Text Synth (uses AI to write something based on a few words you feed it)

What the actual fuck is this thread? This is some bullshit shit right here. It’s not a forum you are meant to post and share, let alone this shit. You gotta be fucking stupid to think posting your dick is going to make anyone do anything for you, man. You are being a fucking idiot by posting this shit. Seriously, look at this shit, it’s like a fucking nightmare. You think this shit is going to make anyone want to see your dick? No fucking way, man. You posted this shit so that everyone can laugh and shit. Fuck. You should be ashamed of yourself, posting your dick for everyone to see. You should have kept that shit hidden, especially since the shit you posted is so fucking awkward and bizarre. You probably thought posting your dick in the forum was going to make everyone do whatever you wanted, but that’s bullshit, man. You posted this shit to make everyone laugh and shit. This is going to be something you think about in the future,
 
Oh Rachey not Rachey

"Oh Rachey not Rachey" is the debut single by American rapper Lil B, released on February 9, 2005, on his independent label, Gotti Records. The song, which samples the song "Bop" by English hip hop group Massive Attack, was originally released in 2004 and originally titled "Uh Oh". Lil B's debut release is notable for being one of the earliest instances of sample clearance issues in hip hop, as "Uh Oh" originally appeared on a sample of "Bop" (a Massive Attack song from the early 1990s) without permission, and therefore could not be released, and it was only due to sample clearance issues that "Uh Oh" was eventually released by Gotti Records. After the video was released online in 2005, and peaked at number 25 on the Hot Rap Songs chart and number 11 on the UK Singles Chart, it was released as a single. In 2011, the video was re-released by Gotti Records due to a sample clearance issue, and it went on to peak at number 20 on the UK Singles Chart.
 
OutSynk said:
Waking up to 5 pages of this.

hVXzIxP.gif
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NEVER EVER FAILS
 
I scream you scream we all scream for Rachey" "Rachey!" "Rachey, come out!" "Come out, little baby." "I love you." "Rachey." "Where are you?" "Rachey!" "Rachey." "Rachey." "Don't come in, honey." "Don't." "Honey." "You wanna go to sleep?" "Let me fix it for you." "It's okay." "You can't come in." "It's cold, and you can't sleep here." "Come on, let's go." "I'm too cold." "I'll just..." "I'll just put you down." "This is not good." "This is not good." "We'll just go to sleep, okay?" "Let's go." "Hey, little baby." "This is not right." "This is not right." "We just gotta go to sleep, okay?" "It's all right, it's okay.
 
Old Man Funky was such a huge part of my early teenage life. At fourteen I fell in love with him. So did a lot of other people. He was part of the reason I wanted to be in a band. I wanted to be an artist like him. I wanted to be a street entertainer like him. I wanted to be funky like him. I wanted to rock and roll like him. He was old and funky, and he never gave a fuck. That was his thing. I had never seen anything like him. He was a man who could stand for hours in a busy street corner with a megaphone, shouting out messages of love. He seemed to have an endless supply of energy, and an amazing stage presence. His music videos were crazy. He was wearing a suit from the 1980’s, but it was too big for him. It made him look like a clown.

Poor clown-dressed funky and his megaphone :(
 
Hey you, over there, on the chaise longue in your underwear. Get your feet off the cushions. What are you thinking about?

That was the reaction many fans had to some tweets from singer Taylor Swift Thursday afternoon, reports the Associated Press.

Swift was reacting to the news that the pop star had been named an honoree of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences.

The Grammy-winning singer is going to be honored with a Lifetime Achievement Award at the annual Grammys ceremony on Feb. 10, at Los Angeles’ Staples Center.

“Taylor, thank you for all the wonderful memories & for paving the way for all the women in music that follow,” tweeted Grammy director of nominations Gary Trust, in response to Swift. “I look forward to having you in Los Angeles on Sunday.”
 
The last time I posted my dick on the forum was last summer. So I'm gonna keep it simple. I didn't have sex last weekend because I was in the hospital for pneumonia and couldn't have sex until the doctor gave the OK. I was discharged today so I think I have the OK. Also my dick is starting to shrink so I'm going to be posting much less because it will soon be gone! Anyway, I think it's a good time to start posting again and let everyone know I'm alive. It's been a while.

