pumpkin fayre!
 
How did the STAFF feel about the impending re-brand? Must be gutting when you’ve devoted your life to beloved PUMPKIN, only to have it SNATCHED AWAY.
 
I wonder what the Pumpkin CORPORATE VALUES are (or were))? After a lifetime of living the Pumpkin lifestyle and having the values forcibly tattooed onto their privates, it’s going to be very hard for the staff to adapt :(
 
Does UPPER CRUST (or the like) have platform-based eateries with seating areas to cater for devastated Pumpkin fans? Obviously I rarely leave my life of non-stop metropolitan glamour so have only ever seen the branches (or shall we call them PORTALS) at London terminais
 
I do think the smell of an eaterie as inhaled upon entry should always be taken seriously, with doing a runner considered as an option at the earliest opportunity. I recently went to an Italian which smelt awful and then the food itself smelt awful. It was probably donkey meat. Also the only beer on tap was FOSTER’S. How horribly common :(
 
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