This is me! Me being me!
 
The greatest thing about Lucy’s hole is that it looks like a butt-hole, but it is a hole used to receive and discharge energy and to give and receive life force. The greatest thing about Lucy’s hole is that it is infinite and is a symbol of the greatest power, the power of creation and love. Lucy’s butt-hole: where her energy flows and her life force lies.
 
win_the_game said:
What the actual fuck is this thread? This is some bullshit shit right here. It’s not a forum you are meant to post and share, let alone this shit. You gotta be fucking stupid to think posting your dick is going to make anyone do anything for you, man. You are being a fucking idiot by posting this shit. Seriously, look at this shit, it’s like a fucking nightmare. You think this shit is going to make anyone want to see your dick? No fucking way, man. You posted this shit so that everyone can laugh and shit. Fuck. You should be ashamed of yourself, posting your dick for everyone to see. You should have kept that shit hidden, especially since the shit you posted is so fucking awkward and bizarre. You probably thought posting your dick in the forum was going to make everyone do whatever you wanted, but that’s bullshit, man. You posted this shit to make everyone laugh and shit. This is going to be something you think about in the future,
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This has an American accent in my mind.
 
Lucille said:
The greatest thing about Lucy’s hole is that it looks like a butt-hole, but it is a hole used to receive and discharge energy and to give and receive life force. The greatest thing about Lucy’s hole is that it is infinite and is a symbol of the greatest power, the power of creation and love. Lucy’s butt-hole: where her energy flows and her life force lies.
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Might put this on my tinder profile.
 
The best drunken attempt at a sandwich was this one made by a college student from the UK on New Year’s Day 2009. It consisted of a sandwich filled with the college student’s own urine. (Don’t worry, the sandwich wasn’t drugged beforehand or anything!)

It’s not an original idea. Back in 2001, a high school student in California called it a “Fart Sandwich.” Another person posted in a comment section of the original blog a sandwich created by a high school student in Australia named Tom. (The blog post about that sandwich is here.) But what is original is the college student who actually made this sandwich, Adam. And you’ve gotta admit, it’s delicious!

So, if you get your hands on some free time (which is never), you should be brave enough to try this sandwich out for yourself. Just be careful how much you drink while doing it, you might end up puking the whole time you’re eating it!
 
My beautiful erection is made of steel and it has no time for your pussy." "You know what to do." "Yes, Mommy." "MILF, YOU ARE THE MAN!" "OKAY!" "SHE'S GOOD!" "WHAT'S THAT FOR?" "COME ON!" "GOOD LUCK!" "YOUR WIFE WILL ALWAYS BE A MILF!" "CUM HARDER!" "AND THAT IS ALL, WIFE!" "DO YOU THINK HE'S STILL ALIVE?" "WHO CARES, UH, MR. NANNY?" "WELL, MY FATHER'S STILL GONNA PICK ME UP," "AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN DOUBLE COACH WITH OUR FAMILIES," "BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM." "LOOK, BABE, I'M SURE YOU CAN CATCH A FREIGHT TRAIN SOMEWH
 
This new Canadian film about Celine Dion which will be called Aline Dieu, meaning "To God be the glory", was filmed in both French and English. (There's a French original which got into Sundance, but the new Canadian version is in English). It seems that the filmmakers feel they have to explain what an American audience is not used to. That being the fact that, even in their movie, everyone who listens to Celine Dion is a good, moral person, and everyone who isn't, isn't. At all. That's how the first 20 minutes play out.

We follow the story of a singer who is not so very talented, and who's getting married, to the tune of "My Heart Will Go On". The audience is shown a couple of scenes from her concert, where she sings the song, and we see the wedding on a video screen. That's all we see until the movie is cut in half, in the middle of her first number. The first half is a rather silly, predictable story about her going to Montreal and finding herself married to the father of the daughter she was having an affair with. There are a few good scenes at first, and then the film begins to play fast and loose with facts.
 
Queen of the Bay said:
This new Canadian film about Celine Dion which will be called Aline Dieu, meaning "To God be the glory", was filmed in both French and English. (There's a French original which got into Sundance, but the new Canadian version is in English). It seems that the filmmakers feel they have to explain what an American audience is not used to. That being the fact that, even in their movie, everyone who listens to Celine Dion is a good, moral person, and everyone who isn't, isn't. At all. That's how the first 20 minutes play out.

We follow the story of a singer who is not so very talented, and who's getting married, to the tune of "My Heart Will Go On". The audience is shown a couple of scenes from her concert, where she sings the song, and we see the wedding on a video screen. That's all we see until the movie is cut in half, in the middle of her first number. The first half is a rather silly, predictable story about her going to Montreal and finding herself married to the father of the daughter she was having an affair with. There are a few good scenes at first, and then the film begins to play fast and loose with facts.
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that doesn’t sound any stranger than the actual movie synopsis
 
Story so far:

Claire Sweeney died
John Sentamu replaces Sweeney on Loose Women
Nadine Coyle replaces Sentamu as Archbishop of York
Sue Nicholls replaces Coyle in Girls Aloud
John Redwood MP replaces Nicholls in Coronation Street
Laura Linney replaces Redwood in the House of Commons
Sarah Smith replaces Linney in that cancer drama
Kay Burley replaces Smith in Same Difference
Duchess of Cornwall replaces Burley in Sky News
Angela Merkel replaces Camilla as Princess of Wales
Jesus replaces Merkel as Chancellor of Germany
Anthony Costa replaces Christ as Christian messiah
Caroline Wyatt replaces Costa in Blue
Lulu replaces Wyatt as BBC Defence Correspondent
Dannii Minogue replaces Lulu as the guest vocalist on "Relight My Fire"
Funky replaces Dannii as Ethan's childcare provider
Heather Small replaces funky as the new funky
Theresa May replaces Small as the Olympic theme song singer
Mrs Goggins replaces May as Home Secretary
George Papandreou replaces Goggins as Greendale Postmistress
Jesy from Little Mix replaces Papandreou as Prime Minister of the Hellenic Republic
Slave replaces Jesy in Little Mix
Boutros Boutros-Ghali replaces Slave as a reviewer of nineties singles
ZsaZsa Gabor replaces Boutros-Ghali as the next Boutros-Ghali
Lulu replaces Gabor as decrepit person dying of old age
Peter Jackson replaces Lulu as BBC Defence Correspondent
Alison Janney replaces Jackson as Director of The Hobbit
Ed The Duck replaces Janney as indie film character actor
Pope Benedict XVI replaces Ed as broom cupboard companion
Fatima Whitbread replaces Benedict as Pope
Andy Crane replaces Whitbread as IACGMOOH contestant
Anders Behring Breivik replaces Crane as CBBC Presenter
Lulu replaces Breivik as Norwegian terrorist
Kelly Llorenna replaces Lulu as dying person
Nina Wadia replaces Llorenna as lighthouse foghorn
Mustafa Jalil replaces Wadia in Eastenders
Jade Ewen replaces Jalil as President of Libya
Nicola Sturgeon replaces Ewen in the Sugababes
President Rouhani replaces Sturgeon as SNP leader
VoR replaces Rouhani as President of Iran
Koko the gorilla replaces VoR as occasional Guardian columnist
Cilla Black replaces Koko as the world's most famous talking gorilla
Laura Linney replaces Cilla Black as Shadow Lounge regular
Gabrielle Irimia replaces Linney as MP for Wokingham
Janet Street Porter replaces Gabrielle in the Cheeky Girls
His Holiness Patriarch Kirill of Moscow replaces Janet Street Porter on Loose Women panel
Natalia Gordienko replaces Kirill as head of the Russian church
Kamala Harris replaces Gordienko as a Eurovision record holder
David Beckham replaces Harris in the House of Commons
Kofi Annan replaces Beckham in England’s World Cup squad
Kerry Katona replaces Annan as Britain's World Cup captain
Tony Blair replaces Katona as Labour leader
Nick Clegg replaces Blair as Deputy Prime Minister
Penny Morgan replaces Katona as British World Cup co-commentator
Paul Gascoigne replaces Clegg as English national football team midfielder
Maggie Smith replaces Gascoigne as BBC drama presenter
Stephen Fry replaces Smith as British Olympic ice dancing coach
Alistair Hunkins replaces Fry as British Olympic swimming coach
Kris Bryant replaces Hunkins as Cubs outfielder
Tomasetti replaces Bryant as Cubs catcher
Benjamin Netanyahu replaces Hunkins as Israeli prime minister
 
All the people, so many people." "They all seemed very good at what they were doing." "And the house was all full of people, and they were all talking about all kinds of things." "And there was food, and there were drinks, and there were so many people that... we started drinking and things just kind of... you know, it's hard to explain." "Things just kind of happened, you know." "It was a wonderful party, and then it turned into a party at the house where people were very drunk, and we were going up the stairs, and I was going first." "Suddenly, there was a crash." "When you see them there, something is just a little bit off." "The house wasn't falling down." "It was quite sturdy." "It was rather like a large building, and it wasn't actually collapsing." "But I remember the sound of splintering, just as I was going up the stairs, a splintering sound."
 
The novelty had finally worn off, just like the enamel had worn off beneath Martha Skidd’s toxic and spiteful fecal load.

That fecal load.

You might think that a person would have the common sense to wash their butt after an enema.

You might think that.

But I’m not Martha Skidd. I’m not an old, crusty, fecal-stained woman. :horny:
 
If you like bright and breazy, with strong relistenability, then Natalie Imbruglia’s song, T-shirt and I Am Not A Robot, will probably resonate with you.

This is the track for your summer party playlist. But this is not just a song about sex. In fact, Imbruglia herself admits that there is no mention of sex in the song. Instead, it is more about empowerment. In her words, “a lot of people misinterpret the message.” For most of us, it’s not about sex. It’s about feeling great.
 
Determined to revitalise things with smut, we welcome back in this week's edition of the Spintronic series, the spandex-clad "Troubles" with his story "Crying While Wanking", a tale involving a boy whose father was having an affair with his mother.
 
When I met jivafox, he had a few words for the media that he really wanted to get across. He’s frustrated. He said the media is misrepresenting the issue, and this is getting him into trouble. He’s got a point. People with an axe to grind are bound to jump in. I’m not sure of jivafox’s axe, but he certainly had one to grind. He’s right to be cautious, given what has happened. However, if you want to understand jivafox’s thoughts on something, you’d be well advised to go to a public place and ask him face to face. I’ve known jivafox for a while. I’ve spoken with him, listened to his thoughts and had a good laugh with him. I’ve never met him. That’s what I mean when I say I’ve known him a while. I’ve spent a few hours with him in a chat room.

What has @jivafox done? :o
 
The gay chat lounge had changed, and not for the better. In the place of the good-humoured, friendly banter, the bar itself was now divided into tiny individual booths, each equipped with a microphone and a small, hand-held television. The TV screen showed a close-up of an orangutan’s face.

“Oooohhhh,” one of the men sitting nearby sighed.

Across the room, across the bar, I could hear the same kind of sighs, and the same kind of groans, coming from my own party guests.

“Gays have all but taken over,” they grumbled.

“It’s like we’re living in a museum now,” said another.

“We’re living in the Stone Age,” said yet another.

There was a long silence. There was a long, terrible silence.

orangutan_square.jpg
 
On the day that @ZenGiraffe realised the truth about his taste in music, he sat down and wrote a letter. The letter wasn’t addressed to his parents, he didn’t have a pen or paper. It was just a piece of paper with his most recent thoughts written down. It was a letter to himself, a letter that he’d never expected to receive, but one he would want to write now. Here are his words, transcribed verbatim and edited only for grammar and spelling:

Dear ZenGiraffe, I write this to you, because, for the first time in over 30 years, I feel as though I’m actually having a conversation with you. As an adult, in fact. The last time I had anything resembling a conversation with you, you were just over a year old and the rest of us were too young to understand what all of this meant.

You remember, don’t you? You came down to the kitchen, wearing a black zip-up jacket. You ran over and hopped up on the counter and said, “Hi!” And it felt like we were saying hi for the first time ever, not to one another, but to the person we’d already been saying hi to for the last 40 years.

I remember that feeling. I was in love with that feeling. But somewhere along the line we’ve stopped, haven’t we? We’ve forgotten how to say “Hi”, haven’t we? We’re too busy trying to work out whether the thing you’re saying is something we want to say back. We’ve forgotten that the one person in the world that makes us feel the same way we felt in the kitchen that day is still here.
 
Iguana said:
On the day that @ZenGiraffe realised the truth about his taste in music, he sat down and wrote a letter. The letter wasn’t addressed to his parents, he didn’t have a pen or paper. It was just a piece of paper with his most recent thoughts written down. It was a letter to himself, a letter that he’d never expected to receive, but one he would want to write now. Here are his words, transcribed verbatim and edited only for grammar and spelling:

Dear ZenGiraffe, I write this to you, because, for the first time in over 30 years, I feel as though I’m actually having a conversation with you. As an adult, in fact. The last time I had anything resembling a conversation with you, you were just over a year old and the rest of us were too young to understand what all of this meant.

You remember, don’t you? You came down to the kitchen, wearing a black zip-up jacket. You ran over and hopped up on the counter and said, “Hi!” And it felt like we were saying hi for the first time ever, not to one another, but to the person we’d already been saying hi to for the last 40 years.

I remember that feeling. I was in love with that feeling. But somewhere along the line we’ve stopped, haven’t we? We’ve forgotten how to say “Hi”, haven’t we? We’re too busy trying to work out whether the thing you’re saying is something we want to say back. We’ve forgotten that the one person in the world that makes us feel the same way we felt in the kitchen that day is still here.
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I Dont Even Know What That Means GIF by GIPHY News
 
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times. I’m referring, of course, to this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I’m talking to you, Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Eileen Davidson, Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave and Dorit Kemsley.

As I was perusing our favorite cast members’ Instagrams and Twitter feeds, I came across the above photo of Lisa. She’s wearing glasses, and looking all sorts of glamorous. Who knows what she’s doing, or whether she just decided to wear her glasses because she wanted to.

The caption that goes along with it reads, “So many questions about my health.”

Of course, many of these women have had health scares of their own, and some of them — most notably Dorit, but also Lisa and Teddi — have been struggling with mental health. The last few months have been rough for many of these women, and
 
OMG this is so meta:


As Luann slapped Ramona across the face with a diamond-studded slipper, the two women finally realized that they were no longer part of reality television.

"This is all going to be OK," Ramona told the camera. "You know, everybody's got their issues, but we're gonna get through this." She had a point. Yet as the audience looked at the two women's faces, they weren't watching any TV. They were staring into the abyss. In their faces and their tears, you could read their thoughts:

Ramona's: I'm in so much trouble. I can't believe this is happening.

Luann's: I just killed my husband's little dog. I have blood on my hands.

Ramona: Are you insane? Is this what it's like to be you?

Luann: Where am I? Who am I? I'm lost.

When the episode ended, the two women looked up at the camera, then each other, then back to the camera. Luann had no words. She just sat there, waiting for the next assault.

The reason for the assault was not lost on the audience.
 
Reasons why Moopy is full of gays: A look into the mind of Dr. Preet Banerjee

An article in The Quint, “Moopy, the Gay Unicorn of India“, by a social media influencer, has hit newsstands, provoking many to laugh, rage or cringe. It makes for a great case study in the power of social media influencers, and how they make a living off the clicks. But does any of this actually shed light on the reasons behind homosexuality in India, or what’s being projected as “unnatural” and “evil”?
 
Kate said:
Reasons why Moopy is full of gays: A look into the mind of Dr. Preet Banerjee

An article in The Quint, “Moopy, the Gay Unicorn of India“, by a social media influencer, has hit newsstands, provoking many to laugh, rage or cringe. It makes for a great case study in the power of social media influencers, and how they make a living off the clicks. But does any of this actually shed light on the reasons behind homosexuality in India, or what’s being projected as “unnatural” and “evil”?
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I think that sums it up quite nicely
 
Cilla Black was eaten alive by crocodiles when she got trapped in a raging river with three others on a camping trip in the Australian Outback in 1972.

She has never forgotten the horror of her near-death experience, which was featured in the BBC documentary The Crocodile Hunter (1975).

The Queen's former nanny, who rose to fame through the show, was just 19 and in her third year at the Sylvia Young Theatre School when the deadly encounter happened.

The young lady became a national figure after she was shown in the film and played the titular role in the BBC television series Cilla Black (1982-1983).

She has described how she and two pals were trapped on the bank of a dry river bed when a massive croc attacked and devoured her companion.

After being caught in its jaws, she was dragged into the water and thrashed and pulled about. Cilla Black suffered a ruptured spleen, crushed ribs, severe bleeding and a concussion.

“There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think of that horrible, horrible event,” she has said.

The episode was broadcast to the UK in March 1975, after she was picked as Britain’s first ever "ambassador" for youth.

It was shown as part of a three-hour tribute to her and other people on both sides of the Atlantic in December.

Cilla has been in charge of organising events marking the 30th anniversary of the tragedy with the Cenotaph in London and has set up the Crocodile Hunter Fund to help young people with problems to overcome addiction and other lifestyle issues.

The Cenotaph event on Remembrance Sunday in London, where Black’s two friends did not want to appear, included performances by Adele, Jessie J and Stormzy.
 
The only title I’d trade Countess for…is Wife

“But you can’t say that now!”

“We’re not married. You’re not my wife,” I said, taking a deep breath.

“You’re a countess, in charge of this castle,” he said, holding his ground. “Which is why you can’t say we’re not married!” I said, pointing out the obvious.

“Okay,” he said, still sounding like he wanted to argue. “If you’re going to throw away a good marriage just because the last one didn’t work, I don’t want to marry you at all.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Countess of Shrek, you’re a very pretty woman. And you’ve got a very nice dress on. But to make it clear to everyone what I really am, I’m going to start calling you Princess Fiona.”
 
10 reasons why Moopy is full of gays:

1. Most of the cast are gay, and a few of them live together. (The gay couple who are not a romantic couple are actually just having an affair. Don’t worry, you can’t tell because they’re not wearing clothes). :shock: (is this Soldi & DC?)

2. They’re always making jokes about each other’s outfits or hairstyles, and calling each other pretty names. (Aww, they’re just joking around).

3. Moopy is the only series with a gay couple in it and it’s shown on Disney XD.

4. They’re the only animated characters to ever make me gay. (I’m straight, deal with it, you’re ruining a perfectly good argument).

5. Moopy is the only cartoon character to make out with a horse. :shock:

6. Moopy is the only character to have three different voices.

7. In one episode Moopy and his brother were accidentally taken to jail for a crime they didn’t commit, and in another episode Moopy goes in a jail. (It’s fine, there are plenty of gay characters who live in a jail in other cartoons).

8. Moopy has several gay characters that he talks to about his problems, and he’s seen getting on the scale. (What, are you worried he’s gonna catch HIV? Please!).

9. Most of the male characters in this show are in love with each other, and they’re seen holding hands and hugging. (If you have to hold hands and hug each other you’re gay).

10. In one episode a character dies, and a group of gay friends come to talk about it. (I guess they’re just there for a reason).
 
Kate said:
Moopy has several gay characters that he talks to about his problems, and he’s seen getting on the scale. (What, are you worried he’s gonna catch HIV? Please!).
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Yes, that known vector for HIV transmission. Weighing yourself.
 
Big Ron thoroughly enjoyed his night in the gay sauna. But as he had been told, only those who have had training can use it properly. The training is, of course, about becoming one of the men of the night-club.

Big Ron had been very successful in his gay sauna training, and after only one night of the training he was ready to put all that training to good use. He was standing in the locker room, just after the showers, when a man came in from the sauna.

He said: "Hey Big Ron! How about a good time? I just came out of the sauna. You should come in! You're big enough to take care of me."

But Big Ron had no idea what he was supposed to do, and said he had no idea how he could possibly help him.

"I'm big. You are, too," he said. "I'll be able to take you, I hope."

The man had a big cock, and he took it out and let it waggle. Then he reached for Big Ron's cock, and began stroking it. Big Ron knew he was big, but he hadn't really expected to be stroked like that. The man's cock was so big that it began to tickle the inside of Big Ron's thigh.

"You know what you've got there?" he asked. "It's a real man's cock, and it likes you, too."
 
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